Series: There’s an App for That
“Anger”
Matthew 5:21-26, 39, 43-48
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In Lille, France, a woman became fed up with neighbors parking outside of her home blocking her gate. For weeks, she asked and pleaded with them to not do it. She woke up before dawn one morning to see a brand-new, gleaming, burgundy-colored vehicle parked in front of her gate. She decided that enough was enough.
With great glee, she scratched the paint with a wire brush. That wasn’t enough. She then poured several gallons of glossy paint over the car. Next, she slashed the tires. Deeply satisfied, she returned to bed.
Later that morning, her husband came in to wake her up. He wanted to show her the present he had bought her for their 10th anniversary: A brand new burgundy-colored car.
Anger is a huge problem in our society. One Christian psychologist commented that “anger management is a shockingly underdeveloped skill in our society.”
A little boy was trying to sell a worn-out lawnmower. A preacher walked up and the boy tried to persuade him to buy the mower. The preacher pulled on the rope several times to make sure the mower would start. Nothing happened – not even a spit or a sputter.
The boy told the preacher that he would have to kick the mower while saying a few cuss words before the motor would start/ The preacher said, “Son, I can’t do that. It’s been a lot of years since I said a cuss word.”
The little boy replied, “Just keep pulling that rope and it’ll come back to you.”
Most of us battle on a daily basis the temptation to lose our cool. It could be something so little as not being able to get the mower started. It could be frustration with a co-worker or boss. It could even be deep-seated anger at a parent or a spouse.
God knows our tendency to struggle in the area of anger. His Word gives us some instruction in this matter. Let’s pay close attention so that we might honor God in all things – even in our anger.
Anger is a Heart Problem
We’re going to do something a little different this morning. Take out your Bibles and turn to Matthew 5. We’re going to refer back to this passage several times this morning.
Matt. 5:21-22 – “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.”
Jesus gives the root cause of murder: it’s anger. It has to do with the attitude of my heart. The problem with murder is not just the physical act itself. It all starts with anger in my heart.
Jesus says, “I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.” Jesus doesn’t just denounce the act of murder. He also denounces the attitude of anger in the heart.
Does Jesus forbid every kind of anger in this passage? No. Anger, in and of itself is not sinful. The Septuagint translation of Ps. 4:4 reads, “In your anger do not sin.” There is a righteous anger and an unrighteous anger. We can be angry and not sin. But if we cross the line, we can be angry and sin.
Righteous anger is upset over sin and injustice. It’s okay to be angry when you see the evil work of terrorists and people suffer from their malevolence. It’s okay to be angry when you hear about a child being abused or a woman being raped.
God gets angry. In the Old Testament, it mentions God’s wrath or anger 375 times. 82% of the time the Hebrew word for anger occurs in the Old Testament, it’s used in conjunction with God.
Jesus demonstrated righteous anger. In Mark 3, Jesus attended a synagogue service on the Sabbath. Also in attendance was a man with a paralyzed hand. The Jewish leaders were watching closely to see what Jesus would do. They were ready to express anger and indignation if Jesus did so.
Mk. 3:3-6 – Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Stand up in front of everyone.”
4 Then Jesus asked them, “Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?” But they remained silent. 5 He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. 6 Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus.
Even though Jesus prohibits a certain kind of anger in Matt. 5, he is not referring to righteous anger. Sin and injustice make God angry and his people should also be alarmed and angry with those things as well.
David Seamands writes, “Anger is a divinely implanted emotion. Closely allied to our instinct for right, it is to be used for constructive spiritual purposes. The person who cannot feel angry at evil is a person who lacks enthusiasm for good. If you cannot hate wrong, it’s very questionable whether you really love righteousness.”
So what is Jesus talking about? Jesus forbids vindictive anger. Vindictive anger lives in the heart and is unforgiving. It holds grudges. The Greek word Jesus uses concerning anger has the extended meaning of “hate that is nursed inside of a person.”
It’s explosive. Vindictive anger is bitter, spiteful, quick, jealous and rude. It is quick tempered. It is out of control.
It wishes to harm. Vindictive anger is a vengeful, hateful, selfish anger that can lead to harsh words and even violent physical actions. It desires that great harm or even death be reigned down upon the object of their anger,
In Genesis 4, we see an example of vindictive anger. Cain murders his brother Abel. Abel had made a sacrifice that was pleasing to God. Cain gave a sacrifice that God rejected simply because Cain didn’t give of his very best. Cain became extremely angry with Abel.
Gen. 4:6-8 – Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” 8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. Anger is a heart problem.
Anger is a Hurt Problem
There are consequences for uncontrolled, vindictive anger. There is a very important spiritual principle in Gal. 6:7 – Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.
This general spiritual principle also means that you reap more than you sow. Jesus talked about sowing seed into good soil that produced 30, 60, even a hundred times what was sown.
But bad seed can multiply as well. In Hos. 8:7, Hosea talks about sowing the wind but reaping the whirlwind. You think that what you do will produce things that will simply blow over but in reality you create a storm that is destructive.
There are three very obvious reasons that Jesus forbids vindictive anger. The first reason is because it hurts people.
In 2001, hockey dad, Thomas Junta of Reading, MA, beat Michael Costin to death. Costin was a volunteer referee for a pick-up hockey game and Junta was upset at his officiating. Junta threw Costin to the ice, sat on him, beat him in the face, and banged his head on the ice multiple times. The autopsy report showed that the victim’s brain was shaken so badly that blood vessels ruptured causing extensive bleeding in the brain and spinal column.
In 2002, Junta was sentenced to 6-10 years in jail. It also came to light that he was physically abusive to his wife. When it came time for his parole hearing after six years, the parole board denied him early release because they said that he had not demonstrated remorse for his actions. Two years later, he was released.
Someone once said that anger is just one letter short of danger. Anger out of control hurts people. It isn’t just physical hurt but also emotional hurt. Vindictive anger damages people in multiple ways. It can destroy your relationship with your spouse, your children, and your friends.
The second reason Jesus forbids vindictive anger is because it hurts me. Will Rogers said, “People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.”
On April 28, 1993, a Serbian basketball player named Slobodon Jankovic was playing in a Greek professional league playoff game. It was the semi-finals and toward the end of a closely contested game.
Jankovic drove toward the basket and scored. The referee called him for a charging foul wiping away his basket and also giving him his fifth foul which meant he was out of the game. Out of anger at the referee, Jankovic walked under the basket and slammed his head against the thinly padded goal post. He slammed his head so hard that he slumped to floor unable to get up.
Jankovic permanently damaged his spinal cord and was unable to walk for the rest of his life.
After using a wheelchair for the final 13 years of his life, Janković gained a large amount of weight, which exerted too much stress on his heart. He eventually died of heart failure at the age of 42, on June 28, 2006 while on a holiday cruise on the Greek island of Rhodes.
Prov. 29:11 – Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Benjamin Franklin said, “Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.”
Vindictive hurts others, it hurts me, and the third reason that Jesus forbids it is because it hurts my relationship with God. Jesus says that anyone who is angry with their brother will be subject to judgment. To be subject to judgment means to be at odds with God. You cannot be right with God if your heart is not right towards others. 1 Jn. 4:20 – Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
I read about a seminary professor that placed a huge dartboard in his classroom. He asked his students to draw a picture of someone who made them angry. One young lady drew a picture of her boyfriend who had just broken up with her. Other students drew pictures of various people who had hurt them.
The professor called these students forward and had them pin their pictures to the dart board. He handed them some darts and tells them to throw the darts as hard as they could. As they did so, the pictures were ripped to pieces. As they surveyed their work, each student smiled as they expressed their anger against the persons represented by the pictures. The students returned to their seats.
With everyone watching the professor, he slowly turned the dart board around. On the back of the board was a large picture of Jesus. Each dart that shredded the pictures on the front of the board also did damage to the picture of Jesus on the back. The professor then read the words of Jesus in Matt. 25:40 – “Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these my brothers, you have done it unto me.”
But now here is the good news. (With Jesus there is always good news)
Anger can be a Healed Problem
Gary Collins, in his book Guide to Christian Counseling, describes three inappropriate ways to deal with anger. The first is holding back.
Holding back means that you stuff your anger inside of yourself. It can be healthy for awhile. It gives you time to assess your situations and can prevent angry outbursts and the fallout that comes after the outburst.
But in the long run, it’s the least ineffective way to deal with anger. When anger is ignored, it begins to affect us in other ways – headaches, ulcers, and so on.
A second inappropriate way to deal with anger is turning inward. When anger is kept within and not expressed appropriately, there be be an outer appearance of calm on the outside but a boiling rage happening on the inside. Internal anger is a powerful force that may express itself in physical symptoms such as intense headaches, chest pains, and ulcers. It can also produce psychological problems – self-pity, thoughts of revenge, or even suicide.
The third inappropriate way to deal with anger is acting out. Aggression, violence, slander, gossip, and abusing alcohol or drugs are all ways this inappropriate means to deal with anger manifests itself in your life.
So how does Jesus say that we’re to deal with our anger? How can we keep it from getting the best of us? First, you don’t hold on to it. Jesus says to settle matters quickly.
Matt. 5:23-26 – “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. 25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.
Don’t let your anger boil up inside like a volcano that explodes and reigns down destruction. Handle things quickly but handle them appropriately. Jesus doesn’t advocate that we respond out of spite and with hateful words. He is saying that we shouldn’t let our anger go unaddressed. Admit your anger and then do the necessary things to fix the situation.
A lot of time, we don’t want to let go of our anger. Instead we want to revel in it, wallow in it, because we think that we deserve to be angry. But be very careful. Anger that foments on the inside can lead us into sin.
A man and his wife had a big spat. That evening they were giving each other the silent treatment. The wife was an early riser and that night he man realized that he needed her help to wake up at 5:00 a.m. for an early flight out for a business trip. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote a note that said, “Please wake me at 5:00 a.m.” and placed it on her nightstand.
The next morning he woke up to discover that it was 7:05 and he had missed his flight. Furious, he swung his legs out of bed to go see why his wife hadn’t awakened him at the right time. Just as his feet hit the floor, he saw a note on his nightstand. It read, “It’s 5:00 a.m. Time to get up.”
Eph. 4:26-27 – “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. There is a way to be angry and not sin. But if we hold on to our anger, we’re giving the devil a place to claim control over this area of our lives.
The second thing that Jesus says we should do is to watch our emotions. Matt. 5:38-39 – You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.
Jesus’ instruction here isn’t about self-defense from a physical attack. He is talking about insults. The majority of people are right-handed. Just a little less than 10% of the world’s population is left-handed. To slap someone on the right cheek with your right hand requires you to do it with a back-hand motion. It’s meant to be demeaning.
When someone does something like that to you, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? What do you want to instinctively do? You feel like striking back. You’d feel the same way if a close friend or a family member was treated in an insolent way.
Back in the late 1990’s, I preached a church just outside of Frankfort, KY. One day, I got a phone call from my mom. Her first words were, “I don’t want you to be upset but something’s happened with your dad.” That’ll keep you calm!
I asked her, “What happened?” My dad had gone to a local restaurant to collect on a bill that was owed to him for work he had done on some of their equipment. The owner was way overdue on paying the bill. When dad walked through the front door, he went to the counter and asked to see the owner. When that man heard that dad was there, he came flying out of the back and attacked my dad! My dad was just a little over 70 years old at the time and the man who attacked him was somewhere in his 30’s. Dad had gone to emergency room but other than some scrapes and bruises, he was okay.
My mom’s first words to me after she told me what happened were, “Don’t come down here.” Why? She knew that my first reaction would be to take that man outside and teach him some respect for his elders. I promised that I wouldn’t.
But let me tell you that man’s actions burned in me for quite awhile. It was about an hour and a half drive down the Bluegrass Parkway to hometown. Multiple times over the first week after it happened, I got in my vehicle and headed to my hometown boiling mad. I always turned around and came back because the Holy Spirit kept hitting me with Rom. 12:19 – Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
The man suffered consequences from his actions in this life. He was arrested and convicted. He lost his business and now has a record as a violent offender of the law. But I also know that if this man has not or will never repent of his anger, God has set up eternal consequences for him as well.
Why must we watch our emotions? Because they can’t be trusted in all circumstances and occasions. Don’t let your emotions control you.
As Christians, we’re supposed to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. Rom. 8:5-6 – Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. Martin Luther wrote, “Feelings come and feelings go, and feelings are deceiving. My guide is the Holy Spirit of God, none else is worth believing.
The last thing that Jesus says to us this morning about dealing appropriately with our anger is to pray about it. Matt. 5:43-45a – “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”
If you’re angry with someone, give it up to God. Talk to him about it instead of retaliating or holding a grudge.
When we get angry, how many of us stop to pray about it? We are in the heat of the moment and we’re so focused on our anger and the person who made us angry that we don’t think of giving it to God. We don’t think of going to him and saying, “God, I’m angry but help me to address this anger properly. Help me to do what is pleasing in your sight.”
Brfore you retaliate, or get bent out of shape, or say something that you’ll later regret, pray about it. Let the peace of God come into your life through prayer. Then you’ll be able to put things in perspective.
Close
Do you know who was able to handle anger effectively? Jesus. He had a lot of people who lashed out at him but never once did he retaliate. Never once did he lose control. The Bible says that when people hurled insults at him, he did not hate them or grt back at them. Instead, he combatted their anger with love. Lord, help us to be like Jesus.
Rom. 5:6-11 – You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10 For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11 Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
