No Longer a Slave to LUST! (Part 1)
Series: No Longer Slaves
Chuck Sligh
March 11, 2019
NOTE: A PowerPoint presentation is available for this sermon by request at chucksligh@hotmail.com.
TEXT: 1 John 2:16 – “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.”
INTRODUCTION
JOKE: A girl talking to her grandma asked, “How old are you?” to which grandma replied, “Dear, you shouldn’t ask that question. Grownups don’t like to tell their age.”
The next day, the girl asked, “Grandma, how much do you weigh?”
“Honey, you shouldn’t ask grownups how much they weigh. It isn’t polite.”
The next day the girl was back with a smile and said, “Grandma, I know how old you are—62, and you weigh 160 pounds.”
Grandma was surprised and said, “My goodness, how did you know?”
The girl said, “You left your driver’s license on the table, and I read it. And I also saw on it that you got an ‘F’ in sex!” (PAUSE FOR POWERPOINT PICTURE.)
Now I should warn you that today’s sermon will be PG-rated, so if you have kids pretty young and in the service this morning, you might want to take them upstairs to K.I.D.S. church, or be ready to answer some questions you might not be prepared to deal with quite yet.
We’re in a series titled “No Longer Slaves.” Today I want to talk to you about lust, something that has more people in bondage to sin than anything I know of in this day and age. Some of you may be a little squeamish at this point, but if the CHURCH doesn’t deal with this issue honestly in our oversexed society, where will the Christian teaching on it come from?
This issue is an elephant in the room that some in the church would rather ignore, but everybody knows is there. How big an elephant is the lust problem today?
• Today sex in advertising is unquestionably THE most effective means of attracting attention to your product—because lust sells!
• It’s also one of the leading ways to attract a greater TV or movie audience; and a female pop artist who isn’t overtly sexy (think Lady GaGa or Katy Perry or Madonna), is considered an anachronism—someone only grandma goes to hear.
• And pornography has been big business for years now, estimated now at about $15 billion per year, compared to $10 billion a year Hollywood movies bring in.
• The porn industry makes more money than Major League Baseball, The NFL and The NBA combined.
That’s society; what about the church?
• Covenant Eyes claims that “50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women report being ‘addicted’ to pornography.” – Of course, those using Covenant Eyes would have a higher percentage overall since that’s why they’re using Covenant Eyes to begin with; but obviously, many believers struggle with lust.
• And even if the majority of you here this morning have not viewed pornography recently, I’d venture to guess that a high percentage of men and many women here today lusted this week.
So, we’re talking about something that’s a HUGE issue that we as God’s people MUST tackle. So, let’s tackle it; but it is so huge, it will take two sermons, so let’s get started right now:
I. LET’S BEGIN BY CONSIDERING WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT LUST.
First though, let’s define it. There are several Greek words in the New Testament translated “lust” in our Bibles. The main ones are the noun epithumía, which means “a strong desire of any kind” and the verb epithuméo¯ meaning, “to have a strong desire of any kind.” So, it’s not always bad.
The verb form is used in a good way as often as in a bad sense, such as in Luke 22:15 when Jesus said He “desired” (epithuméo¯) to eat the Passover with the disciples and He used it in Matthew 13:17 when He said that “…many prophets and righteous men have desired (epithuméo¯) to see those things which you see….”
And sexual desire within marriage—never referred to as lust—is itself not only NOT EVIL, but is, in fact, commended and even commanded. But when used to refer to sexual desires outside of marriage or between a man and a woman, the various Bible words are ALWAYS bad—no exceptions. When you look at the Bible as a whole, basically a good working definition for lust, or ungodly desire, is “Sexual desire you voluntarily allow to continue with anyone you are not married to.”
Lust is triggered primarily by the eyes in men and through the emotions in women, though both genders can also be prompted to lust by either trigger. When you see or feel that TEMPTATION to lust, that in itself is not a sin.
For instance, if you’re in a German grocery store and you accidentally pass the magazine rack and see a topless woman on the cover of one of the magazines, that, in itself, is not a sin. You can’t be responsible for seeing something you didn’t know was there. But if you CONTINUE to look and/or allow yourself to experience the sexual stimulation that comes with GAZING—THAT’S lust.
How serious is lust? Men, you may think that certainly one short gaze at a well-shaped or scantily-clad woman, or ladies, one brief fantasy about being with that man who makes you feel so feminine and alive cannot be SO bad. Well, listen to what Jesus says in Matthew 5:27-29: “You have heard that it was said by them of old…, ‘You shall not commit adultery’: But I say to you, that whoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
Whoa!—Looking at a woman with lustful desires is like committing adultery with her in your heart? If that’s the case, we’re in BIG trouble!
God’s intended plan is for a husband and wife to lovingly surrender their bodies to meet their spouse’s legitimate needs and bring joy, oneness and pleasure to one other. Whether male or female, when we fan lust by fantasizing lustful thoughts or reading racy romances or viewing pornography, we compound our guilt.
When we give in to lust in this way, and fulfill our sexual desires in ways outside of God’s intended plan, the Bible uses a number of negative terms:
• In Colossians 3:5-8a Paul says, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. 8 But now you must put them all away…” [ESV]
• In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 Paul says, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that you should abstain from fornication [which is the Greek word that refers to ALL forms of sexual immorality]: 4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; 5 Not in the lust of passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God: 6 That no one go beyond and take advantage of his brother… because…the Lord is the avenger of all such [things], as we also have forewarned you and told you. 7 For God has not called us to impurity, but to holiness. 8 Therefore, whoever disregards this, disregards not man, but God, who has also given to us his Holy Spirit.”
There are many other such Scriptures, but the thing to see is that God expects us as His people to put these evil things out of our lives after we come to faith in Christ; to die to them; to do everything we can do to rid ourselves of these sins. By the way, this sounds suspiciously like what today we call pre-marital sex, adultery and all the letters in the LGBT+ “lust categories” in our world today. The world may celebrate these things; God’s Word condemns them in no uncertain terms.
So that leads to the second of my two points today…
II. HOW TO BE UNSHACKLED FROM THE CHAINS OF LUST.
I’ve given a lot of thought to this issue, because what believers are doing isn’t working. I’ve seen how lust is a major stumbling block in many believers’ lives, especially men. And I’ve come to the conclusion that we have failed because we have forgotten to see that we cannot handle this problem alone.
I believe we need to fight the battle against lust on three levels:
1. First, we each have a PERSONAL responsibility to fight the battle against lust. – Let me give you a couple of ways to help you with this:
a. Number 1, learn to say “no” to lust triggers.
Men, when you see a topless woman on a magazine, in your flesh, you desire to continue to gaze at it and enjoy it, even as in your spirit I want to resist and turn away. Instantly, you have a CHOICE to continue to gaze and to enjoy the pleasure of sin for a season, or to obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit to turn away, and immediately put what you saw out of your mind.
That’s exactly the battle that James describes in James 1:14-15 – “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust has conceived, it brings forth sin: and sin, when it is finished,…brings forth death.”
Pray that we turn away from the SCORES of lust triggers we see every week. It’s a hard battle that every man struggles with, and women too.
b. Second, when you can, control your exposure level to lust triggers.
Now I can’t control my exposure to every lust trigger in life, but I can control some of them.
• When I know where the magazines in a grocery store, I can resolve not to go down that aisle.
• I can refuse to listen to music and artists spouting sexual themes, and disrespect of women and objectification of women’s bodies.
• When an explicit sex scene is on a movie or TV, I can turn it off.
GOD’S desire for my sanctification is more important than MY desire to know what’s going to happen in the rest of a movie.
No one could tell you better the danger of continuing to look at a lust trigger than David, who, when he saw Bathsheba bathing, was filled with lust, initiating actions that culminated in adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of Bathsheba’s husband. David paid a heavy price for his sin, all which began with a lust trigger he allowed to gratify in his mind. Having learned his lesson, he said many years later in Psalms 101:3 – “I will set no wicked thing before my eyes…”
Job said this in Job 31:1 – “I made a covenant with mine eyes. How then could I gaze at a young woman?” (Maybe you should post those two verses on top of your TV!)
Now I know lust triggers in women are often different, but ladies, you too should avoid the things that can trigger lustful thoughts in you and tempt you to lust.
You ask, “How far should we go with all this?” I say as far away from the line of sin as possible.
Illus. – An affluent, aristocratic woman was reviewing resumes from potential chauffeurs to drive her Rolls Royce. She invited only three applicants to her palatial home. She escorted each one individually to her driveway that had a brick wall beside it. Then she asked, “If you drove my Rolls, how close do you think you could get to that wall without scratching my car?”
The first said, “I can drive within a foot of that wall and not damage your Rolls,” and the second said, “I can drive within six inches of that wall and not damage your car.”
The third one said without hesitation, “Ma’am, I don’t know how close I could come to the wall without damaging your car, but if I were driving your car, I’d stay as far away as possible from the wall so as not to damage your car.”
Guess who got the job?
You see, many want to know where the line is between a second glance and lust so they can get as close as they can without actually sinning. But regarding sexual temptation, the point is not how CLOSE you can get to temptation without getting “scratched” or crossing the line or falling off the ledge, but to stay AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE! So first, we each have a PERSONAL obligation to fight this battle ourselves.
2. Second, husbands and wives have a responsibility to help their spouses avoid the chains of ungodly lust by meeting one another’s sexual needs.
Let me make a very important statement here: SEX IN ITSELF IS NOT BAD. In fact, sex was GOD’S idea. Just read the Song of Solomon if you think God is a prude. Listen, God is FOR sex, and lots of it!—but ONLY in the bonds of marriage of one woman to one man, and exercised in selflessness and love.
In fact, sexual love is indispensable in marriage and a person is not even married in God’s eyes until they have consecrated it with the act of sex.
If you believe that God is omnipresent, that is everywhere, you realize that God is even in your bedroom when you and your spouse are lovemaking. Do you realize that when He sees you, he is not shocked or repulsed? I liked what Gary Thomas said in Sacred Marriage. – He said God doesn’t blush when a husband and a wife are lovemaking—the very thing HE designed and ordained for procreation and pleasure and oneness. He watches with approval if it is done with selflessness and regard for your spouse’s needs, not just your own.
When you look at the scriptures, you see that meeting the sexual needs of your spouse is a responsibility to help him or her withstand the temptation to lust.
Look with me at 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 – “Nevertheless, to avoid sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Paul says that one reason for good sex in marriage is to help one other avoid sexual immorality in verse 2 and lust in verse 5. True, he does describe it as a DUTY, but not one to be done with a sense that your spouse is bad or carnal because he or she desires you sexually, but out of love and a caring desire to meet your spouse’s need and fuel the fire of intimacy and oneness and connection.
And listen, it goes BOTH WAYS. Men, Paul isn’t that you get sex whenever you want it, any way you want it. Verse 3 says that you are supposed to fill the marital duty for your WIFE, as well as her meet your need. Well, guess what? Fulfilling your wife involves helping her respond in her way. You know—the old oven versus the microwave issue. You have to romance your wife and make her feel safe and warm and special. That may mean more time in each lovemaking session, and maybe less frequently, and mostly about making your wife feel special and loved and cherished and honored. That may mean more time in each lovemaking session, and maybe less frequently. It’s all about each couple finding that balance that works for them to both be fulfilled, to both be cherished and loved, to both experience oneness, not tension.
So, to keep from being becoming a slave to lust, there’s a PERSONAL responsibility to fight the fight ourselves and a MARITAL responsibility to help our spouse win the battle against lust.
CONCLUSION
Next week, in Part 2, I’ll show that there’s a corporate responsibility the CHURCH has to help believers be released from the chains of lust, but for now I want to close with some questions:
1. Have you allowed yourself to become enslaved to lust?
Men, have you surrendered to continual lustful thoughts? Some of you started the Christian life fighting the battle against lust, but the battle became so intense that you just gave in and threw in the towel. When you did, you may have thought that allowing yourself to lust at will would take out the tension you feel.
But the fact is that those lustful thoughts have a need for fulfillment. It’s like drinking salt water—it temporarily quenches thirst, but shortly thirst returns much more intensely, and ultimately leads to more and deeper sin. When you surrender to lust, it flames your desires…and pornography, adultery or even worse, are all too often the eventual results. And then your marriage suffers, and you live under a cloud of guilt and regret and frustration and defeat. And then you cannot fully worship God in freedom and His Word stops speaking to you. Men, lust is dangerous! GET BACK IN THE BATTLE and discipline yourself to say “NO” to lust triggers before they lead you to lust.
2. And let me be clear: whether you are a man or a woman, a teen or an adult, you MUST have a 100% ZERO TOLERANCE of pornography! If you struggle here, getting an accountability partner and being honest with him or her are essential. Programs like Covenant Eyes have been found by many to be helpful with this.
3. Women, your struggle with lust is different, but no less real.
Do you fantasize about men who you think would treat you better than your spouse? Do you watch the type of TV shows and movies or read books and magazines that inflame lustful thoughts? Maybe you too struggle with pornography on some level or maybe it’s an online “virtual relationship” on a chat line. Many have never committed PHYSICAL adultery, but ladies, honestly, how different is a virtual relationship with a man in a chat room and a man’s relationship with a naked virtual goddess on the computer in the way they steal your heart from single devotion to your spouse? These things will defile you and damage your relationship with God and with your husband just as surely as they will hurt and defile men. You need to make some decisive decisions to cleanse your life and home of things that prompt you to lust.
4. And then, husbands and wives, you have a duty to lovingly help your spouse fight the battle against lust in this sex-drenched society.
That does not negate his or her personal responsibility to resist the temptation to lust. It’s a matter of lovingly helping someone who is your weaker brother or sister. Sex in marriage is not “dirty”—it’s sacred; it’s godly. May God help you to PERSONALLY fight your spiritual battle against lust, and EACH SPOUSE to lovingly help your own spouse to be free from lust.
5. There’s one more thing, avail yourself of God’s abundant grace.
My intention in this study has not been to add to a load of guilt and shame you already have. A pastor is called upon to lift high the bar of God’s standard of holiness and purity, and I’ve tried to do that today. But I know that NONE of us here this morning will ever attain in our daily lives. That’s why we need to be reminded that no matter what sin you have ever done, no matter how deep into the depths of depravity you have ever sunk, no matter how many times you come to God for forgiveness, God’s grace is always faithful and fresh and real. Avail yourself today, and every time you fail to meet God’s righteous standard, of God’s prescription when we sin: 1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins [that’s sins (PLURAL)], and there is no limit to the number of sins He will forgive], He is faithful [that means He will NEVER not forgive the repentant sinner to comes to God for grace] and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” [END WITH CALL TO THE UNSAVED.]
