Sermon: “Rooted in Love not Lust”
Series: Rooted - Youth Group
Opening Video: Sermoncentral.com “Love Defined”
Hands on Illustration:
2 tablets have youth write Gods definition of love and how he describes it and the world’s definition of love on separate boards.
Thesis: When you compare love verse lust you very quickly discover that one leads to happiness, blessings and fulfillment in life while the other leads to discontentment, guilt, curses and despair in life. Which will you choose?
Introduction:
We all have scar tissue on our lives from sexual sin. This sin is ripping our culture apart today and it’s destroying the fabric of this nation. It’s responsible for ripping the family unit apart today more than ever. Lust today is called love but lust is not love! We watch the news and we see one family after another family being attacked and maimed by sexual sin. We see the Hollywood stars jumping from one bed to another and seeming to have little regard for traditional marriage. They are applauded for being free and progressive in their lifestyle– free from what – free to be deceived? They propose that the sexual sins of the world is a normal and even accepted way to live. Lust is promoted while Biblical love is criticized and mocked by the world. They say lust is real love buts it’s not and lust will never bring satisfaction or fulfillment in life.
Lust and its path into sexual sin is addressed by Jesus in Scripture. I am always amazed at how relevant the Bible is to society today. The problem of sexual sin is not new it’s the same as it was back in the Bible days. God is never afraid to talk about sexual issues. The church seems to be afraid to deal with sexual issues but God is not afraid. The Bible references men’s private parts and even the private parts of a female. The Bible addresses a women’s menstrual period and is candid in discussing the sexual dimension of us all.
This last weekend was Valentine’s Day weekend. It’s the weekend we celebrate the wonderful gift of love. Many people went out for a romantic dinner on Sunday night and they experienced a night of romance. Some experienced a genuine love while others pursued a lust filled evening of sexual indulgence. It’s important for us to have a clear picture on what is real love and what is sexual sin. The Bible tells us clearly the difference between love and lust.
T.S. – Let’s read a few Scripture texts that address the subject of lust first so we can gain a proper understanding of lust and love. One is a sexual sin the other is a God given gift of real love between husband and wife. Between us and God.
Scripture Texts:
Matthew 5:27-30:
27“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
"I say then: Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law " (Galatians 5:16-18).
"For all that is in the world the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of the Father, but is of the world" (1 John 2:16).
"Let not sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts" (Romans 6:12).
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law" (Galatians 5:22, 23).
Lust is featured in Scripture as negative, as evil, as bad for us not good for us. It’s warned against because it does not come from God but from the world.
1 Corinthians 13:
Love
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5It is not rude, it is not self–seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
9For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
T.S. - If you flip 1 Cor. 13 the Love chapter to the opposite thought it explains the ramifications of the sexual sin of lust.
I. The Comparison of Love vs Lust from 1Corithinans 13 and other texts.
a. Lust (or lechery) is a craving for sexual intercourse, sometimes to the point of assuming a self-indulgent or violent character. Lust, or a desire for the flesh of another, is considered a sin, or impure act, in the three major Abrahamic religions. From www. wikipedia.org.
i. This feeling is often confused with love, but it is a purely physical attraction and has no lasting effect or commitment to another person.
1. It’s the worst way to live your life.
2. It will bring destruction to a person’s life.
b. Love is defined as the most excellent way by Paul:
i. Why is love called the most excellent way? (1 Cor. 12:31)
1. John 3:16 will helps to answer this question:
a. 16“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
b. This passage is the most famous and the most familiar passage of the Bible. It is quoted the most and its reference numbers are seen at football games, parades, graffiti, and the like.
c. Max shares this about our verse from his book 3:16:
i. A twenty-six-word parade of hope: beginning with God, ending with life, and urging us to do the same. Brief enough to write on a napkin or memorize in a moment, yet solid enough to weather two thousand years of storms and questions. If you know nothing of the Bible, start here. If you know everything in the Bible, return here. We all need the reminder. The heart of the human problem is the heart of the human. And God’s treatment is prescribed in John 3:16. He loves. He gave. We believe. We live. The words are to scripture what the Mississippi River is to America-an entryway into the heartland (Page 8).
c. I add at the core of this verse is that wonderful word Love!
i. Max states, “We’ve all but worn out this word. This morning I used love to describe my feelings toward my wife and toward peanut butter. Far from identical emotions. I never proposed to a jar of peanut butter (though I have let one sit on my lap during a television show). Overuse had defused the word, leaving it with the punch of a butterfly wing (page 34).
ii. Max also adds why this is the most excellent way on page 39 of his book;
1. Love explains why he came. Love explains how he endured…’Observe how Christ loved us…he didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us’ (Eph. 5:2 MSG).
2. This is why Paul calls love the most excellent way – God is it and Jesus showed it to us with his life and death and therefore we too need to embrace it as a way of life.
The comparison of love verse lust:
Love’s consequences:
1. Gives us everything we desire!
2. Love is patient
3. Love is kind
4. Love does not envy
5. Love is not boastful
6. Love is not proud
7. Love is not rude
8. Love is not self-seeking
9. Love is not easily angered
10. Love does not keep record of wrongs
11. Love delights in truth
12. Love protects
13. Love trusts
14. Love hopes
15. Love perseveres
16. Love never fails
17. Love is the greatest
Lust’s consequences:
1. Steals everything we desire
2. Lust is impatient
3. Lust is cruel
4. Lust envies others
5. Lust is boastful
6. Lust is prideful
7. Lust is rude to others
8. Lust is self-centered
9. Lust is easily angered
10. Lust keeps score of wrongs
11. Lust hates truth
12. Lust takes advantage
13. Lust distrusts others
14. Lust has no hope
15. Lust gives up
16. Lust always fails
17. Lust is the worst way to live
The two mindsets explained:
1) Love gives us everything we crave for!
a. Lust on the other hand will steal everything away from us and leave us desolate and destitute.
i. It’s appetite will never be satisfied!
2) Love is patient - the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
a. Lust is never patient it wants it’s selfish desires fulfilled at any cost.
i. Lust is at the root of date rape, and rape in general.
3) Love is kind - friendly feeling; liking, of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person: a kind and loving person.
a. Lust is not kind because it demands from others and even takes from others without respect for the others feelings.
4) Love does not envy - a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.
a. Lust envies what others have and then seeks to take it for themselves.
5) Love does not boast - to speak with exaggeration and excessive pride, esp. about oneself.
a. Lust loves to boast about its victims to others as a mark of success.
6) Love is not prideful - a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.
a. Lust is proud of its conquests and defeats and thinks the other person or victim should be happy I even acknowledge them.
7) Love is not rude - discourteous or impolite, esp. in a deliberate way: a rude reply.
a. Lust is always impolite and rude to others. It see’s others as piece of meat not a person.
8) Love is not self-seeking - devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
a. Illustration: The Christian Grocer - A Christian grocer was in financial difficulties because his customers thought they could run up their bills indefinitely. They felt that such a saintly man would never press them for payment or take them to court. Their ready excuse was, “We don’t have money to pay our bills.” “How can I pay my creditors, if the people I have trusted do not pay me?” puzzled the grocer. What should a Christian do in such a case—believe all things and all men and go bankrupt? A novel idea came to him. He posted the following notice on the bulletin board in front of his store: “On this bulletin board, thirty days from now, will appear the names of all persons who have been indebted to me for one year or more and who, after repeated requests, have refused to pay! Some have told me that they are unable to pay, but they are able to build homes, drive cars, and have other things that I could have if I had the money due me. I hope I don’t have to put any names on the board, but I won’t be put off any longer!” Results followed immediately. Many paid their old accounts, while others promised to do so on the next payday. This grocer’s action was wholly consistent with Christian love. He refused to believe the falsehoods of others and by so doing didn’t allow them to continue in deceit and dishonesty. Love believes all things that encourages honesty and virtue in others. Love does not believe lies but endeavors to correct them.
b. Lust puts its own needs and wants ahead of everyone else!
9) Love is not easily angered - feeling or showing anger or strong resentment (usually fol. by at, with, or about): to be angry at the dean; to be angry about the snub.
a. Lust snubs others quickly and without regret it uses anger to ration it’s lack of attention and care for others.
b. Anger is also a part of rape.
10) Love keeps no record of wrongs – instead it forgives and lets them go!
a. Lust keeps score and gets even.
11) Love does not delight in evil – love instead delights in the good and shuns the evil. Love rejoices in the truth – love seeks to live by what is true – what is of God!
a. Lust rejoices in the act of evil. It then afterwards desires more.
12) Love always protects – Love cares for and protects others by shielding them from the injustices of this world.
a. Lust never protects it takes advantage of others.
13) Love always trusts – love trusts with a faith that does not waver in doubt.
a. Lust will never trust anyone .
14) Love always hopes - the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.
a. Lust has no hope because it lives for the moment then when the moment is gone seeks another short fix with no fulfillment.
15) Love always perseveres - to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly.
a. Illustration: Love in Deed and Truth: A young man spent an entire evening telling a girl how much he loved her. He said that he could not live without her; that he would go to the ends of the earth for her; yes, go through fire for her, or die for her. However, on leaving, he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow night if it doesn’t rain.” How often we say we love God yet deny it by our actions. Christ will give His crown of life only to those who love Him in deed and in truth (From Illustrations of Bible Truths).
b. Lust quits and gives up on others and even on itself. Lust does not stick through a relationship when it gets tough.
16) Love never fails
a. God is love and he has never failed nor will he fail!
b. Lust will always lead to failure and un-fulfillment in life.
17) Love is the more excellent way.
a. Why? Remember John 3:16 from above?
b. Lust is the way of death and destruction! It will bring death not life!
T.S. – Paul makes it clear in this section of Scripture what love looks and how love acts. Paul then tells us to make sure we live the life of love because it is the only thing that will last in the end. In the comparison chart above we see that lust does fulfill the promise to destroy your life. It never makes things better instead it makes things worse.
II. The Bible repeatedly tries to warn us of the consequences of lust and reminds us of the benefits of love.
a. Dan Corner notes: “In the Sermon on the Mount, the Lord Jesus shocked the people of His day when He equated lust to ADULTERY! His actual words are: "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed ADULTERY with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into HELL." Please note the serious consequences of lust (mental adultery). According to Jesus, it's possible to end up in Hell over this! Therefore, this sin must not be taken lightly, as many people do.”
i. Lust leads to bondage and bondage is not a way to live:
Lust...
Lust destroyed my love
Lust pushed away my one
Lust made me weak
Lust took the one love
Lust killed my happiness
Lust is a sin I committed
Lust, I shouldn't had done
Lust got my suffocating
Lust made light turn into darkness
Lust made me miss my wife
Lust, my innocent girl is hurt
Lust I hurt myself too
Lust I miss my family I built
Lust, you were my biggest mistake....
Joy O'Pateng
b. Video Illustration: The lure of sex is not love - Bluefishtv.com in reality it’s lust.
i. An explanation of Lust from: http://teenadvice.about.com/od/loveanddating/a/3thingslove_2.htm
1. You know the feeling… that unexplainable and often sudden physical draw to another person that hits you like a ton of bricks within moments of meeting. This is the feeling that is all too often mistaken for “love at first sight” but that is really nothing more than an intense physical attraction. When we fall in lust we often think we’re in love for three reasons; the attraction is instantly intense and therefore feels pre-destined, you are essentially strangers meaning that your idea of who the person is resides almost entirely in the realm of fantasy and fantasies always seem perfect, and finally, you have yet to really see the other person for who they are because you are so caught up in a whirlwind of desire that you see only what you want to see. If love blinds then lust gouges out your eyes and renders you an irrational mess. Overwhelmed by the physical allure people in lust can’t keep their hands off of each other, they think about and talk about one another 24/7. If you are inexperienced in matters of the heart it is hard to see that lustful feelings are only of a surface nature. Lust differs from love like night differs from day. When you are in lust you are still in the dark about the other person, they look good because you haven’t seen them in the clear light of day, but eventually reality will take hold. Only once you know the object of your lust better and see them flaws and all will you really know if you have found love. In the early days of a relationship lust rules and when the dust settles many people find they don’t really like the person to whom they were so intensely physically attracted. When this happens the relationship abruptly ends and leaves people wondering where the love went. But love is more than a physical longing, although physical attraction is definitely a key ingredient in any romantic relationship, and if all you have between you is attraction you’re not really in love. Really loving another person takes time, it takes perseverance and it can’t be based on physical attraction alone. Until you know somebody well you can’t really be in love.
ii. The pattern of destruction from lust is portrayed again says Dowd through the life of David:
1. David’s lust brought death, first to Bathsheba’s husband and then to David and Bathsheba’s son. The poison spread throughout David’s family. Amnon, one of David’s sons, lusted after Tamar, one of David’s daughters. Echoing the selfish words of Potiphar’s wife, Amnon demanded, “Come to bed with me.” Tamar refused. But Tamar’s words were no match for the poison, and Amnon, driven “to the point of illness” by lust, raped her.
2. He adds: The assault left Tamar “a desolate woman.” I imagine her as distant, joyless, deadened. To add further insult to the injury, Tamar’s father did nothing to avenge her or defend her honor. Perhaps David’s own struggle with lust kept him from doing the right thing. Whatever the cause, the consequences of Amnon’s lust and David’s inaction were devastating.
a. Lust distorts our vision and leads us to see people as objects instead of what they are—unique masterpieces created in God’s image.
b. The Bible tells us that Absalom—David’s son and Tamar’s brother—plotted for two years to kill Amnon. After the deed was done, Absalom carried out a coup against his king and father, triggering a civil war that claimed Absalom himself.
3. Once Again, lust led to death, literally and it’s always going to lead us to death not life.
a. See 2 Samuel 11-18
c. Love on the other hand brings joy, eternal life and happiness.
i. We have talked a lot over the last year about the importance of creating a healing church here at Christian Hills. Today’s text gives us more insight and wisdom into how a church becomes known for the power of healing.
1. Paul told us in 1 Cor. 13 that there is a way to live as a Christian which is called the “most excellent way.” This is the optimum way to act and to function as a Christian and as a church of Jesus Christ. The premise and the methodology of living excellently is “the way of love.” Paul tells us that this path is greater than all the gifts he just spoke about.
a. Quick background on the city of Corinth.
ii. Love is a subject that is near and dear to my heart. When I first became a Christian I spent a year studying about one subject in the Bible and that subject was love. I was fascinated by the subject and drawn to it like a magnet because I felt unloved and clueless to what love looked like or acted like. Yet the Bible kept telling me that God was love and He loved so much he sent His son to die for us. I learned that to be a Christian meant to act and be like Christ and the first description of Jesus was - He loved the people.
iii. Paul in 1 Cor. 13 says it’s time to grow up and embrace the way of love.
1. It’s the greatest way to serve God as a Christian.
a. There is no substitute for love!
2. It’s the only way into Heaven so we need to lose the performance agenda and pick up the agenda of love.
3. Love is the language and the lifestyle of Heaven so we need to embrace it now and speak it now and live it now.
a. Illustration: Love Demonstrated: A class of little girls was learning to spell. They spelled a number of small words, such as “pig,” “cat,” “dog,” “cow,” and amused themselves by imitating the sounds that these animals make. Then little Mary was asked to spell “love.” She didn’t stop to give the letters, but ran and threw her arms around the teacher’s neck and kissed her on the cheek. “We spell ‘love’ that way at our house,” she said. The girls laughed, but the teacher said, “That is a beautiful way; but do you know another way to spell ‘love’?” “Oh, yes,” cried Mary, “I spell love this way,” and she began to put the books in order on her teacher’s desk. “I spell love by helping everybody when they need me.” (From Illustrations of Bible Truth)
iv. Paul tells us that out of the three great perspectives of life: faith, hope and love – love is the greatest because God equals love!
1. The bottom line is this LOVE is the greatest way to live – it’s the greatest way to survive in this world, it’s the greatest because it’s rooted in John 3:16!
a. God is love and we need to be like God!
i. Illustration from Illustrations Unlimited: Once, while riding in the country, I saw on a farmer’s barn a weather vane on the arrow of which was inscribed these words: “God is Love.” I turned in at the gate and asked the farmer, “What do you mean by that? Do you think God’s love is changeable; that it veers about as that arrow turns in the winds?” The farmer said, “Oh, no! I mean that whichever way the wind blows, God is still Love.” Charles H. Spurgeon
2. Love is the key to greatness – it’s the key to meaning in life –it’s the key to entrance into Heaven.
v. How important is love to create a place of healing?
1. Illustration “Love Needed”: Some years ago, Dr. Karl Menninger, noted doctor and psychologist, was seeking the cause of many of his patients’ ills. One day he called in his clinical staff and proceeded to unfold a plan for developing, in his clinic, an atmosphere of creative love. All patients were to be given large quantities of love; no unloving attitudes were to be displayed in the presence of the patients, and all nurses and doctors were to go about their work in and out of the various rooms with a loving attitude. At the end of six months, the time spent by patients in the institution was cut in half (From Illustrations of Bible Truths).
2. We need to administer this lifestyle in this church – the church must choose to love if they want to be a place that facilitates and creates a healing environment for others.
Conclusion:
The consequence of lust can be seen in how it is impacting Tiger Woods as a prime example today. Just read all the news articles about him and his many affairs. In 2008 he earned 110 million dollars. He will not earn that this year. His recent scandal has caused him to be dropped by many sponsors and his marriage is in peril. He is currently in a rehab facility for sexual addiction and his life shows you what happens when lust takes control of your life.
Some closing thoughts on the lure of lust:
Every trap must have bait, and the sex trap is baited by a wicked woman (the "worldly woman" that we have already studied about in Proverbs). She is called the "strange woman" (Proverbs 2:16). She is called the "evil woman" (Proverbs 6:24). She is called a "whorish woman" and an "adulteress" (Proverbs 6:26). She is called a "harlot" and a "whore" (Proverbs 7:10 and 23:27). She is described as a foolish woman who "knows nothing" (Proverbs 9:13). She is "an adulterous woman" who acts in secrecy and covers up her wickedness with lies (Proverbs 30:19-20). At first glance it would seem that every thinking young man would want to run from such a woman. The way that she is described is appalling, not appealing. And yet she is very successful in alluring and attracting men to herself.
In Proverbs the emphasis is upon warning the young man about the wicked woman and very little is said about warning the young woman about the wicked man, but the principles hold true for both. Young ladies ought to find as much practical help from these warnings as young men should.)
The following from above is taken from: http://byfaithonline.com/page/ordinary-life/lust-a-life-and-death-matter
Video: Dr. Martin Luther King wingclips.com
Altar call:
Should we not choose the path of love and not the path of lust because one path leads to fulfillment in life the other to a hopeless meaningless life?
Choose the more excellent way! Choose Love!
Small Group questions
1. How do we love others in our life and what does it look like when we love others God’s way?
2. Why is it impossible to fully love others and to fully love God if we do not love ourselves?
3. How are we to love others?
Answers:
A. Love is not a feeling it is choice. (Eph 1:4)
B. Love is serving others (Matt 20:28)
C. Love is a sacrifice (john 15:13)
4. What does Godly Love produce in our lives and toward others (1 Cor 13:4-8)?
Answers:
A. patience and kindness
5. What is not Love?
Answers: Envy, Boast-full, Proud, Rude, it is not self seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, and does not delight in evil
6. What does Love Do?
Answers:
A. Delights in the truth, always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres and love never fails
