SETTLE THE MATTER
Matt. 5:21-26
INTRODUCTION: As we continue our series on the places where Jesus said, “I tell you the truth”, we find ourselves at the place where Jesus stresses the importance of dealing with our anger and mending relationships. We’ve all had times where we were angry at someone. Perhaps we’ve been enraged, maybe even violent. When we don’t properly deal with our anger it results in bitterness, resentment and hatred. It eats away at us and it can cause us to inflict harm on others. That’s not the attitude or behavior that is becoming of a follower of Christ. Let’s see what Jesus has to say about the subject.
1) Settle the matter in your heart (21-22). Vs. 22-some manuscripts: “angry with his brother without cause”. Eph. 4:26-27, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” He didn’t say, “Don’t get angry.” He said, “do not sin.’ Do not get angry for the wrong reasons or wrong causes. And don’t let it linger for if you do then you allow the devil to grab a hold of your heart and mind.
There were two Greek words used for anger. One was for the anger that comes and goes quickly. Then the other, used here in Matthew 5:22, was for the anger that festered and grew. That’s not to say there’s no problem with anger that flares up and dies quickly but the most damaging and consequential form of anger is the one that is the slow burn, where we keep throwing logs on the fire until we reach a boiling point and explode.
“Raca” Raca is an expression of contempt that means “empty head”. “You fool”. The word fool refers to a person who is godless. Psalm 14:1, “The fool in his heart says there is no God.” This Hebrew word for fool can mean one who is morally deficient. In Jesus’ day, to call someone a fool was a serious accusation. No one would consider saying such a thing unless anger had reached the point of hatred. In today’s world, it would be like telling someone to “go to hell” and truly meaning it!
It’s not that calling someone a fool punches our ticket to hell but Jesus is calling attention to the direction that someone who has that level of hatred is going. One may have thought that murdering someone in thought or with words was no big deal; only the actual act was something to be taken seriously. One may have elevated themselves above others by being able to say, “Well, at least I’ve never killed anyone.” But we see we have no reason to boast. While none of us here may actually be guilty of killing a person I’m sure we are all guilty of being angry enough to desire it; even once, but for a moment.
And that’s how we feel in our heart, we are a murderer. 1st John 3:15, “Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.” Jesus wants us to see that breaking the commandment of “do not murder” is something deeper than just the actual act itself. Before it’s an act it’s a thought. Jesus wants us to take what’s going on in our hearts and minds seriously before it ever gets to the breaking point.
2) Settle the matter with your brother (23-24). Vs. 23-“and there remember.” When God puts someone on your heart, he does it for a reason. We’re not to just dismiss it. We might think such a thing as a distraction meant to pull us away from our worship but when God does it we must see it as something that we need to address or else it will disrupt our worship.
“Brother has something against you”. It’s one thing to deal with the anger in your own heart toward someone, it’s one thing to address someone that you’re angry with; but to be proactive when it’s the other person who’s mad at you is something else entirely. We may be resistant to approach someone whom we’ve offended thinking, “I don’t know what they’re so angry about; it was no big deal; they just need to get over it”. But that’s just our perception. It’s much easier to downplay it when we’re the offender.
Sometimes we don’t know why someone is mad at us. Our first reaction to this might be, “I don’t have a problem with him. He’s the one with the problem, let him come to me.” But Jesus wants us to see that it doesn’t matter-if you know there is a problem-address it-no matter who is at fault. As the Fourfold Gospel commentary puts it, “The lesson teaches us to be reconciled with all who bear grudges against us, and says nothing as to whether their reasons are sufficient or insufficient, just or unjust.”
Sometimes we are at fault; sometimes we’re not. But regardless, because of what Jesus just said about the consequences for anger, we should care enough about our brother to not want to see him suffer judgment for the anger he has toward us. Do we care enough about our fellow Christian’s spiritual state to try to resolve an issue they have with us so they don’t continue to allow any bitterness or resentment to eat away at them? Do we love them enough to try to dismantle these issues so they don’t lash out at anyone else? Because that’s what often happens isn’t it? I’m angry at you but I take it out on others. If I can help to diffuse the ticking time bomb by initiating reconciliation then why wouldn’t I?
Now, we can’t make someone reconcile with us but if we do our best to try we can walk away knowing we did our part.
Vs. 24-“leave your gift at the alter”. Max Lucado said, “As far as I know, this is the only time God tells you to slip out of church early.” Jesus is explaining how important it is to establish peace, harmony and love between believers. Jesus wants us to finish unfinished business. Performing your religious duty isn’t going to be honored by God when we have no desire to try to reconcile with those whom we know have a problem with us. As someone once wrote, “If God’s forgiving, reconciling work does not find expression in our relationships, then our worship of God is empty.” We can’t allow discord in our relationships and make it right by doing our religious duty on Sunday.
But what if I go to my brother and he doesn’t want to forgive and reconcile? Rom. 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” I can only do my part. I can’t force you to reconcile with me but I can be at peace with myself knowing I tried my best.
What if my brother is a long way away? If you can’t go to him physically you do it another way. Call, write, facebook him; whatever-just make the effort. If you don’t know where they are or how to get a hold of them ask the Lord to make it possible. If you have the will, let the Lord make a way.
What if he’s deceased? You can settle it in your own heart with the Lord. However, you may be able to make it right through another. Perhaps this brother or sister in Christ has a close friend or relative. You could go to them and express your humility and desire to want to make things right. Perhaps they, through knowing about the situation, have been harboring some sort of bitterness towards you; even though it had nothing to do with them. But by you taking the initiative to make things right and settle the matter, reconciliation can happen.
3) Settle the matter with your adversary (25-26). Vs. 25-“who is taking you to court”. This is saying that you have done something wrong and your enemy is pressing charges. When we do something against someone, typically we are quick to justify it. “They had it coming to them”.
Sometimes people have that one neighbor they can’t stand. It’s so easy to want to even the score with that miserable neighbor isn’t it? The neighbor who’s dog is always leaving personal messages on our lawns. The neighbor who likes to party like it’s 1999. And then the neighbor whom you’ve battled with for years finally does something that pushes you over the edge and you do something downright nasty and illegal to get even. They press charges. That just makes you even more upset. “How dare he; after all the stress and turmoil he’s put me through; he’s going to take me to court?”
But the problem is; he has a case against you. Then God prompts you to humble yourself and settle the matter. Go ask for terms of peace; ask his forgiveness. Your first reaction is, “God, you must be nuts. Ask him to forgive me? That’ll be the day. He should be coming to me on his hands and knees begging my forgiveness for all the stunts he’s pulled.”
And we convince ourselves we’re in the right and God will vindicate us. But Jesus says-Vs. 26-“I tell you the truth…” It’s as is Jesus is saying, “If you want to remain prideful and stubborn then it won’t go well for you. The time for reconciliation will be passed. No time to change your mind then-you will need to deal with the full consequences of your actions.”
This might seem unfair but it’s not when things are put in perspective. The issue is regardless of the other person being a constant pain in our behind we have no justification in wrongdoing. We need to be the bigger person because we’re the Christian.
1st Pet. 2:11-12, “Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.” As the Christian, as the alien, we are supposed to be acting differently than we used to. We are to live such a good life around nonbelievers that even though they make a false accusation against us, they will see us continue to act in accordance to our new nature and come to glorify God. There’s no glory in allowing a private matter to become a public disgrace. Settle the matter quickly before the newspapers get a hold of the story and your reputation is tarnished and your witness adversely affected.
In all things we need to be like Christ. 1st Peter 2:19-23. Jesus didn’t play tit for tat. Jesus wasn’t focused on getting even; he let God handle that part while he was focused on maintaining his integrity.
Does this mean we just let people walk all over us? Does this mean we let people treat us how ever they want to? Does this mean we shouldn’t ever take anything to the police/justice system? No. But we do need to pick our battles. We can easily turn a small matter into a big problem. We need to handle situations with dignity and integrity. We can be both firm and fair. We can set boundaries without being extremists. We can take action without compromising on our morality. But our top priority should be making sure that God is glorified; even if that means I need to swallow my pride. Jesus wants me to dissolve my anger, erase my bitterness, remove my hatred and practice forgiveness. He wants me to settle the matter-in my heart, with my brother and yes, even with my enemy.
