OPEN: In our brotherhood we had a great preacher named Wayne Smith who was something of a cutup on stage. He mentioned once that in English Class they taught him that using 2 negatives in a sentence made a positive statement. And he said that, since that was true “The way I figure it, if I know I’m lying, and God knows I’m lying – I gotta be telling the truth!”
Back in the 1990s there was a book entitled “The Day America Told the Truth”. In the book were the results of a survey of people across America about how often they lied. And these were some of the results:
91 % of those surveyed lied regularly about matters they considered trivial,
36 % lied about important matters.
80 % lied regularly to parents,
75 % to friends,
73 % to siblings, and
69 % to spouses
Now I have a hard time understanding that. I just can’t wrap my mind around the idea that people would lie as much as this book says. But one of the really sad things about that survey is how often people lied to their parents, their siblings and their spouses. This is family! Why on earth would you lie to your family?
Now God knows that people do just that. They lie! So one of the explicit commands God gave to His people was this: “Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices.” Colossians 3:9
In other words: lying may have been part of how you lived before you became a Christian (the “old self”), but now that they were Christians God expected that to change. He expected them to be tellers of truth, not lies.
Now, in our morning text today we have a case study in lying and the effects it had on the family. Just to give you a little background - Isaac and Rebekah were a Godly family in the days of the Patriarchs. They are held in high honor by the Jews that - to this very day – the Jewish people refer to their ancestors with pride: “Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.”
In time, Rebekah became pregnant, and Genesis 25:24-26 tells us “When (Rebekah’s) days to give birth were completed, behold, there were twins in her womb. The first came out red, all his body like a hairy cloak, so they called his name Esau. Afterward his brother came out with his hand holding Esau’s heel, so his name was called Jacob.”
Now take a look at this picture (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DMh4bFUN_f0/UpxoVugWNTI/AAAAAAAAIDo/OSOKcRlK-PM/s1600/p_0009.jpg). That’s Isaac and Rebekah and their 2 boys just “hanging out” together!!! They’re having a good time! They look so wholesome and peaceful. Isn’t that the way we all wish our families were???
Well… that’s not quite how this Bible family turned out. In our text this morning we find that they’re not all that wholesome and peaceful. Rebekah has encouraged Jacob to lie to his Dad and Jacob doesn’t even think twice about it!!!
Jacob lied like dog.
Now, the question is… why would he do that? Why would Jacob lie to his father? Well, the answer is in Genesis 25:27-28 “The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was a quiet man, staying among the tents. Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.”
Any time you see something in Scripture… it’s there for a reason. And here God is telling us why Jacob was willing to lie to Isaac: Isaac loved Esau … more than he loved Jacob.
Now, why on earth would Isaac love Esau more than Jacob? Apparently Esau was a man’s man (a skilled hunter and a man of the open country) while Jacob was kind of a momma’s boy (stays amongst the tents). Jacob had become an embarrassment to his Dad, and Jacob knew it. So when the time came to lie to dad… well it was a no brainer.
SO FIRST, Jacob lied because he was resentful of his father.
2ndly – he lied because he had CONTEMPT for Esau.
As far as Jacob was concerned, Esau doesn’t deserve this blessing from his father. Esau would only squander it like he did everything else in his life. Esau has made all kinds of bad choices and Jacob was convinced he’d make bad choices when it came to the blessing his father was going to give him.
For example, in Genesis 25:29-34 we read: “Once when Jacob was cooking stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was exhausted. And Esau said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am exhausted!”… Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright now.” Esau said, “I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?” Jacob said, “Swear to me now.” So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.”
Now, just to clarify something here: the birthright mentioned here had to do with the inheritance the boys would receive. According to tradition the older son (Esau) would receive twice as much as any other sibling (in this case, Jacob). This was to compensate the firstborn for taking care of the estate when the parent died.
What Esau was doing was giving away half his inheritance for a bowl of soup!!! That was insane. In fact it was so insane that even Hebrews speaks of this: “See that no-one is… godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son.” Hebrews 12:16
Essentially, Esau was a man driven by his earthly passions. If he wanted something badly enough he’d get it no matter the cost. He wanted what he wanted when he wanted it.
IILLUS: Years ago I knew a man who had a cardboard box that he kept in his closet. In the cardboard box he placed all the lottery tickets he’d ever purchased. They weren’t worth anything!!! So why did he keep them? Well, he kept them because they represented the “investment” he had made in the lottery (he truly saw them as valuable). Essentially he had wasted all that money on a few pieces of worthless paper! Or as Scripture puts it: for a mess of pottage.
And that’s the kind of guy Esau was. That which was really precious didn’t matter to him. All that mattered was that he got what he wanted when he wanted it.
So Jacob sees his brother as someone who doesn’t deserve what he’s about to get from Dad. And it really doesn’t matter to Esau anyway. I mean, it’s not like Esau cared about anything… so Jacob lied.
He lied because he resented his father. And he lied because he had contempt for his brother
But Jacob also lied for a more basic reason.
He DIDN’T TRUST God.
In Genesis 25:23 we read “And the LORD said to (Rebekah), “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger.”
The older shall serve the younger? Which one was the older brother? (Esau) And who was the younger brother? (Jacob). In other words, even before they were born, God had decreed that in spite of the fact that Esau would be stronger than Jacob… Jacob would rule over Esau.
That was the promise! Jacob should have seen that as a “done deal, but instead he didn’t see fit to trust God to fulfill that promise.
When people don’t trust God they end up doing all kinds evil and selfish things. Why? Because they see the outcome of any situation as depending upon how well they personally can manipulate the circumstances. After all, if there is no one who has their back, then it is up to them to protect themselves.
That’s why wives lie to their husbands. That’s why men lie to their wives. That’s why kids lie to their parents… they are trying to manipulate the situation. And of course, that’s why Jacob lied to his dad and cheated his brother. He didn’t trust God to do anything about his situation
When people don’t trust God… they’ll do all kinds of evil things: They’ll lie, they’ll cheat, they’ll gossip, they’ll steal. They’ll do whatever they’ve got to do… because God’s not there to help!
People behave like this because they haven’t learned the basic principle of faith in God.
ILLUS: One man told of a college professor he had who’d often say "When you think nothing is happening, be assured (with God) something is happening. He is not sitting idly by.” And then he cited 4 Scriptures:
"Commit your way to the Lord: trust in Him and He will do this" (Ps. 37:5).
"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him" (Ps. 37:7).
"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret — it leads only to evil" (Ps. 37:8).
"The Lord delights in the way of a man whose steps He has made firm" (Ps. 37:23).
(H.B. London Jr. “The Pastor’s Weekly Briefing”)
But people who lie don’t believe that. They don’t trust God.
Now, what is really odd was that Jacob WAS a religious man (he might fit right in at most churches). He didn’t trust God… but he was religious. For example - as he was running for his life to get away from Esau he stopped overnight a place called Bethel, and while he’s there, God gives him a vision (God hasn’t given up on Jacob). Jacob is so impressed by the vision that he offered to make a deal with God.
Genesis 28:20 -22 “IF God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father’s house, THEN the LORD will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God’s house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth.”
He’s a religious man… he prays to God. But even in this he doesn’t trust God. IF you’ll do this for me (give me food, clothing and assure me a safe return back home) THEN I’ll set up a pillar. THEN I’ll worship You. THEN I’ll give you money!
ILLUS: Have you ever read the comic strip “Dilbert”? In one of his comic strips he gave his opinion of religion: “I decided to start a discount religion. The tithing would only be 5% and I’d let people sin as much as they wanted. The only problem is that I don’t want to spend time with anyone who would join that sort of religion.”
Jacob had a “Dilbert” kind of faith. Jacob wasn’t sold out to God. Jacob wanted a God he could manipulate just like he manipulated everyone else. And God played along… for a while. He let Jacob choose his own path. But eventually the consequences of Jacob’s lies & his manipulations caught up with him.
He ended up working for his uncle Laban for 20 years in order to marry Rachel and receive the dowry he should have been given. Laban was more of a manipulator and liar than Jacob had ever been. And then, when Jacob finally did get home, his momma had already died.
Jacob got what he wanted. But it cost him a major portion of his life, and it cost him the ability to ever see his mother… ever again. It didn’t have to be that way. But when you choose not to trust God and seek to manipulate Him - that’s what happens.
But God says: if you’re gonna be my child… you’ve got to trust me. You’ve to quit trying to manipulate things. You’ve got to embrace truth and reject falsehood. In Isaiah 63:8 God declared: “Surely they are MY people, children who will not deal falsely.”
People who trust God don’t lie!!! They don’t manipulate others!!!! They don’t have to. When they’re down to nothing… they KNOW God is up to something.
(At this point in this sermon I went off script)
When I finally put this sermon together for this morning something bothered me. It told a lot about the lying that ravaged Jacob’s family life and it spoke to why he had lied and cheated his family… but I couldn’t see how it personally dwelt with our lives. I don’t see you folks as the type to lie and cheat to get their way… so what could I say to address your needs and struggles in the family.
So what I’m doing right now is going off Script. For those of you back in the sound booth don’t get confused – I’m making this up as I go and it’s not in the manuscript you received this weekend. For the rest of you – this next part is free. I won’t charge for the extra part of the sermon you’re about to hear.
It occurred to me that there was more to a Christian’s life than simply “not lying.” It’s not enough for us to “not lie”… we should be those “tell the truth.” As Ephesians 4:15 tells us, we to be: “… speaking the truth in love…”
Speaking the truth! Last weekend we had a seminar here (presented by the group “Ascent 121”) that spoke about the growing problem of sex trafficking and sexual abuse. And in their presentation they shared the stories of 4 young women who had been caught up this tragedy. It seemed to me that every one of their stories had a similar theme: they didn’t think they were worth all that much and so it was easy for pimps to worm their way into the girls’ lives.
Now, I could be wrong, but I’m convinced that those girls didn’t have parents who repeatedly told them the “truth” that they were precious in the eyes of God. The “truth” that their lives were too important to be thrown away. The “truth” that they were loved and treasured by their parents.
Too often, in families, people don’t tell each other “truths” like that because they presume their family members should know they are loved and cherished. But too often, they treat each other like the friend of father’s dealt with his wife. The wife once said to him “you don’t love me do you?” To which he responded: “I told you once I loved you. That should be enough.”
Another aspect of this principle is that the truth should be “spoken in love”. I’ve found that in many families, the family members get upset with one another because they have a list of expectations that the other person isn’t fulfilling… but then they never share what it is they’re upset about. They simply presume the other person should KNOW why they’re upset. And when they DO tell the truth of why they’re upset they rarely say it in love.
(At this point I began to yell) “Why do you always leave your clothing on the floor? Why don’t you appreciate all the work I do around here? Just who do think I am!!!!”
(In a softer voice) Those things may all be “truth”, but they aren’t spoken in love. Even if they aren’t shouted at the other member of the family, they are seen as nagging because there’s no comment of love or conciliation.
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we should layer our frustrations with each other by telling the other person how much they mean to us. Perhaps the comments can suggest disappointment but can couch that disappointment in how highly to regard that person.
Now… back to our regularly scheduled sermon….
I have one last question to address this morning.
What if you have trouble trusting God? What if you can’t seem to help yourself? You just have to find a way to manipulate your situation… how can you change that?
Well, when did things change for Jacob? It happened one night as Jacob was making his way back home (after 20 yrs.). He’s on his way back to try to be restored with his family. To make peace with his brother, who had threatened to kill him and of whom he’s not sure has forgiven him yet. So even in this attempt to reconcile with his brother Jacob is still trying to manipulate the situation. That is… until he met with God.
Genesis 32 tells us: “Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him.
Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.”
But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.”
Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.”
Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him.
So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.” Genesis 32:25 & 30
It was at that point that Jacob’s life changed. It was at that point where he began to trust God more completely, because it was then that… Jacob wrestled with God.
CLOSE: A wrestling coach once commented on this passage. He said that the hip is the wrestler’s pivot point, the core of his strength. God couldn’t give Jacob the blessing he desperately needed until Jacob could no longer rely on his OWN strength. It isn’t until the angel of the Lord dislocated Jacob’s hip that Jacob surrendered and received what he’s really wanted all along – a blessing.
If you have trouble trusting God you need to come to a point where you wrestle with God. And when you come face to face with God you can become aware of how weak you really are and how much you really need God’s power in your life.
INVITATION
