Genuine Apology
(Luke 15:18)
1. Two hunters hire a small plane to take them to a remote area of Canada. Upon dropping off the hunters, the pilot tells them, "Remember only one moose, because the plane wouldn't be able to take off with more weight than that." The hunters go off. A week later when the plane returns to pick them up the two hunters are standing by the lake with two moose.
The pilot fumes, "I told you guys only one moose, you'll have to leave one because we won't be able to take off with that much weight." "Oh, c'mon," beg the two hunters, "Last year the pilot let us take two moose on, you're just a chicken."
Not wanting to be accused of being a coward, the pilot allows the two to bring both moose on the craft. The plane starts across the lake, straining to take off. The pilot tries and tries to no avail as they run out of room and the plane crashes into the trees at the end of the lake. A while later after coming to one of the hunters gets up and looks at all the scattered debris of the wreck and says, "Where are we?" To which the other hunter replies, "Oh, I'd say about a hundred yards farther than last year."
2. I think those guys owe the pilot an apology.
3. Many people avoid apologizing because the idea of admitting to wrongdoing makes them terribly uncomfortable. “We all like to view ourselves as good people—as kind, considerate and moral,” says Ryan Fehr, a professor at the University of Washington’s Foster School of Business. “Apologies force us to admit to ourselves that we don’t always live up to our own standards. We might also fear that the victim won’t accept our apology, further compromising our positive sense of self. For these reasons, an apology can be very difficult to give.” [source: https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/recipe-perfect-apology/]
Main idea: Asking for forgiveness is an excellent thing to do when we are genuinely remorseful. The Parable of the Prodigal Son models this.
I. Believers Should Seek Both God’s Forgiveness and the Person (s)’ We WRONGED.
A. “I have sinned against HEAVEN.”
1. The Jews did not pronounce God’s Name, Yahweh, and only rarely used other direct titles for God, like “God.” They would say things like “heaven” or “the Name.”
2. All sins are sins against God. They may not be sins against God alone, but when we sin against others, we also sin against God. God gave 10 commandments, not just the commandments that refer to Him. The two great commandments are loving God and loving our neighbor.
3. What were the Prodigal’s sins against God?
4. Reckless living. His brother said “throwing money away at prostitutes.”
5. Psalm 2:3, “Let us burst their bonds apart and cast away their cords from us.”
B. “I have sinned against YOU” (the individual).
1. What was the Prodigal’s sin toward his dad?
• Disrespect
• Abandonment
• Cold indifference
• He broke his father’s heart
2. One thing to make choices that may be contrary to our parents’ aspirations for us, another to abandon God or to be coldly insensitive.
3. We have to honor our parents, but our parents cannot direct our adult lives.
II. We Must Label Our Wrongs as Sins, Not INNOCENT Mistakes.
A. It is easy to claim we are VICTIMS of circumstance.
1. Criminals in prison will usually say, “I am basically a good person. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
2. Others claim they were programmed through social injustice and inequities or DNA.
3. The most common excuse is to say we were provoked or responding in kind.
B. We must take RESPONSIBILITY for our choices.
1. There may be mitigating circumstances; heredity, environment, previous choices...
2. Our wrong might be in response to other wrongs.
3. I love to watch old time murder mysteries. Often the murder was wronged in some way by the person he or she murdered. Yet taking justice into their own hands was inexcusable.
4. It is so easy to rationalize and justify our sinful behaviors. We all do it at times.
5. The Prodigal did not blame his brother, his parents, our society.
III. We Are Not ENTITLED to Be Forgiven.
A. Although believers are commanded to FORGIVE, it is still a choice.
B. It is better to say “I won’t forgive” than to LIE.
1. Sometimes people need time to process and heal.
2. Sometimes they have to determine the wisdom of restoration.
3. E.g., divorce and adultery...(Matthew 19:9)...
C. When we forgive another, we are being GRACIOUS.
D. Forgiveness is sometimes the initiation of a PROCESS.
IV. The “How to” of ASKING for Forgiveness
A. Confess what you did was wrong, not just a MISTAKE.
B. Make no excuses for your CHOICE.
C. Never say, “If I did something wrong, please forgive me.” There is not real ADMISSION of wrong-doing in such a statement.
D. Say, “What I did was WRONG. Do you think you could forgive me?”
E. Remember, asking forgiveness can DEVELOP you spiritually.
1. It CLEARS your conscience.
2. It could REINVIGORATE your relationship to that person.
3. Importantly, it develops HUMILITY in your character. [College English teacher]33
CONCLUSION
1. Everyone should be good at asking for forgiveness; if needed, practice in an empty room to say, “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”
