PRAYING LIKE JESUS: FORGIVE AND BE FORGIVEN—Matthew 6:9-15, 18:23-35
How do people deal with their sins?
Some will say, “What sins? There you go again, always trying to make me feel bad. Sure, I’ve made some mistakes; but after all, I’m only human. I’m basically a good person, and you have no right to judge me.”
Others admit they have made mistakes, but would rather not think about them. It just makes them feel bad about themselves. Why look to the past? Focus on the future, and try to do better.
Others try to make amends--especially religious people. They go to church, try to be nice, and do good deeds. Balance the bad with good. What they can’t balance with good deeds—Well, if you really, really sorry for what you’ve done… (Most people wouldn’t say that, but they sort of feel like if they are sorry enough, their pain can pay for their sins.)
Other religious people act like they have won the lottery. They think God’s grace gives them a free pass on sin. “God forgives, you know. We try, but if we mess up or sin because it works for us, God’s job is to forgive.”
Jesus tells us that sins must be forgiven, and can be forgiven—but we must ask for forgiveness. Read Matthew 6:9-15.
“FORGIVE US OUR DEBTS…”
If you memorized the Lord’s Prayer at some time in your life, you might have learned it as either, “Forgive us our debts,” or “Forgive us our trespasses.” Matthew has “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors,” and Luke has “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive everyone who owes us.”
When we think of trespasses, we usually think of sins like lying, stealing, swearing, or cheating. These are breaking a commandment or crossing a line. At a deeper level, they are an offence against a holy and righteous God, who cannot condone evil. Forgiveness is required.
Yet sins are not only wrong things that we do, but also right things that we fail to do. The Episcopal Book of Common Prayer says, “Most merciful God, I confess that I have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what I have done, and by what I have left undone.” Wrong things that we do are sometimes called “sins of commission,” and things we should have done but failed to do are “sins of omission.” The wife needed a hug, or the husband needed to be asked how his day went, but it didn’t happen. A son needed five minutes of undivided attention, or a daughter needed encouragement. A lonely person needed a friend, a poor person needed some help, or a ministry needed our support. There were opportunities to put in a good word or shine for Jesus, and we missed it. We missed the target of our lives being all they could be.
Sins of omission can be viewed as debts we owe to God. We owe God our obedience, our best efforts, and our acts of gratitude in worship and service. When we look at what our lives could be, and compare that to what we make of them, we come up short. We are behind with God—more and more each day—and we can’t catch up. We need his forgiveness.
Whether viewed as trespasses or debts, the only solution is for God to forgive us, so we can move forward with our lives and our relationship with him. That is what God does for us, through the death and resurrection of the Son, Jesus!
Colossians 2:13-14, “When you were dead in your sins…God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.”
When Jesus died on the cross, it was to forgive the sins of all who believe in him—past, present and future sins—every sin we commit and every righteous act we leave undone. Hebrews 7:27 says. “He sacrificed for their sins ONCE FOR ALL when he offered himself.”
If all of our sins—past, present, and future—are already forgiven, why do we keep praying, “Forgive us our debts”?
We don’t ask for forgiveness because our sins won’t be forgiven if we don’t specifically ask God to forgive each one. Martin Luther struggled with that. As a young monk, he would stay up half the night, going over his day, in fear that he would forget to confess one of his sins, which would be unforgiven, because he did not ask for forgiveness. It nearly drove him crazy, until he realized that forgiveness did not depend upon his confession of sin, but upon the righteousness of Christ, received by faith.
Confessing our sins is not a legal issue (thinking of God as our Judge); our “legal indebtedness” has been canceled. Confessing our sins is a relationship issue with our Father-God.
***When I was a kid, my parents were gone for the evening, and I experimented with making an electromagnet, using the transformer from my toy train. I tripped the breaker on the transformer, and I thought I had permanently broken it. When my parents came home, they asked how things had gone, and I lied, saying that everything was fine. It was a small lie, about an act that was foolish but not wrong, but for several days I was afraid they would discover my lie. Our relationship was strained, because of an unconfessed sin of lying.**
Unconfessed sin strains our relationship with God. Psalm 32:1-6 says, “When I kept silent [about my sin]…my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD’ — and you forgave the guilt of my sin.”
When we confess our sins, we are assured of our Father’s forgiveness. Our guilt and shame are gone, and we are restored to a joyful relationship with him. David describes the results of a restored relationship in Psalm 51:12, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”
When we are forgiven, we love our Father even more, and we want to make him proud. We can move forward with our lives, becoming all God wants us to be.
So we pray, “Forgive us our debts”—and then Jesus adds,
…AS WE FORGIVE OUR DEBTORS
Read Matthew 6:14-15. It sounds like a business transaction: The price of God’s forgiveness is forgiving others. If that is how it is, we are all in trouble, for none of us forgives perfectly. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are people in this group who are finding it hard to forgive someone. Does our inability to forgive mean we can’t be forgiven by God?
No, God’s forgiveness is not conditional; it is a gift of his grace, not earned or deserved. Paul says in Ephesians 1:7, “In Christ we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.”
So what does Jesus mean when he says that, if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. We should let him explain it, which he does later, with a story, a parable: Read Matthew 18:23-35.
If this were just business, why would the king forgive the debt? He gains nothing and loses a lot. And why would he care whether the servant forgives his fellow servant? It is not the king’s money.
The parable is not about business, but about life in a kingdom—the kingdom of God. The king is committed to establishing a kingdom of righteousness, mercy, and grace. If his servants want to live by the values of his kingdom, good; if they don’t, they won’t experience a life of mercy and grace. That is not only judgment, but reality.
***A pastor tells a story of two partners in business, who had a quarrel that led to deep resentment. They were members of the same church, and the pastor paid a visit to each of them. After some time, the first man agreed to seek reconciliation. When the pastor visited the second man, he found him full of hatred, adamantly opposed to forgiveness and reconciliation. The man had stopped going to church, so the pastor asked him, “Do you still pray?” The man said, “Oh yes, I am not a heathen; I pray in my home.” The pastor tightened the noose, saying, “Do you pray the Lord’s Prayer?” The man said, “Yes, we pray it daily.” Then the pastor said, “What do you do with the phrase, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”? There was a long pause, as the pastor prayed that God would melt the man’s heart. Finally, the man’s eyes flashed with anger, as he said, “From now on I will leave that part out.” At least he was honest! (The story is from Dr. Henry Bast, in a sermon printed by Words of Hope, 1954.)**
In a church I once served, a similar story had a different outcome. Sue was a young woman, who struck me as very uptight, closed off from people. She seemed to have a deep-seated fear of letting people know her. Finally, her story came out. She had been married to a military man, who treated her poorly, constantly putting her down, controlling and then abandoning her. She struggled to forgive him, but she could not let go of her feelings of injustice and anger. As she learned about God’s grace and forgiveness, however, she found the courage to share her story, and she began to let go of her anger and judgment. It was a joy to see the expression on her face change over a period of weeks, as God’s forgiveness took over her life. God’s forgiveness of her and her forgiveness of her ex-husband were simultaneously taking root in her life, setting her free to live again.
As we forgive others, we live in God’s kingdom of grace and mercy. If we refuse to forgive, we are in danger of cutting ourselves off from his forgiveness. That is why we pray so regularly, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”
So why do we forgive?
Not because it comes naturally; it doesn’t.
Not because people deserve it, for if they did, we would not need to forgive them!
Not because we understand why they did what they did, for if we can explain it away, there is no need to forgive.
Not even so we will feel better, even though we will. A man once told me that his brother-in-law had slugged him, and broke his jaw. The jaw hurt for a year, until he finally forgave the man who hit him. After that, the pain was gone. We might feel better after we forgive, but we don’t do it for that reason alone.
Ephesians 4:32 gives our motivation for forgiveness: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” We forgive because God has forgiven us. We forgive because “we get it”: God’s kingdom is a kingdom of God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness, and we want to live that kind of life.
Is there someone you need to forgive? Maybe they don’t deserve to be forgiven. Maybe you’ve tried, but you can’t find it in your heart to do it. Do it out of gratitude for God’s forgiveness of you. Do it because it will open you up to God’s grace. Do it because Jesus commands you to do it, and you trust him.
If you can’t do it right away, keep praying about it until the grace and mercy of God overwhelms your heart.
“Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”
