Hope for the Unequally Yoked
Series: Acts
Chuck Sligh
October 2, 2016
BLURB: Many believing spouses “unequally yoked” to an unsaved spouse. They naturally fear their children will follow in the steps of the unbelieving partner. Yet in Acts 16, we read of a young man who grew up in an unequally yoked home, yet was of inestimable value to the early church. What was it in his upbringing or his character that caused him to defy the odds? Join us Sunday as Pastor Sligh preaches on “Timothy: A Young Man.”
(NOTE: A PowerPoint and/or ProPresenter slide presentation is available upon request at churchsligh@hotmai.com.)
TEXT: Acts 16:1-5 – “Then came he to Derbe and Lystra: and, behold, a certain disciple was there, named Timotheus, the son of a certain woman, which was a Jewess, and believed; but his father was a Greek: 2 Which was well reported of by the brethren that were at Lystra and Iconium. 3 Him would Paul have to go forth with him; and took and circumcised him because of the Jews which were in those quarters: for they knew all that his father was a Greek. 4 And as they went through the cities, they delivered them the decrees for to keep, that were ordained of the apostles and elders which were at Jerusalem. 5 And so were the churches established in the faith, and increased in number daily.”
NOTE: We’ll also be in and out of 1 and 2 Timothy, so you may want to put a marker there.
INTRODUCTION
Timothy is one of the most pleasant people to study in the Bible. I don’t know of one thing bad or negative that was ever said in the Bible about him, something that cannot even be said about the Apostle Paul.
Acts 16 introduces us to this young man who became like a son to Paul – Note Philippians 2:19-23 – “But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timotheus shortly unto you, that I also may be of good comfort, when I know your state. 20 For I have no man likeminded, who will naturally care for your state. 21 For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ's. 22 But ye know the proof of him, that, as a son with the father, he hath served with me in the gospel. 23 Him therefore I hope to send presently, so soon as I shall see how it will go with me.”
Paul had complete confidence in Timothy; and saw him as a spiritual son in the faith. And he also saw him as a valuable co-laborer.
Later Timothy became the pastor of one of the churches that Paul had started. The books of 1 and 2 Timothy were written by Paul in a loving tone to his “son in the faith” on how to successfully pastor his church.
Yet as we’ll see, his mother was married to a non-believer. Often, Christians married to nonbelievers fear that their children will follow the steps of their unsaved spouse What was it in Timothy’s upbringing and in his character that made him defy the odds? Let’s look at Acts 16:1-5 a little more closely to find out…
I. NOTE FIRST OF ALL TIMOTHY’E DISCIPLESHIP – Acts 16:1 – “Then came he to Derbe and Lystra: and, behold, a certain disciple was there, named Timotheus, the son of a certain woman, which was a Jewess, and believed; but his father was a Greek.”
This verse says that Timothy was a “disciple.” Remember that being a disciple is more than merely being a believer. One becomes a BELIEVER by simply trusting in Christ. One becomes a DISCIPLE through strictly following the teachings of Christ.
Now Luke, the author of Acts, tells us that Timothy’s mother was a Jew who had become a believer in Jesus Christ, but his father was an unsaved Greek. That Timothy was a disciple gives hope to those of you who are married to unbelieving spouses.
The first key to Timothy’s rising above the influences of his unsaved dad is found in Timothy’s upbringing, which we’ll see in 2 Timothy 1 and 3:
In 2 Timothy 1:5, Paul write to Timothy: “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.”
In chapter 3, verses 14-15, Paul says this to Timothy: “But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; 15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.”
Timothy was discipled by his mother and grandmother! If you’re married to a nonbeliever, let me encourage you to not give up and to keep teaching your kids the Bible and keep them in church and encourage them to follow God—and most of all, to be an example to them of what it looks like to follow God.
I hope you will recognize how powerful are the two canons of the Word of God coupled with a consistent, godly, loving Christian life. And never forget how important prayer is for their salvation and walk with God. Your greatest battle is not the one you can SEE, but the unseen spiritual battle with Satan’s kingdom, for Paul reminds us in Ephesians 6:12 – “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”
But even families where both parents are believers need to diligently disciple their children. In fact, this is your MOST important task in life—more important than your job, advancing in your career or any activity you do or hobby you have.
God help us all to disciple our children by setting the right priorities in your life and in your family; by giving them a proper balance of positive nurture and teaching coupled with loving but firm discipline; by teaching God’s Word to your children; and by showing them by example how to be a disciple of Christ.
POEM: The short poem, The Little Chap Who Follows Me, reminds us of how important that last component of a godly example is, especially of a Christian dad:
A careful man I ought to be—
A little fellow follows me.
I do not dare to go astray,
For fear he’ll go the selfsame way.
I cannot once escape his eyes.
What’er he sees me do, HE tries.
LIKE ME, he says he’s going to be—
The little chap who follows me.
He thinks that I am good and fine,
Believes in every word of mine.
Wrong steps by me he must not see—
The little fellow who follows me.
I must remember as I go,
Through summer’s sun and winter’s snow,
I’m building for the years to be,
The little chap who follows me.
II. SECOND, I’D LIKE YOU TO NOTE THAT TIMOTHY DEFIED THE ODDS BECAUSE HE HAD A BEEN TAUGHT TO GUARD HIS TESTIMONY– Acts 16:2 – “Which was well reported of by the brethren that were at Lystra and Iconium.”
Timothy was “well reported by the brethren”; that is, he had a “good testimony.” His mother Eunice and his grandmother Lois must have pounded this into Timothy.
Young people, when your parents try to keep you from sinful and harmful activities, they’re not just trying to make your life miserable. They LOVE you and want God’s best for you. Listen to them when they encourage you to live a godly and righteous life. They’re trying to protect you from harm, but also your reputation for the future. So no matter what friends may entice you, DO RIGHT; listen to your parents; obey them.
How many times have I seen young people go their own way and follow lost friends and listen to the counsel of the ungodly and do things they know are wrong? Teens—Live for God! Obey Him! Do right! Have a good testimony! Please your Lord and honor your parents.
Eunice and Lois trained Timothy well, and the fruit of it was a young man who got through his teenage years with his testimony intact.
III. A THIRD THING EUNICE AND LOIS INSTILLED IN TIMOTHY WAS SELFLESS “DEFERENCE” – Acts 16:3, says, “Him would Paul have to go forth with him; and took and circumcised him because of the Jews which were in those quarters: for they knew all that his father was a Greek.”
Deference is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as “Giving in to or yielding to the wish or judgment of another.”
From a biblical perspective, deference can be defined this way: “Enhancing my opportunities for services by voluntarily yielding my rights so that I am not an offence or stumbling block for others.”
So how did Timothy demonstrate this?
Verse 3 is interesting, especially when you see Acts 16 in its context with the chapter before it.
Verse 3 tells us that Timothy, a grown young man, allowed himself to be circumcised.
Now today, unless you are Jewish or Muslim or there is a medical reason for it, circumcision is something that is decided by a boy’s parents for hygienic reasons and is not generally performed in adulthood—God forbid!
In other words, it’s not really a big deal to us today.
It’s like an inny or an outy belly button—some have it and some don’t, and nobody gives a hoot generally speaking.
But in the early church it was an issue that almost split the church wide open.
Now let’s go back to Acts 15, which we looked at a couple of weeks ago and look again today at how the early church dealt with this issue of circumcision.
• In verses 1-5, circumcision for believing Gentiles becomes a HUGE issue.
• Verse 6 tells us that a Church Council was called to deal with this issue and the deeper issue of whether Gentiles had to keep the Old Testament Law – “And the apostles and elders came together for to consider of this matter.”
• Verse 7 describes how divisive an issue this whole matter was – “And when there had been much disputing, Peter rose up…” and gave his opinion.
• The issue was discussed and argued in the rest of verse 7 through verse 18.
• In verse 19, James, the chief elder and apostle at the church at Jerusalem, gave his conclusion—that the Gentile believers did not have to be circumcised or keep the Mosaic Law – “Wherefore my sentence is, that we trouble not them, which from among the Gentiles are turned to God.”
• Verses 23-29 tell us that letters were sent out to all the churches stating that it was not necessary for believers to be circumcised or otherwise keep the Law, but to avoid certain practices that were especially offensive to Jews.
• Note the response of the Gentile believers in Acts 15:31 – “Which when they had read, they rejoiced for the consolation.”
So, in chapter 15 believers were told that they did NOT have to be circumcised. Then we go over to chapter 16—the NEXT chapter and Timothy is circumcised! Timothy did not have to be do that. He certainly could have proclaimed that the Jerusalem Council had exempted him from circumcision, so no way was he going through the pain and trouble.
A less mature, more self-centered young person might have proclaimed his liberty and said, “I can’t wait to get out of this home so I can do what I want to do!” Timothy, young though he was, recognized that sometimes one’s liberty in Christ should be limited for greater usefulness in the Lord’s service.
This is not a popular theme today—limiting my rights for others. But a rebellious spirit has been perennial problems with youth from time immemorial. Where did Timothy’s ability to buck the natural pull of the flesh in his youth and submit to a painful procedure to be used by God come from?—I believe these things were instilled in him as a child in the cradle of a godly mother and grandmother.
IV. LASTLY, CONSIDER TIMOTHY’S EFFECTIVENESS – Acts 16:5 – “And so were the churches established in the faith, and increased in number daily.”
Because his mother and grandmother had properly discipled him, taught him to maintain a godly life and good testimony and instilled in him a willingness to sacrifice his liberty for greater prospects of service, God blessed Timothy’s ministry with Paul. Of course, all these churches getting grounded and the increase of souls into God’s kingdom were not just because of Timothy. But because of the factors mentioned above, he was equipped to serve and be used greatly and was an effective and powerful contributor to Paul’s ministry team. And he will share in the rewards of Paul at the Judgment Seat of Christ.
CONCLUSION
Now let’s tie all this together as we close by making three applications and one caveat to our lives today:
1) First of all, if you’re a parent, whether in a believing or unequal marriage, are you discipling your children or are you just a bystander in their spiritual development?
Are you committed to the task of teaching your children about God and His Word? There is NOTHING more important this this holy task.
One way to begin is to dedicate your children to the Lord and dedicate yourself to rearing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. On November 6, we will have a child dedication, and I encourage you to participate if you have never dedicated your child and yourself to the Lord.
But discipling your kids is not something you do once in a child dedication ceremony and then forget about it. Every single day of your life, you should be committed to the teaching your kids about God and His Word and the way of salvation through Jesus Christ, and training them to follow God.
2) Second, if you’re someone here today who is seeking the Lord, but your spouse is either not a believer, or is severely backslidden, let me encourage you to have hope.
The task is monumental, but with God’s power and with a lot of prayer and a lot of determination, and mostly with God’s Word, you can make an eternity of difference in the lives of your children. I’ve seen it time and time again in my own ministry where a mother brought up her kids while married to an unbeliever, and sometimes even a mocker of God. And I’ve seen hard cases come to Christ after years of praying for your lost spouse because of the faithfulness and godliness of the saved spouse. It’s tough, but God promises, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13).
3) Lastly, we in the church have a role too.
It may not take a village to raise a child but it sure helps to have a supportive church to raise a godly child today. If you know of an unequally yoked family, make special efforts to reach out to the kids. More often than not, in an unequally yoked family, it’s the wife who is married to an unbelieving father, as was the case with Timothy. Boys in such homes desperately need to see Christ lived out in the lives of MEN, and girls need to see that too so they have a pattern for the kind of godly husband they should choose.
May we at GBC look out over our congregation and be a support and an encouragement to those who are struggling in an unequal marriage, often accompanied by marital problems. They need our support, our prayers, and our helping hand.
4) And let me give one caveat.
Even in homes of two believers, kids can go astray. If your kids are grown and you did your best, don’t blame yourself. Ultimately every child has a free will to choose their own way, and sometimes they choose the wrong path. Adam and Eve had a perfect Father and lived in a perfect environment, yet they chose to go astray—and plunged the whole world in sin.
May we, by God’s grace and in much humility and prayer, raise up some mighty Timothys!
