The first time God spoke to me was over twenty years ago. I was traveling down Highway 16 and was almost at Jones’ Exxon when He said, “Look in the book of Acts.” I hadn’t been a Christian very long. Knew very little about the Bible. But I knew that a strong compulsion was upon me to look in the book of Acts.
So I arrived at the house, went inside, grabbed my Bible, told my wife what I had heard, and began flipping through the pages. Suddenly, I heard “Stop.”
I was taken to this passage. Acts 5: 33 - 39 “When they heard this, the high council was furious and decided to kill them. But one member, a Pharisee named Gamaliel, who was an expert in religious law and respected by all the people, stood up and ordered that the men be sent outside the council chamber for a while. Then he said to his colleagues, ‘Men of Israel, take care what you are planning to do to these men! Some time ago there was that fellow Theudas, who pretended to be someone great. About 400 others joined him, but he was killed, and all his followers went their various ways. The whole movement came to nothing. After him, at the time of the census, there was Judas of Galilee. He got people to follow him, but he was killed, too, and all his followers were scattered.
So my advice is, leave these men alone. Let them go. If they are planning and doing these things merely on their own, it will soon be overthrown. But if it is from God, you will not be able to overthrow them. You may even find yourselves fighting against God!’”
God then spoke to me and said, “Read this from the pulpit.” Now you need a little background information. At the time, I was attending a church of around 300 people. I was the new kid on the block since we had not been going there very long. In fact, we got there shortly before the new pastor that ruffled some old feathers and there was a huge movement to boot him out. Business meetings had gotten unruly and a couple of times it spilled into services. In fact, the Sunday before this word came to me, we went straight from the sermon into a business meeting and all the guest were asked to leave.
So here I sat wondering what was I to do. I called the pastor and told him that God had given me a passage to read. I may have even told him what it was. He said that he needed to get the approval of the deacons so I figured that was the end of that. However, he called back and said they had okayed it.
Suddenly I am immersed in scripture that I had never seen before. Exodus 32:9 And the Lord said to Moses, “I have seen this people, and indeed it is a stiff-necked people! and Ezekiel 34 1-4 “Then this message came to me from the Lord: ‘Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds, the leaders of Israel. Give them this message from the Sovereign Lord: What sorrow awaits you shepherds who feed yourselves instead of your flocks. Shouldn’t shepherds feed their sheep? You drink the milk, wear the wool, and butcher the best animals, but you let your flocks starve. You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost. Instead, you have ruled them with harshness and cruelty.”
That Sunday I spent twenty minutes blasting the deacons and the pastor for their ungodly behavior. It was even impressed upon me to tell them that Last Sunday someone was there that needed salvation but instead was pushed out the door so that the yelling could begin. This message came from a hard working, regular Joe, sitting on the back road. That was my first sermon.
The church split. I went with the group that called the renegade pastor to lead them. A new church was formed and I became a leader way before I was ready. But in this church another division developed. We had an elder rule of 7. Three leaned toward supporting the pastor, three leaned toward supporting the lead elder, and I was the one to court. Both men made me feel important and needed. I never realized until later how I was played.
The final outcome was the lead elder was fired causing this church to also split. The pastor left for the missions’ field, leaving the youth pastor in charge but planting the thought that I would need to be the one to run things. Soon a struggle developed between the youth pastor and me over whose church it really was. I rallied my side, he rallied his, and the church split again. Only this time I had nowhere to go. I was without a church and the church I left closed. I would carry the guilt of my being responsible for destroying that church for years.
Years went by before I found Cornerstone. I was embraced and welcomed. I was brought in and encouraged. I soon found myself in a leadership role again. And my dream came true. I became a licensed pastor. One day this church would be offered to me. I struggled with the decision to accept. I knew when Pastor Chris left his family would follow and I would have two members left. Those two are still here. With $3000 in the bank we would not last 3 months. We lasted 6 and a half years. We grew to as many as 40 and have dwindled down to 11 adults, with 2 leaving soon.
Five weeks ago God spoke to me again. He said “It’s time to end it.” I wasn’t praying or doing a devotional. I was loading the dishwasher. My mind was far from the church. This is how I know it was God. My first instinct was to look at the finances. Based on the giving of the 9 who remains we could still pay the rent, divisional tithes, and insurance with $104 left over. But we would exist solely for the purpose of making sure the landlord got her money. That’s not good stewardship.
We have become the Dead Sea. We pour our monies into just existing but nothing flows from us. We do nothing to impact the kingdom of God. To allow this to continue is an injustice to you. This would make me a very poor shepherd. Each of you need to be released to find that place where you can serve the kingdom. Your money needs to flow into a place where it can be flow out to impact the lives of others and promote the kingdom work. For me to do anything other than this would be for me to be disobedient to God. And you do not want a disobedient pastor. So as my final message to you God has given me three passages to share with you.
Psalm 37:4 “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.”
As I began to prepare my last sermon to you guys I went back to one of my first sermons. It was based on Acts 2:17 “ ‘In the last days,’ God says, ‘I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams.”
I talked about the difference between having vision and dreaming. Vision is an action word while dreaming is being passive. I saw us as a church of vision. I saw church where others would preach besides just me. God’s children would bring a word of prophecy, a teaching. A place where True Identity would expand to reach the music world and tell others about whitestone ministry. A church that would grow to fill the 80 chairs that we had ready to set up each Sunday. A church that would then multiply as 40 left to start a new work. It was a great vision. But there was one problem. It was my vision.
I went back to that encounter I had with God at South Mountain. What were my concerns that day? I struggled with staying. I worried about losing my pastoral license. I worried about how many would be left. I worried about destroying another church. What I wasn’t concerned about was his vision for me.
But God was gracious and told me exactly what He desired for me to do. He said “Love me, listen to me, agree with me, seek me, climb with me.” That was to be my ministry. Five simple things that I did to the best of my ability.
Let me tell you about climbing. When you reach the top you can’t climb any farther. I have reached the top because I have come to understand heart‘s desires.
As I have taught before the reference to your heart is always speaking of your inner being, that part of you that connects with God. When all that you desire to do is to please him, He will give you that desire. If you desire things that are not centered around pleasing him, than you do not have that promise. A desire for a better life, more success, healthy bodies, loving families, - all of these things are not wrong in themselves. But they are centered around pleasing you. If you want your heart’s desires, not your flesh’s desires, then seek that which pleases him.
My desire for a bigger church was not wrong but it wasn’t centered around pleasing him. My desire to see True Identity be a success was not wrong but it wasn’t centered around pleasing him. He gave me my heart’s desire by allowing me to love him, to sit with him and listen, to live in agreement with his word, to be just out of reach enough that I would have to seek him, and to climb to the top of my ministry so I could clearly see how well I pleased him. My ministry was not a failure. I did not fail. And neither did you.
Some of you have expressed anger at those who left. You may feel that they contributed to this day coming. Now I must turn the spotlight on you.
Matthew 7:3-4 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?”
Over the last years we saw major givers leave. The Sheltons, the Bakers, Brain, the Stegalls. Each one left a hole in my heart. I poured a lot into their lives. But given the opportunity, would you have done the same? Did you remain because of a sense of obligation to me or because you believed in this ministry? And if you believed in this ministry, did your giving reflect it? I just finished the tithe reports for the year. I know what you gave. I know who tithed and who didn’t. I know who supported this ministry and who didn’t based on their giving.
When I was trying to destroy that church so many years ago the first thing I did was quit giving. I knew without finances they would not make it. So I closed my billfold until I finally left. I knew I hurt that pastor and his ministry by what I had done. I often shared with others the story of my duplicity in destroying a church and God’s faithfulness in restoring me.
When I finally tracked down Brian to talk with him about why he left the subject of finances came up. I told him that his reluctance to give before he finally left hurt us financially. He responded by saying that he did not want to be the one that caused our church to fail. My response to him was “You are just a man. You don’t have the power to close this church. Only God can do that.”
Immediately God spoke to me and said, “Then why do you think you had that power at the other church?” Immediately I was freed from guilt and blame that I carried for years.
Listen to me those of you who did not tithe like you should have. I am not mad at you. I do not blame you. God does not blame you. But you must not blame those who have left for this days arrival. This is God’s doing. This is God’s will.
And so we come to the end of our journey. What road do we take next? Well, God wants me to tell you about roads.
Isaiah 59:8 “They don’t know where to find peace
or what it means to be just and good. They have mapped out crooked roads, and no one who follows them knows a moment’s peace.”
Usually as we walk along a road we describe it by it’s condition. At the beach it might be a sandy road. In the mountains it might be a winding road, or a gravel road, or maybe even a treacherous road.
The word road is mentioned 134 times in the Bible. This is the only time that a road is described. A crooked road mapped out by crooked people, not by God. However, a road in the Bible is always described by it’s destination.
There is the road to Jerusalem and to Bethlehem. There is the Damascus Road, Emmaus Road, and the Jericho Road. Every road was not known by it’s condition but by it’s destination. This is now our challenge.
When we leave here today we are setting our feet on a road to a new destination. The road may be difficult or it may be easy. It may be straight or it may be curvy. But take your eyes off the road and put them on your destination. God has a place for you to arrive at. It is a place for you to continue growing, to serve, and to sow. Seek that place. You may have travel through more than one destination to find it but it’s there. It is in this destination that you will find your shepherd and the flock for you to join with. I will not be your pastor but I will always be your family and your friend. And I love each of you with a love that words cannot describe. Now go. Love, listen, agree, seek, and climb with God.
