Sermon 4: From Pleasant to Bitter
Series: Ruth
Chuck Sligh
July 7, 2019
[PROP: Find a pebble for object lesson in point III. Make sure it’s big enough for all to see.]
NOTE: A PowerPoint presentation is available for this sermon by request at chucksligh@hotmail.com. Please mention the title of the sermon and the Bible text to help me find the sermon in my archives.
TEXT: Ruth 1:19-22 – “So they two went until they came to Bethlehem. And it came to pass, when they were come to Bethlehem, that all the city was stirred because of them, and they said, ‘Is this Naomi?” 20 And she said unto them, ‘Call me not Naomi, call me Mara: for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. 21 I went out full, and the LORD has brought me home again empty. Why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the LORD has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?’ 22 So Naomi returned, and Ruth, the Moabitess, her daughter in law, with her, who returned from the country of Moab. And they came to Bethlehem in the beginning of barley harvest.”
NOTE: A PowerPoint presentation is available for this sermon by request at chucksligh@hotmail.com. Please mention the title of the sermon and the Bible text to help me find the sermon in my archives.
INTRODUCTION
Illus. – I had an aunt whose husband died when they were in their late 50s. They had been looking forward to retiring in a few more years. But after he died, she discovered that he had left her in a terrible financial state. He never had been a good money handler, but because he handled all the finances for the family, the extent of his malfeasance only became apparent after his death.
She became furious with him for leaving her in a condition that made her have to work later in life and not be able to retire when she had planned. She had years of loans he had made without her knowledge she had to pay off. He had medical insurance, but there were thousands of dollars not covered by his insurance because he had made a foolish choice in the insurance he chose.
This anger at my uncle turned into a seething resentment, which in time turned into bitterness—first against HIM, and later against GOD. I heard her say several times, “Why did God do this to me? It’s not fair.” Sadly, her bitterness toward her husband and God influenced her relationships. She had become a not happy person to be around anymore!
My aunt, who has since passed away, was an illustration of the danger of doing what Naomi does in our story—blaming our circumstances on God and becoming bitter against Him. Notice three things from our text:
I. FIRST NOTE THAT GOD HAD ALLOWED SOME BAD THINGS TO HAPPEN IN NAOMI’S LIFE.
Earlier in Ruth 1, we learned that Naomi’s husband died, and then her two sons died. A woman without a man to support and protect her was in a precarious position in that day, especially being in a foreign land, far away from relatives. So, we see that God allowed some deep trials in Ruth’s life.
Why does God allow trials in our lives?—I can think of four reasons.
First are what I would call “consequential trials,” that is, those that are the harvest of our own actions.
Paul said in Galatians 6:7 – “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap.”
Trials of this nature are not necessarily God’s direct judgment or special hand on a person. It’s simply that life’s decisions have consequences based on certain moral laws God has set in place. This is the predominant theme of the book of Proverbs. Proverbs says over and over again: Act in good and godly ways and certain rewards and blessings are the outcome of that lifestyle, and vice versa: if you act in unrighteous and unwise ways, there are certain consequences that can be expected.
• For instance, if you are sexually immoral, you will have at least a guilty conscience, you may damage or destroy your marriage and you may event contract a sexually transmitted disease.
• If you go deep into debt and do not save for a rainy day, you may find yourself in a deep financial crisis.
• Teens, if you’re promiscuous before marriage, you may find yourself facing a teenage pregnancy
These kinds of things are not God’s fault or directs action on His part. If we make wrong choices, we’ll experience the natural consequences of those choices. We can hardly place the blame for these things at God’s feet since we are the authors of our own autobiographies.
Second, are trials that I would call “corrective trials,” that is, trials God allows as discipline to correct a sin or wrong habit in our lives.
If we do not take care of sin or sinful habits through confession, God wants to put us back on the right road, and He does so by disciplining us.
Look with me at Hebrews 12:5-6 – “And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaks to you as…sons, ‘My son, do not despise the discipline of the Lord, or be discouraged when you are rebuked by him: 6 For whom the Lord loves, he disciplines, and chastises every son whom he receives.”
You see, God loves us too much to allow us to continue in actions that will harm us, so He lovingly allows trials in our lives to cause us to examine ourselves and take actions to change our behavior and attitudes. What is the result?—Look at verse 11 – “Now no discipline for the present is pleasant, but painful: nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those which are trained by it.”
Third is what I call “constructive trials”—trials God allows in our lives to make us better people, to build His character in us or to make us be more dependent on Him.
Psalm 119:67 says, “Before I was afflicted, I went astray: but now I keep thy word.”
And the psalmist tells us in Psalm 119:71 – “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.”
A New Testament illustration is expressed by Paul in Romans 5:3-5a – “And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation works perseverance; 4 And perseverance, character; and character hope: 5 And hope does not disappoint…” How do we get all those good things? Well, I hate to tell you, but they come through tribulations and trials.
Lastly, are what I call “crowning trials”—trials God allows just to bring glory to His name and accomplish His glorious purposes.
LAZARUS’S death is an example of this. It was sad that Lazarus died. But God allowed it so that Jesus could raise him from the dead, revealing His power and Jesus’ deity.
JOB is another example of one who was afflicted to bring glory to God by teaching us about trials through the book of Job. This is something we may chafe at. We recoil from the idea of suffering to accomplish some good purpose. But our attitude changes the more we know God and the more we want to serve His purposes and be a participant in His Kingdom on earth.
In 2 Corinthians 4, Paul details a quick list of all the suffering he has endured to serve God—troubles, distresses, perplexity and persecution. Does he resent it? No!—He says in verse 17, “For our light affliction, which is only for a moment, is achieving for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.” What a powerful way to live!
We don’t know for sure which of these reasons God allowed Naomi to suffer the tribulations she did. Her problems could have been the direct consequence of her and her husband’s decision to move away from the house of bread and praise to the pagan, worldly land of Moab. If so, she had no one to blame for her troubles but herself and her husband. But she didn’t see it that way.
II. NOTE NEXT HOW NAOMI DEVELOPED A WRONG VIEW OF GOD’S DEALINGS IN HER LIFE – Verse 13b – “…for it grieves me much for your sakes that the hand of the LORD is turned against me.”
Now that’s almost a blasphemous thing to say, isn’t it? If her trials were “consequential” in nature—that is, the consequences of her and Elimalech’s decisions—it wasn’t the Lord’s hand that was against her; she was living out the consequences of bad choices. If they were God’s discipline on specific sins or sin patterns in her life, then they were really a good thing meant to bring her back into God’s will and fellowship. Whatever the reason, God always uses our trials for a good purpose in our lives, as we will see later.
My point is that no matter what the reason for her trials, her anger against God was misplaced and the result of a heart not resting in God’s goodness.
Look now at verse 20 – “And she said to them, ‘Call me not Naomi, call me Mara: for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.”
What did she mean by this? Remember that the meaning of names was more important in ancient society than today, and in the book of Ruth, the meaning of names is essential to understand the book. Naomi means “pleasant” while Mara means “bitter.” So, she was saying, in effect, “Don’t call me PLEASANT anymore. Call me the opposite of that—BITTER—because I am just a bitter old woman!”
Why was she was telling everyone to call her Bitter instead of Pleasant?—She tells us at the end of verse 20 through verse 21– “…for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me. 21 I went out full, and the LORD hath brought me home again empty: why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the LORD hath testified against me, and the Almighty hath afflicted me?”
Naomi had become bitter against God. She was questioning God’s goodness and wisdom in His dealings with her—“Why did God do this to me? I don’t deserve this. He’s got a vendetta against me.” Now before you judge Naomi too harshly, let’s be honest and admit that, though we may not have had the level of resentment as Naomi did, probably most of us have also questioned the Lord’s dealings in our lives at one time or another.
But to do so is to look at our trials through the eyes of unbelief. In the end the Lord has a purpose in what He wants to accomplish in our lives, and trials are the tools God uses to mold and form us.
Just as with a diamond in the rough, where the craftsman must take sharp tools to chip away the rock growing around the diamond to reveal its glorious beauty, so must God, the Master-Craftsman use trials to chip away the things in our lives that do not conform to His character and will in our lives.
Jofrey Bustamante, in a sermon titled Let the Pain Remain!, said, “There is a Chinese proverb, ‘A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man made better without trials.’ Sure it doesn't feel good to go through abrasive moments of trials and problems. Sometimes they are recurring. Remember this…life is full of rubbing shoulders and exchanging words. Every time life would seem to cut you and grind you, it means God is working in you to make you a better you.”
III. NOTE THIRD THAT NAOMI’S BITTERNESS AGAINST GOD WAS BAD FOR HER – Verse 19b – “… And it came to pass, when they were come to Bethlehem, that all the city was moved about them, and they said, Is this Naomi?”
The people were shocked! The last person they expected after all these years was Naomi! I’m sure some of the surprise was in how she had aged. But I wonder if something else is intimated here: Doctors tell us that bitterness bitter people clinch and grind their teeth, resulting in a characteristic hard-set of the jaw, and angry looking wrinkle lines we often sometimes see with bitter people.
Whatever the reason for their surprise in seeing Naomi, notice Naomi’s cynical view of God in verse 21 – “‘…for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. 21 I went out full, and the LORD has brought me home again empty. Why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the LORD has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?’”
Naomi had developed a pessimistic mindset where she saw only bad in her circumstances. The truth was that she did NOT return empty. She had Ruth, HER GREATEST ASSET! But that’s what bitterness does: it blurs your vision to God’s goodness and blessings.
Object Lesson with pebble [ACT OUT]: Each trouble we experience is like a pebble:
• Hold it too close to your eye and it fills the whole world and puts everything out of focus.
• Hold it at proper viewing distance, and it can be examined and evaluated in a more reasonable and accurate perspective.
• Throw it at your feet, and it can be seen in its true setting: just one more bump on the pathway to eternity.
Now let me say that we have no right to judge Ruth too harshly, because I doubt that anyone here has our spouse and two of our kids. It would be hard for that not to deeply affect you at some level, at least for a while. It would be easy to question God. But in the end, God calls us to trust Him in the midst of loss and grief and pain and trial.
Illus. – Jim Moore wrote a book titled You Can Grow Bitter or You Can Grow Better. He writes that he got the idea for the title from a young woman who once came to him in a most tragic moment in her life. She had tears in her eyes and her knuckles were white as she twisted a handkerchief. She had just received word that her twenty-six year old husband had been killed in a farming accident, leaving her alone with three pre-school age kids. One moment he was alive and vibrant, the next moment, he was gone! She sobbed, “I don’t know how I am going to be able to get along without him. But I do know one thing. I can either get bitter or I can get better.”
In your times of sorrow or trial, you too have two choices: You can either grow bitter or you can grow better.
CONCLUSION
Don’t fall into the “Naomi Trap” by becoming bitter against God for His dealings in your life! Let me share some things with you to help you if that’s where you are now, or in the future:
First, remember that if you’re facing great problems and trials as a believer, you are in good company.
The Bible is replete with good people who went through awful trials:
• MOSES suffered from chronic grumbling and opposition from the Israelites.
• JOSEPH was sold into slavery by his own brothers; falsely accused by an evil temptress; and imprisoned on false charges.
• JOB, the most righteous man on earth in his day, lost EVERYTHING—his belongings, his children, and his health.
• DAVID was bedeviled by troubles and opposition from the moment he was anointed king until his death.
• The OLD TESTAMENT PROPHETS were persecuted mercilessly.
• JESUS was hounded His whole ministry by hostility and was finally executed.
• The apostles faced many trials and persecutions.
No wonder Peter says 1 Peter 4:14, “Beloved, do not be surprised by the fiery trial that is to try you, as though something strange happened to you: 13 But rejoice, inasmuch as you are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory is revealed, you may be overjoyed.”
Peter is telling us, “When you go through the trials, don’t get bitter, get better.”
Second, recognize that God has a purpose in trials, as we discussed earlier.
He knows what He is doing in your life and what is best for you. And He gives us that hopeful promise in Romans 8:28 – “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose.” May God give you the strength to trust that promise.
Third, never forget that God is always righteous and good in all His dealings.
Psalm 145, written by David, is one of those soaring odes to God and all He is. He waxes eloquently about God’s splendor and majesty and power in the first part of the psalm, and the second half deals with God’s good hand in our lives.
In verse 17 he says something important: “The LORD is righteous in all his ways and gracious in all he does.”
• First, He is righteous in ALL His ways. – That means that no matter WHAT you are experiencing, God is just and fair and holy in how He deals with you.
• Second, David says God is “gracious” in all He does.
I chose to use the word “gracious” here, but other modern versions translate it kind, faithful, merciful, loving, compassionate, even “holy.” Why are there so many ways the different versions have expressed this? The problem is there is no single best word to use in our language because the Hebrew word here, chesed, is so pregnant with meaning that none of those words alone can accurately capture all that it means. Chesed is used throughout the Old Testament to describe God’s unique relationship with those who are His, incorporating His special covenant loyalty and love for us who are His people, His mercy and compassion for us, His special care for us, His abiding faithfulness no matter how unfaithful we are to Him, His gracious working in our lives.
Those are all separate concepts in our minds, but when a Jew heard chesed, all those concepts were understood together. No wonder we need all the translations together to understand it!
Here’s what this means to you and me: No matter what your trials in this life, God has a special loyalty, love, mercy, compassion, care and faithfulness for you, and it is all to uphold His holiness and to build His holiness into your life. This is an assurance that no matter what the trial you are in, God will be with you, He will help you in it, He has your best interest at heart, and He WILL work out for good whatever you’re going through.
Lastly, remember that what you’re going through is not the end of the story.
In this passage, we see Naomi complaining and griping about God. But notice the last phrase in verse 22 of our text: “…and they came to Bethlehem in the beginning of barley harvest.”
The rest of the story is how God brought them at exactly the right time, to exactly to the right field, where God had prepared exactly the right man for Ruth to meet…who would be the answer to all Ruth’s AND Naomi’s problems. Naomi could only see sorrow, but God was preparing to bring great joy into her life. You see, often our deepest sorrows are the prelude to God’s greatest blessings.
As Psalm 30:5 says, “…weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”
Can you believe in that promise?—Can you claim it when you’re going through a trial? The next time you are in a fiery trial, remember: God has a purpose in it, He will be gracious and get your through it by his chesed, He will turn your trial into good in your life, and there will be a blessing to come that is greater than today’s pain. Don’t get bitter in the time of trial; get better by humbly submitting to God’s dealing in your life and trusting in God’s good had.
[A GREAT ending song/invitational to this sermon is Bethel Music’s Goodness of God.]
