Harmony in the Home
“Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.” Romans 12:16
“How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony!” Psalm 133:1
To begin I want to talk about something that is in perfect harmony. The Holy Trinity “For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one.” 1 John 5:7 Our Lord Jesus Christ was the Word in the flesh during his time on earth so the Word in this verse is Him. The Holy Trinity is God the Father, Son, & Holy Ghost. This is something that is difficult for us to wrap our minds around. Around 405 AD St. Patrick explained it to the people using a shamrock. Legend has it that he held a shamrock up & challenged unbelievers to tell him if it was one leaf or three. The shamrock looks like three separate leaves making up one. The 3 separate parts are all equal in size & work together to make up one leaf perfectly. The same is true about the Holy Trinity. The Father, Son, & Holy Spirit all work together equally to make one divine being.
Being in harmony means everyone has equal responsibility & respect for one another. When one part doesn't operate properly the entire unit is operating at a state that is less than it could potentially work; it’s out of tune. A bicycle chain typically has 115 links in it. If all of the links are working properly the bike will glide smoothly when you are pedaling it. But if even one of those breaks or loosens everything suffers & the ride will not be as smooth as it would be if there was good harmony.
Another example of harmony is found in something else God created; the human body. An adult human has 206 bones, 640 muscles, and 78 organs. All of these body parts have to work in harmony for the human body to function properly. When one of these parts is missing or damaged other parts have to compensate for the problem.
When we get to heaven we will hear a melody of musical praises of the Lord. Pastor Don Piper wrote a book titled 90 Minutes in Heaven. On January 18, 1989 Rev. Piper died in a car wreck in Texas. In his book he mentioned the beautiful sights he saw in God’s kingdom. Everything was more beautiful than anything he’d seen on earth. He saw colors that don’t even exist here. But the thing that was the most beautiful thing & the thing he remembers the most were the sounds he heard. He heard nonstop praises to the Lord in music. He wrote, “…the most remarkable thing to me was that hundreds of songs were being sung at the same time – all of them worshiping God.” If we played hundreds of different songs at the same time it would be a catastrophe. But in heaven thousands of songs are all in harmony praising our heavenly Father!
God created the state of marriage. When a man & woman are married they become 1. “AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.” Mark 10:18 In successful marriages the husband & wife work together for the good of the family. They make rules on how to raise their children, what they will spend their money on, what they do for entertainment, & many other things. When they are out of harmony they argue. This is not how God designed marriage.
Another place that acting together is essential is in the military. The force that knows the best operation & works together to achieve victory will win. In July 1941, Gen. George S. Patton Jr. addressed the soldiers of his 2nd Armored Division and advised them that “to get harmony in battle, each weapon must support the other. Team play wins.”
I saved the best for last. Another place that harmony should be exercised is in the nursing home. When we are of the age that the nursing or assisted living home is the place for us to be we are pretty well set in our ways. We want things done our way, no exceptions! This will cause arguments between those staying in the home. It also causes trouble for the staff of the nursing home because it is their job to see that you are all well taken care of.
So far we've talked about the importance of living in harmony & given examples of where it is needed. Now we’ll talk about how to restore harmony!
THE CAUSES & REASONS FOR CONFLICT
The common cause of conflict & living out of harmony is selfishness. I want what I want & to heck with you!
RESOLUTION OF CONFLICT
The objective here is to work out mutual goals together; solving the problem and caring about the relationship and the person. The relationship is important.
Let’s look at six steps on how to resolve conflict in the family.
1. BECOME A CHRISTIAN.
Become a believer. That’s the starting point. Commit your life to
Christ. You can’t have peace with other people until you have peace
with God. That Bible says that if I've not committed my life to Christ,
I’m at war with God. I’m in conflict with Him. I’m doing my own thing,
I’m doing what I want to do and when I’m having conflict with God
everything will be out of order.
2. TALK TO GOD ABOUT THE CONFLICT.
A. Before you talk to the person you’re upset with talk to God about the
conflict. Pray about it. Admit it to Him. You may end up solving it right
there.
3. ANALYZE THE PROBLEM.
Ask yourself, ‘How much of this is my fault?” Before you start accusing and blaming and attacking, Jesus says check your own self out. Am I the problem? Am I the cause of it? Is there a blind spot in my life?
In Matthew 7:3, Jesus says, “Why then do you look at the speck of sawdust in someone else’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? …Take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from the other person’s eye.”
4. ASK FOR ADVICE.
One meeting is rarely a solution; you might need to schedule a series of peace talks. Even if you’re just making incremental progress in your home it’s good. But if you’re not making any progress at all and you’re not making it fast enough and your home life is deteriorating, get some help. Get a third party involved and ask for some advice. Many times when you bring someone with no ties to the situation in & ask them to help they will see the situation from a perspective that neither you nor the other person did. Once they propose the solution it is painfully obvious & you feel foolish for not seeing it yourselves.
5. DON’T GIVE UP.
Don’t walk out in the middle of a fight. Finish your arguments. Stick with it. Resolve them. Conflict resolution is never easy. There are three stages in a conflict:
Stage One is Recognition. “We have a problem.”
Stage Two is Reaction. “It’s worse than I thought.” This is a painful stage and can be full of emotions (anger, bitterness, frustration).
Stage Three is Resolution. “What are we going to do about it?” Many people say, “I’m walking out!” and the issue is not resolved.
It is more rewarding to resolve a conflict than to dissolve a relationship. You’ll do one or the other: Resolve or dissolve. Resolving a conflict is painful but the rewards are far greater than letting the relationship die.
6. PRAY!
Father, I know that there are hurting families here today. I pray Your peace and
healing power might be on them as they open their lives to You. Save homes
this morning. Restore harmony where there needs to be harmony. Lord, thank
You for Your Word that it applies to our lives. Build strong homes, that we might
have a strong church and a strong nation for Jesus’ sake. Amen.
