Today’s message contains content that may not be appropriate for younger children.
So, if you prefer they not be in the sanctuary, now would be a good time to take them to Next Gen.
If you were approaching a ramp to the Interstate, but you were unsure if it was an on-ramp or an off-ramp, would you appreciate the fact that somebody posted a sign that said "DO NOT ENTER, or would you resent them for putting up a sign like that?
We have been focusing on the Ten Commandments these past few weeks.
That may sound odd in a series called Family Values, but these commands have serious implications for every family.
We need to be reminded that there is always a positive purpose behind every one of God’s commands.
There is always a reason when He says no.
His desire is never to cause us pain.
His goal is our protection.
He wants what is best for us.
It is wise to remember, that He knows more than we do.
He sees things from a much broader perspective.
And He can be trusted.
So, let’s get started and talk about Commandment #7.
Exodus 20:14 (NIV)
14 "You shall not commit adultery.
As I began working on this message a few weeks ago,
I knew that even the mention of this topic would cause pain to some.
I have had the unfortunate opportunity to witness the firsthand pain that is brought on to individuals and families whenever someone decides to commit adultery.
Adultery – voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and anyone other than their spouse
My heart goes out to those who have suffered the heartache and devastation that is brought on by a violation of this command that comes from God.
I know that for some, this message has the potential to resurrect some painful memories.
Many have experienced the anger, the guilt, the shame, and absolute heartbreak that accompanies this topic.
I am sincerely sorry about that.
And that’s exactly the reason why we cannot afford to sidestep it.
My hope is that we can help people avoid making a decision that will have such a catastrophically negative impact of their marriage, their family, and their own soul.
I also want you to know that the purpose of today's message is not to beat anyone up or resurrect a past that is already forgiven.
Our focus this morning is on the future, not the past.
As we have said, these past few weeks…
God has given us certain boundaries for our lives.
But human beings are amazingly creative when it comes to finding ways to try to live outside those boundaries.
People work so hard to master the art of justifying sin
and making certain decisions and behaviors acceptable.
We would all do well to read and heed the Word of God.
Rather than trying to adjust God’s Word to accommodate our lifestyle,
we should be careful to conform our lives to His written Word.
It is wise to allow His Word to shape and mold our lives.
His commands are for our good.
I want to begin by saying that God invented sexuality.
It is a gift from God.
It is a good thing - when it is enjoyed within the proper boundaries.
In some ways, sexuality is like fire.
CAMP FIRE – Split Screen LEFT
Who doesn’t love a camp fire?
Fire is wonderful, within certain boundaries.
But take a look at this house that is on fire.
HOUSE FIRE – Split Screen RIGHT
Suddenly, that which was good within the proper boundaries,
is absolutely devastating and catastrophic outside those boundaries.
Just as fire can either warm you or burn you.
Our sexuality can wreak havoc, if it is not controlled.
Water is a wonderful thing.
You can't live without water.
But too much water can kill you. You'll drown.
We have to be careful about how we handle the gift of sexuality.
Properly controlled and expressed within the context of marriage, it's a beautiful thing. It is fantastic.
But outside of marriage, it is destructive and detrimental to your health.
And the devastation can be felt on every level - physical, mental, social, spiritual, and emotional.
What God intends for good,
Satan wants to use to destroy.
God uses the gift of sexuality and intimacy to build a marriage.
But satan takes that same gift and he wants to pervert it.
He’ll try to twist God’s gift and use it to destroy a marriage.
Hebrews 13:4 (NIV)
4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Culture seems to view sexual morality as a thing of the past.
But God’s views on sexuality and morality are quite clear
and they have not changed.
Some people perceive it to be outdated and out of touch to even imagine living according to biblical values when it comes to matters of sexuality today.
The values of the world say basically anything goes.
Who cares what God says?
His way seems old fashioned to some.
The voice of culture is speaking so loudly.
The message is quite clear.
I want to do want I want.
I will deny myself no pleasure.
Why should I allow God to dictate my values?
It’s my life. I will do what I want.
Promiscuity is the norm of the day.
The secular media has done an outstanding job of desensitizing human beings to issues of morality.
That’s why we need an anchor.
We need to know the Truth.
Today I want to point you in the direction of Jesus and the timeless, unchanging Truth that is found in the Word of God.
We live in a world that is obsessed with sex.
It is no surprise that sex is used to sell everything from cars to hamburgers.
Some would say that the world has always had similar values.
It is just that we are more open to talking about our immorality today.
TV and movie screens have served as a window into bedrooms where people entertain themselves by watching one sexually explicit and immoral act after another.
In some ways, we have been desensitized.
I want to remind you today, that as followers of Jesus Christ,
we have been called to sexual purity.
You don't stand much of a chance of remaining sexually pure if you don’t set some boundaries and establish some clear Guidelines for Sexual Purity.
If you want to honor God’s standard when it comes to sexual purity…
1. Make a commitment to live according to God's standard (for moral purity).
Regardless of your past sin, past mistakes, or past failure, you can make a commitment today to uphold God's standard of sexual purity from this day forward.
That basically means you agree with God about what He says about sex.
The Bible says that sex is for married people only.
Sex is not before marriage.
Sex is not outside of marriage.
Sex is to be enjoyed within the confines of a faithful and committed marriage relationship.
The Psalmist asked the question…
Psalm 119:9 (NIV)
9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.
Are you willing to make a foundational commitment to live according to God's holy standard when it comes to moral purity?
The path to purity is not found in culture.
It is not found in the standards of society or secular media.
It is not found in whatever feels right in the moment.
The way to remain pure is by living according to God’s Word.
When you live according to God’s Word, you will know adultery is never an option, under any circumstances.
It is NEVER OK.
There is no justification for it.
There is no excuse and there are no exceptions.
There’s a great story in the book of Genesis.
It is the story of Joseph. Do you remember him?
The guy who had the technicolor dream coat.
His own brothers sold him into slavery in Egypt.
The wife of the captain of the palace guard attempted to seduce Joseph.
The full story is in Genesis 39.
Joseph could have made every kind of excuse to give in to that temptation…
I'm young,
I'm single,
I'm in a foreign country,
Who is going to know?
Everybody is doing it.
She wants it,
I desire it,
Why not?
But instead of giving in, do you remember what Joseph said?
He said, "I will not sin against my God."
The Bible says when he was tempted he turned and ran away.
That is a great strategy for dealing with sexual temptation by the way.
If you are being tempted to give in to sexual temptation – RUN!
Someone down at work is trying to get you to bed? RUN!
Have you been toying with the idea?
Thinking about the possibilities?
Maybe that is why God brought you here today.
The entire message for you is summed up in one word – RUN!
Don’t be afraid to let people know that you have chosen to live by God's standard.
That's a great first step toward protecting your marriage and living a life of sexual purity.
Let people know that you have made a commitment to be faithful to your husband or wife.
Make sure they know that your commitment is non-negotiable.
It doesn’t matter what culture says.
This is not a decision that is driven by your hormones.
You won't even flirt with the idea for a single second because you have made a commitment to God, to your spouse, and to yourself that you will live your life according to God’s holy standard.
2. Consider the consequences of sexual sin.
Remind yourself of the devastation, and the heartache, and the heartbreak, and the destruction that is caused by sexual sin.
Proverbs 6:32 (NIV)
32 But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself.
Sexual sin leaves permanent scars.
I can't tell you how much regret I have seen in regard to sexual sin
I know of nothing else that damages relationships and emotions like sexual sin.
It is foolish. Don’t do go down that road. Don’t even consider it.
Proverbs 6:26 (NIV)
26 The prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.
One translation says, "Adultery will cost a man all that he has."
Remember Esau? He was hungry that he sold his birthright, his inheritance, for a bowl of stew.
I have known people today who have given up a wonderful life all for few moments of sexual pleasure.
I've been married to my wife for over 33 years.
I have never been with another woman.
I don’t say that to brag, I just want you to know, by God’s grace, it can be done.
I intend to be faithful to my wife for as long as I live.
I have made that commitment because I love Jesus Christ.
I owe Him my life.
He gave His life for me.
And I love Him.
Jesus said, "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments."
I have made that commitment because I love my wife and kids.
I cannot imagine inflicting that kind of hurt on the people I love the most.
I have made that commitment because I love the church.
I would never want to do anything that would hinder the witness of the church or hurt the cause of Christ.
Finally, I have made that commitment because I fear the judgement of God.
There is a healthy fear of God that seems to be all but absent with people today.
Sin has consequences.
Its impact in broader than you might think.
You don't go down this path and get away with it.
You may think you do but you don't.
A man will reap what he sows.
One day you will stand before God and you will have to explain why you chose to do what He said not to do.
Hebrews 13:4 (NIV)
4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Adultery is ultimately about one thing.
It is about selfishness.
Adultery is not about love, it is about selfishness.
It's saying, "I'm going to put what I want ahead of what God wants.”
Adultery is rooted in selfishness, like most sins.
.
I don’t care what God says,
I don’t care what it will do to my husband or wife,
I don’t care what it will do to my family,
I don’t care what it will do to the other person’s family,
I don’t care what it will do to their spouse."
I want what I want.
It's basically saying forget God, His Word, my spouse, my family, and everyone else, I'm going to do what I want to do.
That is not love.
That is selfishness of the highest order.
Make a commitment to God's standard.
Consider the consequences.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NIV)
9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders
10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
3. Plan to preserve and protect your marriage.
Make your marriage a priority.
A healthy marriage is a powerful deterrent to adultery.
And healthy marriages don’t just happen.
You have to work at it.
When you stood before the pastor, or the judge, or whoever officiated at your wedding, you committed your life to another person in marriage.
It was a commitment to an exclusive relationship.
You were committing yourself to make them your priority.
Healthy relationships are built by each person deciding to put the needs of their spouse ahead of their own.
This kind of relationship is God honoring.
It is healthy and it will bring fulfillment.
But it doesn’t just happen.
You must nurture this kind of relationship.
It takes time and energy and commitment.
Laurie and I are best friends because we want to spend the rest of our lives together.
We talk about that.
Life is short.
We talk about growing old together.
Motorcycle?
We discuss what it will be like to be sitting there in the rocking chair, admiring one another, remembering the days when the other had hair and teeth.
Keep making deposits in your relationship.
It is the principle of time over time.
Make your marriage a priority.
You cannot be best friends with someone if you don't spend time with them.
The decision to preserve and protect your marriage involves many individual commitments.
Guard your thoughts.
Regardless of the temptation, the battle begins in your mind.
James 1:14-15 (TLB)
14 Temptation is the pull of man’s own evil thoughts and wishes.
15 These evil thoughts lead to evil actions and afterwards to the death penalty from God.
I wonder how it would change things if every dedicated follower of Christ would get serious about guarding their mind and avoiding temptation.
Sometimes we like to toy with temptation.
We try to see how close we can get to the fire without being burned.
There is wisdom in guarding our thoughts.
There is wisdom in avoiding the very appearance of evil.
There is a right way to handle temptation.
The battle with temptation and sin begins in your mind.
This is especially true in regard to sexual sin.
Do you think it make any difference in your life if you think about positive, good, happy, loving, things, instead of that which is lustful, dirty, trashy, and obscene?
Of course it does.
It's impossible not to be affected by what you let into your mind.
Romans 16:19b (NIV)
19b I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil.
It's sad that, for so many Christians, it is the exact opposite.
They are knowledgeable about what is evil and innocent/ignorant about what is good.
That's not God's desire for His people.
Be careful about the things you watch\read\listen to.
Be careful about what you let into your heart and into your mind.
Some of the things professing Christians entertain themselves with is indefensible from a scriptural standpoint.
There are things you shouldn’t do, and places you shouldn't go, and things you don’t need to see because they fuel thoughts and temptation that lead to sin.
If you are wise, you will stop the battle right there. Guard your thoughts.
Maintain healthy emotional and physical boundaries.
To assume that all is well between a man and a woman because there is no physical contact is a mistake. You're fooling yourself.
If you are looking to someone, other than your spouse, to meet deep emotional needs (understanding, support, sympathy) in your life, you could be headed for trouble.
There are certain warning signs you would be wise to heed.
Such as…
• When you are constantly thinking about that person…
• When you are looking for ways to be around that person.
• When you love talking about them…
These are signs you are headed for trouble.
Be willing to face the reality of what is going on in your life.
I'm asking you to take it seriously and understand it for what it is.
It's dangerous. You are playing with fire and it can destroy you.
It is wise to have certain emotional and physical boundaries in place.
Whatever you do, don’t make excuses or rationalize sinful behavior.
We are all pros at deceiving ourselves.
We can convince ourselves that just about anything is acceptable.
Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)
9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
Don’t make excuses or try to rationalize sin.
If the Spirit of God has spoken to you, please pay attention to that.
In most cases…
people know what they need to do.
They know if they have been making excuses.
You know what’s right.
Adultery is not about love, it is about selfishness.
Love will never fracture another person's family.
Love will never lead you to destroy your spouse and children.
Love will never lead you to violate 7th commandment.
And love will never lead you to break the heart of God.
Ephesians 5:3 (NIV)
3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity…because these are improper for God's holy people.
Not even a hint of sexual immorality.
It takes more than good intentions to remain pure.
You need a plan.
And please, don’t make the mistake of assuming that you are exempt.
1 Corinthians 10:12 (TLB)
12 So be careful. If you are thinking, "Oh, I would never behave like that"—let this be a warning to you. For you too may fall into sin.
Some of you are thinking this is a great message
but I've been married so many years,
and I love husband or wife so much,
it could never happen to me.
Don’t kid yourself.
Nobody is immune.
It can happen to anyone. That’s why you need to make some firm commitments apart from the emotion of the moment.
We all have a choice to make.
When it comes to the matter of sexual purity, will we live according to God’s standard, or will we choose to go our own way?
Sexual immorality is sin.
God has never changed His standard and He never will.
Sex outside of marriage is unacceptable to God.
It is sin.
Adultery is sin.
Homosexuality is sin.
Pornography is sin.
The list could go on.
God’s standards have not changed.
He has not compromised.
He is not influenced by the changing standards of culture.
And one of these days we will all stand before God and give an account for how we handled the incredible gift of sexuality.
If you're guilty of any of these issues, I have good news.
1) You can be forgiven.
God is prepared to forgive us of our sin when we repent.
To repent means we are not only sorry for our sin,
but we are sorry enough to change.
2) You have come to the right place.
If you struggle in this area, The Point is the church for you.
We love you enough to tell you the truth.
This is a community of forgiven sinners.
Nobody here is professing perfection.
We are not here to judge and condemn.
We also won’t wink at sin and pretend it is acceptable to our holy God.
Sex is God’s idea.
It is a great idea.
It is wonderful expression of love and intimacy between a husband and his wife.
But used improperly it destroys marriages, damages families, and ruins lives.
It damages self-esteem.
It creates misery and guilt, shame and regret, depression, sexually transmitted infections, and sexually transmitted disease.
God established these rules for our benefit.
If you don't play by the rules, you will get hurt.
I don’t want that to happen to you.
It doesn’t have to, if you listen to what God has said.
What has God spoken to you today?
Do you need to repent of sexual sin?
Do you need strength to turn away from temptation?
Do you need to forgive someone who has sinned against you?
Do you need to turn over the leadership of your life to and give Jesus Christ first place?
Do you need His help to forgive yourself?
Or are you ready to make a commitment to be morally pure for the rest of your life?
Do you need to make any changes in your life as a result of what you have heard today?
There is hope.
And that hope is found in a healthy, positive, personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
CLOSING PRAYER
