“Getting Ready for Christmas: Whose Child is This?”
Matthew 1:18-19
There can be no doubt that the story of Jesus’ birth begins with a Scandal.
Matthew is straight and to the point: while Joseph and Mary were engaged to be married, Mary became pregnant and Joseph was not the father!
Can you imagine how upsetting this must have been for Joseph?
Sadly, some of us might very well be able to relate to Joseph’s situation.
I have done a little investigating to find out how men generally react when confronted with information that their spouse or significant other has cheated on them, which, of course, is what Joseph initially thought Mary had done.
One thing that jumped out at me was this:
“Men often worry, when they’re cheated on, that if future potential partners hear a woman cheated on them, they’ll judge them.
In other words, they’ll think other women will believe the cheater just found a flaw in this man.”
Another is this:
“Men feel that it is very personal when a woman cheats and can seek revenge (which is why there are so many cases of men attacking and even killing their cheating partners).”
And it goes on and on and on.
Truth be told, it is absolutely devastating for anyone to find out their significant other has cheated.
Again, we know that Mary wasn’t unfaithful to Joseph, but Joseph didn’t know that.
What would you do if you were in Joseph’s shoes?
Scream and yell?
Leave and never come back?
Tell the world?
Get revenge?
Joseph had to feel utterly betrayed and humiliated.
And once Mary became visibly pregnant, people were going to talk.
So, what does Joseph do?
What was going through his mind?
On the one hand, he could do the norm and publically call off the marriage.
In doing this, he would have to go to the priest or into the public square and announce what happened and why he was breaking off the engagement.
Mary would be seen as an adulteress.
She would be publicly scorned and humiliated.
And the Law of Moses, as stated in Deuteronomy Chapter 22, lays down an even harsher penalty.
It says, “The city’s elders will bring the young woman to the door of her father’s house.
The citizens of the city must stone her until she dies.”
But even if Mary wasn’t put to death, she would forever be seen as a sinner in her community, a harlot.
No man would ever consider marrying her.
She would be ostracized for the rest of her life.
Her family, as well, would be disgraced.
And Joseph would have his revenge.
He would keep his good name.
He could move on, marry someone else and still have a happy future.
So, Joseph had a decision to make.
And I can’t imagine how tempting it would have been for him to do what the Law called for—to get his revenge, to ruin Mary and move on with his good name intact.
I mean, isn’t that what most anyone would do?
It would be completely understandable.
It wouldn’t make Joseph a bad man.
People would even feel sorry for him.
But, we are told in verse 19, “Because Joseph was a righteous man and did not want to expose [Mary] to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.”
Well, what good would that do?
People would still find out about Mary’s infidelities within a few months wouldn’t they?
I mean, how was she gonna hide it?
The truth would come out.
Not really…though…
What this meant was that Joseph would be taking the blame for Mary’s predicament.
Joseph was the one who would have changed his mind about the marriage.
And as it became obvious that Mary was pregnant, people would just assume that Joseph was the father and he had had a change of heart after having been intimate with his former bride-to-be.
This would make Joseph look like the bad guy.
Mary would be the one pitied.
She would be the one who could go on with life.
This is a radical thing Joseph is doing here.
This isn’t just divorcing her quietly and that’s the end of it.
This is reversing everything.
Joseph would accept the stigma and shame that Mary deserved so that Mary’s dignity could stay intact, even though, she had cheated on him!!!
Why would Joseph throw his life away like that?
Why wouldn’t he make Mary pay for her crimes?
Is this the New Testament’s definition of what a RIGHTEOUS person does?
They don’t seek revenge?
They turn the other cheek?
They forgive?
They show mercy?
They pay for the sins of others with their own life?
Sounds a lot like what Jesus would eventually do, does it not?
Sounds like what Jesus would teach us to do—how Jesus would instruct us to live our lives.
Remember those rubber bracelets people used to wear that had the letters WWJD on them—meaning What Would Jesus Do?
Sometimes I wonder how far away I have gotten from trying to live my life according to what Jesus would do.
A few years ago, I was at a Christian conference where folks were debating some issue.
Someone had just made the biblical case for what Jesus would instruct His Church to do.
The next person to speak said, “Let’s forget about Jesus for a moment. Here is what we need to do…”
Have you ever done that?
I’m sure I have.
I probably do it every day, one way or the other.
“Jesus said I must love my neighbors, but that doesn’t apply to the person next door, does it?”
Or, “Jesus instructs us to humble ourselves, but I’m not gonna follow that in this instance.”
Can you relate?
This is tough stuff, this following Jesus, is it not?
The Bible tells us not to gossip, but how many times have I ripped someone to shreds—right after saying, “Bless her heart, but…”?
Remember when Peter came up to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’
Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
In other words, EVERY TIME!!!
Do you always forgive or does your forgiveness have a limit?
There was a priest in the Philippines who carried the terrible burden of a secret sin he had committed many years before.
He had repented but still had no sense of God’s forgiveness.
In his church was a woman who claimed to have visions in which she spoke with Christ and He with her.
The priest however was skeptical.
To test her the priest said, “The next time you speak with Christ, I want you to ask him what sin I committed while I was in seminary.”
The woman agreed.
A few days later the priest asked, “Well, did Christ visit you in your dreams?”
“Yes, He did”, she replied.
“And did you ask Him what sin I committed in seminary?”
“Yes”
“Well what did He say?”
“He said, ‘I don’t remember.’”
Jesus’s forgiveness has no limits.
Jesus’ love has no limits.
When Jesus was on this earth He spent time with people from every walk of life.
One of his disciples, Matthew, had been a rotten scoundrel turn-coat tax-collector.
Many of His female friends had been prostitutes.
He even tried to befriend the religious elite—the self-righteous.
That, often, didn’t work out so good, but He tried.
And on the night that Jesus was arrested, He washed His disciples’ feet—even Judas’ feet, who He knew was about to betray Him.
On the Cross, Jesus forgave those Who were killing Him: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Christianity is really, really radical.
And it’s easy to forget this.
It goes completely against the grain of how our world normally works, and how we might normally react.
For God is love, and “Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
[It] does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.”
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary the word “righteous” is defined as: “Acting in accord with divine or moral law; free from guilt and sin, and morally right and justifiable.”
Matthew tells us that Joseph acted in the way he did because he was “a righteous man.”
So, to be righteous, in the Bible, is to be forgiving, merciful and willing to give one’s life for the sake of another.
Even if the “other” is undeserving.
Being righteous doesn’t mean we are perfect.
There is no way Joseph was perfect.
What it does mean is that our thoughts and actions are based on love, not on an unbending, cold, and heartless law.
When Jesus’ disciples were breaking the religious laws of the priests, and the priests were condemning Jesus and His disciples for this Jesus replied, “go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’”
If all of us could learn what this means, and live by it.
What kind of a Church would the world have to look up to?
How many more would come?
Biblically speaking, Joseph was a righteous man.
He didn’t condemn.
He didn’t seek to have his own way.
He didn’t judge.
He didn’t go for revenge.
Instead, he was merciful, kind, forgiving and willing to give his life for another.
And that is the way we are called to live as well.
I find it hard to do, and I find myself failing all over the place.
But our God is a forgiving God.
He is a BIG God.
He knows us better than we know ourselves.
And He loves us and ALL PEOPLE more than anyone could possibly imagine.
Can we forgive as we have been forgiven?
Can we love as we have been loved?
Can we show mercy in the same way God has shown mercy to us?
Will the world come to know the kindness and goodness of Jesus if we, like Joseph, are willing to humble ourselves and give our whole selves to God?
I think it’s worth a try.
What about you?
