Video Transition: Indivisible - the movie came out in Oct 2018 true story of fighting for the Biblical family!
Summary of INDIVISIBLE is based on the extraordinary true story of Army Chaplain Darren Turner and his wife Heather. With a strong, faith-filled marriage, the Turners are ready to follow their calling: serving God, family, and country.
Fresh from seminary and basic training, Chaplain Turner and his family arrive at Fort Stewart. Yet before the Turners can even unpack their new house, Darren is deployed to Iraq. Heather is left taking care of their three young children alone … as well as serving the families of the other deployed soldiers.
Despite a desire to stay connected with their loved ones, the harsh realities of war take a daily toll over the course of the Battalion’s extended deployment. Meanwhile back home, babies are born, kids keep growing, and nerves are frayed with every late-night knock on the door.
Find Joy Through Your Family! (pt. 5)
Series: Find Joy in the Journey
Thesis of series: Joy needs to be experienced in the journey of life! But Joy, like any other attitude, can come and go. It is not guaranteed simply because we are born again believers. We must put ourselves in the places where experiencing joy is a possibility. We need to go after and find joy in our journey of life.
Introduction to Series:
The world tells us to pursue happiness. They tell us there are many paths to happiness for example: getting a college degree, having a successful career, making lots of money, getting a new car, hitting your goal weight, marrying the perfect person, buying your dream house, retiring early, and now we have the following being promoted in our society as the path of happiness such as: embrace you gay side and be proud and reject scientific and biblical family values, happiness is found in abortion on demand paid by the state even at 9 months old, happiness is living together and not marrying, happiness is found in life by not adhering to any absolutes, happiness is being a full time gamer, happiness is found in legalized marijuana, happiness is found in drugs, happiness is found in parties especially wild ones. Happiness is found in sexual promiscuity.
So we hear these things or actions will make you happy!
Question: Do you think I am correct with my observation of our current society? Do I need to add to the list? Do you think I am missing something?
So, we have the pursuit of happiness and we get it when we get whatever we want – so goes the myth of the great deception of happiness.
But I look around and happiness is fleeing many – people are angry, depressed, suicidal, unforgiving, revengeful, I see people easily disappointed and frustrated.
I really have been challenging you to look over the myth of the pursuit of happiness and live beyond this self-centered focus to instead finding joy in the journey of life – even in the unexpected corners of life – even in the trails of life! Because life is filled with unhappy moment’s but God can help us discover joy in the journey. This is what our video clip revealed to us today and uses the real life family of Army chaplain Darren Turner and his wife Heather.
Scripture Texts for 2019:
Phil. 4:4: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”
Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
John 15:11 “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
Sermon: Finding Joy in the Journey through Family! Pt 5
Focus: We have decided to focus on the family this month of June to celebrate and learn how to build healthy biblical families!
Thesis: We need to learn the keys to having a healthy biblical family if we want to fend off the attack of the enemy on our families. If we want to experience joy in the journey of life!
Summary of key building blocks to a healthy biblical family unit:
1. Build on God’s foundation and use His blueprints.
2. Commit and submit to each other and to the biblical family unit.
3. Be loyal and faithful to the family and to each other.
4. Respect your spouse, family members and others.
5. Be good godly parents.
6. Choose to forgive and be forgiven.
In Chuck Swindoll’s book The Strong Family he asks the question, “What makes a family strong?”
He quotes a survey done by Dr. Stinnett who studied 3,000 families and discovered six main qualities of strong families:
1. They are committed to each other
2. They spend time together
3. They have good family communication
4. They express appreciation for each other
5. They have a spiritual commitment
6. They are able to solve problems in crisis
Swindoll, The Strong Family page 14.
We have talked about four of these qualities in the last few weeks with our series find joy in the journey through family. I noticed that there are two qualities we have not addressed in building strong healthy biblical families – The two are spend time together and be able to solve problems in crisis.
Today and most likely next week - I want to talk about spending time together and by being involved in your kid’s and families lives as well as learning problem solving skills for the crisis moments that come to all families.
When Kathy and I first got married we set out on a mission to discover how to build a strong healthy biblical family by doing an informal study of everyone who we met who had the majority of their children living for the Lord and were pastors or ministers – The number one answer we received from these families was we spend time together, family is more important than work or things. God was first in the family and then family was next and it even came before ministry. Many pastors who we observed served the church well but neglected their families and the result was very few of their children were living for the Lord. But the ones who were there for their children growing up with their presence and time had the majority if not all of their children living for the Lord.
The common denominator was giving their children their precious time and being involved in their lives!
I think Scripture is very clear about warning parents who are uninvolved in their children’s lives as kids, teens and even adults to heed the warning of the danger in doing so.
I think of the following biblical examples:
Laban and Jacob were Laban in my view pimped his daughters to Jacob and forced Jacob into marrying one of them.
Jacob and with his sons playing favorites.
Isaac and Rebekah playing favorites with their sons
Eli who sacrificed his family for his ministry work and leadership position.
David who was so busy leading Israel that he did not lead and take care of his family and up grew Absalom.
I read this thought on a blog from the “Voices of Faith” web site: “For Christians and Jews, and for a considerable portion of Western culture, the Bible is like a family album, portraying the best and worst examples of what human beings are capable of doing to one another. Still, I would nominate as “worst” the parents who lead the “Whoever” family, as Jesus cautions in Matthew 18:6: “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin …” Directly provoking children to intentional wrongdoing can scar them for life and condemn them to a future fraught with defeat, discouragement, and despair. Such a caution is good not only in the biblical context but is relevant and applies to all of us in contemporary life. From https://www.kansascity.com/living/religion/article14006654.html.
Jesus instructs us that we are to protect our children from evil and sin and the Apostle Paul tells us to be involved in their lives correcting them, teaching them and training them through their life’s journey.
So today I want to emphasize how it is essential as biblical parents that we stay involved in our children’s, teens and adult children’s lives and let me add this too and also be involved in your grandchildren’s lives too. Let me share why this is essential with a Biblical family portrait from the OT.
Note: This sermon is gleamed directly and indirectly from Church Swindoll’s Book The Strong Family pages 155-170.
Scripture Text: 1 Samuel 2: 12-36; 1 Samuel 4:12-22
I. The Biblical Family portrait – reality checks are revealed in the Bible not naïve idealism!
a. The family head Eli – A Priest and Judge of Israel.
i. He held a very responsible position in Israel!
ii. He most likely was a household name in Israel.
iii. He is said to have judged Israel in 1 Samuel 4:18 for 40 years.
iv. He was highly respected and a busy man leading the nation as judge and priest!
1. He held the political position as leader of Israel (civic position judge) and also as a priest of God (sacred position minister).
v. He was a believer because he represented God to the people and he was known to help others hear the voice of God - a case in point is Samuel in chapter 3.
1. So, he was spiritually sensitive.
vi. He was old – he was fat – he had bad eyesight he dies at 98.
vii. He is also noted as a father but not a good father!
b. His family – Eli is the father, no mention of a mother, it’s assumed she passed away at this point in time, and he has two sons Hophni and Phinehas.
i. His sons were young men and also priests – in those days most sons would follow in their father’s footsteps and become what their fathers did as a profession.
ii. In 1 Samuel 2:12 we get a shocking statement from the Bible and author Samuel, “Now the two sons of Eli were worthless men, they did not know the Lord .”
1. The Bible does not paint fairytale stories of people it tells the truth and tells it like it was.
a. These men were priests by profession – they were part of the worship of God – they were in charge of keeping the Ark of the Covenant - but their hearts were totally disconnected from God.
b. These two sons of Eli lived scandalous lives filled with sin.
i. See 1 Samuel 2:12-17!
c. They used their positions for personal profit and gain.
d. They used their positions for sex and power and indulgences.
e. They had no reverence for God or for His ways.
f. They were greedy and immoral men.
i. Swindoll states, “It is nothing new that Pk’s and Mk’s can often lead notorious lives.”
1. These two men developed cynicism toward God, toward spiritual things and then used their position for personal gain and power.
2. They grew up observing the worship of God but they themselves had no relationship with God who they claimed to represent.
II. We see in our scenario a disintegrating biblical family: Let’s learn how to prevent a biblical family from disintegrating by seeing what Eli did wrong:
a. He did not heed the warnings from others – the Lord’s people!
i. Warning one comes from the people of God – In Israel – we could say the church.
1. Eli your sons are openly committing adultery at the doorway to the tent of meetings – having sex with the women there – stop them.
2. Eli your sons are doing evil – they are doing wrong right out in public during worship time – strong arming people for the best of their sacrifices to God.
a. See 1 Samuel 2:22-24
3. Eli they are desecrating the work of the Lord at the tent of meeting – they are making the worship of God a joke!
4. The Problem: Eli talks to them but falls short of disciplining them! He does not take them to the Elders for discipline either. He keeps his head in the sand!
a. Eli failed to take the proper parenting 101 steps!
i. He did not discipline his children when they were wrong!
ii. He did not teach them respect for God and for others.
iii. Resource: Raising Respectful children in a disrespectful World – Jill Rigby quote:
1. Rigby, “If you want to raise respectful children in a disrespectful world, you must command their respect through a balance of love and discipline, even in the little things” (page 11).
2. She notes in our society today we have lost our manners and in the process lost our morals with them.
a. Rigby states, “Respect lies at the heart of manners and morals. A person’s respect for authority, respect for others, and respect for self go a long way toward determining the moral decisions that person makes. Manners instilled in the early years become the foundation for moral behaviors in the later years” (page 11)
iv. Eli failed to exert his fatherly authority and correct his sons – he allowed them to be disrespectful to people, greedy and so on which led to outright sin in the face of the people and God. Eli is the part of the problem that these sons are like they are!
ii. He did not heed the warning from an unnamed prophet called “a man of God.”
1. See 1 Samuel 2:27-34
a. The charges from the prophet and the reality check for Eli:
i. Did God not deliver your family out of Egypt?
ii. Did God not choose your family to be my representatives of Him to the people – are you not God’s priests?
iii. Did God not charge you with helping people worship and offer sacrifices to Him so He could bless them?
iv. Did God not provide for your family through this sacred position a good living?
v. Questions by the prophet: “So why do you allow you and your sons to mock the sacrifices given to God? To bully people giving you what you don’t deserve? Why do you make yourself fat with God’s offerings?
1. Eli why are you honoring your sons more than God?
b. Verdict: The result of failing to correct and discipline your sons and for your sin of keeping your head in the sand is your family will no longer represent God as priests.
i. God will not honor you or your sons any longer as His representatives.
ii. Your family has lost its position of honor with God because of your disrespect of God and His ways.
iii. Eli your soul will grieve and your eyes will fail because you have chosen to look the other way at the sins your sons and you have committed.
iv. Your sons will both die on the same day because of your failure as a father to lead them, to teach them and to correct them.
1. They die in battle with the Philistines and the Ark of the Covenant is captured.
c. The man of God tells Eli you’re the problem – you allowed your sons to take liberties with their priestly duties and responsibilities – you stand there with your arms folded looking the other way as they rip off people, bully people, extort people and they also did the same to God during times of worship and sacrifice.
i. His failure was he let it pass! He did nothing!
1. He did not deal with the sin of his sons.
ii. His failure to correct and discipline sent the message to his sons that he approved of what they were doing.
1. It always does by the way.
iii. I assume this reveals the type of father he was – he let them get away with everything and did not correct them.
1. Maybe he thought since they lost their mother he had to easy on them?
iv. What could he have followed the instructions of Deuteronomy 21:18-21 and Deut. 6? But he chose not too!
iii. He did not heed the Warning from God
1. See 1 Samuel 3:11-12
a. I am carrying out the sentence on you and your family – says God! Enough is enough!
b. I see in Scripture over and over if people repent God relents on judgement – like Jonah and the Ninevites which we talked about last week – but they are warned by the people of God, prophet and they continued to ignore the warning so judgement now comes on the three of them.
c. The three never repented or changed their ways – they kept sinning, living a life of sin in the tent of meetings n the face of God and they waved their sin in the face of God daily.
i. You could say they were proud of their sin!
1. Pride Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”
2. People who celebrated their sin with pride will reap the destruction and judgment of God!
2. Warning from Scripture is failure to respond correctly to the warning of others is a matter of life and death.
a. Some today rebuke the teacher for pointing out a child’s problem behavior.
b. Some today blame the police for the way they react to their kid’s sin filled ways and outbursts.
c. Some do not listen to their own mom and dad’s advice about their children’s behavior which needs corrected.
d. Do you see the warning?
III. What are more signs of family disintegration from our Biblical narrative?
a. Preoccupation with the father’s or mother’s profession to the exclusion of the families needs.
i. They are a busy judge and leader and or priest but Eli failed to lead and teach his kids the ways of the Lord.
b. Eli failed or refusal to face the severity of his son’s sin filled lifestyle.
i. Living in denial – keeping their heads in the sand – looking the other way. This will not fix the problem only make it worse.
c. Eli’s rationalization of wrong, thereby caused him to become a part of the problem.
i. Eli helped himself to the extra meat his sons stole and so he int turn stole from those offering sacrifices to God – he ate it – too much of it! In the end it killed him and his sons!
ii. We see this same parenting error today with the acceptance of living together outside marriage, embracing gay pride and it’s sinful lifestyle see Romans 1:18-32, even embracing abortion and sadly even at 9 months! The Bible makes it clear what is sin and sin needs to be called sin.
1. We allow our children to be disrespectful to others and never correct them!
2. This has lead to the detoriation of the family units in our society and will lead to the demise of our nation and to a relationship with the Lord.
Conclusion:
History reveals what happens when the biblical family unit disintegrates in society!
The five reasons for the decline and fall of the Roman Empire — secular historian Edward Gibbon
Jones states, "But why, in spite of all our efforts and endeavors and great advances, is the world still in trouble? Why is every advance followed by regression, every rise by a decline and fall? Why do our attempts to govern the world end in disaster? What is the matter? And there is only one answer. It is due to the fact that men and women have sinful and fallen natures; it is due to their estrangement from God; and, more, it is due to God’s wrath upon humanity in its sinfulness and arrogance. But the tragedy of the world is that it does not realize this. I was reading again, only the other day, and it struck me forcibly, the explanation given by that great historian Edward Gibbon, who was not a Christian, for the decline and fall of the Roman Empire. And if his explanation is not also true of this country today, then I am completely ignorant!”
Here are the five reasons he gives:
• The rapid increase of divorce and “the undermining of the dignity and sanctity of the home, which is the basis of human society.” Now that is not being said by me, a little evangelical preacher—that is the great Edward Gibbon, and, of course, he is right. The home is the fundamental unit in society and once the home goes, everything will go, sooner or later.
• “Higher and higher taxes and the spending of public monies on bread and circuses.”
• “The mad craze for pleasure and sport; sport becoming every year more and more exciting and brutal.”
• “The building of gigantic armaments when the real enemy is within—in the decadence of the people themselves.”
• “The decay of religious faith; faith fading into mere form which has lost all contact with reality.”
Jones notes, “The Roman Empire was a wonderful civilization. Those Romans were perhaps the greatest experts the world has ever known on local government and on legal systems. The Roman system—that was real civilization. Add to that the Greek civilization that had gone just before, and you had human endeavor almost at its highest point. But what happened to it? It was conquered by the Barbarians, the Goths, and the Vandals—the ignoramuses. How did they ever conquer this great civilization? Gibbon’s answer is that internal rot in the civilization itself weakened and destroyed the Roman Empire. And that, I repeat, is the story of human civilization. All human systems fail because the trouble is within the people themselves, and external rules and laws and regulations cannot change them. It is not that we need better laws, but that we need better natures; not better instruction, but better spirits and better desires. And so all this human history comes to nothing. And yet these earthly authorities prohibit the preaching of the Gospel, the only thing that can save the situation."
— Martyn Lloyd-Jones (2003). Vol. 3: Victorious Christianity (1st U.S. ed.). Studies in the Book of Acts (102–103). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Boo
The rise and fall of the family today” A Somber Yet Relevant Analysis” by Chuck Swindoll:
Chuck notes, “In an insightful volume written back in 1947, sociologist and historian Carle Zimmerman compared the deterioration and ultimate disintegration of various cultures with the parallel in the decline of the family unit in America. His study identified specific patterns of behavior that typified the final stages of the disintegration of each culture. Just before each culture fell into totals disarray, certain conditions became prominent. Dr Zimmerman traced those elements that led to the demise of the family unit. There were eleven in all…and among the eleven were:
1. Increased and rapid, easy “causeless” divorce. (Guilty and innocent party theory became a pure fiction).
2. Decreased number of children, population decay, and increased public disrespect for parents and parenthood.
3. Elimination of the real meaning of the marriage ceremony.
4. Popularity of pessimistic doctrines about the early heroes.
5. Breaking down of most inhibitions against adultery.
6. Revolts of youth against parents so that parenthood became more and more difficult for those who did try to raise children.
7. Rapid rise and spread of juvenile delinquency.
8. Common acceptance of all forms of sex perversions.”
All that sounds strangely familiar, doesn’t it? And to think we are repeating history once again” (Swindoll pages 169, 170).
What do we need to know from this message?
Answer: The biblical family unit is disintegrating in America at a rapid rate. It is under attack by secular media, public schools, Hollywood, Gay pride movement, abortion movement, and other movements. We need to protect our biblical family units from these predators.
Why do we need to know this?
Answer: We cannot keep our heads in the sand and pretend everything is okay! We have to rise up with the Sword of the Spirit and protect our families, our children, grandchildren and spiritual children.
What do we need to do?
Answer: We have to confront and combat the lies with the truth of Scripture! We have to take a stand against the enemy of the biblical family unit.
Why do we need to do this?
Answer: If we do not are kids will be swept into the lies and into sin and out of a relationship with God and Jesus.
