A Sunday School teacher asked her class if they knew the difference between kindness and loving kindness. One little girl said she knew the difference. She told the teacher that kindness is like when you ask your mother for some toast and she gives it to you, but loving kindness is when you ask your mother for some toast and she gives it to you with butter and jam on it.
Some people enjoy dry toast. I am not one of them. I like mine with butter and orange marmalade. But suppose for a moment that it is someone else asking you for the toast. It is simple enough to put a couple of pieces of bread in a toaster. It takes a little more effort to wait for it to toast, butter it, smear it with jelly, and present it to that person. And even more effort to allow them to ask you for their preference of jelly. However, it is in that moment of service that your life can actually begin to improve. Jesus said of himself, “I came to serve, not be served.” He realized that his greatest impact on those He met would be through his service.
Let’s read 1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud” The word “kind” meant “being constructive.” Love is constructive. It builds others up with kind words or actions. If you are a person of love, you desire to speak words of encouragement and blessings into other people’s lives. You can do this to their face or in their absence.
When we speak critical words against someone in their absence, we are doing ourselves damage. We are gaining a reputation of being untrustworthy and having a double standard. Actually, we are allowing out true colors to be shown.
As most of you know, I was in a play last week. As I listened to the criticism leveled against other actors, I cringed. On stage they portrayed themselves as friends or family members. But once they left the stage all pretenses was left behind. I thought of how much like true life that example was.
Was there someone in your life that was an encourager for you? They had faith in your abilities even if you did not have that same faith. Was there someone in your life that you could be yourself around with all your flaws and they loved you anyway? What do you think of that person? Would you like to be more like them? You can.
Begin today to become a kind person who is constructive and builds others up. Speak kind words to others. Encourage them in their efforts. When they see you coming they won’t duck behind something to avoid you. Rather they will rush to you and embrace you. In return, you will feel good about yourself. You will actually begin to construct a better you, one that is pleasant to be around.
If you have never had that person in our life that encouraged you, you can still become the person who encourages others. Just look to Jesus. He encouraged everyone everywhere He went without complaint of his treatment.
At a luncheon for officers and their wives, the commanding general of a base delivered a seemingly endless oration. A young lieutenant grumbled to the woman sitting beside him, "What a pompous and unbearable old windbag that slob is!" The woman turned to him, her face red with rage.
"Excuse me, Lieutenant. Do you have any idea who I am?"
"No, ma’am," the man fumbled.
"I am the wife of the man you just called an unbearable old windbag."
"Oh," said the lieutenant. "Well, do you have any idea who I am?"
"No," said the general’s wife.
"Thank the Lord," said the lieutenant, getting up from his seat and disappearing into the crowd.
We are commanded not to be grumblers. Let’s read James 5:9. “Don’t grumble about each other, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. For look—the Judge is standing at the door!”
The Bible says we are wonderfully and uniquely made. That means we are not made exactly alike. We are all different with different traits and characteristics. As we go through the day our paths will cross and our personalities and opinions will come into contact with each other. Since we are different this contact may cause friction. And friction will inevitably lead to heat. Our heated emotions can cause us to react in a negative manner, resulting in others being pushed away.
Have you ever met a complaining Christian? They are the worse people to be around. Everything in their life is a cross to carry. They grumble about their circumstances. They grumble about their families and friends. They are miserable people to be around because they have made themselves miserable.
No one is perfect. No relationship is perfect. A sign of spiritual maturity is being able to overlook the weaknesses of others and being able to overlook your own weaknesses.
I have never met a grumbler who was happy with themselves. That is the root problem. And grumblers are judged by those around them. The cause of their problems is usually reflected toward them by others as bad choices. You are held accountable for your grumbling. So become someone pleasant to be around. People will then want to be around you. And you will have less to grumble about and will become happier. This will keep your relationships intact.
A church just had a change of ministers and was to be served by their first woman pastor. One of the parishioners was having a hard time accepting it, not because of any prejudice, but because his favorite pastime was fishing, and he had always enjoyed taking the pastor fishing. He just automatically assumed a woman pastor might not know anything about fishing. And in this particular case, he was right. But when she found out that he had always had this relationship with pastors in the past, she approached him and announced that whenever he wanted to go, she would enjoy going fishing with him.
The time came when they decided to go, and when they had gotten into the boat and anchored down, he found out very quickly that she knew nothing about baiting a hook, so he had to bait the hook for her. When she hooked her first fish, he realized she knew nothing about how to reel it in, so he had to help her reel it in. Then, of course, he had to take the fish off the hook as well. The result was that the man really got no fishing done himself that day. Then the wind began to blow, and she was cold, so she mentioned that she should have brought her jacket from the car. When he suggested that he could pull up the anchor and take her back to get it, she said, “Oh no, don’t bother, I’ll get it myself.” And with that, she stood up, got out of the boat, and began walking across the water to the shore. The man sat there shaking his head sadly. “Just like I figured,” he muttered, “Can’t swim either.”
As we see in this story the man’s grumbling affected his view point concerning the extraordinary talent of his pastor and his relationship with her.
Let’s read Nehemiah 4:14. “Then as I looked over the situation, I called together the nobles and the rest of the people and said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid of the enemy! Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes!’”
We are in this together. We have an enemy that desires to tear our families apart. He wants to turn wives against husbands, children against their parents, sibling against sibling. There is no greater misery than living in a home filled with strife. It is up to each of us to fight for our spouse, not against our spouse, when the enemy attacks. Each of us must fight for our children, our parents, our siblings when the enemy attacks. We must put aside our differences and show unity through love in these deadly attacks. It is an individual choice that must be made.
The enemy desires to tear apart our church family also. I have witnessed damage done to this body by selfish ambition and sin in the personal life of others. I have dealt with grumblers that no matter how much effort was made to deal with a situation, it was never enough. And although, as their pastor, it hurt for me to see them leave, it also brought about a sense of peace.
Peace at home begins with a peace within. We must deal with the issues that cause our unhappiness. Measure it against God’s Word. You may discover your strife is from a chiasm between you and God. We have no reason to fear the enemy only God. Peace will always lead to joy.
An umpire named Babe Pinelli once called Babe Ruth out on strikes. When the crowd booed with sharp disapproval at the call, the legendary Ruth turned to the umpire with disdain and said, "There’s 40,000 people here who know that the last pitch was ball, tomato head." Suspecting that the umpire would erupt with anger, the coaches and players braced themselves for Ruth’s ejection. However, the cool headed Pinelli replied, "Maybe so, Babe, but mine is the only opinion that counts."
As much as we would like to be like Pinelli and think that our opinion is the only one that counted, it’s just not the truth. The opinions of others matter. While it is true you can not please all of the people all of the time, you must realize that opinions about you are being formed.
Genesis 23:5-6 “The Hittites replied to Abraham, ‘Listen, my lord, you are an honored prince among us. Choose the finest of our tombs and bury her there. No one here will refuse to help you in this way.’”
Abraham was a foreigner living in the land of the Hittite. But their opinion of him was one of high esteem. When his wife died they did not offer him just a tomb but any of the finest tombs. He was assured that no matter which tomb he chooses the owner would gladly give it to him. What could Abraham have done to deserve such honor?
He probably had a very positive attitude. Even though he lived among a people who were not liked minded with him, he probably allowed them the freedom to be who they were. He probably never tried to push an agenda on them. Instead he was probably friendly and complimentary while not compromising his standards. He was storing away deposits that one day he would cash in.
Jesus said you are to “Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.” We store up our treasures by how we treat people. When we speak kind words to others, when we compliment others, when we show actions of love, when we forgive others; all these things are stored up treasures in heaven for us. And when we have a need, as Abraham did, people are more likely to rally around us. They have seen our love for them first hand. And they will desire to return that love. Nothing feels better than friendship. And we are the catalyst for that friendship.
We are all in this world together. We may not all agree with each other but we should feel an obligation toward each other.
A Mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. "What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered. He was devastated to discover it was a Mouse-Trap Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The Chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."
The Mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The Pig sympathized, but said, I am very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my Prayers."
The Mouse turned to the Cow and said, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The Cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse, I am sorry for you, but it’s no skin off my nose."
So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer’s mousetrap alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout the house - like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.
The Farmer’s wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake was furious and bit the farmer’s wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a severe fever.
Everyone knows that you treat a fever with a fresh chicken soup. So, the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup’s main ingredient. But his wife’s sickness continued, so friends and relatives came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.
The Farmer’s Wife did not get well and she died. So many people came to the funeral; the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.
The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness. And, Said, "I warned them about the mouse trap but they did not take my warning into account..."
Philippians 2:4 tells us “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” This is the key element to feeling better about ourselves. When we take an interest in others we come away with a sense of mattering in someone’s life. When we brush someone off with the thought of “This does not affect me” we have no idea how much it does. A lack of compassion toward others reflects a lack of compassion toward ourselves. Be interested in others thoughts and lives.
Here is your challenge today. Be kind to yourself and others. Smear a little butter and jelly on everyone’s toast. Don’t be a grumbler. Be someone who is pleasant to be around. You will enjoy being around yourself much more. Fight for unity in your relationships. Seek it with peace filled hearts. Be concerned about what others are concerned about. Be a listening ear and a praying friend. Be someone I want to be around and I will try to be someone you want to be around.
