OPEN: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qn9aSZ7uPXI – video clip from “This Is Us” of conversation between Katie and a woman she’s helped. See Footnote)
APPLY: That clip came from a scene in a popular TV series called “THIS IS US”. Katie (one of the main characters in the show) is helping a girl who has been hurt and is struggling with her self-image. What caught my attention in their conversation was this phrase:
“I can’t believe it… I finally have a best friend.”
ILLUS: About 10 years ago there was a famous study called Alameda County Study overseen by a social scientist from Harvard. It tracked the lives of 7,000 people over nine years, and what they found was:
The most isolated people (people with few relationships in their lives) were 3 times more likely to die than those with strong relationships. In fact, people who had strong friendships but bad health habits (such as smoking, obesity, or alcohol) lived significantly longer than the people who had GREAT health habits… but isolated.
As one person commented on that study said “In other words, it is better to eat Twinkies with good friends than to eat broccoli alone.” [Ortberg, John (2008-04-01). “Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them” (p. 33). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.]
The point is this… we need friends. We desperately need friends - people who are there for us and people who care for us. And God knows that. In fact, the very 1st problem God saw with His creation had to do with loneliness.
When God had created stars and the plants, and fish and the birds – every time He created something He’d say “that’s GOOD”. And when He created Adam, God declared: that’s “very good”. But then God after He created Adam… God said: “It is NOT good that the man should be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)
ILLUS: A study done about 12 years indicated a very sad truth. The American Sociological Review cited evidence that Americans have a 1/3 fewer close friends today than they hid a couple of decades ago. Even more disturbing, the data seemed to indicate that the number of us who had NOBODY to count as a close personal friend had more than DOUBLED. (editor@heartlight.org July 11, 2006)
It is NOT GOOD that a man, or a woman, should be alone - and God knows that. That’s why Jesus created the Church. Ephesians 5:25 tells us that “Christ… loved the church and gave himself up for her…” And Jesus died to establish the church, in part, so that we could have a place where we could be with other Christians and build friendships.
You see, Christianity is built on friendship. Jesus said: “You are my FRIENDS if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you FRIENDS, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:14-15
When you and I became Christians (when we took our faith seriously and did what He commanded) THEN we became friends of Jesus. And that’s the pattern Jesus intended us to have in the church - we are HIS friends… and we so we should be friends of EACH OTHER.
That’s why Hebrews 10:24-25 tells us – that as Christians – we should “… consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another...”
But that doesn’t always happen. Too many folks see church as just a time when they do “religious stuff”. They sing a few songs, pray a few prayers, take communion, listen to a sermon… then get out the door quick enough to beat the other churches to the local restaurant.
NO!!! That’s only part of what we’re supposed to doing as a church. Acts 2:42 tells us that the early church dedicated themselves to 4 things when it started out: they “… devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching (preaching) and FELLOWSHIP, to the breaking of bread (communion) and the prayers.”
You see, part of the purpose of church is building FELLOWSHIP - developing friendships.
So John 15 tells us that Jesus is OUR friend. And then other scriptures explain that NOW Jesus expects us to use HIS friendship with us as a model of how we should develop friendships with each other. That’s why our church motto is this: “Where Visitors Become Friends And Friends Become Family.
(Cool, huh? I thought that one up all by myself… or else I stole it from someone. I can’t remember which).
Now, with that thought in mind - I want to shift my focus to talk about what I want to talk about today. Today’s Sermon is designed to set things up for Next Sunday. And what is Next Sunday? It’s Friend Sunday. We have special cards you can hand out to your friends and neighbors to invite them to be with us.
Now I read somewhere that as Christians mature in their faith they end up having fewer and fewer friends OUTSIDE the church. In fact, after a while, almost everybody you know… goes to church! So, if that is true (and it is)… you might ask: “How can I possibly find new people to invite to Church?”
(wait for someone to ask that) Well I’m Glad You Asked!
The way you find new people to invite to Church is by creating NEW friendships.
ILLUS: I spent a lot of time this week trying to come up with a way to help to illustrate this truth… and as I was thinking, a Bible story came to mind – the story of Jesus and a man named Zacchaeus. You remember Zacchaeus? He was a “wee little man”. And I got to thinking that the best way to bring that story to your minds was to have you sing that children’s song about him… including the hand motions. Sing with me:
“Zacchaeus was a wee little man, and a wee little man was he.
He climbed in a Sycamore tree, for the Lord he wanted to see
And as the master passed that way He looked up in the tree
And He said ‘Zacchaeus you come down.
For I’m going to your house today. Yes I’m coming to your house today.’”
Now when Jesus visited Jericho that day, it was just a few days before his trial, conviction, and crucifixion in Jerusalem. And most scholars believe that when Jesus visited Jericho that day, Zacchaeus was the ONLY person he met there.
Now Zacchaeus was not a popular man. He was short, disliked and despised by almost everyone in town. He’s climbed up in a tree to see Jesus – because nobody would let him be at the front of the line. But here we have Jesus walking through Jericho for the last time, stopping beneath that sycamore and - never having met Zacchaeus before - calling him by name.
Then Jesus goes to this guy’s house and eats with him. Nobody who was anybody would do that. Zacchaeus was a worthless reject of humanity. But Jesus did that. By His every word and action, Jesus declared that Zacchaeus was important to Him. And Jesus gave Zacchaeus something everybody craves: acceptance.
Jesus made Zacchaeus a friend.
Now, let’s get back to that little video clip we watched earlier from the show “This Is Us” (Just to be clear - this is NOT a Christian TV show. There’s things in it that would make us some of us uncomfortable. But in spite of that, it show people outside of Christ as they really are).
What we saw in that clip was Katie giving a troubled girl acceptance. You can see the disjointedness of this girl’s life… she says things like: “I couldn’t call my family.” How sad is that? She’s messed her life up so badly that her family just doesn’t want to talk to her anymore. And they don’t seem to care what happens to her.
And then she says “I know you think I’m insane.” Why on earth would she say that? Why? Because she’s bracing herself for the rejection she’s always experienced. She is shielding herself from the ridicule that she’s certain Katie will heap on her for her foolishness.
This girl is buried in self-doubt, shame and guilt. Her family wouldn’t understand what’s happened, and she thinks she’s NOT normal (insane).
But notice who Katie responds: She simply asks “Do you want to talk about it?” She’s telling this girl that it’s safe to talk to her. “I’ll listen to you” is what Katie is trying to get her to understand. And after the girl explains what has happened, THEN Katie tells her story. She opens up about how SHE had experienced shame and guilt. And then she tells her “I don’t think you’re insane.”
Essentially Katie was telling this girl: You are normal. In fact, I’m just like you. As the title of this sermon series says “THIS IS US”. We’ve all had the same kinds of problems.
Here’s the deal. You can’t reach out to people for Jesus if you can’t admit that you are just like they are. IF you play this game of being righteous and having it “all together” you’re not going to be much of a witness. People need to hear that you’ve struggled just like they have. They need to believe you care about them, and that you understand what’s happening in their lives, and that you really want to listen to what they have to say.
Just like Katie asked the girl in the video: “Do you want to talk about it?” - that’s what we need to do. We need to really listen to people without jumping all over them for how they’ve messed their lives up. And sometimes that’s really hard because some folks have done such stupid things in their lives that it’s hard NOT to tell them how stupid they’ve been. But if we can do it right, we stand a chance of breaking down the walls they’ve had about God.
You see, there’s a lot of people out there who get mentally beat up by others all the time - it’s not just holier than thou Christians who do that. Self-righteousness comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes. God simply calls us to be different. He calls us to realize that the lost of this world truly hunger for someone who cares enough to take some time and listen to them.
Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”
And, in a way, that’s what the Bible tells us about Jesus. Jesus became like us… He took on flesh and experienced a life just like ours. As Hebrews says “… we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:15
Jesus came to be our friend. To be God in the flesh and experience the same temptations, and frustrations and pains … ultimately to endure the worst thing imaginable - DEATH - so He could be like us. Jesus came to be… like us.
He came to change our lives. To give us peace. And to show us – by His death, burial and resurrection that we mean something to God.
Jesus came to be our friend.
So on FRIEND DAY you’re inviting folks to come and experience the friendship at this church. And this is a great church. I brag on you all the time. I tell people “This is a church where people come to heal” because you really care for folks. It doesn’t matter who they are, or how they dress, or what they’ve done – all you care is that they’re here to worship Jesus with you.
But more importantly, you’re inviting them to meet your BEST friend… Jesus. And when they meet HIM… it’ll change their lives.
Don’t try to be a salesman. Don’t try to talk people into church or argue away their doubts. Just let them know how much Jesus means to you. That’ll make them thirsty for what you have. Just tell them, what a friend you have in Jesus, and let Him take care of the rest.
CLOSE: I want to close with this story by syndicated columnist Deborah Mathis. She wrote about the day she was passing through the busy Union Station in Washington D.C..
The first thing she noticed was the noise and the hubbub of sounds. The public address announcer calling out arrivals and departures. There were pagers, and walkie-talkies, and cell phones. You could hear horns honking, machines clinking out change, and babies crying. And there were voices from EVERYWHERE.
A security guard was yelling at a man about to enter a forbidden area. Three women were standing by a bench arguing with one another, and the man in line in front of her was agitated and pacing around.
BUT then, she heard something that caught her attention. She heard someone singing.
(Singing softly) "What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear;
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer."
And slowly but surely a change came over the crowd. The noise began to subside as you could hear:
"O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer."
Mathis noted that the quarreling women quit yelling and quietly took their seats. People began to noticeably relax. And as the lone voice sang the remaining verses of the 150 year old hymn Mathis realized she was singing along now. So were the three women who had been bickering. And so were several others.
The man in front of Mathis said: "Nice, huh? I don't even believe in Jesus, but that's nice."
(from an article by Rubel Shelly).
Just the knowledge that you could have a friend in Jesus has an impact on people. You see, you can talk all you like about how nice a church building you have, or how pleasant a congregation this is, or how handsome your preacher is… but in the end, the only thing that matters is that people come to realize that you truly believe in this one concept: you have a friend in Jesus.
INVITATION
Footnote on video: We snipped one section from the center of the video that had an “OMG”
