HoHum:
A young man was looking for a used car when he came upon an ad for a brand new Jaguar being sold for only $50. This must be a typo he thought, but when he called the phone number he was assured that $50 was correct. The next day he went by to see the car and to his amazement found the automobile to be in excellent condition. Asking the woman why she was selling a $150,000 car for only $50 the woman said, “A year ago my husband began to go through a mid life crisis. That’s when he bought this car. About a month ago he ran off with his 23 year old secretary. A week ago he called to say he was running short on cash and asked me to sell his Jag and send him the money. So that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
WBTU:
A. Matthew 19:3- 6 review. About a month ago we talked about these Scriptures and we began talking about covenant marriage. Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman instituted by and publicly entered into before God. Marriage is permanent (as long as we both shall live), sacred (more than a contract), intimate (one flesh), mutual (free self giving of one human being to another), and exclusive (no other human relationship should interfere with marriage).
We find in these verses that the Pharisees want to talk about divorce while Jesus wants to talk about God’s original design of marriage.
Notice their question in vs. 3. Two schools of thought among the rabbis about divorce at that time. One school, Shammai, taught that the only reason for divorce is impurity and/or sexual immorality in the woman. The other school, Hillel, taught that the man could divorce a woman for any and every reason. These reasons could include if a woman is a bad cook or if the man found a prettier and/or younger woman to be his wife. In that culture a woman could never divorce a man. Only a man could divorce, never a woman. Women had few rights.
B. Matthew 19:7-9
Vs. 7- Pharisees want Jesus to give his view on divorce. By the way, most of the Pharisees sided with the school of Hillel on divorce. The Scripture they are referring to is in Deuteronomy 24: If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.
Several reasons Moses through the HS gave this Scripture:
1) Wife swopping, divorced and married another man cannot go back to original husband
2) There needed to be a procedure for divorce
3) If no procedure for divorce then violence and/or murder usually on the woman. In a way God was protecting women in this sinful world.
The debate among the rabbis was about this word “indecent.” The Hebrew word is just as unclear as our English word so little help there. Some like to bring up the issue that in the Law adultery was punishable by stoning. This is true. However, how many times was this done? We find this among Jesus parent’s (in that day of arranged marriages, a pledge to be married was considered marriage even though no consummation yet), “This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. (Joseph assumed adultery) Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace (take before elders at city gate and have her stoned), he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream… Matthew 1:18-20
Also need to know that polygamy was uncommon in the days of Jesus.
Vs. 8- Moses permitted you- Notice that Jesus says, wait a minute, Moses did not command this but offered this as a compromise.
to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. Moses through HS gave this permission to divorce because of humanity’s sinful ways. Divorce shows sin. Much like God’s law shows us our sin and our need for Jesus Christ.
But it was not this way from the beginning- pointing back to vs. 4-6.
Vs. 9- except for marital unfaithfulness, other translations use sexual immorality and this is the more correct translation. Only acceptable reason for two Christians to divorce is adultery. Adultery desecrates the marriage covenant (one flesh).
anyone who divorces his wife... and marries another woman commits adultery. These men who divorce their wives for any reason and marry other women are committing adultery. Jesus also says same things for women: And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery- Mark 10:12. Talking about sin. Sin always harms us -- always. We may not realize it; we may even deny it -- but the reality is still there: sin always hurts us. It hurts us personally; it hurts our relationships; it hurts our families; it hurts our bodies and our minds and our souls -- and most of all, it hurts our relationship with God.
Vs. 10- The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” Disciples recognized that Jesus’ stand on divorce higher than the more conservative rabbis. Jesus does side with the Shammai school of thought here but even more strict than that. Even in case of adultery, Jesus does not command divorce but permits it. This implies that even in this case of adultery, the goal is repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation.
Vs. 11-12 Jesus encourages being unmarried and celibacy. Talk about in a future sermon.
Thesis: Let’s give some applications to individual groups
For instances:
To the unmarried
Be careful whom you marry.
Do not be unequally yoked. Must be a Christian. Never date anyone who is a non Christian
Be suspicious of anyone who is divorced. If their ex spouse is unmarried, never date them. Goal needs to be repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Do not stand in the way of this.
B. Pray about your marital state. Need to have God direct steps when it comes to dating and marriage. Do not settle for someone. A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones- Proverbs 12:4
To the happily married
Thank the Lord for this. He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD- Proverbs 18:22.
Keep working on your marriage. This did not happen by accident. Saying, “Work like it all depends on you. Pray like it all depends on God.” Keep working and praying. Good now but do not take it for granted. Anything can happen.
To the unhappily married
When things go really bad, need to get some help. If start to give up on marriage then look for reasons to get out. Looking for a way out is sinful.
In Matthew 19:9 the Greek word for marital unfaithfulness or more closely sexual immorality is porneia. This is a root word for our English word pornography. Want to make marriage worse, men, just dive into pornography. Ladies, want to make things worse with your husband, just start reading those romance novels. More than one reason that Jesus said these words in the Sermon on the Mount: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”- Matthew 5:28. These are the seeds from where adultery springs.
What about those physically abused? Need to think about safety for you and children and get out. Communicate to spouse that do not want a divorce but need to work on anger and cruelty before come back together. Goal is repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation.
To the divorced
Do not seek to be married to someone else until no chance of reconciliation.
Need to talk about innocent vs. guilty parties in this. Innocent party is one who remains sexually pure until the other spouse gets married to someone else. When this spouse is married to someone else, then the innocent party is free from the first marriage.
Had a difficult time with this? Debating this issue of the innocent vs. guilty party in divorce. Why am I having such a hard time with this? Thought about the problems of this in my own family. My parents divorced. Are one of my parents innocent and the other guilty? Put’s a child in a bad place. After thinking about this, one of my parents called on the phone. Asked them about this idea of the innocent vs. guilty party. My parent said, “Davon, both of us were at fault in the divorce.”
What about this or that situation? Rarely is one party completely innocent and the other completely guilty. In this we are talking about remarriage. The goal is repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation to the original partner.
Is remarriage the unpardonable sin, living in sin? The present tense of Matthew 19:9 “commits adultery” does not imply “continues to commit adultery.”
