Happy Mother’s Day to all of our moms. I thought I would begin today with a little history lesson. Mother’s Day is now 101 years old but it actually began 110 years ago in 1905. Anna Jarvis stood at her mother’s grave site and decided to dedicate her life to establish a day that mothers would be honored. In 1907 she purchased and passed out 500 white carnations to each mother in the congregation at her mother’s church. In 1908 a church in the same city responded to her request for a Sunday to honor mothers. The trend spread quickly and by 1909 churches in 46 states plus Canada and Mexico where holding services for mothers.
Soon Anna Jarvis gave up her job to work full time writing letters to politicians, clergy members, business leaders, women’s clubs, and anyone else of influence. In 1912 her home state of West Virginia became the first state to adopt an official Mother’s Day. And in 1914 the U. S. Congress passed a Joint Resolution, and President Woodrow Wilson signed it, establishing Mother’s Day as an official holiday to celebrate the woman’s role in the family. In less than 10 years Anna Jarvis’ dream was realized. But soon it was tarnished.
She became increasingly concerned over the commercialization of Mother’s Day. She let it be known that her desire was for it to be a day of sentiment, not profit. She opposed the selling of flowers and greeting cards. She considered greeting cards as a poor excuse for the letter that people were too lazy to write.
Anna Jarvis soon became a radical against the holiday she had worked so hard to establish. In 1923, she filed a suit against New York Governor Al Smith over a Mother’s Day celebration. When the suit was dismissed, she began a public protest and was arrested for disturbing the peace. In 1931, she publicly criticized First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt for her work with a Mother’s Day committee that did support Anna Jarvis’ view point.
Anna Jarvis died in 1948, childless, blind, and penniless. She was buried next to her mother in Philadelphia.
I guess she is right in the sense that honoring our Mothers has become marketable. It’s easier to buy a gift card with a cute poem than it is to write a note detailing your love and respect for your mom. You know what moms want more than gifts? They want your time. And not just one day a year. My mom has been gone three years now and I miss her. If your mom is gone you know the feeling. If your mom is still with you spend time with her and not just once a year. Let her know you love her. That was the intent of Mother’s Day.
Let’s talk a minute about the first mother, Eve. I discovered some interesting things concerning being the first mother. There were no “in-laws” to deal with. There was no one to be compared to (Eve never heard, "Johnny's mother..."). There was no bad culture or influences to fight against. There were no birthdays (of your own) to celebrate (perpetually 29 and holding!).You held the title, "World's Best Mom" for decades! You have a family tree like no other mother! There are more Grandkids than you can count!
However, there were some disadvantages also. You had no mother of your own to seek advice from. You had no parenting books for raising children. There were no Grandparents to baby-sit the kids. You had a large family -- whether you wanted one or not
("Be fruitful and MULTIPLY!").You're the 1st mom to have to deal with snakes. (We all know how bad that turned out!) You are blamed for every mother's pain in childbirth. You are also blamed for EVERYTHING that has gone wrong for...well basically for all of human history!
Even today mom’s get blamed for a lot of things. If a mom is forced to work, she is criticized for not being home to raise her children. If the mom is at home and receiving assistance, she is criticized for not having a job. A mom’s heart is easily broken. Yet a mom will stand strong when needed. I admire and respect mothers and the steadfastness with which they persevere.
Psalm 127:3 says “Children are a gift from the Lord;
they are a reward from him.” As once a child myself and from experiencing the love of a mother from my own wife, I assure there are times when one must wonder is the gift worth it.
This gift requires constant commitment.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 “And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”
A little old lady was amazed at how nice the young man was next door. Every day he would help her gather things from her car or help her in her yard. One day, the old lady finally asks the young man, "Son, how did you become such a fine young man?"
The young man replied, "Well, when I was a boy, I had a drug problem."
The old lady was shocked. "I can’t believe that."
The young man replied, "It’s true. My mom drug me to church every Sunday morning.”
Women outnumber men in attendance in every major Christian denomination, and they are 20% to 25% more likely to attend worship at least weekly. Fathers have allowed the pressure to fall upon the shoulders of the moms to insure their children are in church.
When Moses wrote Deuteronomy he was talking to all the people, not just the men. And he is telling them to talk about God with your kids ALL THE TIME. It’s just something natural that you do while you’re going about your daily things–getting up, sitting at home, walking along the road (or sitting in a car), getting ready for bed. When your child is upset because she wasn’t invited to a birthday party, you can hug her and say a prayer with her. When your son is fighting with his sister, you can take his hand and tell him “blessed are the peacemakers”. You can make it natural, a part of your everyday life. Help them to memorize Scripture and learn about different Bible stories.
This gift requires patience.
Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”
The Greek word for “Fathers” was also used for parents. Moms, also, are to treat their children with a measure of respect. You children are fallen sinners just like all of us. However, if you choose to provoke your children, here is the way to do it.
. “Discipline your child only when you lose your temper. Let him get away with everything, then without warning, let ‘em have it! Blow your top! Scream and Yell! Let ‘er Rip! Go Crazy! That’s the way to let your child know “who’s REALLY in control around here.”
As often as possible, compare your child to someone else --- a sibling is usually the best choice. Statements like, “Why can’t you be like Johnny” are sure to spur your child on to success!
Don’t waste time LISTENING to your child. Jump down their throat as soon as they open their mouth. After all, you already know everything they are going to say, right? Besides that, if you’re understanding and reasonable, they might start wanting to talk things over with you … and that would NEVER do!
Treat your child with constant suspicion. Expect the worst. Classic comments like ‘Can’t you do ANYTHING right?’ or ‘You’ll never amount to anything.’ can save your child from aiming too high in life.
If your child does anything wrong, NEVER let them forget it! Keep rubbing it in. Keep it on file to pull out at opportune moments. If you’re good at this, you can develop a long list and have it ready to pull out every chance you get.” (K. Edward Skidmore)
Discipline is important but it must be done in a calm manner so the child will understand that it is their action that is unacceptable and not them. Comparison breeds discontent. When you compare your child to others they may become filled with self-doubt. Always affirm your child. Listen to your child’s point of view. This will teach them they will be able to dialog with you. Trust your child until that trust is broken. And then allow them the opportunity to rebuild that trust. By doing so you will build them up rather than tear them down. Don’t constantly remind them of their failures. You have been forgiven, so learn to forgive them.
This gift requires teaching.
Psalm 78:5-6 “For he issued his laws to Jacob;
he gave his instructions to Israel.
He commanded our ancestors
to teach them to their children,
so the next generation might know them—
even the children not yet born—
and they in turn will teach their own children.”
Mom, it’s your responsibility to teach certain things to your children. They will not learn how to live a life centered around God at school. Nor will they learn practical applications for life at church.
The purpose of the laws and instructions that God gave to Israel was to set perimeters for them to stay within. You must have perimeters set for your children. Teach them that they cannot always have everything they want. If not, when they become adults they will expect the same from the world and will becomes disillusioned and demanding. Teach them they will not always win. If not, when they become adults and face failures, they will blame others for their lack of ambition. Teach them responsibility. If not, when they become adults, they will live a life of chaos.
Model love and compassion. Show them the reality of life so that they will adapt to that reality as they age. Teach them what it means to love God with their heart, being, and mind. Teach them how to love their neighbor by allowing them to participate in acts of kindness toward those in need.
You are not only shaping your child’s generation but generations to come.
This gift requires training
Proverbs 22:6 “Direct your children onto the right path,
and when they are older, they will not leave it.”
I had a friend one time confide in me that his wife was quite upset with his daughter. She had moved in with her boyfriend and the mom considered this a sinful lifestyle. My friend’s statement to me was “We didn’t raise her that way.” But I thought to myself, “That’s exactly how you raised her.”, because they never went to church.
I understand that church kids can turn bad also. They can just as easily slip into the world of drugs and sex as any child. But the odds are in your favor if you dedicate yourself to setting the example of the importance of church by attending regularly. When mom and dad see it as no big deal to blow off church, the kids will follow.
You are responsible for directing your child onto the right path. It may take a gentle tug or dragging them but you must get them on the right path. They will come a day when you no longer have that responsibility. They will make their own choices. All you can do is pray that they will remain on the path you set them on. Just be sure you have set them on the right path.
This gift requires discipline.
Proverbs 23:13-14 “Don’t fail to discipline your children.
The rod of punishment won’t kill them. Physical discipline
may well save them from death.”
Did everyone see the clip of the mom in Baltimore? She has been called the “Mom of the Year”. The Chief of Police made the statement that if all moms had went to the area and collected their children there would have been no riot.
She heard that some high-schoolers were involved in throwing bricks at police officers. She was in the area and decided to be sure her son was not involved. When she arrived she spotted him although he was wearing a hooded jacket and bandanna over his face. She immediately waded into the midst of chaos and began to physically slap her son and push him away from the crowd. She was relentless. She beat him all the way to the other side of the street, removing his hood and bandanna so his face could be publicly displayed. When asked about her reaction she stated “He’s my only son. I didn’t want him dead.”
Some folks criticized her for such physical discipline. But there are times when it is necessary for you to physically discipline your child. Constrained discipline will not kill them and may very well save them from worse. My father spanked me twice. Once was for running out in traffic and almost being hit by a car. His spanking was not as painful as being hit by a car would have been. And it taught me to not run into traffic.
Four quick points on discipline.
Discipline is an act of love.
Proverbs 13:24 “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. We discipline our children because we care for them. Neglected children often turn out to be lawless adults.
Discipline is an act of hope
Proverbs 19:18 “Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.” There is a narrow window of opportunity to discipline your child. Neglected children often live lives of ruin as adults.
Discipline is an act of instruction.
Proverbs 22:15 “A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.”
Children make foolish choices. They do not have the life experiences to do otherwise. Foolish children easily become foolish adults.
Discipline gets results.
Proverbs 29:15 “To discipline a child produces wisdom,
but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.” Moms seem to suffer the most when their children grow-up to be lawless, foolish adults who ruin their lives. I believe there is a special bond between mother and child that begins in the womb. That bond never really ends.
This gift requires nurture.
Ephesians 4:29 “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”
The “Mom of the Year” failed here. Her discipline was laced with foul and abusive language. Guard against the “never” and “always” statements. “You never listen.” You always misbehave.”
Rather use words of encouragement. Give good, helpful, Godly advice. Let your child know and feel the importance they are in your life. Nurture as you would a tender plant. Love them. Care for them.
Your job as a mother is not easy. It is demanding and it is a life time commitment. Erma Bombeck wrote this essay entitled, When God Created Women. “By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands."
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No Way!", said the Angel. The Lord replied, "Oh, it’s not the hands that are the problem. It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have! One pair of eyes are to see through the closed doors when she asks, “What are you kids doing in there?” Another pair in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know. And of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, “I understand and I love you without uttering so much as a word.
The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish." "But I can’t!", the Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing a creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower! The Angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish." "Will she be able to think?", asked the Angel. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate," The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman’s cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one." "That’s not a leak", the Lord objected, "That’s a tear!" "What’s the tear for?", the Angel asked. The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride," The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius Lord, this woman is amazing.”
Moms, you are really, truly amazing.
