Greet One Another
Series: The One Anothers: The Church’s “Body Builders”
Chuck Sligh
June 12, 2022
BLURB: Did you ever attend a church and did not feel welcome? This should be a preposterous possibility if you understand God’s design for the church. Yet it is not. This is why Paul commands us to “Greet one another” in Romans 16:16 and other places. This sermon is a reminder that our churches are meant to be places of warmth and worship.
NOTE: A PowerPoint presentation is available for this sermon by request at chucksligh@hotmail.com. Please mention the title of the sermon and the Bible text to help me find the sermon in my archives.
TEXT: Romans 16:16 – “Greet one another with a holy kiss. The churches of Christ greet you.”
Adapted from Melvin Newland's sermon "Be Generous with your Greetings" on SermonCentral.com.
INTRODUCTION
I came across a little ditty that went like this:
Some go to church to laugh and talk, and some go there to walk the walk.
Some go to church to meet a friend, and some go there an hour to spend.
Some go to church to find a bride, and some go there a fault to hide.
Some go to church to celebrate, and some go there to agitate.
Some go to church to doze and nod, but the wise go there to worship God.
One of the most important functions of the local church is worship Most of what we usually call worship could be described as “vertical” worship, where we LIFT UP our voices in praise and prayer and song to our wonderful God. But there’s also a “horizontal” dimension to worship in which we REACH OUT in fellowship to those around us in corporate, unified worship to God TOGETHER.
Acts 2:42 says of the early believers: “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching (horizontal) and to the fellowship (both horizontal and vertical because 1 John tells us that we have fellowship with one another because we have fellowship with the Father), to the breaking of bread (horizontal) and to prayer (vertical).”
Now the word “fellowship” has as its basic meaning the idea of SHARING with one another, of SERVING one another, of our RELATIONSHIP with one another. Which is why we’ve been in a series on the “One Anothers” of the New Testament.
So far in our series, we’ve talked about how Paul says we’re “members of one another”—so we should be attached to a church body to grow and serve together. We’ve also looked at the first two “One Another” commands: to LOVE one another; and to BE LIKEMINDED with one another.
This morning I want to call your attention to Romans 16:16 where the Apostle Paul says, “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” I’d like to answer two questions about this passage today:
I. FIRST, WHAT DOES PAUL MEAN BY THIS “ONE ANOTHER” COMMAND? – We can best understand what Paul is teaching us by analyzing this command’s two parts separately:
1. First, Paul commands us to “greet one another...”
The word greet is an active command verb. In other words, it implies that YOU should take the initiative, not for you to expect OTHERS to greet you. Sometimes people come to church and hunker down in their seats and wait for someone to come and greet THEM.
If you’re one of those people, you’ve got it backwards. Paul says for YOU to take the initiative. He says for YOU to greet one another.
Sometimes people attend or join a church and they never quite fit in. They’re waiting for others to be friendly with them.
But Proverbs 18:24 says it’s the other way around, where we read: “A man who has friends must show himself friendly….” So, the best way to make friends when you join a church is for YOU to invite people over or YOU to invite them out for a meal together.
Now you realize, of course, that there are some people who expect—even demand—the attention of others. In Luke 11, Jesus discusses the Pharisees, who always seemed to get it wrong. Describing them, Jesus says, “They walk around the marketplace all dressed up in fine robes. They look so dignified, and they expect a greeting.”
You see, there are some people who seem to say, “Well, here I am. Everybody notice ME!”—and there are others who seem to be saying by their spirit and attitude, “THERE you are. I’ve noticed YOU.” The PHARISEES were “HERE I AM” people and JESUS was a “THERE YOU ARE” person who was really concerned about others.
In Matthew 5, He said, “Don’t just love your own or those who love you and who are nice to you. Why, even the pagans and tax collectors do that.” And James said, “Never show partiality. When the rich come, don’t give them the best seats in the house. Treat everybody the same.” – In fact, James even said, “If you show partiality to people, you’re sinning.” So, no matter one’s station or condition, no matter where one is in his or her spiritual journey, when you see people, be a “THERE YOU ARE!” person and greet them with love and enthusiasm.
2. Next, Paul says we’re to greet one another “...with a holy kiss.”
Now I know some of you tough solders are getting the heebie-jeebies about now. You’re saying, “Pastor, I ain’t kissin’ NOBODY but my spouse and kids either at church or otherwise!”
Well, don’t get your boxers in a bunch just yet, okay?—Listen carefully… A “holy kiss” was the normal way to greet a person of the same sex in Paul’s day and is still practiced in many cultures today (such as Jews, Arabs, Persians, etc.). The word “holy” means that there are no sexual overtones in this kind of greeting. It’s the “side peck” you see in some cultures.
Illus. – Every time I go to the Munich Airport, I observe this. I often see Middle Easterners or Italians or Greeks debark from flights. As they do, it’s customary for them to kiss one another on the cheek.
Paul isn’t mandating a certain STYLE of greeting here. His emphasis was not on the FORM of greeting, but that it be HOLY and that it be a SINCERE form of greeting. He’s teaching that we should greet people without partiality, and it should be sincere and heartfelt. So, a handshake in our culture perfectly fits the idea Paul is emphasizing since that’s how we greet one another in our culture in a warm and sincere way.
II. THE SECOND QUESTION ABOUT OUR TEXT WE WANT TO CONSIDER THIS MORNING IS, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GREET ONE ANOTHER THIS WAY?
Paul’s command in verse 16 is actually the culmination of a passage where Paul demonstrates sincere and heartfelt greetings which actually involve no physical contact at all in verses 3-15. In these verses, Paul used the Greek word for “GREET” 16 separate times, greeting by name 26 specific individuals or groups. So, Paul shows us how to greet one another by example, and from this passage we learn three positive things that happen when we greet one another in a sincere way.
1. First, when you greet people sincerely and generously, you ACKNOWLEDGE THEM. – Verses 3-7: “Greet Priscilla and Aquila my fellow workers in Christ Jesus: 4 Who…for my life risked their own necks: to whom not only do I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles. 5 Also greet the church…in their house. Greet my beloved Epaenetus, who is the first convert to Christ in Asia. 6 Greet Mary, who worked hard for us. 7 Greet Andronicus and Junia, my fellow Jews, and fellow prisoners, who well-known among the apostles, who also were in Christ before me.”
In studying this passage, I learned that about half of the people in this list are either slaves or women—people who had very little influence or power in that day. So, Paul isn’t name-dropping here; he’s not saying, “Here are all these important people I know, and I want you to be nice to them.” No, he’s naming common, ordinary people. He’s saying by example: “Make THEM feel welcome. Reach out to THEM.”
That’s exactly what the church needs to do—maybe more now than at any other time in the history of the church. We’re living in a society where the family has experienced dramatic changes. The average family was once defined as “a husband and wife with 2.5 children who lived in a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, and cooked hamburgers in the backyard on Saturday afternoons.” But today we have to take into account single parents with children.
And in our transient society, families often move from one city to another—a fact even more true of military families that move every two or three years. When people move to a new community and a new job and a new neighborhood, they often find it hard to find community and fellowship. They go to work and may make some friends there, but it’s a “dog eat dog” world, and fellow workers don’t always share the same values.
Then they come to church…and what do they find? Is it any different at church? Some churches are exclusive and self-centered—folks just talking to people they know and like, doing exactly what Paul teaches not to do.
Beloved, more than any other place on earth, church should be a place that is welcoming and friendly to guests; a place that is God-centered first and foremost, and OTHERS-centered second. When you come to church, it’s easy to just talk to people you know well or share your same interests. But the Bible teaches us that we’re not to show partiality, but to be open to all, even to those who are strangers to us.
Do you think our church is warm and friendly and welcoming? When people visit our church, what do you think their impression is of our church? Do we seem to be saying, “THERE you are! We’re GLAD you’re here. We hope you’ll want to come again and again. We WANT you here. You’re special, not only in God’s sight, but also in ours. We care about you and your family and want to share God’s love with you.”
Whether that’s the way we’re perceived or not depends on the degree to which ALL OF US at Grace reach out to guests and regular members who are lonely and struggling and greet them with sincerity and warmth. It’s not a job for just the door greeters, ushers, and the pastor and his wife.
Paul says we’re to greet one another—not just your friends, not just those in a homegroup or Bible study you attend, not just people of high rank—but those NOT in your ordinary group of close friends, those in OTHER small groups, the low-ranked, the poor, single parents—EVERYONE.
You see, “greeting one another” is more than just a handshake. It’s looking at someone and saying, “In my book, you count. You’re worth something. I’d like to spend more time with you—to get to know you.” That’s acknowledging people…and greeting people sincerely.
2 . Second, when we greet one another in the way Paul teaches, we COMMEND PEOPLE. – Look at the first two verses in Romans 16 where Paul says, “I commend to you Phoebe, our sister, who is a servant of the church which is at Cenchrea: 2 That you receive her in the Lord, in a manner worthy of the saints, and that ye assist her in whatever she needs: for she has been a helper of many,…myself included.”
Now what is Paul doing?—He’s commending Phoebe’s character and testimony. Notice what he says.—He says, “She’s our sister in the Lord. She’s a servant of the church. She’s helped a lot of people—even me. So, I commend her to you.”
What Paul is doing is showing respect; honoring this person; edifying her, which means “building her up.” We have the power with our words to either enhance or to hurt.
And notice that Paul’s commendation is open, public praise. Some people think that if we honor or lift up any believer on this earth, we’re robbing God of His glory. That is hardly the case.
Illus. – If you faithfully train your children and teach them good behavior and impart to them respect and good habits, believe me, people will notice! So, suppose someone comes to you and says, “Your children are so respectful and well behaved.”
What would your response be? Would you get in a huff and say, “I beg your pardon! Don’t you give credit to THEM! Doggone it, it was ME and my spouse who trained these kids night and day; who taught them tirelessly how to behave; who worked ceaselessly on their character development. Why are you honoring THEM?”
No, you wouldn’t respond that way. You would just beam with pride because any credit or honor of exemplary behavior that goes to them is a reflection of you and your work and your faithfulness and your care. And I believe that when we publicly honor people for their godly deeds and character, God beams with pride in HIS handiwork and HE receives glory from their honor and recognition.
So, when we greet people who have done good things and commend them for those things, we encourage them and ultimately bring glory to God.
3 . Third, when we greet one another with genuine sincerity, we EXPRESS AFFECTION. – Notice again what Paul says in verse 16: “Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
Again, don’t get sidetracked by the kissing part. As I said, a kiss was a common and accepted greeting in that day and culture. In our culture men and women shake hands or women often hug each other and sometimes with the big things, we men will bear-hug another guy. But notice that no matter how we feel comfortable giving a heartfelt greeting—whether a warm handshake or a gentle hug—human touch is involved.
You see, the need for human touch is as real today as it’s ever been. Jesus knew that, so He reached out and touched the UNTOUCHABLES. He touched the LEPERS.—NOBODY touched lepers. He touched KIDS—Folks didn’t have much time for kids in those harsh days. He even reached out and touched TAX-COLLECTORS, one of the most despised classes of people back then.
And we have untouchables in our society, too—addicts, prostitutes, the poor and needy—those who yearn for human touch that has no selfish or sinful motivations, and seldom if ever receive it. We need to learn how to express sincere affection in a physical yet holy way that communicates our love and concern for others.
CONCLUSION
A. Well, what can we take away from this sermon today?
B. Let me share three practical applications for each of us this morning:
1. First, let me challenge each of you to become permanent church greeters—every week!
I don’t mean being a greeter at the door or being on an organized schedule (although we need volunteers for that too), but one who greets one another every Sunday in an informal, friendly way ON YOUR OWN.
I’d like to challenge you not to come to church and plop down in a seat and wait to be ministered to by others, but to come to church every Sunday with the intention of ministering and serving in the ministry of heartfelt, holy greeting.
I’d like to challenge you not to come to church at the last moment or arrive late, but to purposely come 15-30 minutes early and greet folks around the building. Not just a casual greeting that does little more than say “hi,” but a greeting that says, “THERE you are! I care about you; I want to get to know you better; I want us to be friends, not mere acquaintances.”
I’d like to challenge you not to sit down and wait for the service to begin, but once you put your Bible and coat in your seat, to be UP AND ABOUT, greeting and loving on people and asking them how their week went and asking about their children, and their jobs and their promotions and their health. In other words, greeting in a heartfelt, sincere way.
I’d like you to especially watch for guests to our church. As they enter the sanctuary, go to them and welcome them and ask them if you can help them with anything or answer any questions they have. If someone beats you to it, go back later and go over and ask where they’re from, what unit they’re in, how they like Germany so far. Tell them with a big smile how much you appreciate their visiting us at Grace.
2. My second challenge is for you to show impartiality as you greet one another.
Obviously, this means being welcoming to folks regardless of who they are, what their rank or station or race or color, or what circles they run in.
But it also means that you should try to greet people outside your regular circle of friends within the church to prevent cliques—people you don’t know as well in the church; people who attend a different Bible study or small group study.
Illus. – I remember two best friends in our church in Wiesbaden who were literally inseparable. I used to tease them, saying they were joined at the hip because they did everything together—and that was a GOOD thing.
But someone told them they thought they were cliquish and they certainly didn’t want to be that way. They wanted to be inclusive and welcoming, so they made a pact between themselves that on Sunday at church, they would cordially greet one another, but they would visit with others and chat and get to know others. Their desire was to greet people in a heartfelt, sincere way, especially those who were less well-known, more shy, prone to loneliness, and those who were discouraged or downhearted.
I know the Lord will reward them for that unselfish, loving attitude. May we ALL be that way EVERY Sunday.
3. My last application is this: If you’re here this morning and you don’t know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, we invite you to accept Him today.
Jesus gave the best welcome of all when He said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and…heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
Many times, the Bible gives a hearty welcome into the kingdom of God. But you must come His way—through Jesus—by faith in Jesus who paid your penalty for sin by dying on the cross and rising from the dead—not by your good life, or religion, or obeying the Ten Commandments, or doing religious deeds.
If you’d like to know more about accepting Christ’s invitation to have your sins forgiven, I invite you to set up an appointment with me this week or pull me aside to talk about it after church. Nothing would thrill me more than to explain to you in greater detail of Jesus’s open arms of welcome into His kingdom.
