TITLE: HOW TO HANDLE CONFLICT
TEXT: EXODUS 17:1-7
INTRODUCTION
- We’re continuing our study through the book of Exodus.
- As we study each passage, we’re asking the question, “What can I learn from this passage about honoring God?”
- Last week, we looked at the instructions God gave to Israel when He provided the manna.
- Israel was instructed to take only what they needed, they were instructed to take time to rest, and they were instructed to take time to remember.
- They learned to honor God by following the instructions He provided.
- You and I as Christians have an instruction manual, the Bible, God’s Holy Word.
- When you and I follow the instructions that God has provided to us through Scripture, we honor Him.
- Today, we’re going to look at how Moses handled a conflict that arose among the people, and what we can learn as Christians about the godly way to handle conflict.
- Conflict is never easy…
- As a matter of fact, it’s one of the hardest things we face as Christians.
- I remember years ago, when I lived in Machias, I had a roommate named Bryan.
- He was from California, and he was really annoying!
- He had a huge afro and was really immature, and he didn’t pay rent either.
- Anyways, he decided to go to a party one night.
- I didn’t know what he was up to, I just knew that he wasn’t back at the apartment when I went to sleep.
- Some time during the night, he came back to the apartment.
- In the morning, I went downstairs to make some coffee.
- To my complete surprise, there was a girl sleeping on the couch in the living room.
- I nearly had a heart attack…what was a girl doing in my apartment?!
- Turns out, Bryan had been at a party where they were smoking weed and drinking alcohol…
- Sometime during the night, the police showed up to break up the party.
- Of course, the kids at the party were all under 21, so a bunch of them took off in separate directions, not wanting to get caught.
- Apparently, the girl had left her car at the party and ran into the woods with Bryan and some other kids, but it was during late Autumn, so it was really cold outside.
- Instead of heading back to get her car, Bryan decided to bring this girl back to my apartment.
- Of course, I was angry, so as soon as Bryan woke up, I gave him a piece of my mind!
- We were Christians, and I was trying to keep a good testimony.
- By bringing that girl back to my apartment, people would obviously think the worst, and it would ruin my testimony.
- Yet Bryan insisted that it was the right thing to do because she didn’t have anywhere to go, and if they stayed in the woods all night, they’d freeze to death.
- After yelling at him for a while, we drove the girl back to get her car.
- But Bryan and I weren’t getting along…
- We were fighting with each other a lot after that.
- He didn’t think he’d done anything wrong, and he didn’t understand why I was so upset.
- So, we continued to be in conflict after that because we didn’t resolve the issue…
- Instead, one issue turned into two, then three, then four, until there were several issues, such as him being afraid of all the guns I owned.
- Eventually, he moved back to California, but before he did, we made peace with each other.
- Obviously, I hate conflict, and in that case, it escalated quickly and became an ongoing conflict.
- Thankfully, in Scripture, God tells us several ways and gives several examples of how to resolve conflict in a Biblical way.
- Here in Exodus 17, we see Moses taking the right steps to handle a very difficult conflict with the Israelites.
- So, let’s look at 3 ways that Moses handled this conflict.
FIRST: MOSES LISTENED TO THE COMPLAINTS- VS 1-3
- I used to work at Bangor Savings Bank as a teller.
- It was a good job and I worked with some great people.
- The customers were usually great to work with as well, but every once in a while, I’d have to deal with a difficult customer.
- I remember one day a gentleman came in who did not have any bank accounts with us.
- He was a bit rough looking, but the reason is because he owned his own carpentry business and had been out working all day.
- So obviously, he’d had a long day.
- Anyways, the check he brought in to us was a rather large check, but the person who wrote the check had an account with us, and the funds were in their account.
- So, no problem…when a non-customer came in to cash a check drawn on Bangor Savings Bank, we could cash it for them.
- However, since he was not a customer, and the check was over a certain amount, I was required to ask for several pieces of information from him.
- The reason is because of federal banking regulations we had to follow.
- The problem is that the screen that pops up asks a lot of questions, starting with the person’s Social Security Number.
- Well, this gentleman didn’t want to provide it, and started complaining that he shouldn’t have to provide it since he didn’t have an account with us.
- It also asked for his driver’s license information, which he also didn’t want to provide.
- So not only could I not identify this gentleman, but because he wouldn’t provide any information to me, I couldn’t cash the check for him.
- He got really angry and started to cause a scene.
- Finally, my boss came back from lunch, and she knew him, so off he went to her office to complain about me.
- Obviously, I was just trying to do my job, so this bugged me, but I knew I had done nothing wrong, and my boss was going to tell him that…
- Instead, she came back to the teller line with him and told me to go ahead and cash the check, without getting the required information from him…
- He had a smirk on his face, and it really bugged me, but I had to follow the boss’s orders, so I put in what info I could and bypassed the other screens.
- So, I tell you that story because I had to listen to his complaints, remain calm, and keep my composure, even though I would have rather thrown the check back at him and told him to take it somewhere else.
- It was a part of my job, whether I liked it or not.
- Here in Exodus 17, we find Moses putting up with not just one person, but a whole group of his people, coming to him with their complaints and stirring up conflict because they didn’t have water.
- Remember, shortly before the events of this chapter, the people had crossed the Red Sea, then traveled 3 days journey into the wilderness.
- When they ran out of water, they came to a body of water, but they couldn’t drink the water because it was bitter.
- So, they complained to Moses, saying he brought them to the wilderness to die.
- Moses brought the problem to God, and God took care of it by cleansing the waters for them to drink.
- So, God has already provided water for them once at Marah.
- That’s why it’s so surprising that here, they are in need of water once again, and instead of believing that God can miraculously provide water for them again, they instead complained to Moses.
- This time, though, their complaining is stronger than the grumbling they did last time…
- The word for “contend” or “chide” in vs 2 actually means “quarrel”, so the people are quarreling with Moses!
- “Give us water that we may drink!”
- That’s quite the demand, isn’t it?
- I think part of the reason why they were so quick to complain this time is because there was no sign of water anywhere close to them.
- The first time it happened, at least there was a body of water in front of them, at Marah, but this time, there isn’t.
- After Moses listens to their complaints, he says, “Why are you tempting the Lord?”
- The people should have known better because Moses has already told them twice that their complaints against him are actually against the Lord, and they need to stop.
- Unfortunately, they hadn’t learned their lesson yet.
- But Moses does the right thing, by pointing their eyes back to God, the One who they were really complaining against.
- Instead of repenting, we see in Vs 3 the people once again accusing Moses of bringing them to the wilderness to die!
- They said, “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?”
- Poor Moses…in the people’s eyes, he couldn’t do anything right!
- Yet he kept going strong, fully obedient to the Lord’s calling on his life.
- And he understood that in order to be a good leader, he couldn’t just ignore the people’s complaints…
- They were coming to him with a legitimate concern because there truly was no water.
- As their leader, he had to listen, even though it was a direct attack against him and his leadership.
- It didn’t stop their complaining yet, but it was the correct first step to take.
- What about us as Christians?
- How should we handle the complaints of others?
- I think the best way to answer this question is to look at Scripture.
- In 1 Kings 12, the story is told about Solomon’s son, King Rehoboam.
- I’m just going to summarize for you what happened.
- When he became king, the people came to him and complained that Solomon “…made [their] yoke heavy…”
- Since Rehoboam was now king, they asked him to “…lighten the burdensome service of [his] father, and the heavy yoke which he put on [them]…”
- They promised that if he did so, they would serve him.
- Instead of listening to their complaints and responding with a servant’s heart, as the elders advised, he instead listened to the advice of his friends, who told him to respond harshly, and promise them he would make their yoke even heavier.
- This was the tipping point for the people, so after his unwise response, the nation became divided between the Northern kingdom of Israel and the Southern kingdom of Judah.
- If Rehoboam had truly listened to their complaints and listened to the counsel of his elders, this probably wouldn’t have happened, at least during Rehoboam’s reign.
- The problem is that Rehoboam responded in pride, not wanting to give in to their request, and not willing to follow the wise counsel given by the elders.
- So as Christians, you and I would do well to genuinely listen when someone complains to us instead of completely disregarding them.
- That doesn’t mean we have to agree with them, or do what they say, but with a humble heart, take the time to listen.
- Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
- It’s not easy when people come to you with their complaints, especially if they’re complaining about someone or something you care deeply about.
- But sometimes, you’re just the person they need to talk to that will help them feel better or help them see the bigger picture and stop complaining.
- Don’t take people’s complaints against you or someone you’re close to as a personal attack…
- Listen to them, provide godly counsel, and pray for them and whatever the issue is.
- That doesn’t mean go gossip to others about it, and allow their complaint to get bigger and spread further…
- It also doesn’t mean that their complaints will go away…
- But by taking the time to listen, you have the opportunity to point them to Christ, just like Moses pointed the people to God.
SECOND: MOSES BROUGHT THE COMPLAINTS TO GOD- VS 4
- When I was a kid, I fought with my brother and sisters a lot.
- We’d fight over what to watch on tv.
- We’d fight over toys.
- We’d fight over video games.
- We’d fight over friends.
- We’d fight over who got to use the phone, because at the time, cell phones for kids were unheard of!
- My sister Zena, especially, loved to talk on the phone with her friends for long periods of time.
- Then, when I had my first job, I bought my own computer and internet, but of course my brother Steven and sister Esther were always fighting with me about wanting to use it when I wasn’t there.
- So, there were a lot of fights with a lot of complaining…
- When we realized we weren’t getting anywhere with each other, one of us would end the fight by yelling, “I’m telling mom and dad!”
- Then there’d be a race to get to mom or dad first, so we could pour out our complaints to them.
- That’s because we knew mom and dad would be able to take care of it for us, one way or another.
- That’s what we see Moses doing here in vs 4 after he listened to their complaints…he brings their complaints to God.
- Obviously, listening to their complaint and pointing them to God hadn’t solved the conflict.
- So, Moses is right to take the next step and bring this problem to God directly.
- Vs 4 says he cried out to God!
- That’s what the people should have done in the first place; turn to God in prayer.
- But Moses is their leader, and he sets an example for them here by turning to God with this problem.
- Isn’t it interesting that before the people complained to him about there being no water, Moses wasn’t worried about it?
- Obviously, he knew there wasn’t any water, but he wasn’t complaining about it because he knew that God could and would take care of it for them.
- Then, when they came to him, he still wasn’t worried about it because instead of saying, “I know we don’t have any, and I don’t know what God is going to about it…” he instead says, “Why are you tempting the Lord?”
- Moses hadn’t lost his faith in God.
- He knew that just like God cleansed the water at Marah for them to drink, then provided manna and quail for them to eat, that He could provide water for them once again.
- After they accused him of bringing them out of Egypt to die, he goes to the Lord, but notice he’s still not worried about the lack of water…
- Instead his prayer is, “What am I supposed to do with these people? They’re going to stone me!”
- Moses realized that the real problem behind the peoples’ complaints was their lack of faith in God.
- They were letting a small problem turn into a big problem, so much so that they were turning against their leader!
- Just think about how ridiculous that is…
- God used Moses to lead them out of slavery, and to deliver them from Pharaoh and the Egyptians.
- Moses loved them and was willing to lead them.
- Yet they were ready to stone him.
- That shows you just how quick people can turn on you.
- So, what about us as Christians?
- If we’ve listened to someone complain, and we’ve pointed them to God, but they still insist on complaining and keeping a conflict going, what do we do?
- The Apostle Paul dealt with this on several occasions, but one such occasion was with the Church in Corinth.
- He wrote a letter to them, the book of 1 Corinthians, and it’s a book of conflict.
- There were issues happening in the church, with people complaining and causing disunity.
- People were splitting up into separate groups…some followers of Paul, others were followers of Apollos, others of Peter, and many others…
- They also were suing one another, going before unbelievers and complaining about one another, all because of unresolved conflict…
- There were a lot of other problems happening too, a lot of conflict…
- So, when Paul writes his letter to the Corinthians, listen to how he starts it in the third and fourth verses of chapter 1…
- “Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God always on your behalf, for the grace of God which is given you by Jesus Christ;”
- So, he began his letter with prayer, and was letting them know that he had been praying for them “always”.
- Then, he closed the book with prayer.
- 1 Corinthians 16:23, 24 “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. My love be with you all in Christ Jesus. Amen.”
- So, the Apostle Paul, just like Moses, knew that the best place to go to deal with the complaints and conflicts of their people was to go to God in prayer.
- Jesus Himself commanded this, in Matthew 5:44 when He said, “…pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.”
- That doesn’t just apply to our enemies that are unbelievers…it applies to anyone, including fellow believers.
- So, when there’s a conflict, and someone keeps bringing their complaints to you about whatever, don’t take it upon yourself to try to save the day…
- No, bring those complaints to God and wait for His response.
THIRD: MOSES RESPONDED TO THE COMPLAINTS GOD'S WAY- VS 5-7
- When Moses brought the complaints to God, he received an immediate response.
- He was told to bring his rod and the elders with him to the Rock in Horeb and God promised to be there and give them water.
- Remember, the people had just been complaining, and accusing Moses of bringing them out to the wilderness to die; they were ready to stone him!
- Now, as the elders go with Moses, they will be witnesses and will see firsthand that God is with Moses, and the accusations being hurled against him are completely false!
- Notice that God said, “I will stand before you there on the rock in Horeb.”
- The people were complaining so much that they had forgotten God was with them.
- Now, God is going to show them once again that He is with them, and He is their Provider.
- So, He commanded Moses to strike the rock, once, and promised him that water would come out so that His people could drink.
- That would seem odd to the elders and the people because obviously, a rock does not contain water inside of it.
- Even if it did, there wouldn’t be enough to satisfy the thirst of over 2 million people!
- The only way this could happen was through a miracle…
- Even though God’s way might have seemed odd to the people, and even impossible, Moses still responded to their complaints God’s way…
- That’s because Moses had not lost his faith in God.
- Moses knew that God could do anything, and he believed God when He said, “…water will come out of the rock, so the people may drink…”
- So, he struck the rock, and the water came flowing out.
- But this was no ordinary rock.
- We’re told in 1 Corinthians 10:4 that, “…all [Israel] drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them, and that Rock was Christ.”
- Adam Clarke explains it this way.
- “This rock signified Christ and is therefore called a spiritual Rock…He being smitten with Moses’s rod, and bearing the curse of the law for our sins, and by the preaching of the Gospel crucified among His people…from Him floweth the spiritual drink wherewith all believing hearts are refreshed.”
- So, God was teaching the Israelites His provision, but also showing future generations that He would be struck when they hung Him from the Cross, but through His Sacrifice, He would provide Living Water to all who turn to Him; salvation to all who believe!
- Notice in Vs 7 that Moses names the place where the rock is…
- Massah and Meribah…
- Massah means “testing” and Meribah means “Contending, or quarreling.”
- I believe this was another way for Moses to respond to the people’s complaints, and that God wanted him to use these names…
- Now that God has provided the water for them, even though they didn’t believe He could, they would now be reminded of their lack of faith in God every time they went to or talked about this place.
- “Testing” and “Quarreling…”
- As a matter of fact, God brings these names up to Israel several times in Deuteronomy.
- In Deuteronomy 6:16, Israel is told, “You shall not tempt the LORD your God as you tempted Him in Massah.”
- In Deuteronomy 9:22, Israel is reminded that “…at… Massah… you provoked the LORD to wrath.”
- And in Deuteronomy 33:8, God is referred to as, “Your holy one, Whom You tested at Massah, and with whom You contended at the waters of Meribah.”
- So, since Moses listened to the people’s complaints, brought the complaints to God, and responded to the complaints God’s way, the conflict was over, and the people had as much water as they wanted.
- As Christians, there will be times when we must respond to complaints God’s way, and God’s way might not seem to make sense to us.
- For example, Paul and Barnabas were very close as they traveled the world, spreading the Gospel, but even they had a conflict.
- On their first missionary journey, John Mark joined them as a helper, but he didn’t stay for the entire trip, abandoning Paul and Barnabas for some reason.
- Later, Paul and Barnabas wanted to go out on a second journey to visit the churches they had established.
- Barnabas, however, wanted John Mark to join them once again.
- Paul refused because John Mark had not stayed with them on the first trip.
- So, we’re told in Acts 15 that there was a sharp disagreement between Paul and Barnabas.
- This probably wasn’t a falling out…it was a strong disagreement between friends and co-laborers…it was on a personal level, and neither of them took it personally, because it isn’t mentioned again after this.
- Anyways, some people might look at this and think, “Paul and Barnabas really should have worked this out. They should have involved other leaders and resolved it, so they didn’t have to separate. Maybe Paul shouldn’t have been so stubborn…”
- However, that’s not the case…I believe both Paul and Barnabas responded to this conflict God’s way…
- If you don’t believe me, just look at the outcome of their separation…
- Instead of one missionary journey, two happened…one with Barnabas and John Mark and the other with Paul and Silas.
- Later, John Mark wrote the Gospel of Mark, which was probably a result of the ministry of Barnabas to him.
- Paul, on the other hand, had the opportunity to plant more churches.
- Both groups of men were doing God’s work, neither of them held grudges against one another, and eventually, Paul calls John Mark was a “fellow laborer.”
- Near the end of Paul’s life, he asked Timothy to bring John Mark with him to visit because “Mark was helpful to him in his ministry.”
- Brothers and sisters, conflict is never easy to deal with.
- As human beings, we still struggle with complaining, and sometimes we let things escalate quickly into conflicts.
- But if we take the time to listen to the complaints rather than hide them or ignore them, we have a chance to point the person or persons to God.
- If that doesn’t work, and the conflict continues, then we bring the complaints to the Lord in prayer, trusting that He will either solve the problem quickly, provide direction on how to proceed.
- Then, if we respond to the conflict the way God wants us to, the conflict will be resolved God’s way and in God’s time.
CONCLUSION:
- In closing, I’d like to quote the words of the Apostle Paul once again.
- In 1 Corinthians 1:10, he said, "Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.”
- As Christians, our Lord and Savior doesn’t want us to be divided.
- He wants us united in Him.
- Yes, there will be disagreements and yes there will be hurt feelings sometimes…that’s because we’re not perfect.
- However, as the family of God, we’re in this together.
- We love one another, we forgive one another, and we pray for one another.
- If you’re struggling today because of a conflict with a brother or sister in Christ, and there are hard feelings or unforgiveness, I encourage you to give that over to the Lord this morning.
- He is more than capable of handling it for you.
- Lastly, if you’re here today and you’ve never given your life to Jesus Christ, I encourage you to do so today.
- He died on the cross for the sin of the world…all our sin…
- He did it because He loves the world and is not willing that any should perish.
- We deserve hell because of our sin, but Jesus died so that we can be forgiven and part of His family forever.
- Then He rose again on the 3rd day, defeating death, defeating sin, and offering salvation to the entire world.
- Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, turn to Him today, and become part of His family, a family that is united in Him.
- Let’s pray.
