Transition Video: You’re Not Listening – Skit Guys!
Our Theme this year - Breakthrough 2020
Thesis: In 2020 we are looking for spiritual breakthroughs in our lives, our relationships, our souls, our families, our church, our school, and our community. This is our vision and prayer! But to get the desired breakthrough in these areas requires us to have 20 – 20 vision from the Lord. We need to see into the spiritual realm and learn how to use His weapons which will bring us the spiritual breakthroughs we seek.
Scripture Texts:
2 Corinthians 10:3-4: “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.”
Philippians 4:19: "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus."
Sermon 3: Breakthrough in Relationships
Thesis: With the inner guiding and power of the Holy Spirit we can learn how to get a breakthrough in bad or strained relationships. Breakthrough is possible in most relationships if we allow the Holy Spirit to teach us key relationship skills. God designed us all to be in relationship with Him and with each other and he will help us get breakthroughs in our relationships if we ask Him for help.
The Bible shares stories upon stories focusing on the importance of real relationships – 1st with God then 2nd with others!
Scripture Texts:
Acts 2:42-47 New International Version (NIV)
The Fellowship of the Believers
42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
Ephesians 3:16, NIV
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,”
??Another NIV version words it this way – “I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.”
Introduction:
Quote Dr. Smalley: “LIFE IS RELATIONSHIPS; THE REST IS JUST DETAILS. THIS IS THE GREATEST TRUTH. EVERYTHING IN LIFE THAT TRULY MATTERS CAN BE BOILED DOWN TO RELATIONSHIPS.”
Dr.’s Les and Leslie Parrot from their book Relationships says this about our crucial subject: “Recently a pioneering band of researchers studied the age-old mystery of what people happy. Their answer is not what you might expect. What appears consistently at the top of the charts is not success, wealth, achievement, good looks, or any of those enviable assets. The clear winner is relationships. Close ones. Nothing reaches so deeply into the human personality, tugs so tightly, as relationships. Why? For one reason, it is only in the context of connection with others that our deepest needs can be met. Whether we like it or not, each of us has an unshakable dependence on others. It’s what philosopher John Donne was getting at when he said so succinctly, “No man is an island” We need camaraderie, affection, love. These are not options in life, or sentimental trimmings; they are part of our species survival kit. We need to belong” (Parrot page 11).
By the way this is why God created the Church – He created it for the development of Relationships – to verify this statement all you need to do is read the book of Acts read the OT and NT and it becomes crystal clear - the Church was established by Jesus to create connection with God and with each other – It’s all about relationships – Yes, it’s primary purpose of church - it is about developing deeper and more meaningful relationships with God and with each other. It’s about doing life together – helping each other - Fellowshipping with each other – connecting with each other.
T.S. - So, it’s imperative we cultivate healthy and whole relationships if we want breakthrough in 2020 – So here are a few ways you can improve the likelihood of having a breakthrough in your relationships in 2020 as modeled for us by Mr. Rogers.
Summary of Sermon 2 from last week!
1. You need to believe that people matter to God – that everyone is special.
* 1 Peter 1:22: Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.
2. When you are talking with some one they are to become the most important thing in the moment.
* Romans 12:10: Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
3. No one is broken beyond repair and even negative situations shape who we are.
* Psalm 51:17: The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart…
* James 1: 2-5: 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
* Genesis 50:20: You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
4. Mentor others seek to make a difference in their life.
* Philippians 2:3-4: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5. Kindness can soften the most broken heart.
* Colossians 3:12-14: 12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
* Ephesians 4:32: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
6. Pray for people by name.
* Colossians 1:9: So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding.
7. Seek to improve yourself by exercise, prayer, and Scripture reading.
• The life of Mr. Rogers impacted 1,000 of people! If not 100,000? Mr. Rogers was devoted Christian man who made a difference for the Kingdom of Heaven.
o Galatians 6:9-10: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
o 2 Thessalonians 3:13: And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.
Summary of Breakthrough in Relationships part 1 – see power point slide!
T.S. - Points to ponder: We need to seek and know God’s truth (we are made to be connected to each other and the Lord) so we need to develop the skills to guide us in having meaningful healthy relationships!
I. We need to commit to growing in our relationship skills and see our relationships through God’s intended design for relationships.
a. Many people will seek to improve their job skills, higher education skills in academics and talents. But few will seek to develop their interpersonal relationship skills today.
i. The Result is broken relationships, strained relationships, divorce, no community involvement, isolation, split churches, division in families and broken homes.
b. The three key relationships in your life according to Dr. Gary Smalley are:
i. With God
ii. With Others
iii. With Yourself
1. See diagrams in power point: ?
a. The different diagrams show what happens if one of these is out of balance!
2. Walk through the diagrams in power point and explain why you added God (spirit), Self (soul) and Others (body).
a. We are designed by God for 3 kinds of relationships! This DNA feature is implanted in all of us by God whether we acknowledge it or not!
b. See diagram from power point:
• Many people don’t really understand how they’re in relationship with all three: Problems arise if any one of these relationships is blown out of proportion or minimized out of proportion:
o Problem 1: When “Self” is either blown up or miniature it impacts our view of self: Warning if your view of self is distorted it will distort the view of others and God.
o Problem 2: When people try to erase “God” out of their relationships it creates a huge problem – because this too will distort your view of self and others. There are some who say they don’t have a relationship with God in our world today --- but they do even if they deny they do.
o Problem 3: When we minimize “Other” relationships or blow them out of proportion this too will distort the other two relationships and cause us problem in these three relationships.
3. Note: A Christian theology, the tripartite view (trichotomy) holds that humankind is a composite of three distinct components: body, spirit, and soul which I adhere too. Here are some of the texts which seem to distinguish between the soul and the spirit, which lead Christians to hold that man has three parts — not only the body and soul, but the body, soul, and spirit [1 Thess. 5:18; Heb. 4:12; 1 Cor. 14:14].
a. Scripture:
i. 1 Thess. 5:23: May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
ii. Hebrews 4:12: For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double–edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
iii. Romans 8:16: 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
iv. 1 Cor. 14:14-17: 14For if I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays, but my mind is unfruitful. 15So what shall I do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will also pray with my mind; I will sing with my spirit, but I will also sing with my mind. 16If you are praising God with your spirit, how can one who finds himself among those who do not understand£ say “Amen” to your thanksgiving, since he does not know what you are saying? 17You may be giving thanks well enough, but the other man is not edified.
v. Got Questions https://www.gotquestions.org/trichotomy-dichotomy.html - notes this about how man relates to others in relationships The Spirit and Soul and The Spirit Soul and Body:
1. “While there are Bible verses that use the terms soul and spirit interchangeably (Matthew 10:28; Luke 1:46–47; 1 Corinthians 5:3; 7:34), other biblical passages do not present the soul and the spirit as precisely the same thing. There are also passages that hint at the separation between the soul and spirit (Romans 8:16; 1 Thessalonians 5:23; Hebrews 4:12). Hebrews 4:12 states, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit.” This verse tells us two things: (1) there is a dividing point between the soul and spirit, and (2) the dividing point is only discernible to God. With all of these verses in mind, neither the dichotomous or trichotomous interpretations can be explicitly proved.”
c. The DNA of Relationships: “What is the DNA of relationships? It is simply the genetic relationship code with which we were created. It’s our relational hardwiring.” From The DNA of Relationships (p. 9). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition. The following points are gleamed and quoted from his book.
i. He states, “Here are some biblical and basic information we need to know about the DNA of relationships – God created us to be in relationships with each other and with Him.”
1. Just read the Bible and this becomes clear!
ii. Smalley notes, “You are created to need relationships. You are made with the capacity to choose.”
1. “You can’t always choose your relationships, but you can choose how you will act in those relationships.”
a. Will you choose to forgive or hate?
b. Will you choose to break off relationships or mend relationships?
i. Did you hear this – you can choose how to react in a relationship – you can choose to run away from a relationship or heal a relationship!
2. Gary Smalley states:
a. “The truth is, we do have a choice.” Actually, we have lots of choices in our relationships.
b. Will you choose to stay stuck in a relationship—or will you determine to work through the problem areas?
c. Will you choose to hold on to your resentment—or will you choose to face that resentment and find freedom from it?
d. Will you choose to hurt the other person when he or she hurts you—or will you choose to look beyond the hurt to the deeper problem—possibly one in yourself?
e. Will you choose to run when a relationship gets sticky—or will you choose to honor the relationship by facing the problem?
f. Will you choose to look at yourself through a distorted lens—or will you choose to see yourself as God sees you?
3. In counseling people from across the country, I am constantly amazed at how powerful it is when a person makes a choice.” The DNA of Relationships (p. 13). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Kindle Edition.
d. Smalley’s thoughts from last week’s message and a summary from sermon 1 on relationships - highlight the points from two weeks ago and then focus on, “Put yourself in the picture.”
i. “When you see yourself in the same “frame” as the other person, you begin to see yourself as part of the problem as well as part of the solution.”
ii. This is all about empathy for others!
1. Kaitlyn from her book shares another study by Phillips states, “In 2018 a corporate psychological assessment company called PsychTests.com measured the self-reported empathy of more than nine thousand people. Then, a group of researchers compared those scores with the respondents’ performance level in thirty-one different abilities. The people who scored higher in empathy also scored much higher in reading body language, conflict-resolution skills, resilience, and standing by their values. “If there is one emotional intelligence skill that we would recommend developing, it’s definitely empathy,” Ilona Jerabek, president of PsychTests, said at the time. “Empathetic people are happier, more self-aware, self-motivated, and optimistic. They cope better with stress, assert themselves when it is required, and are comfortable expressing their feelings. There was only one scale where non-empathetic people scored higher: Need for Approval.”
a. The future of feeling, building empathy in tech obsessed world - 2020 by Kaitlin Ugolik Phillips
2. Empathy – is a skill we need to learn if we want healthy relationships.
a. Illustration: Share the story line from Monk the TV show and the episode of “Monk goes to the Circus.”
e. He also notes, “Get God’s lens for a healthy view of your relationships.”
i. “Only when you see your relationships through an accurate lens—God’s lens—can you see others as he sees them and see yourself as he sees you. That lens is the basis for healthy relationships.”
1. From The DNA of Relationships (p. 16). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition.
II. While persevering and working hard are keys for a breakthrough in your relationships, working hard is not enough we need God’s help.
a. You need to be working hard in the right ways and yes with the right skills- but you must have a mindset which allows the Holy Spirit to teach you through your relationships.
i. We must be guided by The Holy Spirit if we want a relationship breakthrough.
1. Listen carefully - If you are doing the wrong things, it doesn’t matter how long or how hard you do those things it will never heal or restore a relationship.
a. John 8:31-32, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
b. James 1:25, “But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”
i. So, if you want a relationship and spiritual breakthrough, you have to know the truth and then work hard to obey the truths revealed by the Holy Spirit.
b. If you want a relationship breakthrough, maybe you need to address some of your character issues that are hindering your ability to interact well with others.
i. How can you correct this?
1. Be honest with yourself – listen to the Holy Spirit
a. You have to let the Word of God convict and correct you and then work on those areas with God’s help.
i. Do you want a spiritual breakthrough?
1. Then quit believing unbiblical lies of: unforgiveness – I can choose to not forgive her! I am done with this relationship because they did something I did not like!
2. You have to first know the truth, believe the truth, and then obey the truth. If you do this then you will eventually experience the spiritual breakthrough you seek.
ii. We must seek the Lord with all of our heart if we want to see a relationship and spiritual breakthrough.
1. 2 Corinthians 3:16-17 states, “But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
2. Jeremiah 29:13 explains, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
a. One author stated, “When we seek the Lord with all of our being, he will open the doors he wants open and he will close the doors he wants closed. But whether we receive the breakthrough we want or not, when we are fully connected to God we will have everything we really need. Without God no breakthrough will be truly a breakthrough. The greatest breakthrough of all is when we finally realize God is the ultimate treasure we need (for relationships breakthroughs).” https://applygodsword.com/3-ways-to-have-a-relationship-breakthrough/
Conclusion:
Smalley adds, “Life is relationships; the rest is just details. God made you for relationships. You can’t change that. You can work either with or against this DNA, but you can’t choose whether it exists. The only choice you have is whether you will work to make those relationships great or allow them to cause you—and others—great pain.” The DNA of Relationships (p. 15). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Kindle Edition.
Question: What do we need to know from this message?
Answer: Our culture and society is becoming less and less relational and the cry of loneliness is increasing as church attendance is decreasing. We need to get a picture of God’s DNA design for relationships!
Question: What do we need to do in light of this trend?
Answer: Therefore, we have to work at being more relational with each other – learn relationship skills – we need to work on connecting with each other face to face. We need to embrace God’s design for relationships.
Question: Why do we need to do this?
Answer: If we don’t change and seek to connect with each other and with God we will just become more and more lonely, more and more depressed and more isolated and this leads to greater societal problems. If we embrace God’s DNA design for relationships and grow ion them we will make strained and bad relationships better and in turn create healthy relationships with others.
