Series: There’s an App for That
“Fatherhood”
Matthew 1:18-25
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For many years, Lou Gehrig held the iron-man record of playing in 2,131 consecutive baseball games. Cal Ripken, Jr. broke that record on September 6, 1995. Ripken gave much of the credit for his success and accomplishments to the example of his father, Cal Ripken, Sr. His dad played minor league ball and then coached and managed for the Baltimore Orioles.
During the 1996 season, Ripken, Sr. was inducted into the Orioles Hall of Fame. After his acceptance speech, his son stepped to the microphone. Here’s how Ripken, Jr. describes the event in his book The Only Way I Know How:
“It was difficult. I wasn’t certain I could say what I wanted about my father and what he means to me. So I told a little story about my two children, Rachel, six at the time, and Ryan, then three. They’d been bickering for weeks, and I explained how one day I heard Rachel taunt Ryan, ‘You’re just trying to be like Daddy.’ After a few moments of indecision, I asked Rachel, ‘What’s wrong with trying to be like Dad?’ When I finished telling the story, I looked at my father and added, ‘That’s what I’ve always tried to do’”
Today is Father’s Day. We honor our dads and pray that God will bless them beyond measure. Maybe Father’s Day is a tough day for you. Maybe your dad has passed on and you miss him dearly. Maybe your dad wasn’t the kind of man who was a blessing to you and the celebration of Father’s Day annoys you.
Whatever the case, most of us has had some kind of father figure that gave us their time and attention. They mentored and guided us. We celebrate them as well. Of course, we all have the heavenly Father who loves us beyond measure. He’s described in Ps. 68:5 as a “father to the fatherless.”
What are some essential qualities for men in our? How do we determine what principles give men the foundation to be who God created them to be?
On Mother’s Day, we learned some lessons about motherhood from Mary, the mother of Jesus. Today we’re going to look at some lessons on fatherhood from Joseph, Mary’s husband. No, he was not the biological father of Jesus but he certainly lived his life in a way that stands as an excellent model for us as men to follow.
Mt. 1:18-25 – This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. 19 Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
20 But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”). 24 When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. 25 But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.
Joseph Was a Man of Conviction
He was driven by his integrity. This kind of conviction has to do with who you really are and not who you appear to be.
There was a story on the news a few years ago about a lady who appeared to be 8-9 months pregnant. She worked her way down the aisles of a local supermarket. When she left the store and went to her car, she proceeded to give birth to a pound of butter, a chuck roast, pancake syrup, two tubes of toothpaste and four candy bars.
Her convictions were wrong. Joseph was a man who had decided that he would do things the right way. The right way to Joseph was the way God had said things should be. He was first of all a man who wanted to please God and do what would honor God.
As soon as he heard that Mary was pregnant and knowing that he was not the father of the child, Joseph decided to annul his engagement to her. He expected to have a wife who was faithful to him. He expected his wife to be a righteous follower of God. He could not condone an act of unrighteousness and sin.
Joseph’s conviction was tempered by his faith. When the angel appeared in the dream and explained Mary’s situation – that she had become pregnant by the power of the Holy Spirit and was now carrying the Messiah – Joseph submitted to God’s plan to save the world.
Joseph’s conviction tempered by his faith and his faith tempered by obedience. James 2:26 – As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.
We look at what Joseph did. It says in vs. 24: When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.
Men, how many of us would have woken up from that dream and done what was asked of us? We might have considered it, prayed about it, tried to figure all the possible outcomes of our decision, lost sleep over it but I doubt very many of us would have acted in total obedience.
Why do you think that this man Joseph was chosen by God to be the earthly father-figure for His only begotten Son? because Joseph was a man of conviction. Heb. 3:14 – We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end.
Joseph Was a Man of Compassion
In his conviction, Joseph was a man of compassion. Even when he thought Mary had wronged him, been unfaithful to him, he had no desire to disgrace her in public. Joseph sought the best way to get out of what he thought was a bad situation without making Mary more of the subject of the town gossips. He simply sought a quiet divorce.
That’s not the way most of us go about the dissolution of a relationship, is it? We want to tell everybody about how badly we’ve been mistreated. We want everyone to know how badly we were hurt. We’re going to make sure we tell it large and tell it loud to anyone who will listen.
We see some important facets of compassion. The first facet is that compassion extends grace. Grace is a gift. It’s something that is not earned. Out of compassion, we offer grace to those whom we feel has harmed us.
The second facet of compassion is that grace extends mercy. Grace is when you receive something that you do not deserve. Mercy is when you don’t get what you deserve.
Grace and mercy are fundamental elements of our heavenly Father. He extends grace and mercy to us every day. We are saved by grace. We don’t deserve our salvation. We could never earn our salvation. It is the free gift of God when we put our trust in Jesus Christ.
God is also merciful. When we trust in Jesus Christ, we are no longer under the penalty of our sin. Christ has taken that upon himself.
Both grace and mercy are based in love. Joseph demonstrated a biblical kind of love as he dealt with Mary in this situation. With divine help, Joseph lived out the scriptural definition of love found in 1 Cor. 13:4-8a – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
Men, are you known for being compassionate? Do the people that you deal with know that you will be someone who will extend grace? When they mess up, do you know when to discipline and when to offer mercy? Are your actions based in love?
Col. 3:12-14 – Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Joseph Was a Man of Courage
Joseph faced real fears. But courage is all about looking fear in the face and doing what is right. John Wayne said, “Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.”
Think about it. To most of the people in Nazareth, either Mary had disgraced him and he was a weak man for accepting what she did or he was an unrighteous man who had sexual relations with her before the wedding ceremony. Can’t you hear the people in Nazareth as Joseph tries to explain: “Really, the boy is the Son of God. He’s the Messiah, come to save us from our sins.” Courage carries us forward when the way seems hazardous.
King David’s desire was to build a temple for God in Jerusalem. But God’s choice to build the temple was not David. It was David’s son, Solomon.
David, while disappointed, was excited to have his son complete the dream for a permanent place of worship for the God of Israel. David did everything he could to arrange for all the materials and the craftsmen to complete the job.
David spoke these words to his son concerning the building of the temple in 1 Chron. 22:13 – “For you will be successful if you carefully obey the decrees and regulations that the Lord gave to Israel through Moses. Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid or lose heart!”
Joseph was confident in his conviction to serve God. He practiced compassion. Because he was a man of conviction and compassion, he could be a man of courage.
What did Joseph do? He simply lived his life. He did what God asked of him. He was not afraid to face those who would not believe. He just did what a father does: provide for his family and lead his children in the ways of the Lord.
Too often in our society, we look at the wrong men as examples of masculinity. We look to Hollywood, we look to the business world, or we look to athletes who aren’t good examples of what a man should be. Instead we should look at men like Joseph who just lived a quiet life of integrity.
When you read through the Gospels, very little is said about Joseph. We know that he was a man who worked in the building trades. We hear him mentioned at Jesus’ birth, during Jesus’ years as a young child, and briefly when Jesus was 12 years old. After that, there is nothing else said in Scripture concerning Joseph. Not one word that Joseph ever said is recorded in the New Testament. But his life spoke volumes. Winston Churchill said, “Success is never final; failure is never fatal; it is courage that counts.”
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In his book Passed Through Fire, Rick Bundschuh tells the story of Hawaiian surfer Eddie Aikau. Listen to Bundschuh’s words:
If you ever visit Hawaii, you may notice a plethora of bumper stickers, most affixed to
rusting, surfboard-laden cars, proclaiming, “Eddie would go!” This curious saying is a
tribute to the courage of Hawaiian waterman Eddie Aikau.
Aikau was a lifeguard and big-wave surfer on Oahu’s treacherous North Shore. Strong
and confident in the water, Eddie wouldn’t pull back on any wave…regardless of how big or
how dangerous.
During the spring of 1978, Eddie was a crewman on the Hokule’a, a replica of an ancient
Hawaiian sailing vessel that was making its way toward Tahiti. Somewhere in the Hawaiian
channel, in stormy seas and gale-force winds, the boat overturned, casting all onboard into
the water.
After a night of the crew members futilely trying to attract passing boats and planes with
flares, Eddie Aikau volunteered to paddle his surfboard, which he kept on the Hokule’a, to
get help. He had assessed the situation and realized that options were running out. Soon
the prevailing currents would take them far out to sea and beyond the reasonable hope of
rescue.
There was no restraining Eddie. He was determined to go, and if anyone could make the
arduous paddle, it was this outstanding waterman.
He set off with a strobe light and a ring of oranges around his neck for what he estimated
would be a twelve-mile paddle to the tiny island of Lana’i. He was never seen again.
A passing boat later rescued the crew of the Hokule’a. Eddie’s willingness to risk—even
to sacrifice his life—has made him a legend to other watermen around the world. Men push
other men to go farther, to risk more, with three simple words: “Eddie would go!”
Joseph was that kind of man. But he was that kind of man because he served that kind of God. The kind of God who would leave the glory of heaven, come to earth as a tiny baby, grow into a perfect man without sin, and then die on a cross so that we could find forgiveness and eternal life.
