HoHum:
A mother was concerned when she heard that her son had a live in girlfriend. She went to his house. Her son was the only one home. The son said, “It’s not what you think, Mom. She needed a place to stay. She has her bedroom and I have mine.” The son then showed his mother the guest bedroom where his girlfriend was supposedly sleeping. This bedroom was filled with feminine decorations and full of stuff from her old apartment. Somewhat satisfied and not comfortable asking sensitive questions, the mother left but before she left she did something as a test. In a few days her son called her, “Mother, we can’t find any of our remotes. We can’t operate the TV or stereo. We’ve looked everywhere and asked all of our friends. Just to be fair, when you were here the other day, did you accidentally take our remotes?” The mother answered, “Yes, son, I put them all in your girlfriends bed.”
WBTU:
Let’s be honest, at least 9 out of 10 times when a couple move in together the main motivation is to engage in carnal pleasures outside of the confines of a marriage covenant.
Many in these modern times tend to substitute for marriage the experience of living together as couples. What used to be called “living in sin,” or “shacking up together” is now called “living together,” “partnership” or “cohabitation.” There is little doubt that this type of lifestyle is on the increase. Last year 7.9 million couples were cohabiting. Three of four women in the U.S. have lived with a partner without being married by the age of 30. Two-thirds of those aged 15-19 believe cohabitation is a good idea.
All too frequently the wisdom of this age is, “try it before you buy it.” The analogy is one of taking a car for a test drive before we buy it, which makes good sense for cars, since they are not living beings made in the image of God. But people are not made out of steel and plastic the way cars are. This analogy breaks down because when the test driver rejects the car, the car is not left with any psychological aftereffects, but the same cannot be said of people who have suffered a serious rejection.
Studies done on cohabitation show that this is not good. Recent study from the American College of Pediatricians: "Research shows that, rather than serving as a stepping stone to a healthy marriage, living together before marriage (cohabitation) makes couples more likely to break up and more likely to divorce if they do marry." “Those who live together before marriage are 50% more likely to divorce than those who remained apart until the wedding."
Sexual relations, outside of marriage, is condemned in the Scriptures as sexual immorality. Sexual immorality is porneia, which is where we get our English root for the word pornography. This Greek word covered all forms of sexual deviancy. Those who practice “sexual immorality,” without any repentance or desire to change and stop it, will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9), for “The body is not meant for sexual immorality,” 1 Corinthians 6:13, NIV. So we must “flee from sexual immorality” (6:18). This same teaching is found in Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; and Colossians 3:5. The reason our Lord gives such stern warnings against sexual immorality is that it causes serious damage to God’s purposes for marriage.
Christians must disagree with the prevailing attitude that, “So long as no one is harmed, anything goes between two consenting adults, as long as both parties are agreeable!” Such thinking goes against the instructions of the Maker of the couple. This also assumes that “no harm will come” of such relationships. That is not true! Usually the woman is willing to accept this arrangement in hopes that the man will eventually marry her, while the man enters into this arrangement with the hopes that he can avoid the entanglements of a marriage commitment. Usually the genders come at this from opposite viewpoints. In fact, on average the woman leaves a cohabiting relationship after 15 months because the man refuses to commit.
The best teaching I know of on the topic of cohabitation is 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8. Read.
In this letter the Apostle Paul is talking about the Lord’s second coming and our preparation for that event. William Lecky describes the picture of sexual license during the days of the Roman Empire. He wrote: “[The cities] had become centers of the wildest corruption.... There has probably never been a period when vice was more extravagant or uncontrolled [than when it was under the Caesars]”
It is taken for granted in most cultures that married couples must avoid adultery- but what about young boys who are unmarried? Well, boys will be boys. But not from God’s point of view. Paul guides Christians on what the will of the Lord is for those who are unmarried.
Paul begins this section by aiming at the brothers, the family of faith, “Finally, brothers.” Apparently, some in the church were living a loose and free lifestyle that was not fitting for Christians. This same state of affairs exists today, who name Christ’s name, but whose lifestyle suggests a wholly different allegiance to the norms of our pagan culture.
Paul asks us to live to please God. The whole object of our lives is to be nothing less than the goal of pleasing the Lord. What if the Lord came back while in such an unholy state?
Do this “more and more.” This was putting a handicap on the ministry, and the body was not producing or seeing any major impact on their culture. For those who were involved in sexual immorality, they believed that they could do anything they pleased instead of pleasing the One who matters.
Thesis: What are the ways that we must please God in the area of our sexual purity?
We must avoid all fornication (4:3)
The Gentile pagan world would agree that adultery and incest are wrong, but premarital sex between two consenting individuals is okay. But Paul, speaking for Jesus Christ, warned them to avoid sexual immorality. The word “avoid” is better given as “abstain.” Total abstinence from all sexual activities until marriage.
This is God’s will. Too many moan about not knowing what the will of God is for their lives. Here is something we know definitely.
We must know how to conduct a Christian courtship (4:4-5)
Vs. 4 is difficult but interesting. NIV & ESV- that each of you should learn to control his body”; RSV- to take a wife for himself; NASB- how to possess his own vessel. So which is it: to gain control over his own body or to take a wife for himself?
Key is in “his own vessel”- NASB. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, ...” 1 Peter 3:7, KJV.
It is important to note the position or oder of the Greek words: “the his own vessel.” Placing the words “his own” between “the” and “vessel” emphasizes the fact that it is speaking to the young man going about the process of dating or preparing for marriage.
Paul is urging the Christians to act in a wholly different way as they went about dating and preparing for marriage. It is to be done in holiness and honor. HS wants Christian men to display holiness in the way they court their future wives; it is also done with honor; that is, they were to have some good manners about themselves, going about it with dignity and showing the best courtesies. Some guidelines:
The man pursues the woman.
Family and community are important.
Group activities are encouraged.
Seriously date only Christians.
Commitment precedes intimacy. Christian couples wait until the wedding night to have physical relations
We must refuse to cheat a brother or sister in Christ (4:6-8)
If one had sexual relations with someone who later married a different Christian, then the new partner would have been cheated and disadvantaged by the fact that his marriage partner had already been joined as “one flesh” to another before their marriage. “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”” 1 Corinthians 6:16, NIV. Even though this is forgivable it will leave scars as consequences that brings baggage to a potential marital relationship.
3 reasons are given why this is a serious matter:
1. God will vindicate the wronged party (Vs. 6)- A third party is injuring a marriage relationship. When sexual relations are experienced outside of marriage, the purpose of oneness, mutuality, loyalty, and intimacy is crushed and abused. Walter Trobisch said this: “When I am called in to counsel in a marriage crisis, I can almost always trace the origin of the problems to the kind of life which the husband and wife lived before they were married. The young man who has not learned self control before marriage will not have it during marriage. In a sense, you deprive your future wife of something, even if you do not yet know her, and you endanger your future happiness together.
2. God has called us to holiness (Vs. 7). Instead of being satisfied with a life of uncleanness, the call of God is for us to be different from the culture around us. We must practice self control over our natural instincts through the HS. God knows what is best for us
3. Because the HS is offended (Vs. 8). Since both parties are Christians and have the HS in them, then the sexual encounter is no longer a matter of two consenting adults; it involves the HS, who does not consent. “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, NIV.
