LEGACY: BUILDING A BETTER FAMILY
By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN EVER BUILD IS YOUR FAMILY? Your home?
WHAT DO WE MEAN WHEN WE SAY FATHERLESS?
Science teaches us it takes a Mother and a Father to give birth to a baby. We may make many claims but there still is a process of fertilization that is required for life.
Lamentations 5:3 We are orphans and fatherless, our mothers are as widows.
Orphans we are, not a father in sight, and our mothers no better than widows.
Exodus 22:22 Ye shall not afflict any widow, or fatherless child. 23 If thou afflict them in any wise, and they cry at all unto me, I will surely hear their cry; 24 And my wrath shall wax hot, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless.
The Biblical family establishes the parents are the primary defenders of life. The fatherless were considered an oppressed class in Israelite society. Life is much more difficult without a good mother and a good father. The widow and the children were considered helpless and under privileged and were often oppressed.
Exodus 22:22 Ye shall not afflict any widow, or fatherless child. 23 If thou afflict them in any wise, and they cry at all unto me, I will surely hear their cry; 24 And my wrath shall wax hot, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless.
God’s word warns us not to mistreat widows or orphans. When a society mistreats families all they have to do is to cry out to God. God takes this seriously. And God will defend in his anger. See God loves the widows and the fatherless.
GOD PROMISED TO BE GOD THE FATHER TO THE WIDOW, FATHERLESS OR ORPHAN. The “fatherless” depended on God’s mercy and God’s people. THE BOTTOM LINE IS THIS: THE FATHERLESS MUST LEARN TO DEPEND ON GOD FOR THEIR DAILY PROVISIONS AND SAFETY.
*LEGACY: SOMETHING TRANSMITTED OR RECEIVED FROM ANOTHER PERSON OR PREDECESSOR.
WHAT KIND OF LEGACY ARE YOU LEAVING? THE LEGACY OF MY FATHER. I STOPPED AT THE OLD HOMEPLACE IN JELLICO TENNESSEE.
There was no house there, a field of green grass. I thought I was in the right place, but in 40 years maybe I was wrong? The old country store was gone. Nothing looked the same. I walked over to the closest house and knocked on the door. A little lady came and opened the door. She seemed to be a little afraid of me. We talked a few minutes and I told the lady 40 years ago I lived in a big white house in the field next door. She still was distant. I told her my name. I am Wade M. Hughes and we lived here when I was in high school.
She told me I was not Wade M. Hughes, she knew Wade M. Hughes and she backed away even more. I got out my driver’s licenses and showed her who I was. She said: MARTIN? MARTIN IS THAT YOU? She told me she loved my Mom and Dad. She said your family left A LEGACY on this community. My Dad had pastored a church there. His LEGACY was still intact after 40 years.
She invited me to sit on the porch and talk. Her husband lost both legs in Viet Nam. He had since passed away. She told me who she was: CATHY. I remembered Cathy as a teenager. As we sat there she told me my Dad had married her and her husband. She told me how my Dad had officiated funerals for her family. My Dad had visited her family in the hospital.
She then told me a big storm had come through the county and destroyed the old home place and the country store.
CATHY WENT FROM COLD AND DISTANT to warm all because the LEGACY MY DAD HAD LEFT 40 YEARS AGO. Cathy invited me to stay for dinner and spend the night with her and the family. I had many miles to travel so I had to leave.
But what a change in the visit when she learned who my dad was… LEGACY!
WHAT KIND OF LEGACY ARE YOU LEAVING BEHIND? They are mean? They are quick tempered? They owe me money? They left a trail of pain, tears and hurt? IT IS UP TO YOU. GIVE YOUR FAMILY THE GIFT OF A GOOD LEGACY!
TO BUILD A HEALTHY, SOUND FAMILY WE MUST MAKE OUR PRIORITIES WHAT GOD THINKS IS IMPORTANT? IS YOUR FAMILY’S VALUE SYSTEM BASED ON BIBLICAL VALUES?
Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
1 Corinthians 4:2 Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.
What does God require? We must never forget in this matter of stewards your first requirement is that you must be trustworthy/faithful. Do I press my luck? I feel so guilty knowing how unpopular speaking on church attendance can be. But God speaks of church attendance, not just my pet peeve? ARE OUR HABITS BIBLICAL?
Hebrews 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
Do I desire to be popular more than God fearing? I shall answer before the BEMA SEAT of God.
TO BUILD A STRONG FAMILY THERE IS A GIFT YOU CAN NOT BYPASS. ONE OF THE BEST GIFTS YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN IS TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE… LOVE THEM AND CHERISH THEM… ANY EXCUSE FOR A SONG OF PRAISE.
I say we have a dating problem more than a marriage problem. Never date anyone that would not make a great mate. The Bible warns us not to be unequally yoked. Better dating? STRONGER MARRIAGES.
Ephesians 5:20(MSG) Sing praises over everything, any excuse for a song to God the Father in the name of our Master, Jesus Christ. 21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. 22 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. 23 The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. 24 So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. 25 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. 26 Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, 27 dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.
28 And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage. 29 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, 30 since we are part of his body. 31 And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." 32 This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. 33 And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.
TO BUILD A BETTER FAMILY LEARN THE LESSON OF TIME… WHAT YOU LOVE YOU WILL FIND TIME TO DO…
Romans 13:11 And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.
Ephesians 5:16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Are we honestly making the most of every minute we have? We are living in perilous, desperate times! We must guard against last minute living. We must make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your trivial pursuit and our day to day duties and obligations that we lose track of the time then we sleep and doze off forgetting God. We become oblivious to God.
TO BUILD BETTER FAMILIES WE MUST PRACTICE PATIENCE? FISHING REQUIRES PATIENCE… SO DOES BUILDING A HEALTHY FAMILY.
Luke 21:19 In your patience possess ye your souls.
Together we will make it… we can not be quitters. Stick to it. Staying with it—that's what is required. Stay with it to the end. You won't be sorry; you'll be saved.
TO BUILD A STRONG FAMILY WE MUST NEVER DISCUSS D-I-V-O-R-C-E! DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND VERBAL ABUSE DESTROYS HOMES.
Today over 20% of police officers’ death are committed DUE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Many homes are so filled with violence, anger, screaming and sarcasm. Verbal abuse is a high crime against the family. Many ugly scar wounds deeply from raised voices and angry words.
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Proverbs 15:4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.
Do we speak loving words? Do we know that gentle responses defuse anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire? Have we learned that kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and scar? Criticism tears down people. We must develop CREATIVE USE OF CONFLICT.
YEARS AGO THERE WAS A CALL FOR SOCIAL REFORM. THERE WERE SEVERAL STUDIES TO FOLLOW FAMILY HISTORY. REMEMBER THE STORY OF THE MAX JUKES FAMILY AND THE JONATHAN EDWARDS FAMIY?
In New York City during the same time period lived two families, THE JUKES and THE EDWARDS FAMILY. How you build your family really matters.
MAX JUKES did not believe in God and hated the church. He married a woman that did the same, she was an unbeliever. They lacked moral controls and Christian values. The study followed the JUKES FAMILY TREE THROUGH 1200 KNOWN DESCENDANTS.
• 310 BECAME BEGGARS, WANDERS FROM PLACE TO PLACE AND NEVER WORKED A STEADY JOB TO SUPPORT THEMSELVES.
• 440 CHOSE A TRAIL OF PLEASURE, TERRIBLE SINFUL LIFE STYLES.
• 130 WERE IN THE JAILS AND PRISON SYSTEMS FOR AN AVERAGE OF 13 YEARS.
• 7 WERE CHARGED AND CONVICTED OF MURDER.
• OVER 100 WERE ALCOHOLICS OR DRUG ABUSERS.
• 60 MADE A HABIT OF BEING THIEVES.
• 190 WERE PROSTITUTES.
• 20 LEARNED A TRADE, 10 OF THOSE WHILE IN PRISON.
• THE FAMILY COST THE STATE OF NEW YORK $1,500,000.
In the same time period there was a study of the JONATHAN EDWARDS FAMILY. Johnathan was a strong Christian believer and loved the Lord. He married a beautiful young lady that he met in church. They vowed to follow Jesus together. The study followed 970 of the Edwards family.
• OVER 300 BECAME PREACHERS, MISSIONARIES OR THEOLOGIANS.
• OVER 100 BECAME COLLEGE PROFESSORS.
• OVER 100 BECAME LAWYERS.
• 30 BECAME JUDGES.
• 60 BECAME DOCTORS.
• 60 WROTE BOOKS.
• 14 BECAME COLLEGE PRESIDENTS.
• 3 SERVED IN THE CONGRESS.
• 1 SERVED AS VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
CONCLUSION: YOU ARE BUILDING YOUR FAMILY BY YOUR ATTITUDES, YOUR HABITS, YOUR WORDS AND YOUR VALUE SYSTEM. What is important to your family? What is important to God? A beautiful house? Or a beautiful home? I have so many regrets about raising my family! I never took my boys on one vacation! I never realized my sons were going to have children. I never saw my sons as adults. God help me to learn and teach we are building families.
His servant, Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com
Be honest what kind of family are you building?
There is a fact I find amazing: when they are young seems abused children love their parents more than those in a healthy home. But watch Doctor Phil and see what abused children remember.
Marriages rates are in decline. Every 13 seconds a marriage ends in divorce. 46,523 divorces per week. Around 50% of first marriages will fail in divorce or separation… 79% of those will remarry again jumping out of the skillet into the fire. 60% of the second marriages will fail? 73% of third marriages will fail. Up to 70% of kids will live in a single parent home.
6/20/20
