HoHum:
Cherry Hill, NJ- It’s been 20 years since a group of friends made a bet among themselves, going so far as to have a written charter and start a savings account to hold the pot. The pot has grown to several thousand dollars and John Cheney is the winner- because he’s the groups last remaining bachelor. He plans to claim the prize at a weekend party. Let’s face it most people would not want to be John Cheney.
WBTU:
To alleviate loneliness and to avoid the trap of people saying “there must be something wrong with him/her”, some single Christians resort to extreme measures. For example, some Christian man may pray, “Lord, I have a great young lady I’ve fallen in love with. She comes from a good family, she’s attractive and she really loves me. Furthermore, we see most things eye to eye. There’s only one little problem- she doesn’t know you as her Lord and Savior. She’s not a Christian. But I’m confident we can work that out. What do you think, Lord?”
According to Scripture God will say, “No, my answer for you is this: Do not marry her.”
God’s answers are often unexpected. According to human reasoning, God’s answers at times are illogical. They fail to make good worldly sense, but they are always right.
Talked about this morning but want to talk about again tonight, the unmarried. Before begin, must say that the Bible says that being married is good and being single is good. Neither is exalted more than the other. However, What counsel does God give for those who are unmarried whether through divorce, widowhood, or never been married before.
Go again to 1 Cor. 7. One main point is communicated in these verses. Remaining unmarried is desirable, but it isn’t demanded. Rather than singleness being considered an undesirable life style, God offers different counsel. Married and singles can bring honor to God.
Thesis: 4 benefits of remaining single
Less Distress from a hostile world (Vs. 25-27)
Before dive into this point, vs. 25. This means that the Lord Jesus Christ, while on the earth, gave few instructions on this. In setting up the church by being an Apostle, God is giving Paul some new truths never before revealed. What Paul calls his opinion is actually just as inspired as statements from Jesus Christ, because, in the passing of time, these words are in the Bible through the HS. This is not just Paul’s opinion, but rather new truth never before revealed but equally authoritative and reliable. It is trustworthy.
Vs. 26- What present crisis is Paul talking about? Many different theories, but here is the one that makes sense to me. “Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawn in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and ill-treated-- the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.” Hebrews 11:35-38, NIV. Bad times of persecution will be upon the church (Nero).
A single person will undergo this kind of persecution alone. What kind of comfort, benefit is that? Well, think about what people do today to the families of their enemies. \If we remain single in such circumstances, we can face persecution with less trauma, but if we marry and even have children, we may live to witness them being tortured unmercifully.
“Well, what does that have to do with our day? Such terrible things do not happen here.” Pray that it does not happen but getting closer every day. A more modern example is Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Bonhoeffer was German and he moved away a few years before Hitler came to power. When Hitler was firmly established in Germany, Bonhoeffer chose to return to Nazi Germany to lead opposition to Hitler. Bonhoeffer never married. When he went back to Germany he devoted all of his efforts against Hitler. While in Germany he wrote books like Life Together and the Cost of Discipleship which are classics. He wrote that when Christ called a man He bid him come and die. After his arrest by the Gestapo, prison became a community in which he could practice his ministry. In 1945, Bonhoeffer comforted his fellow prisoners during the Allied bombings. He did some of his best ministry in prison. Finally, Bonhoeffer was hanged by the Nazis. He gave his life to a costly discipleship. He could have cursed his unmarried state; fought to be married (many women wanted to be Mrs. Bonhoeffer); but he did not. Now, 7 decades after his death, he is better known than when he lived. This world would not be the same without this German single adult. How different things would be if Bonhoeffer would have married. Probably never gone back to Germany because of the increased pressure of family life.
What does vs. 27 say? “Do not look for a wife” I know I’m walking on a touchy area, a tender spot for those terribly lonely. Seek the Lord and let the Lord seek your mate. The Lord knows your needs better than you do. Back off from a an effort to find a mate. Let God work. Your singleness and your feelings are known to God.
Fewer difficulties on a personal basis (Vs. 28)
Many people ignore this because of their loneliness. If single may be thinking, “There is nothing worse than being single. Nothing!” Oh yes there is.
One thing is being married to one with whom we are unfulfilled and incompatible. Success in life consists in escaping the many who will make us miserable.
““Under three things the earth trembles, under four it cannot bear up: a servant who becomes king, a fool who is full of food, an unloved woman who is married, and a maidservant who displaces her mistress.” Proverbs 30:21-23, NIV.
It mentions in the Bible that Leah was unloved. “When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren.” Genesis 29:31, NIV. However, this was a polygamous family. Christian counselors can attest that more seek help for an unhappy marriage than ever seek help because they are unhappily single.
Less Deterrence in Time Spent on Spiritual Matters (Vs. 29-31)
These words are a bit difficult to explain. The key to understanding them is in the first part of Vs. 29 and the last part of Vs. 31. Let’s put them together: “The time is short. This world in its present form is passing away.”
Time here is being emphasized. “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” James 4:14, NIV. Marrying and family can be an unwise investment of our time. Not saying that it is because marriage and family is a wise investment (leaving a legacy of children, grandchildren) but for some it might not be the best investment.
If we marry we will be deterred, impeded in our service to the Lord more than if we remain single. I didn’t say derailed. Nor am I saying marriage is sinful. I simply said what Paul is teaching. If you do not marry, you will discover that you do not have to face as many hindrances in the investment of your time in God’s work. These verses are describing a person who consistently has his or her eyes on eternity. Constantly focused on the day Christ is returning. So when he is with those who weep, it is as if he is not weeping. There isn’t the time, as it were. He is with those that rejoice, and yet this person is one who does not rejoice. There is an intensity of focus on spiritual things. That’s the thought.
I need to remind us again that it is not sinful to be married. If we marry, it is expected by God and by your family that you will invest time in them. Cultivating a home takes time and energy. Paul’s point is that if you do not invest the time with a marriage partner and children, think of all the available time and energy you will have for the things of God.
Luanne Hodgin (from my home church, long time youth sponsor)- One thing for certain, be single certainly allowed me to be available as a youth worker for 25 years.....including retreats, conventions, weekly meetings, etc. I also was blessed with the opportunity to serve on many, many short term mission trips... Not only did I help others through these trips, but the impact it had on my heart, my relationship with God, and the impact of those trips on the students I was leading. Being single also allows me to spend extra time with nieces and nephews, helping parents in the their later years through health issues. I guess another way to say it is singleness provides opportunity. Opportunity to reach out and serve God more freely.
Fewer distractions in our relationship with the Lord (Vs. 32-35)
Summarize- We could say, “should be” concerned about spiritual things about all else. The interests of married people are divided. This is not sinful or wrong. There interests have to be divided. When we marry we accept as our responsibility the cultivation of a Christian home. If single, can invest that time and energy in the things of God.
Sad to see so many singles today who are distracted in their devotion to the Lord. So focused on their sex drive and/or getting married that cannot serve the Lord. Paul is encouraging the singles to be focused on something much more worthwhile and that is our relationship with God. Our culture is so focused on the things of the flesh that it makes it difficult but Paul and the HS are saying that it can be done.
Randy Harris is a name that might be familiar to some. He teaches at Abilene Christian University (acappella Church of Christ). Randy Harris' colleagues jokingly call him "the only Church of Christ monk." Harris is unmarried. However, he is deeply committed to the Church of Christ. If have opportunity need to hear him. He regularly takes 40 prayer retreats where he cuts himself off from all contact with others and seeks the Lord in prayer. The Lord is using him mightily. How could he do this with a wife and children?
