Find Joy Through Your Family! (pt2)
Opening video: being intentional about building biblical families!
Series: Find Joy in the Journey
Thesis of series: Joy needs to be experienced in the journey of life! But Joy, like any other attitude, can come and go. It is not guaranteed simply because we are born again believers. We must put ourselves in the places where experiencing joy is a possibility. We need to go after and find joy in our journey of life. What are you doing to cultivate joy? Remember joy is a choice!
Many get all caught up in our, so called, destinations but in the process, we never enjoy the moments in the journey of life to that destination. But God is more concerned with the journey, than the destination so we need to focus less on the destination and enjoy the journey today – we need to find the joy in the here and now.
Introduction to Series:
Studying about joy in Scripture, looking at verses which speak of joy, helps build an understanding of how to put ourselves in places where it is possible to find and maintain an attitude of joy in our journey of life. Scripture reveals it is possible to find laughter and joy in living life in a sin-filled world! The Apostle Paul teaches us this can be done!
Scripture Texts for 2019:
Phil. 4:4: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”
Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
John 15:11 “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
Video Illustration: Building Biblical Families! A Church profile!
Sermon: Finding Joy in the Journey through Family! Pt 2
Focus: We have decided to focus on the family this month of June to celebrate and learn how to build healthy biblical families!
Thesis: We need to learn the keys to having a healthy biblical family if we want to fend off the attack of the enemy on our families. If we want to experience joy in the journey of life!
Texts: Ephesians 5: 1-33: (play drama version have congregation listen to chapter)
1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children
2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.
4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient.
7Therefore do not be partners with them.
8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light
9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)
10and find out what pleases the Lord.
11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.
13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible,
14for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,
16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.
18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.
19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord,
20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives and Husbands
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—
30for we are members of his body.
31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Introduction:
It’s no secret that Satan has declared an all out war on Biblical Families. In the Garden of Eden, he disrupted the marriage of Adam and Eve with deception about God. In the very next chapter of the Bible, his influence was so great that a brother killed a brother and the killing and dysfunction in families has continued on thru time. From that moment in Genesis His focus has been on destroying Biblical homes.
Interesting fact from the Bible:
The Israelites were warned from worshiping and sacrificing to idols in OT by God over and over.
Two big deities they worshipped and sacrificed too were: By the way these same spirits are active and alive today in our time:
Molech – in this idol worship they sacrificed their children to this deity for blessings on their life – they performed child sacrifice! Just like today with abortion! This demonic spirit wants your unborn babies and children – it wants them dead! Not dedicated to the Lord but to this evil spirit! God judged Israel for this gross sin!
Ashtoreth – is another form of idol worship found in the OT which Israel was judged for by God. It is a masculine name for a feminine deity and is attached to what is happening with the gay movement today – with homosexuals and the transgender movement. The act of worshipping this goddess/god dealt with sexual sins it was a fertility god and goddess.
Baal – worship also linked with these two.
The sexual relationship between these false gods set an example for unbridled sensuality among their worshipers. Anal sex between male and male worshipers and male and female worshipers was viewed as an offering to the goddess Ashtoreth Some 1450 years after Leviticus, the Apostle Paul references pagan worship in Romans 1:26-27 (condemning homosexual behavior as sin), he blasts the same kind of fertility goddess worship in first century Rome.
Bottom line is these idol practices went against Biblical commands and teachings and God judged Israel for this sin – it’s core rituals would have attacked biblical family values and been a assault on biblical family and practices.
Point: The same spirit that ravaged Israel and ended up destroying it is alive and well in our society today doing the very same thing! And Hollywood – I call “Hellywood” is promoting these practices today – even seeking to boycott states and people and businesses who do not agree with abortion, homosexual lifestyles, sex out side of marriage and the like, they promote porn and the list could go on. These evil spirits are seeking to destroy biblical family units which will lead to the collapse of our society if not opposed with the truth of the Gospel.
Question: You may be thinking – Why the attack on Biblical family?
Why does Satan and his demonic forces attack biblical families – back then and even today? The following thoughts have been taken and adapted from an article from Chuck Lawless:
1. Bottom line - He aims in general to destroy what God has created. That’s just his destructive nature. If God had granted him permission to do so, he would have killed Job and wiped out all biblical families he could. Listen carefully the enemy is not your spouse – your wayward child or even other family members it is the influence and deception of Satan on other people. It’s a spiritual war not a fleshly war!
2. The enemy wants to destroy the witness of our marriage and biblical family units because they mirror the Gospel. Paul told us in Ephesians 5 that our marriages are a picture of the gospel of Jesus Christ. If the enemy destroys my marriage, I can no longer model the gospel by loving my wife Kathy as Christ loves the church. It would impact my kids and grandkids. It would tarnish the witness for Jesus.
3. Chuck Lawless states, “Satan hates our children. He delights when our adult decisions affect our children by turning them against God and the church. Sometimes we become the enemy’s tools to do that when we follow his ways more than God’s. The enemy wants to take out the primary place of disciple-making. The first place for making disciples is in the home, where parents are to disciple their children. When that home is messed up, the church’s disciple-making work is only harder.”
Summary of Sermon 1 and moving into Sermon 2:
I. The first key is God is the foundation on which the family is to be built on. He is to be our Master Architect. He is our firm foundation!
a. This is why Ephesians 5:1 tells us to imitate God – We need to be like him in the family and in the relationships within the family. We need to act and react like him. We need to use his blueprints and build on the foundation he has laid out for the family.
i. Ephesians 5:17 says it again “17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.
1. What is God’s Will for the family? To honor him and reflect his nature.
a. Let me make a point from our text today – about how we should imitate God follow His will – which means heed His warnings.
b. Ephesians 5:18 (NIV) 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.
i. Warning is don’t to get drunk because it leads to debauchery – let me make it clear – sin! You do things drunk you would never do when sober!
1. In 4 out of 5 suicide attempts alcohol was involved.
2. Alcohol is involved in 38% of the deaths caused by drowning.
3. Alcohol is involved in 38% of the fatalities on the road.
ii. Alcoholism has lead to people doing more evil things than anything else.
1. Sexual rape, incest, child abuse, domestic abuse.
2. A pole I heard on KTIS said that alcohol is involved in 75% of date rape cases on college campuses.
3. In 2/3 of the cases were there was violent behavior against family members alcohol was involved.
iii. In violent crimes such as homicide alcohol was involved over 67 % of the time.
iv. Families have been destroyed because of alcoholism.
c. Instead of being alcoholics we need to be spiritual-aholics.
i. We need to get high on His Spirit!
1. Through worship!
2. Through service
3. Through meditation
4. Through conferences
a. AACC
b. Conventions
c. Retreats
5. Ephesians 5:19-20(NIV) 19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
a. We need to sing praise to each other, we need to make music in our heart and really experience a high that is so much greater than alcohol or drugs can give.
b. We need to get high on giving God thanks.
c. It’s a Heavenly High!
d. This is the best high you could get on Saturday night anywhere in Chicago.
II. The Second key to a healthy family unit is spelled commitment to submission.
a. Submission means the act of surrendering to a decision or action of another.
i. Ephesians 5:21 (NIV) 21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
ii. We in the family need to submit to one another because this brings great highs and great joy to the family.
1. Ephesians 5:22 (NIV) 22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
a. Wives need to submit to their husbands as they would to the lord.
b. Ephesians 5:23 (NIV) 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
c. Yes, the husband is suppose to be the head of the family leading the way but he needs to be Christ like while doing it. He needs to be a servant leader like Jesus.
2. He said, “Not my will Lord but your will be done!”
3. Commitment a cornerstone to build a strong biblical family unit is defined by Gary Collins as “members in strong families are dedicated to promoting each other’s welfare and happiness. They value the unity of the family and are committed to one another and to the family group” (Family Shock page 78).
iii. Commitment to submission with each other brings unity and harmony to a family unit – each person is valued and encouraged – not there is still discipline in the family but it is done like God does lovingly and firmly!
III. The third key to a healthy family unit is loyalty and faithfulness to your marriage, family and spouse.
a. We must have strong moral values.
i. Ephesians 5: 3-10: 3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7Therefore do not be partners with them. 8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.
1. Infidelity creeps up on a marriage because of busyness, broken relationships and lack of time for one another.
2. The rise of the internet has put extreme pressure on the marriage units of today.
a. You Tube videos fill the internet with porn and sexual sins.
i. By the way You tube has been censoring some videos not the sexual sin ones the Conservative Videos!
b. There are eight reasons why people cheat on their spouse:
i. Lack of love: Feeling that your partner is not “The One” for you. No longer feeling passionate love or even falling out of love. Perceiving the relationship to be boring, dull or stagnant. “Lack of love is a powerful motivation — it’s definitely one of the stronger ones,” Selterman noted.
ii. Sexual desire: Feeling unsatisfied with the sex life you have in your relationship, perhaps because your partner has lost interest or you want to try something new that your partner can’t give you. “We also found people might be motivated to test the waters with regards to their own orientation or identity,” he said.
iii. Neglect: Feeling that your partner is not paying enough attention to you or not spending enough time with you. Not feeling appreciated.
iv. Situation: When you’re in a different setting or not quite yourself — perhaps when you’re on vacation, drunk or under a lot of stress — you may have a momentary urge to sexually explore that would not necessarily be part of your stable, everyday behavior. “Landmark events,” such as an upcoming 40th birthday, may also lead you to cheat. One study showed “9-enders“ — people who are 29, 39, 49 and so on — may seek an affair as they approach a new decade to try to find meaning in their life.
v. Variety: You live by the motto “You only live once,” so you want to try lots of sexual experiences with as many partners as possible.
vi. Low commitment: This is oriented toward people’s definitions of exclusivity, Selterman said. “Some people say they never discussed being exclusive with their partner or ‘I didn’t want to get too close,’ or ‘I don’t envision a future with this person,’” he noted. “They’re in a relationship, but they haven’t specified that the commitment level is high or the exclusivity is there.”
vii. Esteem: You feel sleeping with others will improve your sense of self-worth, signal your independence or increase your social status and popularity.
viii. Anger: You suspect or know your partner has betrayed you, so you want to get even. “The motivation is revenge,” Selterman said.
1. The above from https://www.today.com/health/infidelity-8-reasons-why-people-cheat-become-unfaithful-t121512#anchor-5Variety
2. Faithfulness to the marriage is a matter of honoring God’s way.
a. Exodus 20: 14: You shall not commit adultery.
b. Matthew 5:27-30 27"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
IV. The fourth key is Respect for your spouse.
a. You must want to please and support the other.
i. Ephesians 5:33: 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
1. Respect - a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
a. synonyms: esteem, regard, high regard, high opinion, acclaim, admiration, approbation, approval, appreciation, estimation, favor, popularity, recognition, veneration, awe, reverence, deference, honor, praise, homage
i. due regard, consideration, thoughtfulness, attentiveness, politeness, courtesy, civility, deference
b. antonyms: contempt
b. This means being a partner in the family. This means communicating in a positive way.
i. We in the family unit must have 10 positive remarks to every one negative remark we make.
ii. When couples go for counseling their number one complaint is communication chaos.
iii. Communication breakdown happens when respect is gone.
1. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs stated in his book Love and Respect this: You may remember how the Beatles sang, ‘All you need is love.’ I absolutely disagree with that conclusion. 5 out of 10 marriages today are ending in divorce because love is not enough. Yes, love is vital, especially for the wife, but what we have missed is the husband’s (and others) need for respect.” (page 1).
a. As a pastor…I wrestled with the problem (of divorce and broken families), I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle- marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grips” (page 6).
i. Respect and honor for your spouse is essential.
iv. Respect means supporting the other in dealing with the children. In other word’s mom and dad are always on the same side.
v. This means showing others that you love each other in public and private. This also includes the children.
c. Our society is becoming more and more disrespectful!
i. So, what do we do in these changing times? How do we deal with such great diversity? How do we respond in this culture that seems to be so divided and at odds with each other?
1. 1st we praise God! That’s exactly what the psalmist did in Psalm 33. Sounds crazy right?
a. 1Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him. 2Praise the LORD with the harp; make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre. 3Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy. 4For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. 5The LORD loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love.
6By the word of the LORD were the heavens made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth. 7He gathers the waters of the sea into jars; he puts the deep into storehouses. 8Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the people of the world revere him. 9For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm. 10The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. 11But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. 12Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance.
13From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind;
14from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth—
15he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.
16No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. 17A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. 18But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, 19to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. 20We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. 21In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. 22May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.
i. Lynn Malone from sermoncentral.com states this about Psalm 33” “It is a hymn of praise to God that celebrates God’s righteous character, creative power and sovereignty. These are all God’s qualities that make Him the only reliable foundation for hope and trust. With this psalm, the psalmist sets the tone of worship and reverence for the people of God, and we would do well to note that in the face of changing and challenging times, whether as a nation, as a church, or as individuals who are facing our own transitions of life, that God is where our hope lies. Our praise must reflect our reverence for God, our dependence upon God, and our hope in God.”
1. He adds: Sometimes I think we’ve lost a bit of reverence for God. Verse 18 says, “But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him.” The word “fear” in the Bible means “to tremble.”
2. It is used in connection with 3 experiences:
a. 1) To tremble with the thought of being punished by a holy God for our sins
b. 2) To tremble at the sight of the mighty acts of God
c. 3) To tremble with joy at the knowledge that people were being saved. Fear in this sense is simple reverence.
3. He adds: “One of the cultural shifts that gives me greatest concern is the growing lack of respect we see. We see a lack of respect for our leaders. We see a lack of respect for the diversity of one another’s opinions. Name-calling and hateful speech show an utter lack of respect. I’m doing a Facebook fast for the simple reason that I got tired of scrolling through my news feed only to encounter post after post of disparaging comments and articles aimed at destroying the humanity of people. It’s not limited to for/against. The name calling and comes from both directions. I remind us all that Christ died for all people, and our Methodist doctrine teaches us that all persons are persons of sacred worth. I fear our lack of respect for one another finds it’s roots in our lack of respect and reverence for God.”
d. Respect for God – The Bible and for each other must be taught in the home. Respect for others like teachers, police, and so on also needs to be taught and modeled if we want a respectful family unit.
i. Books which could help: Raising respectful children in a Disrespectful World! Rigby
T.S. This video will introduce our next family building block – Video Illustration --- the key forgiveness!
V. The 5th key to healthy biblical families is having the willingness to forgive and be forgiven.
a. Why should you forgive?
i. Charles Stanley gives us reasons why in his book The Gift of Forgiveness.
1. He states, “A person who has an unforgiving spirit is always the real loser, much more so than the one against whom the grudge is held.” He adds, “Un-forgiveness, by its very nature, prevents individuals from following through on many specifics of the Christian life and practically necessitates that they walk by the flesh rather than by the spirit “(17,18).
ii. He also expounds in his book on how un-forgiveness devastates the one who refuses to forgive. Let me summarize them.
1. When we choose to not forgive in one relationship we will discover that it spills into other relationships and it destroys them too.
2. When the unforgiving person stands around and waits for the other to make restitution he loses out on life because they never make any progress in their journey of life.
3. That sad fact is as they are standing around waiting for the other person they form fleshly patterns of behavior and incorrect thought processes.
4. Stanley states, “Regardless of how wrong the other person may have been, refusing to forgive means reaping the corruption in life. And that corruption begins in one relationship including the relationship with God, and works its way into all the rest” (25,26).
iii. Here are a few lines from Scripture in which Jesus talks about the grace of forgiveness and why it's essential:
1. "If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done." -- Matthew 6.14-15 GNTD
2. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in one day, and each time he comes to you saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him." Luke 17.3-4 GNTD
3. "And when you stand and pray, forgive anything you may have against anyone, so that your Father in heaven will forgive the wrongs you have done." --Mark 11.25 GNTD
4. "Do not judge others, and God will not judge you; do not condemn others, and God will not condemn you; forgive others, and God will forgive you." -- Luke 6.37 GNTD
5. "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, if my brother keeps on sinning against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times?' 'No, not seven times,' answered Jesus, 'but seventy times seven…'" -- Matthew 18.21-22 GNTD
6. "Drink it, all of you; this is my blood, which seals God's covenant, my blood poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." -- Matthew 26.27-29 GNTD
iv. John MacArthur gives us reasons why we need to forgive in his book and series, The Art of Giving and Receiving Forgiveness.
1. Un-forgiveness imprisons people in the past.
a. I always say don’t let the past dictate the future.
2. Un-forgiveness provokes bitterness.
a. The Bible calls it the root of bitterness in Hebrews 12:15.
b. He states, ‘Bitterness is the cancer of the heart.”
c. Forgiveness is the most godlike act that a person can do.
d. Forgiveness affirms unmerited love.
e. God promises his love to those who forgive others.
f. Forgiveness prevents hate.
3. Un-forgiveness results in discipline by God.
a. The unforgiving will not be forgiven by God.
b. Jesus makes it very clear that we have to forgive. This is the primary reason we are to forgive others because He said so.
c. Forgive one another like Christ forgave each of us.
Conclusion:
What do we need to know?
Answer: The biblical family is under attack! We need to see this truth and have our spiritual eyes opened by the Holy Spirit.
Why do we need to know this?
Answer: So, we know to fight for our families with the help of the Lord. We need the Holy Spirit to show us how to protect our families.
What do we need to do?
Answer: We need to start paying attention to minor and not so minor attacks on the biblical family through – places of education, media, Tv shows, radio, movies, internet, You Tube and yes even kids shows.
Why do we need to do this?
Answer: So that we protect our families from the lies of the enemy and so we stay rooted in being a biblical family unit.
Theodore Roosevelt said in 1917, “No other success in life-not being president, or being wealthy, or going to college, or writing a book, or anything else-comes up to the success of the man or woman who can feel that they have done their duty and that their children and grandchildren rise up and called them blessed.”
Chuck Swindoll said of the family, “Whatever else may be said about the home, it is the bottom line of life, the anvil upon which attitudes and convictions are hammered out. It is the place where life’s bills come due, the single most influential force in our earthly existence.”
Summary of 5 points:
1. Build on God’s foundation and use His blueprints.
2. Commit and submit to each other and to the biblical family unit.
3. Be loyal and faithful to the family and to each other.
4. Respect for your spouse, family and others.
5. Having the willingness to forgive and be forgiven creates a healthy biblical family.
