“Unnecessary Burdens”
Colossians 2:6-19
A friend of mine told me about a time he was counseling a teenage girl.
She was depressed and contemplating suicide.
She was filled with self-hatred and used to cut herself.
At one point in the conversation, my friend stood up, pulled a Cross off the wall in his office, looked the young lady in the eyes and said: “Look at this. Just look at this. This is how much God loves you! This is how important you are.”
Have you ever experienced self-hatred.
It can be mild or extreme.
It influences a person’s thoughts, the choices they make, the actions they take, the boyfriends or girlfriends they select, and the relationships they create.
In our culture self-hatred is epidemic, experts say that it affects almost everyone to some degree—even those who are able to do a really good job of hiding it under a covering of success or looking good.
Living with self-hatred is like living with an inner bully.
The bully criticizes and judges constantly, making us feel worthless, bad, ugly, disgusting, fat, mean, strange, not good enough or like a failure.
The inner bully also convinces us that people around us view us the same way, and that God views us the same way as well.
This can lead to anxiety, depression.
It’s been said that “self-hatred is the hidden underbelly of all the violence and nastiness in the world.”
And I think there is real truth to that.
But where does it come from?
And what can we do about it?
In our Scripture Passage for this morning Paul is confronting some kind of false teaching which has infiltrated the young church and caused the folks to question their relationship with God and wonder if they are “good enough” in God’s eyes.
Somebody, or some group of folks have messed up these people’s minds telling them that what Jesus did on the Cross is not enough.
In order to truly be loved and accepted by God they must perform certain tasks, follow certain laws.
And this kind of stuff can be very believable.
It’s easy to fall prey to it.
Just take a look at how many cults there are and have been and the damage these things have done to human beings.
Or how about churches that teach a very unhealthy and distorted understanding of God and God’s grace and love.
Paul writes: “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceitful philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ…”
“Don’t let anyone judge you by…the written code…by what you eat or drink…”
“Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!
These rules…are based on human commands…
They have the appearance of wisdom with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value…”
As Christians, it often seems like we are trying to add more and more stuff to try and make God love us…
“Don’t say that.”
“You gotta do this.”
“You gotta do that.”
But in our Scripture Passage from Colossians Paul is saying that this is terribly destructive and is a deceptive teaching, not based on Christ, but on “the elemental forces of this world.”
And if we “fall” for this stuff, we will be “taken captive” by it.
I remember in college, feeling so bad about my inability to “measure up” to what I thought Christianity was about.
I felt like I was a person living in the hands of an “angry god” and I had to act and do things in a certain way in order to please this “angry god.”
But I kept falling short.
And every time I fell short I became more and more discouraged.
And with that discouragement came depression, guilt, hopelessness, a general feeling of unhappiness…
…and self-hatred.
It’s like I thought there were a whole long list of rules and regulations that I needed to follow in order to be on God’s side, in order for God to love me, in order to be saved.
It’s as if God’s love is conditional rather than unconditional.
I saw God as moralistic and judgmental; concerned with the externals.
“Don’t do this, don’t think that!”
And so, I felt lost, in bondage.
There seemed to be no way out.
Have you ever felt this way?
Perhaps you feel this way now?
Maybe you imagine God looking down on you with a disgusted sneer.
Or even worse, perhaps you feel as if God has given up on you—turned His back on you.
Do you feel as if you are not good enough?
Have you missed the mark?
Has your train derailed?
Does a bit of self-hatred follow your every move…or does it even lead you, like an evil master?
Self-hatred is not only destructive to us it can cause us to transfer our own bad feelings onto other people as a way to not feel so bad about ourselves.
One person might make a biting remark about the other person’s driving.
And if the other person hears this as blame, it may trigger his or her inner critic.
Then, to defend against feeling like a bad self, and to ward off the inner critic or bully he or she in turn tries to make the other person wrong or bad: “Why are you always so critical?”
And then the other person responds: “Why are you always so defensive?”
This is what couples do all the time—tossing the sense of badness back and forth like a hot potato.
Does it sound familiar?
No wonder we become so focused in on being “right,” even if it destroys our connection.
Being right is a way of trying to deflect criticism, with its crippling self-hatred and shame.
It’s always very sad to see two people who love each other going at each other this way.
Greed also grows out of a lack of self-love.
Under the feeling of “I don’t have enough,” lies an even deeper sense of “I’m not good enough.”
Likewise, jealousy comes from our lack of confidence in being loved or lovable.
Self-centeredness, arrogance, and pride are failed attempts to make ourselves important or special, to make up for an underlying fear that we don’t really matter much at all.
Yeah, I’ve felt that way.
Sometimes I still do.
But you know what Paul says in our Scripture passage for this morning?
“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”
The verb translated as “live” is literally “walk.”
Which means a way of life.
“Just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to walk with him.”
Follow Him, not the deceptive judgments we throw at ourselves or that others throw at us!
Writing to Christians who are hearing from others that their spiritual “walk” is lacking in some way, Paul takes them back to the beginning of their life in Christ and says: “You lack nothing!”
“When you were dead in your sins…God made you alive with Christ.
He forgave us our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.”
That is how much God loves you!
That is how much you are worth!
Don’t let anyone judge you and do not judge yourselves!!!
You can’t do a thing to make God love you more; you can’t do a thing to make God love you less.
Let go of that paralyzing self-hatred and learn to love yourself and others just as God has loves you!!!
And isn’t that the key to it all?
One day, as I was walking across my college campus—feeling especially bad about myself and convinced that I could never measure up to God’s high standards I happened into the college record store.
And from the speakers I heard Billy Joel singing: “I love you just the way you are.”
And at that moment, I felt like God was speaking to me saying, “Ken, stop beating yourself up.
I created you.
I know you better than you know yourself.
I know what makes you tick and why it makes you tick.
And I love you just the way you are, sins, short-comings, quirks, and all!
So, get over your self-hatred, and accept my love for you.
And learn to love yourself and others as a result!”
In Matthew 11:29-30 Jesus says this: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Don’t take on any unnecessary burdens, and don’t allow anyone to convince you that the Cross of Christ is not enough.
Paul gives us the strongest possible reason to resist self-hatred, human condemnation or disqualification:
“Do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day.
These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.”
“The REALITY, however, is found in Christ.”
Feeling as if we are not worthy, that we are not good enough, listening to that inner-bully of self-hate are all symptoms of not knowing we are loved.
The REALITY, however, is that WE ARE LOVED—LOVED BEYOND MEASURE—with no qualifications.
Do you believe this?
Have you accepted God’s love for you?
Do you know that Jesus Christ has nailed all your sins and short-comings to the Cross—erasing them, wiping them clean and leaving no trace nor any list of IOUs or unpaid debts.
If so, live into it!
Let it bring you to life.
If you don’t know this, pray that you will know.
In Jesus’ name and for His sake.
Amen.
