Introduction:
A. Once there was a young couple who decided to get married.
1. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive, because each of them had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
2. The groom-to-be decided to ask his father for advice about his problem.
a. “Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my future marriage. I love my fiancée, very much, but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my future wife will be put off by them.”
b. “No problem,” said dad, “All you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed.”
c. This seemed to him like a workable solution.
3. The bride-to-be decided to take her problem up with her mother.
a. “Mom,” she said, “When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful and I’m afraid my future husband will be put off by it.”
b. “Honey,” her mother consoled her, “everyone has bad breath in the morning, but you might try this: In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth. Not a word.”
c. This seemed to her like a good approach.
4. The young couple was finally married in a beautiful ceremony.
a. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well - that is, until about six months later.
5. Shortly before dawn one day, the husband awoke suddenly and discovered that one of his socks had come off during the night.
a. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searched the bed.
b. This, of course, woke his bride, who, asked immediately, “What on earth are you doing?”
c. “Oh, no!” he gasped in shock, “You’ve swallowed my sock!”
B. Many of us are suckers for a good love story that is full of romance, which leads to commitment, and then ends with a happily ever after.
1. In our last sermon from our series on Abraham, we witnessed the conclusion of a love story that lasted over 100 years between Abraham and Sarah.
2. In our sermon today, we will witness the beginning of a new romance – the love story of Isaac and Rebekah.
C. As we move through the story today, we will notice that the way we go about finding a mate in our time and culture is very different from the way it was in Abraham’s time and culture.
1. In our 21st century Western culture, we begin the process of looking for a mate by dating.
a. Dating can lead to an ongoing courtship, which can lead to a formal engagement, which can culminate in a marriage.
b. Those who get married in our society remain in charge of who they marry and when.
2. But this is not the case in other parts of the world, even in the 21st century.
a. In many Eastern cultures, parents make the majority of the decisions for their children.
b. Often the young man and young woman participate in the arrangement process, and some societies allow them to decline a proposal they don’t prefer.
c. But it’s the parents who guide the matchmaking process.
d. This time-honored custom has helped stabilize entire civilizations.
3. In biblical times, parental matchmaking was the norm.
4. So when it came time for Isaac to marry, it was up to Abraham to find a suitable woman.
D. You will recall that Abraham was 75 years old when God called him out of Ur of the Chaldeans and promised He would make him into a great nation.
1. That promise began to be fulfilled 25 years later when Isaac was born to Abraham and Sarah.
2. Thirty-seven years after that, Sarah died.
3. Three years after Sarah’s death, Abraham realized the years had slipped by and it was likely past time for Isaac to get married, he was now 40 years old.
4. Even though it was past time for him to have a bride, just any bride wouldn’t do.
5. Socrates, the Greek philosopher, reportedly told his male students: “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, twice blessed you will be. If you get a bad wife, you will become a philosopher.” (the same could be said for good or bad husbands, right ladies?)
a. So according to Socrates, who you marry s not important, because the end results will be good either way.
6. But, as we will see, Abraham’s godly approach did not follow that pattern.
a. Unlike Socrates, Abraham’s careful approach reflects the value he placed on obtaining the right kind of marriage partner for his son.
7. Let’s see what lessons we can learn from Abraham about following God’s lead especially when it comes to important decisions like choosing a wife for his son.
I. The Story
A. The story of finding a wife for Isaac is actually a pretty long one.
1. Genesis 24 is the longest chapter in the book of Genesis with its 67 verses.
2. Although we will cover the entire chapter today, for the sake of time, we will not read all the verses.
3. Let’s begin to examine the story by reading the first 9 verses of Genesis 24: 1 Abraham was now old and well advanced in years, and the LORD had blessed him in every way. 2 He said to the chief servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. 3 I want you to swear by the LORD , the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, 4 but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.”
5 The servant asked him, “What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?”
6 “Make sure that you do not take my son back there,” Abraham said. 7 “The LORD , the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father's household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’ - he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. 8 If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” 9 So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter. (Gen. 24:1-9)
B. For reasons untold, Abraham didn’t want Isaac to marry anyone from Canaan.
1. It could not have been because the Canaanites women were idolatrous; that would have ruled out virtually every woman in the world, including those back in Ur where the servant was sent.
2. Throughout most of history, societies regarded marriage not merely as the joining of two people, but also as the merging of two families.
3. Treaties between rival tribes or warring nations were often sealed by the marriage of the leaders’ offspring.
4. Abraham had been friendly and did business with the Canaanites, but he didn’t want his new nation to become mixed with them.
5. Bringing in a woman from far away would help to reduce outside interference and maintain delicate boundaries with the Canaanites.
C. To accomplish the all-important task of finding the right woman for Isaac, Abraham called on his most trusted employee.
1. On Abraham’s journey from Ur to Canaan, he passed through Damascus, where a man named Eliezer apparently joined his caravan (Gen. 15:2) - perhaps Eliezer is the servant mentioned here.
2. Whoever this servant is, scripture describes him as the chief servant, in charge of Abraham’s entire estate.
3. He is likely Abraham’s closest friend.
4. Abraham was sending his servant to his “homeland,” his country and his relatives, that was nearly 500 miles from where Abraham was living.
D. Although Abraham’s servant was willing to do anything Abraham asked of him, the servant spotted a difficulty in Abraham’s proposal.
1. The servant wanted to know what to do if he finds a woman, but she is unwilling to go with him – how many woman do you know who would be willing to travel 500 miles from home and family to marry a man they don’t know and have not even seen?
2. So the servant suggested it might work better to take the man to the woman rather than bring the women to the man.
3. Abraham made it clear that under no circumstances was Isaac to leave the Promised Land.
4. Abraham reassured his servant that his mission contributed to a divine plan and would, therefore, receive God’s guidance.
5. What is so significant in Abraham’s words are his unwavering faith in God.
6. Abraham had at times doubted God’s word to him, but now in his last recorded words, Abraham expressed a steadfast faith in God.
7. So, with that assurance from Abraham, his master, the servant put his hand under Abraham’s thigh and swore to him concerning this matter - to put one’s hand under someone’s thigh was the ancient equivalent of raising one’s right hand and swearing an oath on the Bible.
E. Verse 10 says that without any delay, the servant took ten of his master’s camels and departed taking all sorts of choice gifts from his master.
1. Ten camels in Abraham’s day would have looked like a ten-limousine entourage today.
2. After nearly a month-long journey, the servant arrived in a region in northern Mesopotamia.
3. When the servant located the city inhabited by Abraham’s brother Nahor, he strategically positioned himself where he could observe the eligible women.
4. It was evening, and the women were coming out to draw water.
5. As a close friend of Abraham, the servant enjoyed his own personal relationship with the one true Creator God, and just as he had seen Abraham often do, he prayed for God’s guidance.
6. In verse 14, he prayed: “May it be that when I say to a girl, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’ - let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” (Gen. 24:14)
a. Abraham’s servant was asking for a sign – but note it was not a miraculous sign, like Gideon’s fleece – make the ground dry and the fleece wet, and visa versa.
b. The sign he requested was appropriate to the task at hand.
c. Notice that the sign wasn’t something random or arbitrary, like: “May the woman you have chosen show up with a green shawl and two different sandals – one brown, one purple.”
d. What the servant was looking for was a woman who demonstrated uncommon hospitality and was strong and healthy.
7. Drawing and lugging water was hard work.
a. In the evening, the women came out to the well with clay jars to fill and carry home – a tiring chore all by itself.
b. To request a drink for himself would be a adding to someone’s regular work.
c. Nevertheless, most anyone would offer a sip to a thirsty stranger, but very few would offer to water 10 camels.
d. Let’s do the math – a camel typically can drink between 25 and 50 gallons of water in five minutes, and a typical ancient water jar held between 3 and 5 gallons of water weighing between 30 and 50 pounds.
e. That’s up to 500 gallons of water, in 100 trips back and forth from the well, carrying 5000 pounds of water taking between one and two hours to complete.
f. That would be one extraordinary woman! Let’s just call her “Wonder Woman!”
F. The Bible says: 15 Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, who was the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor. 16 The girl was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again. 17 The servant hurried to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water from your jar.” (Gen. 24:15-17)
1. A quick study of Abraham’s family tree shows that Rebekah was his grandniece, Isaac’s first cousin once removed.
2. The servant quickly noted that Rebekah was a beautiful woman, but that was not enough.
3. Her clothing identified her as unmarried and therefore a virgin.
4. But was she a woman of character?
G. The story continues: 18 “Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink. 19 After she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking.” 20 So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. 21 Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful. (Gen. 24:18-21)
1. Rebekah passed the first test by giving him a drink, and then she passed the second test by saying that she would water his camels, but would she go the distance?
2. The servant watched her trek back and forth from the well to the trough carrying the 50 pound jug for as many as two solid hours.
3. The longer she worked, the more confident the servant became that he had found in Rebekah a rare jem.
4. After she finished watering the camels, the servant gave her several gifts, and he asked her whose daughter she was.
5. The Bible says, 24 She answered him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milcah bore to Nahor.” 25 And she added, “We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night.” (Gen. 24:24-25)
6. When the servant heard that she was a grandniece of Abraham, he bowed his head and worshiped the Lord saying: “Praise be to the LORD , the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the LORD has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.” (Gen. 24:27)
a. Keep in mind that it had been over 60 years since Abraham had left that region and his family, so who knows where is extended family was living at this point.
7. The servant had found the right place, the right family and the right woman, it was like finding the “needle in the haystack,” but we should not be surprised because God was leading him.
8. But there were still more hurdles to overcome.
a. Would Rebekah’s family be willing to let her go with a stranger and marry an unknown man?
b. And would Rebekah herself be willing to leave her family and marry someone she had never met?
H. The servant went to the home of Rebekah’s brother Laban and food was set before the servant, but he insisted that he explain his mission to Rebekah’s family before he would eat.
1. He explained that he had come to look for a bride for Isaac, son of Abraham whom God had greatly blessed.
2. He explained how the Lord had led him to that well and how the Lord had answered his prayer for a sign and how Rebekah had fulfilled it perfectly.
3. Laban her brother and Bethuel her father both agreed that all this is from God and offered for Rebekah to go and marry Isaac.
4. But the next morning the brother and mother decided to slow things down by suggesting that they wait 10 days or so before they leave.
5. Abraham’s servant pleaded with them not to detain him and Rebekah but to allow them to go immediately.
6. Thinking that Rebekah would choose to stay with her family longer, her brother and mother suggested that they call in Rebekah and allow her to choose.
7. Amazingly, she chose to leave that day with Abraham’s servant and accompanied by her nurse.
I. The story concludes by switching the scene to their arrival back home after the long journey.
1. The Bible says: 63 He (Isaac) went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. 64 Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel 65 and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?”
“He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself.
66 Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. 67 Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. (Gen. 24:63-67)
2. When Rebekah met Isaac for the first time, she covered herself with a veil, because in that culture, a bride wore a veil when meeting her groom before their wedding.
3. Very likely, the couple took a little time to get acquainted while Abraham and the rest of the community prepared a lavish wedding feast.
4. People in that culture didn’t hold covenant ceremonies with a minister or priest, the vows did not need to be spoken aloud because the promises were implied by their agreement to marry.
5. On the day of the feast, the couple would enjoy the celebration until bedtime and then quietly slip away to their tent to consummate the marriage.
6. And so Rebekah became Isaac’s wife and the Bible says he loved her – this is the first time in Scripture that a man is said to love his wife.
J. The most important part of the story is how God’s covenant with Abraham would continue through Isaac and Rebekah – she would eventually bear twin sons named Esau and Jacob, and the seed that would bless the whole world would continue through Jacob.
1. Many, many centuries after Rebekah there would be another young woman, who like Rebekah who would say with great faith, “I will.”
2. Mary would become the mother of Jesus and it was through the seed of Abraham that Jesus would fulfill God’s promise to bless all the people of the earth.
II. The Application
A. As we bring this sermon to a close let’s talk about application for a few minutes.
B. Let’s begin our application with the subject of “Finding a Suitable Mate.”
1. I believe we see in this story a number of helpful principles for finding a suitable mate.
2. First, we should hear and heed the counsel of godly parents.
a. A wise child will listen to the godly counsel of loving parents.
b. Godly, loving parents have walked with the Lord longer, and in some ways know you better than you know yourself.
c. Godly, loving parents are often more objective and less impulsive than you.
d. Godly, loving parents are not always right, but their advice is worth serious consideration.
e. Isaac had followed the lead and advice of his father and had not tried to take matters into his own hands.
3. Second, we should saturate the whole process in prayer.
a. We should pray for God to lead us to a suitable person and pray for God to make us a suitable person.
b. We see the servant saturated the process in prayer, but we assume that Abraham and Isaac were both praying for the servant and a wife for Isaac.
4. Third, we should look for someone with spiritual, godly character.
a. Long after physical beauty fades and other things become unimportant, character remains.
b. So, above all things – look for character!
5. Finally, we should put God first and trust Him completely.
a. Although our mate will become the most significant person in our lives next to God, they must never be put ahead of God.
b. We should not marry someone who will jeopardize our relationship with God, and if we find ourselves married to someone who is trying to draw us away from God, we must stand firm and put God first.
C. A second application is this: we can be assured that just as the Lord provided Rebekah as a wife for Isaac, God will continue to guide and provide for His spiritual children who are the bride of Christ.
1. God is still calling and raising up men and women to do His will and follow His ways.
2. God still wants us to step out on faith and trust in God’s provision and leadership in our lives.
3. Each one of us can be ready to face any future with Christ if we allow Him to guide us.
4. When we pay attention to God’s Word and pray for God’s guidance and then obey what God tells us to do, then we can experience God’s peace in any circumstance.
D. In his book, Resolving Everyday Conflict, Ken Sande tells about a blind woman who resisted the repeated warnings of her loyal and protective guide dog:
1. One day during his morning run he noticed a blind woman walking on the other side of the street with her Seeing Eye dog, a beautiful golden retriever.
2. As Ken was about to pass them, he noticed a car blocking a driveway just ahead of them.
3. At that moment the dog paused and gently pressed his shoulder against the woman's leg, signaling her to turn aside so they could get around the car.
4. No doubt, she normally followed her dog’s lead, but that day she didn't seem to trust him.
5. She had probably walked this route many times before and knew this was not the normal place to make a turn.
6. Whatever the reason, she wouldn’t move to the side and instead gave him the signal to move ahead.
7. The dog again pressed his shoulder against her leg, trying to guide her on a safe path.
8. She angrily ordered [the dog] to go forward and when he again declined, her temper flared.
9. Ken Sande was about to speak up… when the dog once more put his shoulder gently against her leg.
10. The woman then gave the dog a little kick and then she stepped forward causing her to bump squarely into a car.
11. Reaching out to feel the shape in front of her, she immediately realized what had happened.
12. Dropping to her knees, she threw her arms around the dog, and spoke sobbing words into his ear. (Ken Sande, Resolving Everyday Conflict, Baker Books, 2011, pp. 99-100; PreachingToday.com)
E. Dear brothers and sisters, if we want to keep from bumping into life’s obstacles, then we must pay attention to the direction of God’s Word and to the nudging of God’s Spirit.
1. When we follow God’s lead, we will find our way safely in this dark and confusing world.
2. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
3. That’s what God did for Abraham and Isaac, and that’s what God will do for us if we let him!
Resources:
Abraham – One Nomad’s Amazing Journey of Faith, by Charles Swindoll, Tyndale, 2014.
Friend of God – The Legacy of Abraham, Man of Faith, by Ray Stedman, Discovery House, 2010.
A Bride for Isaac, Sermon by Freddy Fritz, SermonCentral.com
Guidance in Confusing Times, Sermon by C. Philip Green, SermonCentral.com
