Isaac Ties the Knot (Genesis pt. 41)
Text: Genesis 24:34-67
By: Ken McKinley
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Now last week we saw how Abraham had sent his servant to get a wife for Isaac, and in the first part of our text, we get a word for word recount of those events from the servant. And to a lot of people, this might seem like a really strange way to get a wife. Today, when a guy doesn’t start looking for a wife until he’s dated her a few times.
But it wasn’t always that way. About 100 – 120 years ago if a guy wanted to get married it was a whole different scenario. Here’s how it would work: A girl who was marrying age… her parents would set up their parlor with a couple of chairs, and maybe a little table and a piano or something like that. Then they would make a list of potential husbands who they felt were qualified to be considered for their daughter, then they would send out a letter to these potential suitors and invite them over. The young man would put on his best clothes, comb his hair, and take a bath and go over to the girls house and he would be seated in the parlor. The dad would sit there and the mother would sit there and the daughter would sit in the back. The parents would list all the qualities of their daughter and she would play the piano or recite poetry or something along those lines, and then the parents would interview the potential husband with lots of questions.
Questions like: Are you a Christian? Do you love Jesus and serve Him faithfully? What are your intentions with our daughter? Do you have a good job? Are you family minded, career minded? How do you plan to balance work and home? Things like that… They would also feed him some nice little snacks that usually the daughter baked or cooked, to showcase her cooking skills. Then they would send the young man home and let him know if he was still in the running. If he was still in the running, that didn’t mean that he got to go out on a date… it meant that he would come back for another interview and another, and another, until the parents were satisfied that he was right for their daughter.
It was a long, formal process in the girls house, under the leadership and direction of her mom and dad. And the idea was that the young man would have to come into the girls domain, and play by her families rules. But then something happened in the early 1900’s… Women’s Magazines came on the scene. By 1920 Ladies Home Journal had over 1 million subscribers. So now, instead of young bachelorettes taking their cue of what courtship should look like from their parents and the church, they started taking it from Ladies Home Journal. And those magazines had a different idea of what femininity and ladies fashions were than what was traditionally held. And these magazines started telling ladies how to break the commandments rather than keep them.
Also in the 1920’s America started to become more urbanized. Everyone was moving to the cities, and because everyone was moving to the cities restaurants started popping up and movie theatres, and other forms of entertainment. And what happened was young women started to be taken out of their domain for courtship and taken to these entertainment venues. They were taken out of their domain into the young man’s domain.
In the 1930’s automobiles hit the mass market, and that allowed the young men to drive up in the driveway, honk the horn and get the young lady out of the house and away from her parents (particularly her dad) as quickly as possible.
And because she’s going out on the town, she gets to thinking that she has to look a particular way, and her style of dress becomes less and less conservative, because she doesn’t want this potential mate of hers being distracted by the other females who are also out on the town.
It wasn’t really too bad though yet, because most people still held to Biblical principles and Biblical morality… At least until the 1960’s… then we really went downhill. That’s when the feminist movement hit full steam, and the sexual revolution broke out. And then what happens… is in 1973 abortion is leagalized, because we’ve now got all these young ladies going out with these young men, and they aren’t waiting until marriage, and they are getting pregnant and we have young women who don’t want the burden of a child, and we have parents who don’t want their daughters burdened with a child, and we go down this sinful spiral at an even quicker rate than before. And people start wondering why marriages don’t seem to last like they used to, and young men and young women find that they are incompatible so in 1974 our benevolent government creates something called “no-fault” divorce laws, which makes it easier to divorce.
And we have a whole cultural meltdown in less than 100 years.
But that’s not what we see in our text… so let’s look at it.
In verses 34 – 49 the servant recalls the story. And we’re introduced to this guy Laban, we met him last week in verse 29. And this guy Laban was a real character. He’s what we would call an opportunist. He’s one of those guys who’s always trying to make a quick buck and pull one over on everyone else. And we’re going to see a lot of him in the chapters to come. And so when his sister Rebekah comes home with $15,000 worth of jewelry, it gets his attention.
And so Laban invites this servant into his home, and puts his camels up and brings some food out and tells the servant to sit down and stay awhile. But you notice that the servant was on a mission here. And he say’s “I’m not doing anything until I take care of the business I was sent here for.” I told you last Sunday, he was a wise servant. And that’s where the servant recounts the story and he glorifies God and gives God all the credit for his success. And basically what this servant is doing is saying, “Here’s what God has done. He brought me here. He brought me safely over 400 miles, and set it up perfectly so that my master’s son could get himself a wife. So what are you going to do about it Laban? Are you going to try and resist God? Are you going to be part of the problem or part of the solution?” Now the reason the servant is talking to Laban, is because Laban and Rebekah’s dad has died, and so Laban is the head of the household. And so the servant tells Laban all this, and then leaves the ball in his court, and initially; Laban says, “Alright… it sure sounds like it’s a God thing. Go ahead and take Rebekah.”
Now notice what the servant does in verse 52… He worships God. There’s no mention of him thanking Laban. Instead he bows himself down and worships God for His faithfulness and goodness. After he worships, he pays what’s called the “Bride Price.” That was a certain amount of money and gifts that were given to the bride’s parents, or in this case, her brother and her mother. And this wasn’t only an ancient Hebrew tradition, we find it mentioned in the Code of Hammurabi, the ancient Babylonian law maker. And it’s interesting in the Code of Hammurabi, there was a stipulation that if the bride didn’t bear the husband any children, then her family had to give the money and gifts back… that’s probably why we see Laban say what he says in verse 60 – that she may become the mother of thousands and ten thousands.
But before that; he tries to get Abraham’s servant to stay a little longer. How many of you have ever tried to do something for God, and it seems like there are always things that get in your way? Whether it’s someone wanting you to do something, or something that needs to be taken care of? And these little distractions keep you from doing things for the Lord. I mean; you tell yourself that you’re going to spend a morning in prayer and the phone rings 10 times, or you commit yourself to going to church and there are 20 other things that all of a sudden need to be done on Sunday morning. Well this servant isn’t going to have any of that. He’s committed to his purpose and he has his priorities right. And he basically says, “Listen, I’m not going to stick around here. I need to go right now!” So Laban calls Rebekah and asks her and she says she’s willing to go and be Isaac’s wife, and off they send her.
Now they head back home and verse 63 tells us that Isaac had gone out to spend some time in prayer and he sees the servant and Rebekah approaching in the distance. And once she figures out who he was, she covers herself with her veil. The only time Hebrew women wore veils was when they were getting married. They weren’t like Muslim women who are required to cover their faces. The only time they were required to wear a veil is when they were a bride about to marry. That’s actually where our tradition of the bride wearing a veil comes from.
So Isaac’s 40 years old when he marries Rebekah. The get married, they fall in love and have twins later on. And that brings us back to dating and courtship. The common practice of today is dating. A guy and girl go out with one another, with no supervision, and they find themselves in situations that might be inappropriate, where intimacy might take place… that’s the common practice of today. But I think that courtship is a better way to go. When MariJo and I got together it was kind of a mixture of both. Our parents set us up with one another… we had an arranged marriage. But also we were allowed to go out, but I really think that good old fashioned, pure courtship is a better way to go. A relationship that’s overseen by family and friends, and the church… people who actually care about the young couple. And yes; I think pastors should be involved, particularly pastors with a well-worn Bible and a well-kept rifle.
It should start with courtship, and then move on to engagement, or betrothal as the Bible would say, and then finally marriage. And here’s the reason why… no one loves a young lady or young man like their parents do. Yes, over some time, the young man or young lady will grow to love their spouse, but initially, the parents love is far greater than the potential spouses love. And then when you throw the pastor into the mix, whose looking over the family like a shepherd who loves and cares for his flock. Then the chances that the wrong person is weeded out and the right person is found increase exponentially.
Ok… so real quickly; I’m going to list a few principles for marriage that our found in our text. 1st of all – you’ve got to go to the right places to find a good husband or wife. Don’t just pick a random guy off the street. Don’t pick up a girl at a club and propose to her. You want a good and godly man, he’s not going to be down at the bar. He’s going to be in church. If you want a godly woman, she’s not going to be at the night clubs. Find them in church.
And yes, I’ve heard the stories about the Christian girl who meets the non-Christian boy and they get married and he gets saved and they live happily ever after, but in most instances, it doesn’t work that way. That’s the exception, not the norm. It’s a bad idea to marry someone who isn’t a believer.
2nd, marriage isn’t something for boys… and by boys I mean immature young men.
Isaac was 40; he works, he has a place to live, he’s able to provide… and on the flip side, Rebekah wasn’t a slouch either. She willingly hauled water for 10 camels, she listened to and remembered the servant’s prayer, she was willing to leave her home and go be with her husband. That was the original principle. The two become one flesh, they leave their father and mother.
One last thing I want you to see, and then we’ll close. And that is the providence of God. God puts His people in our lives for a reason. God gave this servant to Abraham and Isaac. He was a man who prayed and worshiped the Lord. He was wise, and he was committed and devoted. God sent Rebekah to the well at just the right time. Even Laban… sure he’s materialistic and a schemer, but in the end he agrees and sends Rebekah on her way. So obedience is essential to things working smoothly. Even scheming Laban falls in line when it comes down to it. Had he not agreed to send Rebekah on her way, his life would’ve been miserable for a time. Had the servant not been so faithful, bad things could’ve happened to him. If you don’t believe me, read the Book of Jonah. God’s will – will be done, but things will go better for us, if we are obedient to Him.
Alright?
Let’s Pray!
