Richard S. Halverson, the former U.S. Senate Chaplain, used to challenge people with the following image:
You're going to meet an old man [or woman] someday down the road – ten, thirty, fifty years from now – waiting there for you. You'll be catching up with him [or her]. What kind of old man [or woman] are you going to meet? He [or she] may be a seasoned, soft, gracious person – a gentleman [or a lady] who has grown old gracefully, surrounded by a host of friends, who feel blessed because of their relationship with him [or her]. Or that person may be a bitter, disillusioned, dried-up old buzzard without a good word for anyone – soured, friendless, and alone.
That old man [or woman] will be you. He [or she] will be the composite of everything you do, say, and think – today and tomorrow. His [or her] mind will be in a mold you have made by your beliefs. His [or her] heart will be turning out what you've been putting into it. Every little thought, every deed goes into this old man [or woman]. (Daniel Henderson, The Deeper Life, Bethany House Publishers, 2014, pp 165-166; www.Preaching Today.com)
Tell me. What kind of old man or old woman will you meet in the mirror 10, 30, or 50 years from now? A person who has grown old gracefully? Or a bitter, disillusioned, dried up old buzzard?
If you want to meet that person who has grown old gracefully, I invite you to turn with me to James 1, James 1, where the Bible shows us how to become better, not bitter, through life’s trials. James 1. Now, last week we saw in verses 2 & 3, that you become better when you rejoice in the trials. In verse 4, you become better when you remain through the trials. And in verses 5-8, you become better when you request wisdom from the trials. Now, let’s take a look at verse 9.
James 1:9-11 Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass he will pass away. For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits. (ESV)
Wealth is only temporary. Like a delicate flower in the scorching heat, any fame or fortune you might enjoy quickly shrivels away.
Take Amy Schumer’s comments about her rising fame in Vulture magazine just a year and a half ago (November 13, 2015). You'd think the actress and comedienne would be enjoying it, but listen to what she said about the downside of her celebrity status: “I'm, like, newly famous, and it turns out it's not fun… I'm just now learning that my dreams have been a sham, and that it's actually not great and it just only comes with pain.” Then she gave this pessimistic outlook about her new-found fame: “We all know it's going to last another three months because that's how it works.” (Adrienne Gaffney, “Amy Schumer: I'm Newly Famous, and It Turns Out It's Not Fun,” Vulture, 11-13-15; www.Preaching Today.com)
Wealth and fame are only temporary, so don’t boast about your wealth. Don’t celebrate your gains. Instead…
REVEL IN YOUR LOSSES.
Boast about your hardship. Celebrate your poverty.
That’s what the Bible says! Look at verse 9 again. “Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, and the rich in his humiliation” (James 1:9-10). The rich believer should boast about the coming loss of his earthly wealth. And the poor believer should boast about being rich in what really counts.
Greg Lucas, a police officer and Bible teacher, recently wrote a blog about taking his special-needs son, Jake, to the dentist. After a particularly challenging visit, Jake was afraid to take the elevator, so the longsuffering nurse looked at him and asked, “Do you want us to help you take the stairs?” Lucas writes:
“Jake was so overjoyed that he stopped every two or three steps and kissed the nurse right on the cheek – big, sloppy, drunken, bloody kisses.” [Lucas] apologized for the muddled morning this poor lady had to endure, but she just smiled and didn't even wipe her face.
There were about 300 steps between the elevator and the exit doors two flights down. That translated into about one hundred kisses for the nurse, and probably fifty or so apologies from [Lucas]. Lucas says, “As usual, I was so caught up in my own pride, that I didn't see what God was actually accomplishing in the hospital this day.”
Nearly 20 minutes later [they] reached the bottom of the stairway, exited the hospital, and Jake leaned back and gave the nurse one last kiss on the cheek. And [Lucas] gave one final apology. And that's when it happened. The gentle, soft-spoken nurse looked [Lucas] in the eyes and said, “Will you stop apologizing! I needed every one of those kisses today!”
[Lucas] thanked her again, put Jake in the car, and [they] were on [their] way. Not until later did the words of the gentle nurse sink into [Lucas’] heart: “Will you stop apologizing! I needed every one of those kisses today!”
Then Lucas concluded his blog: Stop apologizing; people need your son! Stop worrying about the stares; people need to see the hard days of your life. On the most stressful day of the year, God makes your son an agent of grace, and your life is on display to a world that does not understand the strength of true weakness – a people that cannot comprehend bloodstained kisses or muddled love. But they need to understand. (Greg Lucas, "Agents of Grace," Not Alone blog, 6-10-14; www.PreachingToday.com)
You see, it is in your poverty and pain that God’s grace is most on display. So don’t apologize for it! Instead, celebrate it.
When the Apostle Paul asked God to remove his “thorn in the flesh”, God said to him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”; to which Paul said, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
If you want to meet a gracious old gentleman or lady in the mirror 10, 30, or 50 years from now, then learn to boast about your hardships. If you want to become better, not bitter, in your trials, then learn to #1, Rejoice in your trials (vs.2-3), #2, Remain through your trials (vs.4), #3, Request wisdom from your trials (vs.5-8), & #4, Revel in your losses (vs.9-11).
But somebody says, how am I supposed to do all that in my pain? It sounds nice, but I just can’t do it. Do you know? You are absolutely right! You cannot do any of this, especially in your pain, unless you know God personally, unless you commit your life to Him, unless you…
RECEIVE THE LORD INTO YOUR HEART and learn to love Him for who He is.
James 1:12 Blessed [Oh how happy] is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him”. (ESV)
God gives life, a full and abundant life, the epitome of life, the crown of life to those who love Him, to those who learn to value Him more than earthly wealth, fame or comfort.
This verse, verse 12, is the key verse in this entire section. And as such, it gives us the key to passing the tests of life. It gives us the key to coming out on the other side of your trials a better person.
Did you see it? The crown goes to those who LOVE HIM, i.e., to those who love God. You cannot rejoice in your trials; you cannot remain through your trials; you cannot gain wisdom from your trials; and you cannot celebrate your losses unless you love God for who His is, not just for the stuff you hope to get from Him.
Tim Keller asks us to imagine being in a situation where you were dating somebody and you seemed to be falling in love. As part of getting to know one another, you let it be known that when you got married you were coming into a significant trust fund. The person who you're falling in love with said, “Oh, really? Well, it doesn't make any difference to me whether you're rich or poor. I love you for who you are.”
Suppose, just before the wedding you learned that you were not going to get that trust fund? When you relayed that to your spouse-to-be, he or she got so disappointed that they called off the wedding. How would you feel? What would that tell you about this person's love for you? What would you say? You would start to say, “You never loved me for me. You were using me. You loved me because I was going to get you somewhere or get you something. You didn't love me. You were using me.” (Rev. Bruce Goettsche, “When Life Gets Slippery”, Union Church Teaching Resources, 10-6-13; www.PreachingToday.com)
I’m afraid that’s the way a lot of people relate to God. They say they love Him, but they only love what they think He will do for them. So that when times of suffering come, instead of drawing closer to Him, they walk away.
The question is: Do you truly love God, or are you just using Him? You see, love is the key to everything when it comes to passing the tests of life.
Jean Vanier is a Christian leader who founded L'Arche (or the Ark) communities around the world for persons with severe disabilities. He tells the story about a 76-year-old woman named Francoise, also known as "Mamie." Francoise had serious mental and physical disabilities. She was blind, bedridden, and incontinent. She could not feed or dress herself. She was unable to communicate through words. And yet the entire staff of this L'Arche community followed the words of Scripture and showed Christlike love for "Mamie."
But showing unconditional love wasn't always easy. One of the staff assistants, a young man called "Louis," was assigned to take care of Mamie. Louis was disappointed because he did not feel drawn to her. Faithfully, as he was asked, he fed Mamie, but he found it tiresome. Then one day, she placed her hand on his hand and smiled. It was, he said, a special meeting, a moment of transformation, a moment of grace. From that moment on, he loved being with her. What he had found tiresome and difficult became a blessing. Love had made all the difference.
Then one day a woman came to visit the director of that same L'Arche community. As the visitor watched Mamie struggle through life – weak, blind, voiceless, powerless to feed or dress herself – she offhandedly asked the director, “What's the point of keeping Francoise alive?” The director looked at the visitor and said, “Well, madam, because I love her.” (Peter Scazzero, “26 Years of Lessons at NLF,” Sermon given at New Life Fellowship, 9-29-13; www.PreachingToday.com)
Genuine love for a person will turn duty into delight. It motivates and empowers perseverance and sacrifice even in tough times. And that’s what happens when you truly love God not for the stuff He can give you, but just for who He is.
And how could you not love Him, who reached out to you. God left the palaces of heaven, took on human form, and died on a cross for your sins and mine. He paid a terrible price for our rebellion. Then He rose again, and now He offers you an eternal relationship with Himself, whom to know is the crown of life, the epitome of joy.
God passionately pursued a relationship with you when you were running away from Him. Won’t you return that love? Won’t you commit your life to Him? Won’t you receive the Lord into your heart?
It’s the only way you will meet that gracious old gentleman or lady in the mirror someday. It’s the only way you will be able to rejoice in the trials, remain through the trials, request wisdom from the trials, and revel in your loss. And finally, truly loving God from the heart is the only way you will be able to do one more thing to become better through your trials, not bitter. And that’s…
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN SIN.
Own up to your own mistakes. Admit your own shortcomings without casting blame on God or anybody else. You see, when you love God, you won’t blame Him for the stupid decisions you make especially in difficult times.
James 1:13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. (ESV)
I like Warren Wiersbe’s comment on this verse. He says, “If we are not careful, the testings on the outside may become temptations on the inside. When our circumstances are difficult, we may find ourselves complaining against God, questioning His love, and resisting His will (Warren Wiersbe, Be Mature).
Please, don’t do that. Don’t blame God for your sin. Don’t play the victim card, accusing God or your circumstances for the poor choices you make.
If you’re going to grow through your trials, you have to stop being the victim of your circumstances and take responsibility for all your actions. You may not be able to control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond to what happens; you can control your own attitudes and actions in the midst of the trouble. So don’t blame God or anybody else for your sin.
Instead, realize that sin starts with your own desires. You make decisions based on what you really want.
James 1:14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. (ESV)
In his book Predictably Irrational, researcher Dan Ariely claims that most of us are masters at deceiving ourselves and justifying our actions. In particular, we often make our decisions based not on what's right, but on what we want.
Ariely tells his own story of buying a car. “When I turned thirty,” he writes, “I decided it was time to trade in my motorcycle for a car, but I could not decide which car was right for me. The web was just taking off, and to my delight I found a site that provided advice on purchasing cars." Professor Ariely describes how he answered all of the questions on the website, which then recommended that he purchase a Ford Taurus. He describes his reaction this way:
The problem was that, having just surrendered my motorcycle, I couldn't see myself driving a sedate sedan. I was now facing a dilemma: I had tried a deliberative and thoughtful process for my car selection, and I didn't like the answer I got. So, I did what I think anyone in my position would do. I hit the BACK button a few times, backtracked to earlier stages of the interview process, and changed many of my original answers to what I convinced myself were more accurate and appropriate responses… I kept this up until the car-advertising website suggested a Mazda Miata. The moment the program was kind enough to recommend a small convertible, I felt grateful for the fantastic software and decided to follow its advice.
Commenting on what he learned in the process, Professor Ariely says, “The experience taught me that sometimes we want our decisions to have a rational veneer when, in fact, they stem from … what we crave deep down.”
That’s the way sin works. You may rationalize or excuse it away, but you only do what you really want to do, so realize that. Realize that sin starts with your own desires.
And redirect that desire before it becomes disobedience. Set your heart on something else before you give into sin.
James 1:15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin… (ESV)
James describes the process of moral failure in terms of having a baby. It starts with desire. Then it leads to a pregnancy. At first, sin like a newly conceived baby is small and hidden within. Nobody else knows your secret sin, but it’s not long before that “baby” grows and it becomes obvious to all.
So repent before that sin destroys you. Change your ways before that “baby” is stillborn, and your life is ruined. Look at verse 15 again
James 1:15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. (ESV)
Nothing good comes from giving into temptation. It starts with desire, leads to disobedience, and ends in death.
James 1:16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. (ESV)
God is not to blame for your sin; you are. And sin will always destroy you in the end.
In his book Jesus: Pure and Simple, Wayne Cordero tells the story of a certain tribe in Africa that learned an easy way to capture ducks in a river. It’s not easy to do, but this tribe had come up with an ingenious plan.
They would go upstream, place a pumpkin in the river, and let it slowly float down into the flock of ducks. At first, the cautious ducks would quack and fly away. After all, they had never seen a pumpkin float down the river before, and it scared them. But the persistent tribesmen would float another pumpkin into the re-gathered ducks. Again, the ducks would scatter, only to return after the strange sphere had passed. So the hungry hunters would float still another pumpkin down the river. Eventually, the ducks would remain, with a cautious eye on the pumpkin, and with each successive passing, the ducks would become more comfortable, until they finally accepted the pumpkins as a normal part of life.
When the tribesmen saw that the pumpkins no longer bothered the ducks, they hollowed out some pumpkins, put them over their heads, and walked into the river. Meandering into the midst of the tolerant fowl, they pulled them down one at a time. Dinner? Roast duck. (Wayne Cordeiro, Jesus: Pure and Simple, Bethany House Publishers, 2012, pp. 128-129; www.PreachingToday.com)
That’s the way sin works. At first, just the thought of it might scare you. You hear about a friend’s moral failure, and you’re shaken. Then you start tolerating certain “pumpkins” in your own life. You let sin float around, and you might be cautious at first. However, after a while, you get comfortable with sin; but by that time, it’s too late, because that’s when the enemy captures you and ruins your life.
Don’t be deceived. Sin will always take you farther than you want to go, and sin will always cost you more than you want to pay.
So redirect your desire towards Jesus before that desire becomes disobedience. But if you are already disobedient, repent before that disobedience destroys you. Quit blaming God or anybody else, and take responsibility for your own actions. Out of love for Christ, do what you know to be right even in the midst of your own trials. Receive Christ into your own heart, so you can rejoice in the trial; remain through the trial; request wisdom from the trial; revel in your losses; and take responsibility for your own poor choices.
Then that old man or woman you meet in the mirror 10, 30, or 50 years from now will be gracious and winsome and beautiful. You’ll become better because of the trials, not bitter.
Dr. Victor Frankl was a bold, courageous Jew who was captured during the Holocaust. The Nazi’s put him through years of indignity and humiliation before the Allies finally liberated him.
At the beginning of his ordeal, the Nazi’s marched him into a gestapo courtroom. His captors had taken away his home and family, his cherished freedom, his possessions, even his watch and wedding ring. They had shaved his head and stripped the clothing off his body.
There he stood before the German high command under glaring lights, being interrogated and falsely accused. He was destitute, a helpless pawn in the hands of brutal, prejudiced, sadistic men. He had nothing.
No, that isn’t true. At that moment, Victor Frankl realized the one thing he did have was the power to choose his own attitude. He could choose bitterness or forgiveness, to give up or to go on, hatred or hope, the determination to endure or the paralysis of self-pity. (Bible Illustrator #3242)
In the midst of your own trial, you have the same choice. What choice will you make today? Please, don’t choose to wallow around in self-pity and sin. Instead, choose to love God and praise Him even in your pain.
