Peter Falk (1927-2011), who died just a few years ago, will always be remembered for the role he played as an eccentric, sloppy detective in the TV series called “Columbo.” More often than not, he played dumb, but that put his subjects off guard, and he was always able to solve his cases as a result.
In real life, Peter Falk had a glass eye, resulting from an operation to remove a cancerous tumor when he was 3. In spite of his missing eye, he was a high school athlete. In one story he liked to tell, after being called out at third base during a baseball game, he removed his eye and handed it to the umpire.
“You'll do better with this,” he said. (Bruce Weber, “Peter Falk, Rumpled and Crafty Actor in Television's ‘Columbo,’ Dies at 83,” The New York Times, 6-24-11; www.PreachingToday.com)
Sometimes, I’d like to say that to some of our leaders. There is something missing that they just can’t see. That leads me to the question: What does it take to lead people effectively? What qualities do I need to be a better influence on people?
Well, if you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Genesis 38, Genesis 38, where we see why God chose Joseph to lead his tribe and not his older brother, Judah. Judah lacked crucial leadership qualities, and that becomes very clear here as he stands in stark contrast to his younger brother, Joseph.
Genesis 38:1 It happened at that time that Judah went down from his brothers and turned aside to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah. (ESV)
It might not be so obvious in the English text, but Judah’s moral decline is very obvious in the Hebrew text. You see, he not only “went down” physically to the southern regions of Canaan. He “went down” morally in his own life and “turned aside.” The word for “turned aside” is used in many other Old Testament contexts to speak of those who “turn aside from the path of righteousness” (Exodus 23:2; Judges 9:3; 1 Samuel 8:3; Job 31:7). That’s Judah here. He has rejected his godly heritage and is turning aside to the ways of this world.
Gnesis 38:2a There Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua (ESV) – which means affluence.
Genesis 38:2b-3 He took her and went in to her, and she conceived and bore a son, and he called his name Er (ESV) – which means “to arouse oneself.”
Genesis 38:4 She conceived again and bore a son, and she called his name Onan (ESV) – which means “manly vigor,” speaking of the potency of his sperm.
Genesis 38:5 Yet again she bore a son, and she called his name Shelah. Judah was in Chezib when she bore him. (ESV)
“Shelah” means “to be at ease” or “to be prosperous,” and “Chezib,” the town where they stayed, literally means deceit. Judah’s whole life was a lie as he turns aside from his godly heritage to pursue a life of wealth and pleasure.
He compromised with the world around him, and that disqualified him as a leader. He was seduced by the surrounding Canaanite culture. He was led astray from his pursuit of God into pursuing sex and money, so much so that he was unable to lead anybody to the right path. In fact, he had gone so far off the path that there was no way he could lead anybody on the path.
His worldly attitudes and actions disqualified him for effective leadership, and it still disqualifies people today. When you pursue wealth and pleasure rather than God, then you have no business trying to help people with their own lives.
Ken Wales is a TV and film producer, who has produced several, award-winning TV series and films, including Christy, East of Eden and the highly-acclaimed movie Amazing Grace. Wales has enjoyed tremendous success as a producer, but he started his Hollywood career as an unemployed actor.
Early in his career, Wales chose to turn down a significant role because it conflicted with his faith in Christ. While he was under contract with MGM, he was cast for a film starring Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, and Shirley MacLaine. At one point in the script, his character enticed a young woman to get drunk so he could take advantage of her. Wales described his decision to decline the role:
“I had been speaking to a lot of church groups and conventions around the country on the subject of making right choices. So when I read…the script… I had to meet with the director, Vincente Minnelli, to tell him I couldn't do it. He told me, ‘You'll do it, or you'll be out of your contract, you'll go on suspension, you'll have no salary for a year, and I'll see that you never work in this town again.’ I told him he'd have to find someone else, and he literally threw me out of his office.
“I was put on suspension,” Wales said. “When the film came out the following year, I was speaking at a youth convention in Denver, to about 600 kids. We took a break at dinner time, and everybody piled out to see a movie and to get pizza. As we started to walk across the street, there was a huge marquee with a sign for the movie I'd turned down. And I thought that was interesting. What if I'd done that film and the kids had gone in and seen it?” (Marcia Segelstein, “Amazing Grace: Interview with Ken Wales,” Salvo, Summer 2011; www.PreachingToday.com)
Everything he was trying to communicate to those young people would have gone right out the window. Such a compromise would have totally discredited his message. My dear friends, if you truly want to help people with their lives, if you truly want to be a godly influence on others, then…
DON’T COMPROMISE WITH THE WORLD.
Don’t pursue the things this world has to offer like wealth and pleasure. Instead, pursue God. Let knowing Him be the quest of your life. Don’t “go down” and “turn aside.” Instead, go up in the strength and power of God’s Spirit. Then you will be able to influence others to follow God, as well. If you want to be a positive influence on others, then 1st of all, don’t compromise with the world. 2nd, if you want to be a positive influence, then…
TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY.
Be a godly leader at home before you try to lead anybody outside the home. Be a good influence on your own children before you try to influence anybody else’s children. You see…
Judah didn’t do that with his children, and their rebellion disqualified him for leadership. You see, his pursuit of wealth and pleasure had a negative impact on his children.
Genesis 38:6-8 And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and the LORD put him to death. Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” (ESV)
Now, the “duty of a brother-in-law” in Bible days was to marry his dead brother’s wife, so she could have a child that would bear her husband’s name and carry on the family line. This was called a “levirate marriage” (from the Latin “levir,” which means “husband’s brother”). It was an act of selfless devotion a man performed for his dead brother’s family, and the custom actually became a part of the Mosaic Law nearly 500 years later (Deuteronomy 25:5-6). Onan knew his duty to his dead brother’s wife.
Genesis 38:9-10 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went in to his brother’s wife he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother. And what he did was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and he put him to death also. (ESV)
God did not punish Onan for using this ancient form of birth control. God punished Onan for being selfish and self-centered with regard to his brother’s family. He knew that the offspring of this union would not be his. It would be his brother’s; and so out f selfish jealousy, he prevents his dead brother from having any offspring. That’s what was wicked in God’s sight, and so God strikes him dead for it.
Genesis 38:11 Then Judah said to Tamar his daughter-in-law, “Remain a widow in your father’s house, till Shelah my son grows up”—for he feared that he would die, like his brothers. So Tamar went and remained in her father’s house. (ESV)
Judah thought that Tamar was the problem – that she was some sort of black widow. But she wasn’t the problem; His own sons were – “They were wicked in the sight of the Lord.” And their wickedness demonstrated Judah’s inability to be a positive influence in his own family, much less in the outside world.
Their continuous rebellion disqualified Judah for leadership, and it still disqualifies people today. In 1 Timothy 3, when the New Testament describes the qualities of an effective leader in the church, it says, “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” (1 Tim. 3:4-5).
Howard Hendricks used to say to us men in seminary preparing to lead churches, “If your Christianity isn’t working at home, don’t export it.” It was his way of saying, “If you can’t make your faith work in your own family, then please don’t try to make it work in the family of God.”
The test of a true leader is what happens in the privacy of his own home, not the kind of show he is able to perform in public. In other words, if you want to find a good leader, look at a man’s sons more than you do his skills.
Paul Hampton had a hectic day of running errands with his wife and son. It was stressful for him, and his 4-year-old son, Christopher, didn’t help. He insisted on asking questions about everything, told his dad how to drive better, and sang every song he knew.
Finally, fed up with the incessant chatter, Paul made him an offer: “Christopher, if you'll be quiet for just a few minutes, I'll give you a quarter.” It worked.
But when they stopped for lunch, Paul unknowingly began to harp on his boy. “Christopher, sit up straight... Don't spill your drink... Don't talk with your mouth full.”
Finally, Christopher said seriously, “Dad, if you'll be quiet for just a few minutes, I'll give you a quarter.” (Paul M. Hampton, Cold Spring, Kentucky, “Kids of the Kingdom,” Christian Reader; www.PreachingToday.com)
Do you know what scared me most as a father when my kids were still at home growing up? What scared me most was that they might turn out to be just like me. Even now, when Sandy sees one of our adult children do something silly, she says, “They’re just like you, Phil.”
Children reflect their parents. Judah selfishly pursued wealth and pleasure. So it is no surprise that his children were selfish and self-centered, as well. What our children need is the active, loving leadership of their fathers, demonstrated in a positive example lived before them every day.
Joe Bayly, a Christian author and leader, had a son named Tim who was not following the Lord. This caused great tension in the home until one day Joe told his son he had to move out. Taking Tim aside, he said, “Tim, you're not living for God and you need to leave our home.” Tim left, but his spiritual rebellion broke Joe's heart.
Tim moved to Wheaton, Illinois, where he rented a house with a group of musicians and artists. Late one night, Joe got a phone call. “This is the police,” the voice said. “Your son has been arrested on drug charges, and we have him here in jail.” Joe got out of bed and drove a half hour to the jail where the man on the phone had told him his son was being held. But no one there had ever heard of his son. Joe thought he had driven to the wrong jail, so he drove to several other jails trying to find Tim. Nothing.
Finally, around 2:00 a.m., Joe decided to go to Tim's house and see if he was there. The front door wasn't locked, so Joe entered and began to go from bedroom to bedroom looking for his son. He found Tim upstairs, fast asleep. Joe walked over and knelt by Tim's bed. Shaking him awake, Joe asked, “Tim, are you all right?”
Tim awoke and, seeing his Dad frantic with concern, answered, “Yes Dad – I’m all right. Why? What's wrong?”
Joe told Tim how someone had called in the middle of the night saying he was in jail. Then Joe kissed his son goodnight and drove home.
Years later, Tim returned to his Christian faith, and in a conversation with his Dad, Tim explained how God had used that night as a key part of bringing him back to faith. “Remember that night when you got a call that I was in jail?” he told his father. “Dad, I'll never forget you kneeling next to my bed, kissing me, and telling me you loved me.”
Joe's love, both in discipline (making his son leave the home) and tenderness (going out that night to find him, kissing him, and telling him of his love), were used by God to teach Tim of the love of his Heavenly Father for sinners like himself.
Joe died over 25 years ago, but in the years between Tim's return to the Lord and his Dad's death, they shared wonderful Christian fellowship together, even working together in ministry. Today, Tim is a pastor in Indiana. (Tim Bayly, www.Preaching Today.com)
Being a good leader in the home doesn’t mean that our children never rebel. The question is: how do we handle it when they do rebel? Do we reflect the love and discipline of our Heavenly Father in the way we treat our children?
If you want to be a positive influence on others, then 1st of all, don’t compromise with the world; 2nd, take care of your family before you try to take care of any body else; and 3rd…
BE CONSISTENT IN THE WAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE.
Live your life with integrity. Make sure your walk matches your talk, because hypocrisy will discredit a leader every time.
Judah was discredited by his hypocrisy.
Genesis 38:12 In the course of time the wife of Judah, Shua’s daughter, died. When Judah was comforted, he went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. (ESV)
Sheep shearing time was rife with sexual immorality in the Canaanite culture. According to one commentator, it was a time when the Canaanite religion “encouraged ritual fornication as fertility magic” with plenty of temple prostitutes on hand (Derek Kidner, Genesis, an Introduction and Commentary, IVP, p.188).
Judah had just lost his wife and all his friends were sleeping with temple prostitutes, so he is wide open to sexual temptation at this time. Well, Tamar takes advantage of the situation and disguises herself as one of the temple prostitutes.
Genesis 38:13-14 And when Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep,” she took off her widow’s garments and covered herself with a veil, wrapping herself up, and sat at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that Shelah was grown up, and she had not been given to him in marriage. (ESV)
It became obvious that Judah was not going to let her marry his youngest son, so she put on a veil. It’s what distinguished the temple prostitutes from all the other prostitutes, who wore no veils. Well, Tamar dresses like a temple prostitute and waits for her father-in-law to come by.
Genesis 38:15-23 When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. He turned to her at the roadside and said, “Come, let me come in to you,” for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said, “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?” He answered, “I will send you a young goat from the flock.” And she said, “If you give me a pledge, until you send it—” He said, “What pledge shall I give you?” She replied, “Your signet and your cord and your staff that is in your hand.” So he gave them to her and went in to her, and she conceived by him. Then she arose and went away, and taking off her veil she put on the garments of her widowhood. When Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite to take back the pledge from the woman’s hand, he did not find her. And he asked the men of the place, “Where is the cult prostitute who was at Enaim at the roadside?” And they said, “No cult prostitute has been here.” So he returned to Judah and said, “I have not found her. Also, the men of the place said, ‘No cult prostitute has been here.’ ” And Judah replied, “Let her keep the things as her own, or we shall be laughed at. You see, I sent this young goat, and you did not find her.” (ESV)
Judah had adopted the immorality of the Canaanite culture, but he is quick to condemn his daughter-in-law who was involved in the same immorality.
Genesis 38:24 About three months later Judah was told, “Tamar your daughter-in-law has been immoral. Moreover, she is pregnant by immorality.” And Judah said, “Bring her out, and let her be burned.” (ESV)
Judah presents a double standard here. He condemns his daughter-in-law to death while he lets himself off the hook for committing the same sin.
Genesis 38:25-26 As she was being brought out, she sent word to her father-in-law, “By the man to whom these belong, I am pregnant.” And she said, “Please identify whose these are, the signet and the cord and the staff.” Then Judah identified them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not know her again. (ESV)
Judah stood condemned himself. As a result, his righteous indignation was totally discredited by the double standard he presented, which was exposed for all to see.
Judah’s hypocrisy discredited him, and such hypocrisy discredits anyone who tries to lead and influence others.
A few years ago, on History Channel’s reality show called Pawn Stars, a man brought a violin into a Las Vegas pawn shop and asked for an appraisal. He had recently purchased a piece of property that included a house and a barn. He was inspecting the barn when he found an old violin carefully packed away in an old chest. He dusted off the violin and found the word “Stradivarius” clearly inscribed on the near perfect instrument. He was hoping his newly discovered “Stradivarius” was worth millions of dollars.
It wasn’t. After examining the violin, the pawn store owners told the man it wasn’t a genuine Stradivarius. Instead, it was a cheap imitation produced in the early part of the 1900s, worth around five or six hundred dollars. The man’s disappointment was written all over his face when the appraiser told him, “Just because something has a label doesn't mean it's real.” (Pawn Stars, History Channel, 2-7-07; www.PreachingToday.com)
Are you for real? Or are you just wearing a label which says “Christian?”
Somebody once said, “Hypocrisy is like a pin: pointed in one direction but headed in another.” Well, you can’t point people in one direction, then head in another and expect to lead them. It just doesn’t work!
If you want to be a positive influence on others, you cannot compromise with the world; you must take care of your family; and you must be consistent in the way you live your life.
But what about those who have failed in all or some of these areas? They have pursued wealth and pleasure more than God. As a result, their children are far away from God, and they know they are hypocrites just like Judah was. They may wear the label “Christian,” but that’s not who they are on the inside.
Is there any hope for people like that, perhaps some of you? Can God still use failures to be a positive influence on those around them with the time they have left? Well, let me give you some good news this morning. Yes, there is hope, and yes, God can use you just as He did Judah. You see, this is not the end of the story for Judah.
Genesis 38:27-29 When the time of her labor came, there were twins in her womb. And when she was in labor, one put out a hand, and the midwife took and tied a scarlet thread on his hand, saying, “This one came out first.” But as he drew back his hand, behold, his brother came out. And she said, “What a breach you have made for yourself!” Therefore his name was called Perez (ESV) – which means breaking out.
Genesis 38:30 Afterward his brother came out with the scarlet thread on his hand, and his name was called Zerah (ESV) – which can man scarlet or brightness.
You see, there is a bright ending to this story, which culminates in the coming of Christ to this world. Turn with me to Matthew 1, where we have the genealogy of Jesus Christ himself. When you find Matthew 1, look at verse 3, and what do you see: “Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar.”
As messed up as they were, God used Judah and Tamar to bring our one and only Savior, Jesus Christ, into this world nearly 2,000 years later. Sure, in the short term, Judah was disqualified as a leader of his tribe, but in the scheme of all history, one of his descendants was destined to become the King of all kings and the Lord of all lords. Oh, what grace!
Can God use you? Can God use me? Yes, He can, but we need to recognize our own failing and…
COUNT ON HIS GRACE.
Acknowledge your own sin and throw yourself on His mercy. Depend on God’s Son, Jesus, who came to die for your sins and rise again. Then, and only then, do you find deliverance from those sins as God begins the process of changing you from the inside out. For if the truth be known, ALL of us have failed, and ALL of us need this Savior provided by God Himself out of the mess of human history.
So trust Christ with your life today, and let Him make you into the leader He wants you to be. Let Him give you a heart for God. Let Him save your family, and let Him make you a real and genuine Christian on the inside as well as the outside.
Let this be your prayer today:
Change my heart, O God; Make it ever true.
Change my heart, O God; May I be like You. (Eddie Espinosa)
