Summary: To maintain healthy relationships, don't take from the relationship; instead, work to give to that relationship.

Three college freshman and three seniors were traveling home for Spring break. At the station, the three freshmen bought tickets for themselves and watched as the seniors bought just one ticket.

“How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?” asked one of the freshmen.

“Watch and learn,” answered one of the seniors.

They all boarded the train. The three freshmen took their respective seats as all three seniors crammed into a little bathroom together and closed the door. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the bathroom door and said, “Ticket, please.” The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.

The freshmen watching all this agreed that it was a clever idea, so they decided to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.

When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. The seniors were also there, but they didn't buy a ticket at all.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” asked one perplexed freshman.

“Watch and learn,” answered a senior.

When they boarded the train, the three seniors crammed themselves into one little bathroom and the three freshmen crammed into another one across the way.

Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the seniors left their bathroom and walked to the bathroom where the freshmen were hiding. The senior knocked on their door and said, “Ticket, please.” (Author unknown; adapted and submitted by Aaron Goerner, Utica, New York; www.PreachingToday.com)

That was clever, but it was also very stupid. Those seniors might have saved some money, but they sold their integrity, and they destroyed any relationship they might have had with those freshmen.

When we talk about maintaining healthy relationships, the Bible is very practical on this point. In 10 simple commands, it tells us how to love God and to truly love people. If you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Exodus 20, Exodus 20, where we get this practical help on all our relationships. This morning we’re looking at the 8th command.

Exodus 20:15 You shall not steal.

There you have it, pure, plain, and simple. If you want to maintain healthy relationships, then don’t steal; don’t rob one another…

DON’T TAKE what doesn’t belong to you.

Now, obviously, this covers the “big” sins like robbing a bank, or shoplifting. But stealing also involves things like taking a person’s time by being late for an appointment, taking someone’s honor through gossip, or borrowing something and not returning it. Stealing involves cheating on a test or paper at school, keeping the change when you’re given too much, or calling in sick at work when you’re not.

According to the U.S. Department of Commerce, employee dishonesty costs American businesses over $50 billion annually. And one of every three business failures are the direct result of employee theft. (Bob Mather, Employee theft: Prevention Beats Apprehension; www.PreachingToday.com)

Petty theft may seem to be a little thing, but it creates big problems.

The movie Cinderella Man tells the true story of boxing legend James J. Braddock (played by Russell Crowe), who made an incredible comeback during the Great Depression. Injured and arthritic, Braddock's promising career was cut short, and he had to go on public assistance when he couldn't get work at the docks in New Jersey.

During this time of need, his son, Jay, steals a salami from the butcher to help feed the family. When Jim gets back from another unsuccessful day of trying to find work, he finds out what his son has done and takes immediate action. Take a look… (Show Cinderella Man – Stealing Sausage video from WingClips.com)

Without pause they go straight to the butcher and turn in the stolen meat. Then Jim walks his son home and listens to his boy's concern that he will be sent away to distant relatives because they don't have enough food.

When Jim hears his boy's fears, he stops right there on the sidewalk for a heart-to-heart talk:

“Yeah, well things ain't easy at the moment, Jay,” he tells his son. “But there's a lot of people worse off than we are. And just cuz' things ain't easy, that doesn't give you the excuse to take what's not yours, does it? That's stealing, right? And we don't steal. No matter what happens we don't steal. Not ever. You got me?”

Then Jim gets down on his knees and looks eye to eye with his son. “Are you giving me your word?”

Little Jay says, “Yes, I promise.”

Then Jim shakes his son's hand and says, “And I promise you we will never send you away.”

The boy falls into his dad's arms crying, obviously scared to death that the Great Depression is going to separate him from his father. Jim picks him up and carries him home, saying into his ear, “It's okay, kid. You got a little scared. I understand.” (Cinderella Man, Universal, 2005, written by Cliff Hollingsworth and directed by Ron Howard, 13:35 to 16:22; www.PreachingToday.com)

That father had it right: “No matter what happens we don’t steal. Not ever”. It’s just not worth it – not the loss of personal integrity, nor the damage to your relationships.

Some time ago, the Associated Press ran a story about a young man who tried to steal gas from Dennis Quiggly’s motor home in Seattle, Washington. His intent was to stick a rubber hose in the motor home’s gas tank, suck on the other end of the hose until he got a mouth full of gas, and spit it out. Then with the gasoline flowing through the hose, he intended to fill his own tank.

Dennis Quiggly happened to be inside his motor home at the time. And when he heard some noises outside, he ran out and discovered the thief curled on the ground vomiting violently. Intending to suck up the contents of the gas tank, the thief had put his hose into the wrong hole – and had sucked up the contents of the sewage tank instead.

The thief, a boy 14, was not prosecuted. Dennis and the police agreed that he had suffered enough.” (Associated Press, www.SermonCentral.com)

That boy discovered the hard way that stealing can be very distasteful. Stealing of any kind hurts you and it hurts your relationships. So if you want to maintain healthy relationships, then don’t steal; don’t take what doesn’t belong to you. Instead…

WORK.

Exert yourself. Do some honest labor to get what you need.

If you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Ephesians 4, Ephesians 4, where we have the New Testament commentary on this commandment, “You shall not steal.”

This is a chapter which talks about maintaining the unity of the church (vs.3) through healthy relationships, and it has a lot of practical suggestions towards the end of the chapter. One of those suggestions is found in verse 28.

Ephesians 4:28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. (ESV)

Instead of stealing, work. Do something useful with your own hands, so that you have something to give to your relationships, not take from them. That’s the positive side of this command. The negative side – don’t steal. The positive side – work!

On February 24, 1989, United Airlines Flight 811 took off from Honolulu on its way to New Zealand. The 747 had climbed to twenty-two thousand feet when the forward cargo door of the jet blew open, tearing a huge hole in the side of the plane. Nine passengers were immediately sucked out of the plane to their deaths. The two right engines were damaged by flying debris and taken out of commission. The plane was one hundred miles from land. The captain, David Cronin, brought all of his wisdom and thirty-eight years of piloting experience to bear.

His stickiest problem was deciding how fast to fly… Because the hole had changed the aero-dynamics of the huge craft, the usual data regarding stall speed was no longer relevant. The pilot [knowing this] had to use his best judgment. Furthermore, since the plane had just taken on 300,000 pounds of fuel for the long flight, it was too heavy to land without collapsing the landing gear… Then he encountered a new problem. The wing flaps used to slow down the plane were not working properly… He would have to land the plane at 195 miles per hour, compared to the normal speed of 170 miles per hour. The jet weighed 610,000 pounds, well above Boeing's recommended maximum stress load of 564,000 pounds. Nevertheless, Captain Cronin made one of the smoothest landings the rest of the crew could remember, amid the cheers of the passengers. Airline experts called the landing miraculous… A few days later an interviewer asked Captain Cronin about his first thoughts following the loss of the cargo door. He said, “I said a prayer for my passengers momentarily and then got back to business.”

When United Airlines Flight 811 got into trouble, the greatest gift Captain Cronin had for his passengers was his experience and good judgment… The critical issue was this: was he competent enough as a pilot to bring that badly damaged plane in safely?

New York pastor, Tim Keller in commenting on this incident, said, “One of the main ways that you love others in your work is through the 'ministry of competence' … or serving God by doing your job as well as it can be done.” (Tim Keller and Katherine Leary Alsdorf, Every Good Endeavor, Dutton Adult, 2012, pp. 76-79; www.PreachingToday.com)

You don’t have to be in ministry to serve God. Just do the work He has given you to do well.

A working man once approached Martin Luther, asking him how he could serve God. Luther asked him, “What is your work now?”

The man said, “I'm a shoemaker.”

Much to the cobbler's surprise, Luther replied, “Then make good shoes and sell them at a fair price.” (Tullian Tchividjian, “Our Calling, Our Spheres,” Leadership journal, Summer 2010, p. 98; www.PreachingToday.com)

Our work honors God no matter what it is; and when we do it well, it serves others to His glory!

Alexander Fraser Tytler made this interesting observation at the founding of our own nation in 1776.

“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world's greatest civilizations has been 200 years.

“Great nations rise and fall. The people go from bondage to spiritual truth, to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy to dependence, from dependence back again to bondage.”

I wonder: where are we in this cycle? Like never before, people are voting for candidates that promise them the most from the public treasury. They want free health care, free food, and free housing.

In fact, this “entitlement” or “free lunch” mentality led our nation into nearly 10 years of a struggling economy. It began with the housing market crash in 2008 and led to a great recession, from which we are just now beginning to recover.

When all this began in September, 2008, Terry Jones of the Investor's Business Daily described why it all happened. He said:

President Carter signed the Community Reinvestment Act in 1977, which pushed Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to aggressively lend money to low-income communities. It was his contention that every American should own their own home, whether or not they could afford it.

When Clinton got into office, he “supercharged the process.” He put in place new rules and regulations, which gave Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac extraordinary leverage, allowing them to hold just 2.5% of capital to back their investments, vs. the 10% required for banks.

With government guarantees and government incentives in place, banks made loans to people that required no money down and no verification of income. People who could not afford it, were given extraordinary loans, and by 2007, Fannie and Freddie owned or guaranteed nearly half of the $12 trillion U.S. mortgage market.

When President Bush and others began to warn congress of an impending crisis, most congressmen ignored it, because Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were financing 384 of their campaigns to the tune of $200 million over the last 20 years. (Terry Jones, “How A Clinton-Era Rule Rewrite Made Subprime Crisis Inevitable,” Investor's Business Daily, Posted Wednesday, September 24, 2008, 4:30 PM PT)

“Free money” was available for the taking. And all went well as long as housing prices kept going up. If a person couldn’t pay their mortgage, which many couldn’t, no problem! Just foreclose on the property and sell it for more than what was owed. Banks were making money hand over fist with these subprime loans, and it worked as long as the housing prices kept going up.

But when the housing market began to drop, the whole system came crashing down like a house of cards. Banks couldn’t sell foreclosed properties at a high enough price to cover their losses, and everybody felt the pain. Retirement accounts tanked. Many people lost their jobs and were unable to find work. As a result, nearly 100 million people gave up trying and dropped out of the workforce.

It was all because of an “entitlement” philosophy and greed at every level. People wanted a “free lunch” without the work. People wanted to take, instead of working to give. They were ignoring the 8th commandment: “You shall not steal.” And it hurt the nation!

My friends, if you want healthy relationships in your homes, in your community, and in your nation, then learn not to take, but to work, so you can…

GIVE TO THOSE IN NEED.

So you can provide for those who cannot provide for themselves.

You see, you don’t work just to meet your own needs. You work so you have something to share with others in need. That’s the foundation of a healthy society and the foundation for all healthy relationships. Look at Ephesians 4:28 again.

Ephesians 4:28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. (ESV)

The opposite of taking is giving. The opposite of stealing is sharing, and that’s the spirit of the 8th commandment: Don’t take; give!

It’s a reflection of the character and nature of Christ, who came “not to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). Christ gave His all for you! He gave His all to ransom you from a life of greed to a life of gracious generosity.

All you need to do is put your trust in Him. All you need to do is let Him live His generous life through you. For Christ not only inspires His followers to give; He empowers them to do so when they depend on Him even if they don’t think they can give.

Theologian Heiko Oberman talks about spending some time in Nanjing, China, several years ago. On Sunday, he and his friends visited various churches in the city. An older Chinese woman now living in Los Angeles chose to visit a church across the river from Nanjing, a poor church composed of farmers. The 900 who were present for the service wanted to hear a word from their sister from the states, so Mrs. Chang brought greetings from her church in Los Angeles. She told how the Lord had added many to their church and how they were currently building a large new addition. Then after a word of blessing for this church, she took her seat.

At the close of the worship time, Mrs. Chang was called back to the front. The pastor said her words had thrilled their hearts. They wanted her to have the morning offering to help with the new building in Los Angeles — about $140. (Heiko A. Oberman, “Begging To Give,” The Christian Century, 6-14-03; www. PreachingToday.com)

Generosity is not dependent on how big your wallet is, but on how big your heart is. And when Jesus gets a hold of your heart, you can’t help but give. So trust Him with your life. Give your heart to Him, so He can make you into a gracious, generous person just like He is.

Then stop taking from your relationships. Instead, work to give to your relationships, so that they might become stronger and healthier.

Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton, a pair of researchers who authored the book Happy Money, recently conducted the following experiment:

They handed out Starbucks gift cards on a university campus… [and] told one group of people to head to Starbucks and buy something for themselves. They told another group to pass their gift card along to someone else. And they told a third group of people to use the gift card to buy something for someone else—with the stipulation that they actually hang out with that person at Starbucks.

Dunn and Norton concluded, “Who was happiest? Those who treated someone else and shared in that experience with them. So the cost of increasing your happiness may be as cheap as two cups of coffee.” (Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Horton, “How to Buy Happiness,” Los Angeles Times, 5-19-13; www.PreachingToday.com)

Whether its sharing two cups of coffee or something else, it is always more blessed to give than to receive.