For the past several hundred years western society has been bombarded with the humanistic, egalitarian, sexless, classless philosophy that was the dominant force behind the French Revolution. The blurring and even total removal of all human distinctions continues to be masterminded by Satan so as to undermine legitimate, God–ordained authority in every realm of human activity—in government, the family, the school, and even in the church. We find ourselves victimized by the godless, atheistic concepts of humanity’s supreme independence from every external law and authority. The philosophy is self–destructive, because no group of people can live in orderliness and productivity if each person is bent on doing their own will. The idea of subordination to authority in general, as well as in the family, is out of favour in a world which prizes permissiveness and freedom. ... Subordination smacks of exploitation and oppression that are deeply resented. But authority is not synonymous with tyranny, and the submission to which the apostle refers (in Ephesians 5) does not imply inferiority ((O’Brien, P. T. (1999). The letter to the Ephesians (p. 414). Grand Rapids, MI: W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.).)
Few areas of modern living have been so distorted and corrupted by the devil and the world and caused the church so much confusion as those of marriage and the family. It is these issues that Paul confronts in Ephesians 5:22—6:9. He expands and clarifies the general principle of mutual submission (“be subject to one another in the fear of Christ,” v 21) by giving several illustrations from the family, beginning with the relationship of husbands and wives. Scripture makes clear that there are no spiritual or moral distinctions among Christians. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28). There are no classifications of Christians. Every believer in Jesus Christ has exactly the same salvation, the same standing before God, the same divine nature and resources, as well as the same divine promises and inheritance (cf Acts 10:34; Rom. 2:11; James 1:1–9).
Because so much of the church has long disregarded the full teaching of Scripture, many believers find some of its truths to be unfamiliar and even hard to accept. And because the church has been so engulfed in, identified with, and victimized by worldly standards, God’s standards seem out–of–date, irrelevant, and offensive to modern mentalities. His way is so high and so contrary to the way of the world that it is incomprehensible to many in and out of the church.
In Ephesians 5:22–24 Paul begins this list by outlining the role, duties, and priorities of the wife in relation to her husband’s authority First he deals with 1) The basic matter of the submission (Ephesians 5:22a), then with its 2) Manner & Motive (Ephesians 5:22b-23a), as well as the 3) Model (Ephesians 5:23b-24).
1) The Matter of Submission (Ephesians 5:22a)
Ephesians 5:22a [22]Wives, submit to your own husbands, (as to the Lord). (ESV)
In matters of role and function God has made distinctions. Although there are no differences in intrinsic worth or basic spiritual privilege and rights among His people, the Lord has given rulers in government certain authority over the people they rule, to church leaders He has delegated authority over their congregations, to husbands He has given authority over their wives, to parents He has given authority over their children, and to employers He has given authority over employees.
Wives is not qualified, and therefore applies to every Christian wife, regardless of her social standing, education, intelligence, spiritual maturity or giftedness, age, experience, or any other consideration. Nor is it qualified by her husband’s intelligence, character, attitude, spiritual condition, or any other consideration. Paul says categorically to all believing wives: submit/be subject to your own husbands.
As indicated by italics in most translations, submit/be subject is not in the original text, but the meaning is carried over from verse 21. The clearest and most challenging expression of the biblical meaning of submission is Mark 8:34–35 (RSV): “And he called to him the multitude with his disciples, and said to them, ‘If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.’” “Submit” translates a military term (hupotassôg, Gk.), which means “to place under” or “to subordinate” (cf. 1 Pet. 3:1, note). This is not because of essential feminine inferiority but because God has placed the husband first in order of creation as head of the home, just as Christ is the Head of the church (Criswell, W. A., Patterson, P., Clendenen, E. R., Akin, D. L., Chamberlin, M., Patterson, D. K., & Pogue, J. (Eds.). (1991). Believer’s Study Bible (electronic ed., Eph 5:22). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.).
• We cower back from such a hard word. Self-fulfillment and self-actualization touch our ears gently. Self-denial cuts to the quick of our feeling and challenges us at the core of our being. No one need remind us that we are self-seeking, self-serving, self-indulging people...Jesus knew, and Paul was echoing the truth, that self-fulfillment involves self-denial. But self-denial does not mean self-hatred or self-mortification nor the rejection of our individuality. Self-denial is a way by which we realize that our happiness and fulfillment are not dependent upon having our own way or getting what we want. Self-denial is the willingness to consider the needs of others above our own self-interest. It is a commitment to live in relationships where the worth of all persons is valued and where “getting my own way” gives way to considering the concerns, needs, and interests of others (Dunnam, M. D., & Ogilvie, L. J. (1982). Galatians / Ephesians / Philippians / Colossians / Philemon (Vol. 31, pp. 228–229). Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Inc.).
Applied to marriage, the idea is: “Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ [and, as a first example,] wives, … to your own husbands.” Submit/be subject hupotassô means to relinquish one’s rights, and the Greek middle voice (used in v 21 and carried over by implication into v 22) emphasizes the willing submitting of oneself God’s command is to those who are to submit. That is, the submission is to be a voluntary response to God’s will in giving up one’s independent rights to other believers in general and to ordained authority in particular—in this case to wife’s own husbands. The verbal participle is in the middle voice. It is a strong word for submission, as for troops under a commander. The middle voice implies a willing obedience—literally, ‘submitting yourselves’ (Uprichard, H. (2004). A Study Commentary on Ephesians (p. 305). Darlington, England; Auburn, MA: Evangelical Press.).
The wife is not commanded to obey (hupakouô) her husband, as children are to obey their parents and slaves their masters (6:1, 5). A husband is not to treat his wife as a servant or as a child, but as an equal for whom God has given him care and responsibility for provision and protection, to be exercised in love. She is not his to order about, responding to his every wish and command. As Paul proceeds to explain in considerable detail (vv 25–33), the husband’s primary responsibility as head of the household is to love, provide, protect, and serve his wife and family—not to lord it over them according to his personal whims and desires.
Your own husbands suggests the intimacy and mutuality of the wife’s submission. She willingly makes herself subject to the one she possesses as her own husband (cf 1 Cor. 7:3–4). Husbands and wives are to have a mutual possessiveness as well as a mutual submissiveness. They belong to each other in an absolute equality. The husband no more possesses his wife than she possesses him. He has no superiority and she no inferiority.
Please turn to 1 Peter 3 (p.1015)
Peter taught exactly the same truth as Paul in regard to the relationship of husbands and wives. The idea is not that of subservience or servility, but of willingly functioning under the husband’s leadership. Peter also emphasized the mutual possessiveness of husbands and wives, using the same words as Paul–“your own husbands.”
1 Peter 3:1-7 [3:1]Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, [2]when they see your respectful and pure conduct. [3]Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- [4]but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. [5]For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, [6]as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. [7]Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (ESV)
• (v.1) God does not just desire a wife to submit only to a Christian husband but to her husband in whatever state he is in. Instead of nagging, criticizing, and lecturing her husband,(v.1-4) a wife should simply set a godly example before him—showing him the power and beauty of the gospel through its effect in her own life. Humility, love, moral purity, kindness, and respect are the most powerful means a woman has for winning her husband to the Lord. This concept is not a new one (v.5) but one of continuing precedence throughout scripture. Women are not to fear this submission (v.6) but faithfully follow God's directive and let him worry about the consequences.
• He warns husbands not to abuse the godly submission of his wife (v.7), then even his prayers will be hindered.
Illustration: A situation from the sports world can perhaps bring us a step closer to grasping the meaning of “submit.” Take the case of a pitcher and catcher on a baseball team. Both are on the same side and have the same objective; both want to make their contribution to winning the game. But the things they do are quite different! Usually it’s the catcher who decides what pitch should be thrown. The pitcher submits to that decision. That doesn’t mean he can’t ever shake off a pitch or that there might not be an occasional conference at the mound, but in general, the catcher calls the pitches. Does that mean the catcher is better than the pitcher? Is the pitcher inferior because he submits to the catcher’s selection of pitches? Not at all! That’s simply the way things work best. They both recognize that each can’t be doing his own thing if they want to win the ball game. Somebody has to decide whether a fastball or a change-up is more likely to strike Casey out. It’s a matter of assigned roles, a designated order of things. That’s the essence of team play.
Marriage is certainly a team project. The God of order who instituted it has designated the manner in which it will be most harmonious and function with the greatest blessing. In his wisdom he has delegated headship, or the leadership role, to the husband. Submission on the wife’s part is simply acknowledging that God-given role relationship (Panning, A. J. (1997). Galatians, Ephesians (p. 203). Milwaukee, WI: Northwestern Pub. House.).
2) The Manner of Submission (Ephesians 5:22b)
Ephesians 5:22b [22](Wives, submit to your own husbands), as to the Lord. (ESV)
The manner or attitude of submission is to be as to the Lord. Everything we do in obedience to the Lord should also be done first of all for His glory and to please Him. Those to whom we submit, whether in mutual submission or in response to their functional authority, will often not inspire respect. Sometimes they will be thoughtless, inconsiderate, abusive, and ungrateful. But the Spirit–filled believer—in this instance, the wife—submits anyway, because that is the Lord’s will and her submission is to Him. Family members who are right with the Lord will be right with each other (Wiersbe, W. W. (1992). Wiersbe’s expository outlines on the New Testament (p. 552). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.).
A wife who properly submits to her husband also submits to the Lord. And a wife who does not submit to her husband also does not submit to the Lord. Christian wives are submissive to their husbands as one aspect of their obedience to Christ. This implies that the wives’ ultimate reward comes from the Lord, whether they are adequately appreciated by their husbands or not (Boles, K. L. (1993). Galatians & Ephesians (Eph 5:22). Joplin, MO: College Press.).
Illustration: 356 God, Authority of
The queen of England is a prestigious figure. She looms larger than life. She even has her own palace. There’s only one problem. She has no power. She looks good. She looks like one of the most powerful women in the world, but she can’t vote and she can’t veto. Her position in her country is one of courtesy. What England does to the queen, we do to the King. (King Jesus). We give Him verbal recognition. We encase Him in beautiful palaces called churches. We’ve got people coming to pay homage to Him, but when it comes to decision making, veto power, and voting, we don’t need Him. We acknowledge His position without giving Him the credit for power that accompanies it. (Evans, T. (2009). Tony Evans’ book of illustrations: stories, quotes, and anecdotes from more than 30 years of preaching and public speaking (pp. 119–120). Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers.)
If we are going to declare Jesus as King of our lives: over our politics, business, entertainment, families, marriages and personal lives, then all those things must be done as unto the Lord; not just giving Jesus verbal assent, but reigning monarch.
3) The Motive of Submission (Ephesians 5:23a)
Ephesians 5:23a For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, (his body, and is himself its Savior). (ESV)
No institution on earth is more sacred than that of the family. None is more basic. As is the moral and religious atmosphere in the family, so will it be in the church, the nation, and society in general. Now in his kindness toward womanhood, the Lord, fully realizing that within the family much of the care of children will rest on the wife, has been pleased not to overburden her. Hence, he placed ultimate responsibility with respect to the household upon the shoulders of her husband, in keeping with the latter’s creational endowment... for the husband is head of the wife. A home without a head is an invitation to chaos. It spells derangement and disaster worse even than that which results when a nation is without a ruler or an army without a commander (Hendriksen, W., & Kistemaker, S. J. (1953–2001). Exposition of Ephesians (Vol. 7, p. 248). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.).
Those husbands who will not expend the effort to do anything responsible in their homes may claim they are exercising the prerogatives of headship, but they are in fact abandoning their biblical role. Abdication of responsibility is more common than domination. Even in abusive marriages a typical pattern includes long periods of passivity interspersed by brief episodes of rage. In those brief moments of aggression the man asserts himself only to become passive to family needs and verbal needling much of the rest of the time. Such men’s default mode of relating to their families is self-absorbed, self-contained, and nonresponsive. Yet being a biblical head of a home is not a passive role of doing only what is not bothersome, disquieting, or upsetting. A husband’s abdication of authority is as unbiblical as his abuse of it. (Chapell, B. (2009). Ephesians. (R. D. Phillips, P. G. Ryken, & D. M. Doriani, Eds.) (p. 273). Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing.).
Please turn to Colossians 1 (p.983)
The wife’s supreme motive for submitting to her husband is the fact that he is her functional head in the family, just as Christ is the head of the church (cf 1 Cor. 11:3; Col. 1:18; and see Eph. 1:22–23). ‘Marriage supplies an image of the relationship of the Church to Christ more adequate than the image of the Temple to its Foundation Stone, or even than the image of the Body and its Head. ...There is, of course, an Old Testament background to this in the way that the prophets regarded the Lord as husband of his people, entering into a marriage covenant with them, and loving them with steadfast love, even when, because of their idolatry, they were like an unfaithful wife who had committed adultery (e.g. Isa. 54:1–8; 62:4–5; Jer. 3:6–14; 31:32; Ezek. 16; 23; Hos. 1–3) (Foulkes, F. (1989). Ephesians: an introduction and commentary (Vol. 10, pp. 160–161). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.).
In Col. 1 we see the imagery now put together of God's love through Christ to His people:
Colossians 1:15-23 [15]He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. [16]For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things were created through him and for him. [17]And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. [18]And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. [19]For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, [20]and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. [21]And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds [22]he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, [23]if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister. (ESV)
Christ demonstrated the kind of loving, sacrificial headship the husband is expected to exercise. For Jesus, the responsibility of headship meant that he gave up heavenly glory and comfort for the sake of the church. He became the servant of all, humbling himself even to the point of death on the cross. His headship was clothed in love. Properly understood, this kind of sacrificial love balances the respectful submission of the wife. The wife is willing to yield to her husband’s leadership; the husband is willing to give up everything to care for his wife and family (Boles, K. L. (1993). Galatians & Ephesians (Eph 5:23). Joplin, MO: College Press.)
The head gives direction and the body responds. A physical body that does not respond to the direction of the head is crippled, paralyzed, or spastic. Likewise, a wife who does not properly respond to the direction of her husband manifests a serious spiritual dysfunction. On the other hand, a wife who willingly and lovingly responds to her husband’s leadership as to the Lord is an honor to her Lord, her husband, her family, her church, and herself. She is also a beautiful testimony to the Lord before in view of the world around her.
Illustration: 6115 Lady Huntington’s Attitude
A Gentleman (Lord Bolingbroke) once asked Lady Huntington how she reconciled prayer to God for a particular blessing with absolute resignation to the Divine will. “Very easy,” answered her ladyship, “just as if I were to offer a petition to a monarch, of whose kindness and wisdom I have the highest opinion. In such a case my language would be, “I wish you to bestow on me such a favor; but your majesty knows better than I if it would be agreeable to you or right, to grant my desire. I therefore content myself with humbly presenting my petition, and leave the result of it entirely to you.” (Tan, P. L. (1996). Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations: Signs of the Times (pp. 1368–1369). Garland, TX: Bible Communications, Inc.)”
4) The Model of Submission (Ephesians 5:23b–24)
Ephesians 5:23b-24 [23](For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church) his body, and is himself its Savior. [24]Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (ESV)
The supreme and ultimate model of submission is Jesus Christ Himself, who performed the supreme act of submission by giving His own sinless life to redeem a people for Himself. Christ is the Savior of the body, His church, for whom He died on the cross. He is the perfect Provider, Protector, and Head of His church, which is His body. Jesus Christ is the divine role model for husbands, who should provide for, protect, preserve, love, and lead their wives and families as Christ cares for His church. Christ’s headship over the church is expressed by his loving it and giving his life for it, as vv. 25–27 so clearly show. This will have profound implications for the husband’s behaviour as head of his wife (O’Brien, P. T. (1999). The letter to the Ephesians (p. 414). Grand Rapids, MI: W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.).
Please turn to 1 Corinthians 11 (p.958)
Since a woman’s head covering in first-century Roman society was a sign of marriage, Paul’s practical concern in 1 Corinthians 11 is not with the relationship between women and men generally but with the relationship between husband and wife. There is a specific reference here to the Trinity to understand value and role. Within the Trinity the Father has a role of authority or leadership with respect to the Son, though they are equal in deity and attributes (see notes on John 5:19; 14:28; 1 Cor. 15:28). Paul applies this truth about the Trinity to the relationship of husband and wife. In marriage, as in the Trinity, there is equality in being and value but difference in roles (Crossway Bibles. (2008). The ESV Study Bible (p. 2206). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.)
1 Corinthians 11:2-16 [2]Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. [3]But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. [4]Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, [5]but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. [6]For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. [7]For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. [8]For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. [9]Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. [10]That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. [11]Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; [12]for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. [13]Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? [14]Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, [15]but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. [16]If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God. (ESV)
• Paul’s appeal to the order of creation (cf. also 1 Cor. 11:3, 11–12) shows that his words are not merely directed to the cultural situation of his day. The principle of male headship in marriage continues through all generations, though some cultural expressions of that principle (e.g., that women should wear head coverings) may vary.
• A married woman who uncovered her head in public would have brought shame to her husband. The action may have connoted sexual availability or may simply have been a sign of being unmarried. In cultures where women’s head coverings are not a sign of being married, wives do not need to cover their heads in worship, but they could obey this command by wearing some other physical symbol of being married (such as a wedding ring).
• The “head” (kephalç) here is referring metaphorically to “authority” (see also Eph. 1:22; 5:23; Col. 2:10). As with the authority of Christ over the church, this is not the self-centered exercise of power but leadership that takes care to serve the spiritual, emotional, and physical needs of the wife. ( cf. Mark 10:44–45; Eph. 5:23, 25–30) (Crossway Bibles. (2008). The ESV Study Bible (p. 2206). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.)
As verse 24 concludes, just as the church submits/is subject to Christ, so also wives should submit/ought to be in everything to their husbands. Christ, not husbands, must be the ultimate authority (cf. Matt. 10:34–39). This verse does not chain a believing wife to an abusive husband nor does it condone evil actions or deeds demanded by an authoritarian husband (Utley, R. J. (1997). Paul Bound, the Gospel Unbound: Letters from Prison (Colossians, Ephesians and Philemon, then later, Philippians) (Vol. Volume 8, p. 130). Marshall, TX: Bible Lessons International.).
To follow God’s plan for the family not only is pleasing to Him but is the only way to godlier, happier, and more secure homes. His plan is neither for the exaltation of man and suppression of woman nor the exaltation of woman and suppression of man, but for the perfection and fulfillment of both man and woman as He has ordained them to be. Such perfection and fulfillment is made possible by the filling of the Holy Spirit. Paul develops between marriage and the relationship between Christ and the church, with the woman being asked to submit to the husband in the way the church submits to her head, Christ (i.e. responding to his love, joyfully, and out of heartfelt desire, not grudgingly or under compulsion) (Carson, D. A., France, R. T., Motyer, J. A., & Wenham, G. J. (Eds.). (1994). New Bible commentary: 21st century edition (4th ed., p. 1242). Leicester, England; Downers Grove, IL: Inter-Varsity Press.).
(Format note: Outline & some base commentary from MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1986). Ephesians (pp. 279–291). Chicago: Moody Press.)
