Message
Luke 14:25-35
“Hate Your Father and Mother”
Today it is Mother’s Day. What are Mothers?
They’re the soothing voice in the middle of the night when you have been woken by a scary dream.
They are the welcoming embrace always ready to be given even when you have been really bad.
Mothers are generally the provider of meals which are made with heart and soul.
They’re the ones with all-powerful kiss which is able to make every sore better.
They are the embodiment of love and compassion.
That’s a mother isn’t it? She is the wife of noble character. She is the one we trust. She is there when we need her.
With that picture in the background let’s read Luke 14:25-35
“If anyone comes after me and does not hate their … mother … they cannot be my disciple.”
When you put it that way Jesus doesn’t seem to be a fan of Mother’s Day, does He.
No breakfast in bed for Mary that is for sure!
There is no doubt that this section of Scripture qualifies as a “Hard Saying of Jesus”.
Because it is hard to understand what Jesus is saying - especially when He uses the H-word.
HATE
It is hard … and seems strange … that Jesus would use such language. Especially when we think about other words from Jesus.
39 And the second (greatest commandment) is … : ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:39)
Surely, if we are called to love our neighbour, then family is part of that.
After all, there are a number of children who are literally the neighbour to their parents!
44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:44).
Love enemies? But hate your mother!!?
We can’t be putting the enemy below Mum, surely.
19 Honour your father and mother. (Matthew 19:19)
How can you honour if you hate?
There is something strange going on here. Something that we are perhaps missing.
And that “something” is the meaning of the word HATE
The dictionary defines hate in the following way.
when it is a verb:-
to dislike intensely or passionately;
to feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward;
to detest:
when it is a noun:-
intense dislike;
extreme aversion or hostility.
All the mums sitting here this morning are thinking, “What have I done?”
I know my hormonal teenager can get like this at times. But Jesus feels like this?
Let’s be honest even if our mums have not been that great.
Because that happens sometimes doesn’t it.
Mother’s Day is not a celebration of “nice and wonderful”, but it is actually a grief-filled reminder of “darkness and pain”.
But even then … it takes a lot of really negative emotion to have that extreme adversity towards a mum, doesn’t it.
Now you are not sure why, but you know that, when Jesus says “hate” He does not have our modern definition in mind.
And the “why” comes because of history. More specifically the historical reality the Jesus is a Jew. And when Jesus speaks these words He is speaking to a Jewish audience.
So Jesus is using here a Hebrew understanding of “hate”.
The idea is communicated in a strange law in Deuteronomy
15 If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love,16 when he wills his property to his sons, he must not give the rights of the firstborn to the son of the wife he loves in preference to his actual firstborn, the son of the wife he does not love.
Deuteronomy 21:15-17
The unloved wife is not “hated” it is just that the has an attitude of indifference towards one of the wives.
The concept of “hate” in Hebrew is more along the lines of “I prefer X to Y”.
Like I said, a strange law that raises al sort of hackles, but it helps us understand.
We see a similar thing happening in Malachi.
2 “I have loved you,” says the Lord.
“But you ask, ‘How have you loved us?’
“Was not Esau Jacob’s brother?” declares the Lord. “Yet I have loved Jacob, 3 but Esau I have hated (Malachi 1:2-3)
Does that mean Esau got nothing from God?
Not at all. Here is an instruction from God to the Israelites as they come from Egypt into the promised land.
4 Give the people these orders: ‘You are about to pass through the territory of your relatives the descendants of Esau, who live in Seir. They will be afraid of you, but be very careful. 5 Do not provoke them to war, for I will not give you any of their land, not even enough to put your foot on. I have given Esau the hill country of Seir as his own.
(Deuteronomy 2:4-5)
Such blessing to Esau and his descendants are not the result of Esau being despised by God. It is more an issue of preference.
So it isn’t always the case in Hebrew that “hate” means to “detest” or “despise”.
The same is happening in our text. It is an issue of “having preference”
To recognise that, when it comes to making a commitment for Jesus, ultimately He gets preference over everyone one else.
Even your own family - those who are really close to you - if they are a source of rebellion for you … or if they cause you to compromise on God’s Word … then you give preference to Jesus and refuse to be drawn away.
Can you see what Jesus is doing? He is setting up a huge calling. A calling where Jesus wants to make sure we understand the cost.
Because if Jesus gets preference over everyONE - even those who are the closest to us. - then Jesus is also to get preference over everyTHING.
Career. Finances. Life Purpose. Relationships. Leisure. Value.
You name it. It’s in the list. Everything.
That is what discipleship is … which makes discipleship a very interesting dynamic.
Because, when it comes to being a disciple, our salvation cost Jesus everything.
It cost Him the glories and splendour of heaven, which were exchanged for a life of suffering, humility and lowliness.
It cost Him the praise of the angels, which were exchanged for a life of ridicule and scorn through the mouths of unrighteous men.
It cost Him unity with the Father, which was exchanged for a time by wrath and anger as God turned His back on His Son.
It cost Him His very life, which was exchanged for an agonising death on the cross as He submitted to death.
When thinking about discipleship we must always come back to the central truth that Jesus has paid the price.
Salvation is a free-gift. It is fully an act of grace.
But just because it is free - it doesn’t mean that it produces cheap disciples.
When Jesus comes into our lives He bring meaning and purpose. Confessing Jesus as Lord means you now have God-goals for your life.
When Jesus does that you cannot be the same any longer.
When you see what you have become in Christ you cannot just go through the motions.
Salvation is a free gift but it should not produce cheap disciples.
Suppose I had a desire to climb Mount Everest. As I start thinking about it I discover that it costs about $70,000 to do it and I don’t have that kind of money.
Now let’s imagine that a wealthy businessman heard of my desire and offered to pay for the entire expedition. He would buy all the expensive clothing and gear; he would pay for my transportation, the guides, and the training. It’s totally free for me.
But if I accept his free offer, I have just committed myself to months of difficult training and strenuous effort. It could even cost me my very life, because many good climbers die trying to climb Mount Everest. It is free but it is not cheap.
Now, at this point, it is very easy to introduce the “guilt-trip” approach to preaching.
I want you to understand that what I say from here is not about piling on a “guilt-trip” but let’s have a bit of a reality check.
How quickly do you turn your love for Jesus into hate for Jesus
… in the Hebrew sense of “giving preference to X over Y” type of hate …
How quickly do you turn your preference
When you are faced with making a choice for discipleship?
I stayed out too late last night … I need to sleep in.
I’m going onto the internet to do my personal Bible Study … Oh look a cat video.
I had a big week at work. I have an exam. I couldn’t mow the lawn yesterday.
Clara has invited us to little Timmy’s first birthday party.
It’s raining.
Mum expects me to visit.
No guilt trips, but let’s be honest. How serious are we about counting the cost?
How quickly do our preferences change because a different offer has come up?
Jesus is challenging us.
Not because, by doing these things, we are “more saved”.
Rather Jesus wants us to see that a relationship with Him moves us beyond mediocrity.
There is a cartoon on the 1983 Leadership Magazine called “The Lite Church”
It is up on the screen. The billboard outside the church says:-
(you can find the cartoon at
http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2004/april-online-only/church-that-demands-less.html)
There are too many churches like that in this world. And what has been the result?
Mediocrity.
People doing the same thing … just bumbling from one week to the next.
Nothing changes. There is no excitement. And one day the door is shut and bolted.
The building is sold and it becomes a child care centre.
That’s not living. Disciples need a challenge.
And Jesus extends that challenge.
I challenge you to carry your own cross (verse 27).
Those who heard Jesus use this phrase knew exactly what He meant. The cross was a cruel form of punishment used by the Romans. When it came time the criminal was forced to "carry his cross" to the place of execution.
Everyone knew that this person was saying "goodbye" to everything.
There would be no turning or coming back.
The cross is a very dramatic illustration of showing what it means to follow Jesus. We are basically being asked to say "goodbye" to our own will and desires and not turn back.
That is a challenge isn’t it.
I challenge you to be a successful tower builder (verses 28-30).
This challenges comes through the person who has set out to build a tower. It is going to be a master piece and all the people are going to walk past and say, “Wow, what a great tower! Its builder must be a great man”.
The problem is that the builder didn’t count the cost involved and the superstructure is not completed. Now people walk past a half finished abandoned building. The builder has become a laughing stock because it is clear he was never really committed to the project in the first place. He only had thoughts of grandeur and blessing – he forgot to give real thought to the cost.
Jesus is saying, “We don’t need to be like that”.
I challenge you to be wise in all circumstances (verses 28-33).
This challenge comes through the king in a battle field. It is possible for an army of 10,000 to beat an army of 20,000 – so the size is not the issue.
The issue at stake here is an issue of wisdom. It is going to take a huge amount of commitment for the smaller army to defeat the larger army. Does the king of the small army have that commitment from his men? If not it is time to organise a peace treaty.
Sometimes the cost will involve a readiness to surrender our plans and follow the plans of someone greater than ourselves.
Jesus is saying, “You can be wise in all circumstances”.
I challenge you. That is not mediocrity. That is not lite church.
That is being salty-salt.
The is the second time now that the Hard Sayings of Jesus have involved salt.
Salt that is not salty is useless.
It appears to be salt - but it does nothing. So even the appearance is useless.
Discipleship that is only discipleship in appearance is less than useless.
And ultimately it is discipleship that hesitates.
You see that is the biggest challenge going on here.
Because the context is very specific.
Large crowds were travelling with Jesus, and He turning to them He said …
Why are all these people hanging around Jesus?
They would all have their different reasons.
It is nice company.
There has been some free food.
The chance to see a miracle.
They love the way He teaches.
It is fun watching Him confront the religious establishment.
They are travelling with Him for all sorts of reasons.
But are they really following Him? Are they really disciples?
So Jesus confronts them.
Can you put me above all else?
Family?
Work?
Status?
Ambition?
Daily Routine?
Are you willing to be the people who build the costly tower … to the end?
Have a you a desire to be wise and discerning … to the end?
Will you be salty-salt.
Impacting society?
Preserving the truth?
Causing people to sit up and take notice?
Saying that which nobody says?
Being willing to stand against evil?
Accepting the ridicule, mocking, insults and suffering?
Giving preference to Me
Hating … in a Hebrew way … hating all else.
Large crowds were travelling with Jesus.
If there was such a verse as Luke 14:36 it is quite possible that it would saying something like:-
“When Jesus finished saying these words the crowd following Jesus was not so large because they could not count the cost”.
HATE.
It is a hard saying of Jesus. But can you still follow?
Lift up your hands. Literally lift them up now and touch the side of your head.
Those who have ears to hear, let them hear.
Prayer
