Find Joy Through Your Family! (pt4)
Series: Find Joy in the Journey
Thesis of series: Joy needs to be experienced in the journey of life! But Joy, like any other attitude, can come and go. It is not guaranteed simply because we are born again believers. We must put ourselves in the places where experiencing joy is a possibility. We need to go after and find joy in our journey of life. What are you doing to cultivate joy? Remember joy is a choice!
Many get all caught up in our, so called, destinations but in the process, we never enjoy the moments in the journey of life to that destination. But God is more concerned with the journey, than the destination so we need to focus less on the destination and enjoy the journey today – we need to find the joy in the here and now.
Introduction to Series:
Studying about joy in Scripture, looking at verses which speak of joy, helps build an understanding of how to put ourselves in places where it is possible to find and maintain an attitude of joy in our journey of life. Scripture reveals it is possible to find laughter and joy in living life in a sin-filled world! The Apostle Paul teaches us this can be done!
Scripture Texts for 2019:
Phil. 4:4: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”
Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
John 15:11 “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
Sermon: Finding Joy in the Journey through Family! Pt 4
Focus: We have decided to focus on the family this month of June to celebrate and learn how to build healthy biblical families!
Thesis: We need to learn the keys to having a healthy biblical family if we want to fend off the attack of the enemy on our families. If we want to experience joy in the journey of life!
Summary of key building blocks to a healthy biblical family unit:
1. Build on God’s foundation and use His blueprints.
2. Commit and submit to each other and to the biblical family unit.
3. Be loyal and faithful to the family and to each other.
4. Respect your spouse, family members and others.
5. Be good godly parents.
The Main Family Focus Scripture texts is Ephesians 5: 1-33:
T.S. This video will introduce our next family building block – Video Illustration --- the building block key of forgiveness! The 6th key to building healthy biblical families is having the willingness to forgive and be forgiven.
I. Why should you forgive?
a. Charles Stanley gives us reasons why we should forgive in his book The Gift of Forgiveness.
i. He states, “A person who has an unforgiving spirit is always the real loser, much more so than the one against whom the grudge is held.” He adds, “Un-forgiveness, by its very nature, prevents individuals from following through on many specifics of the Christian life and practically necessitates that they walk by the flesh rather than by the spirit “(17,18).
ii. He also expounds in his book on how un-forgiveness devastates the one who refuses to forgive.
iii. Quote: “Harboring unforgiveness or bitterness, is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” (http://danielpassini.org/what-did-jesus-mean-by-forgiving-70-x-7-times/).
b. When we choose to not forgive in one relationship you soon discover that it spills into other relationships and it destroys them too.
i. When the unforgiving person stands around and waits for the other to make restitution he loses out on life because they never make any progress in their journey of life.
ii. That sad fact is as they are standing around waiting for the other person --- they form fleshly patterns of behavior and incorrect thought processes.
iii. Stanley states, “Regardless of how wrong the other person may have been, refusing to forgive means reaping the corruption in life. And that corruption begins in one relationship including the relationship with God, and that works its way into all the rest” (25,26).
c. Here are a few lines from Scripture in which Jesus talks about the grace of forgiveness and why it's essential:
i. "If you forgive others the wrong’s they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done." -- Matthew 6.14-15 GNTD
ii. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sin’s against you seven times in one day, and each time he comes to you saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him." Luke 17.3-4 GNTD and let’s tie this instruction from Jesus to another scripture - "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, if my brother keeps on sinning against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times?' 'No, not seven times,' answered Jesus, 'but seventy times seven…'" -- Matthew 18.21-22 GNTD
1. Do the math – that is 490 times a day!
2. That means you are to forgive every 2.9 minutes throughout the day if offended against and that does not include sleeping! So, to be offended by someone means they have to be the ultimate sinner and sin against you about every 3 minutes for the entire day and night! Jesus said you still need to forgive!
iii. "And when you stand and pray, forgive anything you may have against anyone, so that your Father in heaven will forgive the wrongs you have done." --Mark 11.25 GNTD
1. Key point to be forgiven you have to forgive!
iv. "Do not judge others, and God will not judge you; do not condemn others, and God will not condemn you; forgive others, and God will forgive you." -- Luke 6.37 GNTD
v. "Drink it, all of you; this is my blood, which seals God's covenant, my blood poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." -- Matthew 26.27-29 GNTD
d. John MacArthur gives us reasons why we need to forgive in his book and series, The Art of Giving and Receiving Forgiveness.
i. Un-forgiveness imprisons people in the past.
1. I always say don’t let the past dictate the future. Unforgiveness will keep you trapped in the past and rob you of a future!
ii. Un-forgiveness provokes bitterness toward others – it’s the nature of unforgiveness.
1. The Bible calls it the root of bitterness in Hebrews 12:15.
a. He states, ‘Bitterness is the cancer of the heart.”
i. Forgiveness is the most godlike act that a person can do. Unforgiveness on the other hand is the most Satanic thing we can do.
ii. Forgiveness affirms unmerited love. Bitterness promotes unmerited hate.
iii. God promises His love to those who forgive others. Trust me Satan knows that unforgiveness will get you condemned by God.
iv. Forgiveness prevents hate. Unforgiveness breeds hate.
iii. Un-forgiveness results in discipline by God.
1. The unforgiving will not be forgiven by God – This is Scriptual!
a. Jesus makes it very clear that we have to forgive. This is the primary reason we are to forgive others because He said so.
2. Forgive one another like Christ forgave each of us – the biggest reason why we need to forgive.
II. “The Unforgiving Heart” case in point a man named Jonah
a. Jonah exposes his unforgiving heart in chapter 4 and God challenges him with the question, “What right do you have to be angry?” The question reminds Jonah that God showed him mercy and grace in the belly of whale so he needs to pass on this same gift of forgiveness to the Ninevites.
i. Scripture Text: Jonah Chapter 4: 1But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry. 2He prayed to the LORD, “O LORD, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. 3Now, O LORD, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.” 4But the LORD replied, “Have you any right to be angry?” 5Jonah went out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. 6Then the LORD God provided a vine and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the vine. 7But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the vine so that it withered. 8When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.” 9But God said to Jonah, “Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?” “I do,” he said. “I am angry enough to die.” 10But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?”
1. Summary of Jonah: In chapter one Jonah ran away from God. In chapter two after running right into a storm of life, Jonah found himself cast into a raging sea and then swallowed by a whale. But in the midst of his whale of an experience Jonah ran back to God. Then God delivered Jonah and then Jonah ran to Nineveh. He obeyed the voice of God and revival ran wild through this great city. In chapter 4 we discover Jonah running from a city in revival and picking up an attitude of anger and un-forgiveness with God because of His mercy and grace.
2. Through the preaching of Jonah, and the repentance of the people of Nineveh, the city was spared at this time. However, history tells us their repentance was fairly short-lived. Soon they had fallen back into their sinful way of life. The prophet Nahum was then sent to these same people. However, they failed to repent (as they had with Jonah), and thus were destroyed in 612 BC.
b. Jonah is running away from God in chapter 4 but this he is running away from a revival right into the grips of his un-forgiveness. This is not the place you want to be running because it has serious consequences!
i. An unforgiving heart gets angry with God.
1. “Do we have any right to get angry with God?” According to Scripture “NO!”
a. Jonah was angry and upset with God for showing compassion and grace to the city of Nineveh!
b. How many here remember John Bevere’s book The Bait of Satan
i. He said, “The Greek word for ‘offend’ in Luke 17:1 comes from the word skandalon. This word originally referred to the part of the trap to which the bait was attached. Hence the word signifies laying a trap in someone’s way. In the New Testament it often describes an entrapment used by the enemy. Offense is a tool of the devil to bring people into captivity” (page 7).
c. I read another book, “How to Forgive When You Don’t Feel Like It” by June Hunt.
i. She opened her book with the following Introduction, “Resentment...rage…retaliation. Ever struggle with forgiveness? Ever thought it was impossible? Ever knew you oughta but didn’t wanna? I believe the majority of the world’s population is struggling with forgiveness-right now! If you are human (which you are) and if you are reading this book (which you are), you have been hurt-deeply and profoundly-and have faced the formidable foe of un-forgiveness” (page 9).
ii. The truth is Jonah is angry at God because his heart is filled with un-forgiveness toward these lost people.
1. He wanted them judged and condemned for their evil ways – not forgiven. Jonah is mad, no, outraged and resentful that God would show mercy and grace to these wicked people. He was furious that God would bestow the gift of forgiveness on this wicked heathen city of a 120,000 people.
2. The truth is Jonah hated the Ninevite’s – they were the enemy of Israel and He hated the fact that God would save them from judgment. He had a spirit of offense against these people and he wanted them wiped out by God not saved by God. Besides Jonah may have rationed in his heart that they were Gentiles! They were not even God’s chosen people the Jews!
a. How could God do this- save non-Jewish heathens? Why would God do such an awful and unfair act to the Israelites?
3. If Jonah would have gotten his way here with God then the reality is - none of us sitting here today could have been given the gift of salvation. Jonah did not want any of us Gentiles saved!
iii. Let’s flash forward to the time of Jesus for a moment.
1. We leave Jonah stomping mad with God for showing forgiveness to a city full of sinners. We open up our new scene with a cloud of dust and a crowd of angry people dragging a woman half clothed to Jesus. They are mad – outraged – steam is coming off their fuming heads of anger! Jesus hears people shouting “Stone the wicked women! Stone her! She is despicable to our sight! Kill her!”
a. The crowd is angry at the act of the sin of adultery and demands justice – judgment on this sin!
b. Let’s look at the Scripture John 8:1-11: 1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11“No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
i. Let’s gain some eternal perspective here. The crowd wants justice carried out against this woman – she is a sinner! The Scribes and Pharisees have her by the arm. She was caught in the very act of adultery. The Law says she is to be stoned to death! So, they approach Jesus and ask, “What do you think about this matter – you know the sin matter!” Of course Jesus knew it was a trap to get Him in trouble with everyone. Remember he has been preaching forgiveness of sin and this topic of grace. He has a following of people and if he says, “Forgive her” then he goes against the Scripture in Exodus 20:14 --One of the 10 Commandments-- This will make the people mad at him for disobeying God’s Word. If he says, “Stone her!” as was required under the Law then He just undermined His message of Grace and Mercy.
1. So how does Jesus handle this situation: He bends done and He writes in the sand with His finger. What do you think He wrote? He says, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”
2. Let me throw a possible scenario out at you this morning as to what He might have wrote in the sand: Could he have looked into the eyes of the angry people who wanted her stoned and wrote their sins in the sand and then looked them in the eye.
a. Lying – he then looks at a man.
b. Stealing - he looks another person in the eye.
c. Gossip - he looks another in the eyes.
d. Using the name of the Lord in vain – he glances up at another person.
e. Idolatry – he looks up at another.
f. False testimony – he glances at another.
g. Murder – he looks up at another.
h. Coveting – he looks at another.
i. It says “as he continued to write in the sand” – not sure what he is writing but they all start leaving. First the older ones walk away as Jesus Words echo in their ears, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”
ii. Jesus stands up “Woman where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” She said. “Then neither do I condemn you.” Jesus declared, “Go now and leave you life of sin.” Note – He said, “You are forgiven go and sin no more!”
2. An unforgiving heart will make us angry with God and it will entrap us in misery and get us stuck in a lifecycle filled with resentment. It will hinder us from going anywhere with our life.
a. We will be trapped in the Bait of Satan’s trap of unforgiveness and misery.
III. An unforgiving heart will grow in bitterness and get you trapped into a life which is going nowhere.
a. I have met too many people who are stuck in the cycle of bitterness. It’s a vicious cycle which goes nowhere. It seems as if they pick up the Spirit of Offense and in turn they never grow or mature in their life.
i. They seem to stop living freely and everything in life quits growing.
ii. They are living a life with no eternal value or purpose.
iii. They seem to stop living and their lives are filled with brooding and focusing on waiting for justice to strike the one who offended them.
1. They stop living and sit down and watch and wish for the demise of the offender! They get stuck in a rut of un-forgiveness – the trap of offense has then hooked them by the jaw!
iv. They actually quit living and spend their precious time watching and wishing for the demise of the offender.
v. They actually become obsessed with the demise of the one who offended them.
vi. They spend most of their waking moments of precious time wasting it away on impure thoughts. Instead of investing their time into eternal things for God they waste it on anger, bitterness, hatred, and un-forgiveness.
vii. They quit living, they lose all their joy, they have no peace and they live a miserable life.
1. We see that this unforgiving heart comes with many dangerous risk’s and consequences.
b. June Hunt lists a few of the risks associated with a person who chooses to not forgive. The following information is from her book How to Forgive When You Don’t Feel Like It. Taken from pages 70-73:
i. Refusing to forgive means that God will not forgive your own sins.
1. Jesus said, “If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their sins, you Father will not forgive your sins.”
a. The risk you take for having an unforgiving heart is to suffer un-forgiveness from God for your own sins.
b. This is a major risk and is a very severe consequence for the choice of un-forgiveness!
2. Refusing to forgive a person can actually hinder or even block your own salvation.
a. June in her book shared a real life story about a man named Bill who refused to forgive his ex-wife. This refusal to forgive her blocked his own salvation and he even knew it. When June confronted Bill for his choice of un-forgiveness and she shared the risk – he still choose not to forgive her. June warned him by saying the following: “After hearing his litany of offenses, I explained, ‘Bill, becoming an authentic Christian means receiving Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. The Bible says, ‘Believe in (rely upon) the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved.’ ‘If He is truly your Lord, that means He is your Master, ruler, owner-to whom you yield your will to His. If He says forgive, you must be willing to forgive. If you refuse to forgive, you are still being your own ruler. You are not receiving Him as you Lord.’ He quickly responded, ‘I can’t.’ ‘Bill, God would never tell you to do something without giving you the power to do it.’ ‘I just can’t-no! I won’t.’ Bill walked away still carrying a bulging bag of bitterness…and I never saw him again” (71).
b. Remember: God will not bless sin – unforgiveness is sin!
i. Even repeat with me “Unforgiveness is sin!”
IV. Un-forgiveness impacts our fellowship with God and with others in the Body of Christ. This hindering dimension to our relationship with God and with others blocks the blessings of God in our lives.
a. Refusing to forgive will block the blessings of God. Is this something you want to do?
i. I know for a fact it steals the blessings away!
1. This weight of un-forgiveness weighs down our hearts and our minds and it leaves us crippled in life. I have met far too many people who harbor the sin of un-forgiveness in their heart and they are crippled in life, in relationships and they are blocking the blessing of God for their life.
ii. These people do not have the joy of the Holy Spirit!
1. They do not have peace in life. They do not have love flowing freely!
iii. June Hunt says, “The choice is ours: We can be stuck with our stones of resentment, or we can be free to run with forgiveness” (72).
iv. June also shows us the other side of the coin – When we choose to forgive. “When we offer love, mercy, and forgiveness to others, it will be returned to us measure for measure. If we’re generous with our kindness toward other people, God will return that to us so it’s running over” (73).
V. What are the benefits of forgiveness? June Hunt tells us these are the rewards for choosing to do what God instructs us to do on pages 73, 74:
a. Forgiveness opens the door to God’s forgiveness.
b. Forgiveness prevents a root of bitterness from growing.
c. Forgiveness closes the door to Satan in our lives.
d. Forgiveness brings us into the light.
e. Forgiveness reflects a Godly heart.
f. Forgiveness gets us in sync with the Spirit of God.
g. Forgiveness leads to blessings.
h. Forgiveness is a choice and it is not based on feelings.
i. June Hunt notes: “Clearly, not a single person on earth is immune from hurt and heartache. Still, that doesn’t mean we have to stay forever distressed, devastated by the destructive behavior that wrought such pain in our lives. We must remind ourselves, for our good, and for the good of others, that forgiveness is not a feeling. Indeed, forgiveness is a purposeful decision-an act of the will not dependent on our emotions. No matter what has been done to us, or how badly it hurts, we must forgive because of this inescapable and profound truth: God has forgiven us all the more. Aren’t you grateful God is not gleefully piling up a bag full of offenses with your name on it?” (Page 76).
Conclusion:
Un-forgiveness will cause us to get stuck into a deep rut of bitterness and despair just like Jonah. This despair will cause us to want to just die. An unforgiving heart will eventually cause a person to want to die rather than to live.
Back to Jonah who is sitting outside the city watching-wishing for its demise.
Jonah 4: 8-11:
8When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.” 9But God said to Jonah, “Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?” “I do,” he said. “I am angry enough to die.” 10But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?”
God once again confronts Jonah: “What right do you have to be angry about the vine? I provided it and I took it away because of the worm of un-forgiveness in your heart!”
God rebukes him even further, “You are more concerned about this vine and your own comfort than you are about the lives of 120,000 people and their animals. Jonah you are so selfish – you are so caught up into the sin of un-forgiveness – I care for this city – I care for these people but it is obvious you do not. So that’s the end of your story Jonah – we are done discussing this – you just need to repent!”
We never hear anything else about Jonah’s life or ministry again. We know that he penned this book after the fact and he pointedly ends this book with, “The Lord’s rebuke to Him!” The sudden conclusion of this book is a warning to all those who choose to become angry with God and who chose the path of un-forgiveness. Jonah is saying, “Don’t make the mistake I made by choosing not to forgive!” “Learn the lesson from my failure – run to God, stay with God, obey God and forgive like God forgives and it will be well with your soul.”
Jonah and the Bible make the message clear:
• God forgives those who repent of sin, Jew or Gentile.
• God will not tolerate disobedience from His people and they will be reprimanded.
• God will rebuke you if you choose the path of un-forgiveness.
• God will cut off His protection from you if you allow sin to take root in your heart.
The forgiving heart looks like this (From Hunt pages 198-200).
1. The forgiving heart loves
2. The forgiving heart is filled with a loving spirit
3. The forgiving heart is joyous
4. The forgiving heart has the awareness of joy
5. The forgiving heart is peaceful
6. The forgiving heart has a peaceful demeanor
7. The forgiving heart is patient
8. The forgiving heart is committed to patience
9. The forgiving heart is kind
10. The forgiving heart is kind in deed
11. The forgiving heart is good
12. The forgiving heart is blessed with a good healthy heart
13. The forgiving heart is faithful
14. The forgiving heart is committed to faithfulness to God
15. The forgiving heart is gentle
16. The forgiving heart always has a gentle response
17. The forgiving heart is self-controlled
18. The forgiving heart responds to others in a controlled way
God’s Heart on Forgiveness from Hunt’s book pages 209-210:
1. God commands that we forgive each other (Eph. 4:32).
2. God warns us to forgive others because He has forgiven us (Col. 3:13).
3. God wants us to see un-forgiveness as sin (James 4:17).
4. God wants us to get rid of un-forgiveness and have a heart of mercy (Matthew 5:7).
5. God wants us to do our part to live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18).
6. God wants us to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).
7. God wants us to be ministers of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18-19)
June Hunt’s quote: “Forgiveness is not a feeling…forgiveness is a purposeful decision-an act of the will not dependent on our emotions” (page 76).
Question: Will you decide today to choose the path of forgiveness toward a person who has wronged you? If you do then you will be delivered and set free to live and find joy in journey.
Summary of 6 points:
1. Build on God’s foundation and use His blueprints.
2. Commit and submit to each other and to the biblical family unit.
3. Be loyal and faithful to the family and to each other.
4. Respect for your spouse, family and others.
5. Be good godly parents.
6. Having the willingness to forgive and be forgiven which creates healthy biblical families and churches.
