Breaking The Chains Of Unforgiveness
Scripture: Luke 17:3,4
Luke 17:3,4
There is much misunderstanding about what forgiveness really means. There's a story about a pastor who visited a man who had been active in the church, but, due to a dispute with a fellow member, he had stopped going to church. The Pastor reasoned with him at length about the need for forgiveness and returning to church. Reluctantly, he agreed, and then they prayed together. When the pastor was leaving, he followed him to the car and said, "Now, I’ll forgive him, but all I want is for that man to stay on his side of the church, and I’ll stay on mine."
Sounds like some of you all doesn't it? Let me tell you something: Unforgiveness will rob you and I of our friendships, Unforgiveness steals our joy, it keeps us focused on the past, it zaps our energy to the point that we can't even focus on the present.
How Do We Know if We Need to Forgive?
We need to forgive if we find ourselves thinking about an offense with no outside prompting. In other words, we bring up the subject to others or to ourselves for no apparent reason of how so and so offended me.
In otherwords, Somebody hurt your feelings. They were rude to you, they showed you no kind of respect. Church folks are the most touchy feely people i have ever seen. One of the common themes being spoken of in the church today is "Church Hurt" listen if being hurt by church folks causes you to lose faith in God, then your faith was in people not God.
I have never seen so many offended saints in my life. There's a difference between "church hurt" and being rebuked.
That's another message.
Jesus said in v.1 " "Offenses will certainly come, but woe to the one through whom they come!"
Another Translation says , "Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come.
Offenses will come … what you do with them will determine your future.
This is where Forgiveness comes in because If we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us.
We may say "But God you don't understand if they say one more thing to me I just may set it off up in here....they dont know who they messing with I will get em just watch.
Listen, Revenge is a trap of satan that will destroy you. Don't fall into that TRAP! Let God be your avenger let him fight your battle he said in Romans 12:9 "Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God's wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord" all you need to do is......… forgive and forget. Forgiveness does not mean you agree with what the other person did, it simply means you are releasing them to God.
Sometimes an offense doesn’t disappear overnight. If we have been truly wounded, it takes time for that hurt to heal. A tiny splinter in the finger heals much quicker than the incision from open heart surgery.
Yes some offenses have wounded our heart …but you need to allow the wound to heal. Give yourself time. Try to allow a distance between you and them, so that the wound will not be reopened and during this time, pray blessings over those who have hurt you and mean it!
Reconciliation isn’t always the case, but, If at all possible, as much as depends on you, the Bible says to live peaceably with all men. ( Romans 12:18)
We want to be peacemakers … not peacekeepers. A peacekeeper avoids confrontation at all cost to maintain peace, even at the risk of compromising truth. A peace maker will go in love and confront, bringing truth so that the resulting reconciliation will endure. He will not maintain an artificial, superficial relationship. He desires openness, truth and love. He refuses to hid offense with a political smile, He makes peace with a bold love that cannot fail.
How can I know when real forgiveness has happened: Forgiveness has taken place when we no longer dwell on the offense.
We must stop bringing up the offense to the offender, to others and to ourselves. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked,thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
If we have really forgiven someone, or covered it in love, we will not brood about it. Forgiving is a type of forgetting. Jeremiah 31:34 . . . declares the Lord, “ I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”
If God can forget why can't we?
Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake;And I will not remember your sins."
Literally NOT REMEMBER means: not to remember, to recall, call to mind. It will not be brought to remembrance, not remembered, not be thought of, not be brought to mind. It will not be record. God is saying I'm going to take an eraser and erase whatever you did!
Let’s look at Luke 17:3,4 so we can learn when we should forgive.
When Should We Forgive?
When we start the process to “rebuke him”
That word rebuke in the Greek is epitimáo which means ("to warn by instructing") while it can mean "rebuke" its fundamental sense is "warning to prevent something from going wrong" In other words it Correction, its Redirecting an individual to make sure that their situation is right and if the person takes heed they can build upon the warning.
Luke 17:3 says Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.
Forgiveness seldom happens if we don’t start the process.
The word REBUKE means: to confront him with his sin.
So the first step to forgetting is remembering! If the offense is serious enough so that it occupies our thinking, then we must mention it to the one who has offended us.
This is hard. That’s why Jesus said, “Be on your guard!”
Paul places the burden on the one who knows about the sin. Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
Another reason to forgive is found in verse 4 when the person comes to you and says, "I repent" the assumption that Jesus gives us is if they say, "sin against you 7 times saying "I repent" then you are to forgive them 7 times a day!
For some of you that's a hard pill to swallow because deep inside your wishing that they would just go away......
Why do they keep on showing up........
Why me Lord..........
When forgiveness is requested, we must not only say we forgive, we must act like we have forgiven that person. When a disciplined church member told the Corinthian church he was repenting, Paul made it clear what they were supposed to do.
In 2 Corinthians 2:5-8 The Message Bible
"Now, regarding the one who started all this—the person in question who caused all this pain—I want you to know that I am not the one injured in this as much as, with a few exceptions, all of you. So I don’t want to come down too hard. What the majority of you agreed to as punishment is punishment enough. Now is the time to forgive this man and help him back on his feet. If all you do is pour on the guilt, you could very well drown him in it. My counsel now is to pour on the love."
Did you hear that? Paul said, "POUR ON THE LOVE"
When we are obedient “we have done only that which we ought to have done”
Luke 17:5-10 5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” 6 And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and be planted in the sea’; and it would obey you. “Which of you, having a slave plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come immediately and sit down to eat’? “But will he not say to him, ‘Prepare something for me to eat, and properly clothe yourself and serve me while I eat and drink; and afterward you may eat and drink’? “He does not thank the slave because he did the things which were commanded, does he? “So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.’
In order for a relationship to be restored there must be forgiveness AND repentance. But, in order for our relationship to God to be right we must give the offenses to Him and trust God’s sovereign control over all circumstances whether that person repents or not.
If the person who has sinned against us is unavailable (maybe because of death) we must still forgive (or forget, i.e., treat the person as if they had not committed that sin).
Mark 11:25 “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.
Matthew 18:35 “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”
Since this grates on our human nature, Jesus proceeds to explode two objections to obeying this command.
Two Excuses for Not Forgiving
1.) We assume that we can’t do it “faith like a mustard seed”
Look at Vs.5-6
We don’t need more faith, we just need to obey a clear command.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
2.) We let our feelings rule “things which are commanded”
Look at Vs.7-10
Jesus tells a story about a servant. When he comes in from the field tired he doesn’t FEEL like fixing a meal for his master, but that is what is required. So we too should just do what is required even when we don’t feel like it.
How Can We Forgive?
Let’s remember that forgetting an offence does not mean that we have no recollection of it. In Genesis 41:50-52 Joseph is example it says, "Now before the year of famine came, two sons were born to Joseph, whom Asenath, the daughter of Potiphera priest of On, bore to him. 51 Joseph named the firstborn Manasseh, “For,” he said, “God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father’s household.” Joseph later talked about his troubles, but they did not consume his thoughts.
Failure to forgive makes us a slave to someone else’s sin. We become so consumed with wanting to be justified and even when we think we have, it still is not enough. So my question to you is: “Who is controlling who?”
When we fail to forgive, we are the one who is being controlled. Forgiveness is so powerful that when I forgive someone I break their power over me!
Do not hold on to something that is keeping you from having victory in your life. The Bible says we are to: “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” Colossians 3:13
