Opening Video: Dad’s Duck Tape!
Happy Father’s Day!
Sermon: Finding Joy in the Journey through Family! Pt 3
Focus: We have decided to focus on the family this month of summer to celebrate and learn how to build healthy biblical families!
Thesis: We need to learn the keys to having a healthy biblical family if we want to fend off the attack of the enemy on our families. If we want to experience joy in the journey of life! Today we follow the teaching of the Bible and we honor our dads for Father’s Day. Dads are to be honored because God created dads with different qualities then mom’s but both are part of God’s plan for the health of the family.
Scripture Texts:
Deut. 6:4-8: “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Colossians 3:21: “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
I Thess. 2:11-12: “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, 12encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.”
Introduction:
Dad’s are unique in the way they interact with the family. Listen to some dadism’s sayings you may have heard your own dad say:
“Where you born in a barn?”
"Get in and get out."
"Quit talking about it and do it."
"You'd better stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."
"Don't make me turn this car around."
"Keep on plugging."
"It never hurts to ask."
“Do you think I am made of money?
“Do you think money grows on trees?”
“Don’t make me come up there!”
“Don’t get smart with me!”
“Who said life is fair?”
"Payback time, buddy!"
How important are you dad’s? Listen to this poem I heard a few years ago about dads:
Maggie’s Poem
Do you know, do you understand,
that you represent Jesus to me?
Do you know, do you understand,
that when you treat me with gentleness
It raises the question in my mind
that maybe He is gentle too?
Maybe He isn’t someone who laughs
when I am hurt.
Do you know, do you understand
that when you listen to my question
and you don’t laugh, I think,
“What if Jesus is interested in me too?”
Do you know, do you understand
that when I hear you talk about arguments
And conflicts and scars
from the past, that I think,
“Maybe I am just a regular person
instead of a bad, no good little girl
who deserves abuse.”
If you care, I think maybe He cares.
And then there’s this flame of hope
that burns inside of me for a while
I am afraid to breathe because it might go out
and I will once again have nothing
But a God who mocks and laughs
and ignores me.
Do you know, do you understand
that your words are His words?
Your face, His face
to someone like me.
Please be who you say you are.
Please God, don’t let this be another trick.
Please let this be real
Please.
Do you know, do you understand
Who you are?
Copyright Maggie Gross 6/23/94
Maggie shared this poem at a convention I was at. It was riveting and full of compassion and insight. Dads and those who are fatherly figures in the church listen again to her question, “Do you know, do you understand who you are?” Father figures do impact children and families!
T.S.: Dads are just as important as moms are in building healthy biblical family units. Today We are going to look at another key in creating healthy biblical families and it’s connected with being good godly parents:
I. The 5th key is you need to be a good godly parent.
a. A good godly parent is one who does the following: You have your spiritual life in order first and foremost – it means you are focused on being like Jesus. This means that your spiritual commitment directs your life and the way you respond to life issues and to parenting.
i. The key is you need to have a strong faith in God and be willing to pass it on to your kids. You need to be their teacher and role-model of the faith walk.
1. Quote: “A boy needs a father to show him how to be in the world. He needs to be given swagger, taught how to read a map so that he can recognize the roads that lead to life and the paths that lead to death, how to know what love requires, and where to find steel in the heart when life makes demands on us that are greater than we think we can endure.” ? Ian Morgan Cron, Jesus, My Father, The CIA, and Me: A Memoir. . . of Sorts
2. Pastor Robert Leroe from sermoncentral.com states this about being your children’s teacher:
a. Paul in the New Testament tells us dads to “bring up” our children “in the training and instruction of the Lord.” One father is worth more than a dozen schoolteachers. We need to ask ourselves: “Is my spiritual life worth imitating? Do I have a natural enthusiasm for things such as prayer, Bible study, church activities, and caring for the needs of others?” Spiritual guidance cannot be delegated to others. Our kids’ Sunday School teachers aren’t the ones entrusted with the responsibility of making our children followers of Jesus. Our kids’ relationship with God begins in the home. If our faith in Christ is genuine, it will be seen at work in our homes. The book of Proverbs tells us, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it” (22:6).
3. Moses in the OT stated in Deut. 6:1-9: 1These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, promised you. 4Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.5Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
a. Being a teacher and role model means you are intentional about your faith at home.
i. This means you teach your kids to read the bible.
ii. This means you teach your kids the value of worshipping God and honoring Him on His day.
iii. This means you teach your kids to pray.
iv. This means you share His story, and your story to your kids, then they pass on their story.
ii. A good godly parent understands that you are accountable to God for the way you raise your children.
1. One day you will stand before God and give an account of how you parented your kids and His kids.
2. Do you realize this?
iii. A good godly parent realizes raising your children for God has divine rewards and a divine purpose.
1. But to do this successfully you have to follow biblical teachings, character traits like self-sacrifice not self-gratification. As you model this for your children through a Biblical Lifestyle you exhibit being a good role model for your children.
a. See Ephesians 5.
b. Being a good godly parent is revealed through spending time with your children:
i. One Neat Dad from a Treasury of Bible Illustrations:
1. Did you ever notice in the TV family The Walton’s how the father was always available; or in Little House on The Prairie, how Laura’s dad was always there for the tight squeezes? Contrast these situations with the modern dad who is gone from morning to night. Things have certainly changed since the 1930s and the earlier house on the prairie days, maybe too much. Years ago, Dr. Charlie Shedd held a contest called “One Neat Dad.” He asked contestants to send in letters recommending their dad for this great honor. Here’s a list of the ten most appreciated qualities for “One Neat Dad.”
a. He takes time for me.
b. He listens to me.
c. He plays with me.
d. He invites me to go places with him.
e. He lets me help him.
f. He treats my mother well.
g. He lets me say what I think.
h. He is nice to my friends.
i. He only punishes me when I deserve it.
j. He is not afraid to admit when he is wrong.
i. Notice that qualities one to five are versions of the single word, “time!” Spell it—listen, spell it—play, spell it—help me, spell it—jump in the pickup … it all comes out in the same four letters, T-I-M-E. Time was the most appreciated trait of “One Neat Dad”!
ii. Fathers.com states the following about the necessity of father’s being dads to their children:
1. Studies have conclusively shown that children who receive higher levels of attention and interaction with their fathers are healthier and better adjusted than children without fathers or with dads who are uninvolved. According to a 1990 study, children with highly involved fathers are:
a. More confident and less anxious when placed in unfamiliar settings,
b. Better able to deal with frustration,
c. Better able to adapt to changing circumstances and breaks from their routine.
d. Better able to gain a sense of independence and an identity outside the mother/child relationship.
2. A Harvard university study spanning twenty-six years adds several more benefits for children of involved fathers:
a. They are more likely to mature into compassionate adults.
b. They are more likely to have higher self-esteems and grade point average’s.
c. They are more sociable.
3. Pastor Leroe notes, “Children need time. We devote time and energy to the people and things we value the most. Children conclude that, “If you don’t have time for me, then you must not care about me.”
a. “Dr. Dobson made a video for the Army many years ago, at the request of the Army Chief of Staff, General Wickam. The title was “Where’s Dad?” and it dealt with the failure of dads to spend enough time with their kids. I showed this video at an Officer Development training session. My Commander, who admittedly neglected his family looked at me as he was leaving and said, “Chaplain—I feel like I’ve just been beat up.” I replied, “Sir, that was my intention.” He later made General, but at a cost. An anonymous father wrote: "One Hundred Years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child."
4. Most of us will not be greatly surprised by these statistics. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to understand that involvement is critical.
a. I have been ssked for a quick answer on how to improve a father's relationship with their children; I say, "Spend more time with them."
b. Truth: “The simple, instinctive reaction of a committed father is to be involved in the lives of his children. Involvement is so basic that you can't even be an average dad, let alone a good or highly effective one, without it” (From Fathers.com)
c. Being a good godly parent means you are not satisfied with being a survivor of parenthood but you want to thrive as a parent – grand-parent.
i. Vernon’s book: Surviving Fatherhood
1.
ii. Instead you actually want to enjoy life and benefit from raising your kids.
1. Quote: “I have always had the feeling I could do anything and my dad told me I could. I was in college before I found out he might be wrong.” Ann Richards (45th Governor of Texas)
2. Quote: “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.” Billy Graham (Evangelist)
iii. You do want to make a difference in your children and trust me it will show up in your kids.
1. Especially protecting your children:
a. Pastor Bob Leroe from Cliftondale Congregational Church, Saugus, Massachusetts states this about protecting your daughter on her first date, “I’d like to start off with a Top Ten List for Dads: The Top Ten Ways to Intimidate Your Daughter’s Date When He Comes to Pick Her Up:
i. Sprinkle some dust on your daughter before she leaves. Explain, “It makes fingerprinting easier.”
ii. Challenge him at arm wrestling.
iii. Introduce him to your good friend Tony Soprano.
iv. Answer the door wearing a police swat team uniform.
v. Casually show him your collection of five shrunken heads, then yell up to your daughter, “Number six is here!”
vi. Come to the door bare-chested. Do a lot of flexing.
vii. Introduce him to the family by calling each family member to the living room using a whistle, then making them stand at attention and salute.
viii. Have the funeral home director over to measure the young man.
ix. Answer the door in a straight-jacket.
x. As they leave, speak into a walkie-talkie: “Subject is wearing khakis and a blue polo shirt, driving a green Ford.”
d. Let me add a list from Janis Long Harris, What Good Parents have in Common:
i. Good Parents…
1. Encourage their children and build their self-esteem
2. Communicate their love
3. Create a positive home atmosphere (that includes laughter)
4. Nurture spiritual values
5. Show consistent balanced discipline
6. Make their children proud of them
7. Create community -extended family, neighborhood, and church
8. Give children the feeling that they are safe and emotionally secure
9. Model a good marriage
10. Take time to spend time with their children
11. Teach financial values and skills
12. Give children responsibility
13. Are passionate about teaching values and integrity
Conclusion:
Summary of 4 points:
1. Build on God’s foundation and use His blueprints.
2. Commit and submit to each other and to the biblical family unit.
3. Be loyal and faithful to the family and to each other.
4. Respect for your spouse, family and others.
5. Be a good godly parent.
Illustration on what Fathers have been known to say: Here are some more saying I may have missed!
- Who made you the boss!
- I’m the king of this house!
- Don’t argue, I’m the boss!
- Wait till your mom gets home!
- Your mom won’t like it!
- This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.
- Quiet. I’m watching the ball game.
- Don’t forget to check the oil.
- Bring back all the change.
- How should I know? Ask your mother.
- Keep your eye on the ball!
- Don’t worry it’s only blood, just wipe it off.
- You are going and you will have fun!
- Who’s paying the bills around here, anyway?
- If you break your leg don’t come running to me.
- Don’t put your feet on the furniture. Your mother will kill you.
- Quit playing with your food.
- Be quiet! Can’t you see I’m trying to think!
- Why? Because I said so!
- You better get that junk picked up before I ground you for life.
- Just wait till you have kids of your own.
- Kids today have it so easy.
- You have to work for what you get in life.
- I was not asleep. I was just resting my eyes.
What do we need to know?
Answer: Both Parents matter and are a part of God’s master plan for the family!
Why do we need to know this?
Answer: When we know that our most important job is being a father or mother to our children and other fatherless or motherless children we become connected with God’s plan for this world and we know we will be rewarded for our sacrifice and service to our kids.
What do we need to do to be a good godly parent?
Answer: Connect with Jesus and imitate Him and teach your children the value of Jesus and His Church!
Spend time with your children!
Be determined to strive to thrive as a parent and not just survive parenthood!
Why do they need to do these keys to building a healthy family?
Answer: It will bring joy to the journey of life and your kids will one day called you blessed! You will also receive a well done by God in heaven one day!
Famous person thought on parenting: General Douglas MacArthur: “By profession, I am a soldier and take great pride in that fact. But I am prouder, infinitely prouder, to be a father. A soldier destroys in order to build. The father only builds, never destroys…It is my hope that my son, when I am gone, will remember me not from the battle, but in the home.”
Idea to try with your dad today: This Father's Day, salute your dad by rattling off some of his favorite sayings. Let him know you were listening. More important, take the wisdom of your father and live by it. Pass it on to the next generation. You'll soon see how your own children will benefit.
Dads thank you for being there for your family and kids – in appreciation of you we have gifts for you to grab on your way out!
