Jack has been working at a certain accounting firm for years. He graduated at the top of his class but his career seems to be stagnate and going absolutely nowhere. He begins to feel frustrated as he is passed over time and time again for the new positions and promotions. Not wanting this to keep on happening, he decides to do something about it. He decides to be the first person at the office and one of the last ones to leave. He forces a smile on his face every time he comes in and tries to get along with everyone, especially the boss. After a few months have gone by, a new position opens up, and Jack is confident that he will get it. The boss holds a special staff meeting to announce who will be getting this new promotion and position. The boss starts, “This person has been working hard for the last few months. This person has been putting in the extra hours and effort, and has amazing potential. I think you all know the person who will be getting this job. Jeff, congratulations, the position is yours!” Jack’s heart sinks at hearing this. He turns to Keith, the man sitting next to him and complains, “I can’t believe I didn’t get this. What do I have to do?” Keith replies, “Story of my life. This has been happening to me for years. I can certainly relate bud. There is nothing you can do.”
Story of my life. It is a phrase that is often said in sadness or disappointment. It can be uttered when the same bad or negative things keep happening over and over again. It certainly isn’t a phrase we really don’t want to say. As Paul writes Romans 7, you can hear almost hear him sigh and say, “Story of my life” as he talks about the baptized believer’s struggle with the sinful nature.
As a baptized believer, God is renewing Paul’s mind, will, thoughts, and actions. God is changing his heart and desires. The Lord is making him into a new creation, a new person, that lives for Him and according to His ways. However, there is one major issue: Paul’s sinful human nature and flesh. Paul’s sinful nature wants to follow its desires, will, and wishes. His sinful flesh wants to do the exact opposite of what his renewed nature wants to do.
It is like building a block tower with a toddler. When I would do this with my sister Kaitlin, she would always enjoy knocking it down and saying, “Ooops, sorry.” I knew she did it on purpose, or when I wasn’t looking. I liked to build, and she liked to knock it down. Our renewed nature wants to do one thing, and our sinful nature wants to do another.
Paul struggles with this conflict. He is frustrated and does not understand his actions. He says, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.” Paul knows what he wants to do, live according to God’s ways, but his actions reveal a different thing. He often seems to do the opposite of what he wants. He wants to build the block tower but keeps knocking it down. He does what he hates, and he puts his finger on why it happens.
The apostle identifies sin and the sinful nature as the culprit. He writes, “So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” Paul isn’t trying to excuse what he does but points out the influence and control of the sinful nature. In this nature, nothing good dwells. He wants to do what pleases God, but cannot do it on his own, nor carry out it. In fact, he can’t, and this frustrates him. The evil he doesn’t want to do is what he keeps on doing. It seems that he is fighting a losing battle.
Paul is a clever guy, and he sees a “law” or pattern at work. He observes, “So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.” In cartoons or children shows, you sometimes see those scenes where the main character is in a difficult moral situation. When that happens, you see the two angels appear on his or her shoulder. On the one side, you have the good angel with the harp and halo, encouraging the person to do the right thing. On the other side, you have the bad, evil angel that is dressed like a red devil. This angel encourages the character to do the wrong thing.
Paul notes that this dilemma is always before him for everything, not just big moral decisions. When Paul wants to do good, evil lies close at hand and is ready to pounce. When the Apostle tries to do good, he still sins. He describes this dilemma as a war, and captivity. The inner being, the new man and his renewed nature, delights in God’s Word and ways, but is always doing battle with the sinful nature. One of them is always trying to gain control and to win the day. This leads Paul to his breaking point in our text. He cries out, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” Paul struggles with this conflict. As the Apostle looks at his life and his failing to do good, he can’t help but say, “Story of my life.”
As fellow believers, when we hear Paul’s words, we say with him, “Story of my life.” The struggle and conflict that Paul describes is real, whether we admit it or not. Some of us might confess this struggle openly and publicly. Others might hide it and put on the best face and construction that they can. Regardless, the struggle is there, and it is real. Paul’s own experience gives us a window into our own.
Just like with Paul, God is working in us through His Word, Spirit, and Sacraments to renew our hearts, minds, will, and nature. He is making us into a new creation too. But like with Paul, we still have our old sinful nature that does battle within us. We want to do good, and live according to God’s ways, but we don’t. We want to trust God, but when problems pop up, we begin to worry and doubt Him. We want to read His Word, but it is so easy for us to put it off as we might watch another TV show, read another chapter, or plan to do it at a different time that never comes. We want to be pure, but our eyes can wander off in lust. We desire to talk well of others, but gossip seems to be way too easy and a great conversation starter. We want to do good, but we don’t. We often seem to end up doing what we don’t want to do and hate. Sin and evil always seem to be close at hand, and always an option
Is this frustrating? Yes! Is it disappointing? You betcha. Can it be depressing? Without a doubt. We all have those days when we look at our lives and say with Paul, “Wretched person that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” And we also say with him, “Story of my life.”
But Paul’s story is not done. He says, “Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.” Even though the story of Paul’s life is this struggle, he also knows his story includes God’s grace and redemption. For Jesus will deliver him from this sinful body and He has saved Paul from his sins. This gives Paul a hope and reason to continue. Paul doesn’t give up during this struggle, but continues on in Jesus, and in His grace.
And with Paul, we say, “Story of my life, too.” For our God forgives us of our sin and of our struggles of living a Christian life. He has saved us from sin’s control and from eternal death. He delivers us through our baptism, His Word, and His supper, where His grace is given and where He strengthens and renews us.
Our God is with us as we are stuck in the middle of the struggle between our new nature and our old sinful one. God is patient with us, and shows us His grace when we are like toddlers who knock down what He builds. We are comforted that the decisive victory against sin has been won at the cross and tomb. We will be delivered from this body of sin and death. In the American Revolution, the Patriots lost more battles than they won. Despite this, the key battles had been won, and the victory had been sealed despite the losses. We will lose to our sinful flesh, but the key victory has been won and the final one will be at Judgment Day. In Christ, we don’t give up in the face of this struggle, but we pursue on in Him knowing that He has won it all. This is the story of our lives. IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN.
