Introduction:
Title is “Radical Restoration of the Family”, took this idea from F. LaGard Smith’s book called Radical Restoration: Smith takes aim at many features of today's church that bear little resemblance to the picture presented in the New Testament. He begins with our token, ritualized observance of the Lord's Supper and argues for a return to a memorial "love feast." He proceeds with a critique of our substitution of large, expensive church buildings with spectator pews for the intimate, cost-effective "house churches" of the first-century. He continues with a stinging critique of today's distant, corporate-like elderships in place of the loving, hands-on shepherds known in the early church. He also critiques today's "pulpit ministers" and "youth ministries" as departures from first-century patterns of evangelism and parental responsibility. This book gives some food for thought but is too theoretical to be practical and his ideas seem to be too counter cultural to be relevant. Let's talk about something much more practical, the family.
The church alone cannot turn the tide of 60% of young people raised in the church leaving and many never coming back. We are going to need families that are committed to radical restorations in their families. Tonight we turn to raising children. God wants families to pass on a godly legacy from one generation to the next. The home is the best place for a child to learn about God. To a culture devoid of character and high ethical standards, our best hope for renewal lies in the restoration of godly homes. Though we hesitate to bring children into our sinful society, the reality is, our kids have to be the ones to preserve and redeem our culture. We need to recapture the biblical imperative that views parenting as a sacred calling. Children are worth it! As parents, God has selected us and set us apart for a work that angels can only envy. As parents we have a high and holy assignment.
Thesis: Let’s talk about 5 radical priorities for parents tonight
For instances:
#1 Radical selflessness
Many parents are double minded when it comes to children. We talk about the importance of children; we say we would freely sacrifice our lives for them. But theory and practice are two different things. In many choices we make, we demonstrate that our commitment is not quite as strong as we think.
God gave us children to save us from toxic self absorption. This ought to challenge fathers who spend too much time climbing the career ladder or pursuing hobbies, spots, or our own interests- at the expense of our children. This ought to challenge every mother who works outside the home, not out of necessity, but out of a desire for self fulfillment or a higher standard of living.
Christians must stop patting one another on the back, affirming one another in our greed, while we abandon the gritty work of shaping our children’s conscience and character. Is is wrong for a father to climb the career ladder? Is it wrong for a mother to work outside the home? No, but if we lose at home, we have forfeited our legacy of passing on the faith to the next generation.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:3-11, NIV.
#2 Radical Objectives
Think about what our children face today compared to our generation. Dennis Rainey asked his daughter Ashley about her college experience not long after she graduated. Dennis asked if her classmates who grew up in a Christian home were different from others. She said this, “There might be a small difference, but I think with many it’s hardly noticeable.” She added this, “and I’m not talking just about dating... the same holds true in other areas as well- movies, ethics, materialism, and cheating in class.” Why are so many Christian young people indistinguishable from non Christians? Big reason is that parents today are concerned with the education their kids receive and the skills they develop. They look forward to the day when their children will enter the working world and establish a career. But one element often missing is character development. Too many parents are more concerned with IQ than with CQ- character quotient.
Omar Bradley, a famous WW2 general once said, “We have grasped the mystery of the atom and rejected the Sermon on the Mount. The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.” Building character into a child means building patterns of behavior that respond properly to authority and to life’s circumstances. “The goal of this command is love (telling Timothy to confront false teachings and avoid controversies), which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” 1 Timothy 1:5, NIV.
Timothy was submissive to Paul’s authority. Respect for authority is important because no man is an island. We are all required to submit to authority- in one area or another. And as Christians, we are all under the authority of Christ. A child must learn to submit to God in every area of his or her life. Godly character enables a child to respond properly to life’s circumstances. He will display the fruit of the Spirit- love, joy, peace, patience- no matter what he faces. Character is what will help our children keep within their budgets as adults. Character is what will lead him to turn to God in a time of hardship and pain. Character is what will help him pursue his mate and resolve conflicts in a loving manner. Character is what will enable him to make that extra phone call or work that extra hour to do the job right. Character is what will direct him in time of material prosperity or financial crisis. And character is what will give him the strength to keep his mind and body pure when everyone in the world and everything within him says, “Just give in to that temptation. It won’t hurt you.”
#3 Radical Strategies
“My eyes will be on the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me; he whose walk is blameless will minister to me.” Psalms 101:6, NIV. If there is to be family restoration, then we as parents must seek to model holiness in our own lives. This requires that each of us know God’s Word personally and apply it diligently.
Children are like tiny radar units. They lock on. They track. They watch and observe. They imitate. Imagine the mixed signals a teenager gets when he answers the phone at home, and his father tells him to tell his boss that he’s not home. Or when a teenager is disciplined for cheating on a test at school, and then watches his dad blaze down the road with a radar detector to avoid being caught. Or when a man tells her daughter to cultivate her heart and dress modestly, and then the mother spends a large amount of time focusing on her own beauty.
We can’t lie and still represent the truth. We can’t cheat and then discipline a cheater. Don’t think we can hide our compromises from God who passes our sins down to the 4th generation (Exodus 34:7).
Our children need parents who are models. But modeling is more than just doing the right thing. It is also admitting when we are wrong. I try to walk blamelessly in my home, but unfortunately I fail. Need to say we are sorry. A part of modeling is showing our children true humility, and demonstrating how to handle failure when it occurs.
Albert Einstein said, “Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another... it is the only means.”
#4 Radical Involvement
Virgil in 30 BC said this: As the twig is bent, so the tree inclines.
Every parent must grapple with our culture over the “bend” in our child’s character. Peers are pressing and pushing. We are competing for the privilege of shaping our child’s character. Character is cultivated when parents build and maintain healthy relationships with their children. This requires involvement. Early on, through age 10, there is nothing a child desires more than simply being with Mom and Dad. These are the tender years of youthful innocence. When adolescence arrives, things change. During adolescence, parents must redouble their efforts, and seek a greater depth of intimacy with their children. When adult issues begin to surface teens need our guidance to navigate life.
“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6, NIV. True but we need to cultivate a relationship with them through adolescence
Dr. James Dobson tells a person story in his book, Bringing Up Boys. James was 16 years old and giving his mother fits at home. James’ father was a traveling evangelist and often away. One day his mother called his father in tears over James’ disrespectful attitude. Not long after that conversation, James’ father gave up his career as an evangelist to be around the house more. Dr. Dobson’s father was willing to sacrifice his career to be there for his son. Not long after this, his father took a position as an evangelist at a local church but James’ dad helped to mold him into the person we see today. What might have been different if his dad did not make that sacrifice? Thankfully, we will never know.
#5 Radical Expectations
“Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.” Psalms 127:4, NIV.
God designed children to be crafted, aimed, and released for battle- spiritual battle. One of the reasons so many of our Christian youth become spiritual casualties is that they are protected from battle- raised in a bunker and never trained and commissioned to do battle for Christ.
Many parents set their spiritual sights much too low for their children and families. How many are praying that their children will become godly men and women, missionaries, church leaders, community leaders? We are so focused on worldly success that we lose sight of God’s passion- to glorify Christ and to make Him known.
God wants to use our children as weapons in the spiritual battle for the soul of America. Our nation needs the gospel of Jesus Christ Our challenge is to move our families toward the battlefield and labor with them for the fulfillment of the Great Commission.
Encourage children to reach out to their friends with the love of Christ. Train them to walk with God and minister to others. Take them with us on missions trips. The possibilities are endless- when we make God and our children a priority.
Isn’t this dangerous? Oh yes, but many have swallowed the lie that Christian living means material blessing, automatic protection, and bulletproof safety. Two millennia of Christian martyrs beg to differ, and many young adults today are interested in those martyrs lives and curious about their passion for the cause. Many young people are desperate for a new way to understand and experience the worthy risks of following Christ. Life without some sense of urgency- a life that is safe, incubated, overprotected- is not worth living. The next generation is aching for influence, for significance, for lives of meaning and impact.
In addition, we should challenge our children to maintain the same family priorities when they grow up. Raising godly children allows us to link one generation to another. Children are our opportunity to partner with God in the relay for truth.
