Introduction:
A woman is depressed so she went to her doctor. After examining her and talking with her the doctor said that she did not need medication to deal with her depression. What she needed to do is loving acts of service for someone for the next 14 days. The woman began making excuses why that would not work. Disgusted the doctor finally said, “If that’s the case it will take 21 days to work for you.”
Thesis: To find out what that has to do with marriage and family and our Scripture this morning, we will be discussing 4 things that contrast.
I. Contract vs. Covenant
We have been talking lately about how a Christian marriage is a covenant between two persons and God. Kind of like what Ecclesiastes 4:12 calls a cord of 3 strands.
Increasingly in our society marriage is considered a contract. This is shown in our day by prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. These are full blown contracts. According to a 20/20 television special, today’s prenuptial agreements address more than money. Increasingly they include such things as how often a couple will be expected to have sex, what time spouses will get up in the morning, and what time they will go to bed at night. This is contract marriage at its worst.
Contract vs. Covenant- A contract is an agreement made in distrust. A covenant is an agreement made in trust. A contract is based on limited liability. A covenant is based on unlimited responsibility. In contract you sign on the dotted line. In covenant you tow the line. A contract focuses on the growth of self. A covenant focuses on the giving of self. A contract is predicated on results. A covenant is predicated on relationships. A contact is made at arm’s length. A covenant is made at arm’s embrace. A contract asks, “What am I getting from this marriage?” A covenant asks, “What am I bringing to this marriage?” A contract is enforced by a court. A covenant is enforced by character. A contract is bound by leverage. A covenant is bound by loyalty. A contract is convenience- based. A covenant is commitment- based. A contract is a “have to” commitment. A covenant is a “want to” commitment. A contract is for a specified time. A covenant is forever. In contract two are connected until the agreement is broken. In covenant two are committed “until death do us part.” In contract nobody leaves until the terms are met. In covenant nobody leaves- period!
Don’t waste another day living as if marriage is nothing more than a legal contract that can be easily broken. Upgrade to a covenant marriage.
But covenant marriage sounds too good to be true. Is covenant marriage a dream that cannot be lived out in reality?
2. Stubbornness vs. submission
This has to start with our covenant with God through Jesus Christ. “and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also--not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience towards God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ,” 1 Peter 3:21, NIV. When we are presented the gospel, we can either accept it or reject it, no neutral ground. We answer yes or no. If we choose to say yes, we complete the covenant by being baptized. This pledge (from 1 Peter 3:21) is like signing our name on the dotted line of the covenant. The agreement is then binding on both parties. When we turn to Christ and declare that we want to become a disciple of Christ, God asks us to take an oath. This oath is Christian Baptism. God has already taken His oath. He did it in the cross and signed it with His blood, our baptism “seals” the deal.
From the day we’re born, our worlds revolve around ourselves. That’s the nature of what the Bible calls “the flesh.” As we grow in Jesus Christ, we overcome this self serving nature. “And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.” 2 Corinthians 5:15, NIV. However, many times our stubborn heart wants to continue to live, not for God, but for ourselves. This stubbornness to Christ is what causes many problems in the home. “At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.” Titus 3:3, NIV.
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21, NIV. This is the deeper spiritual problem. "Submission- That word has received such a bad reputation that we rarely use it. Submission is a willful act of yielding to the power, control or authority of another. Submission is a voluntary act. A critical part of the discipleship process is submission. To be true followers of Jesus, we must learn to be submissive."
So many people have made Jesus Christ their Savior, but they have not made him their Lord. Cannot have one without the other. Need to surrender to Jesus Christ. It must start here. Stop the stubborn refusal to Jesus Christ. Come during the invitation time.
3. Selfishness vs. servanthood
In our Scriptures today we find Jesus washing his disciples feet. Jesus says that we should wash each other’s feet (John 13:14). We should be looking for these opportunities of service in our own homes. Jesus saw a need and instead of belittling his disciples, he went ahead and washed their feet.
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”” Mark 10:45, NIV.
“Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.” 1 Corinthians 10:24, NIV.
Is it possible to stop being selfish and be a servant even to my family and spouse? This is unnatural, but for a Christian, possible. “God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5:5, NIV. As Christians we have love of God in our hearts and we give that love to others. We can be God’s channel for loving our children and spouse.
How can I love my family when there is nothing to love? “We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19, NIV. Gaither Vocal Band- I am loved, I am loved I can risk loving you For the One who knows me best Loves me most I am loved you are loved Won't you please take my hand We are free to love each other We are loved
The best way to show love many times is through service to others. Need to see love in action. Pick up the towel! May have nothing to do with washing feet, but it will most certainly mean stooping to serve, day in and day out, being willing to engage in those little acts of kindness and service to your spouse, children or parents. It may mean washing dishes; it may mean changing diapers; it may mean learning to be interested in sports or music; it may mean a thousand different loving responses to the needs of our family. Pick up the towel, and start washing! Love washes feet!
4. haughtiness vs. humility
From John 13 Jesus washing his disciples feet we find a strong example of humility. To understand this incident, we need to know that washing someone’s feet was the task for the lowest servants (Carson, p. 462). Friends did not wash their friends’ feet. We have no examples in ancient literature of a superior washing the feet of an inferior (ibid.). And so the disciples would have been shocked to have their Teacher and Lord (John 13:13) wash their feet! The disciples haughtiness (being proud; snobbish; arrogant) caused this situation. Jesus used this as a wonderful example of humility. He did this to give us an example of how we should humbly serve one another. This humility has at least three practical aspects:
Humility recognizes that no task is beneath us to do for Christ’s sake. We should never think that a task is beneath us especially in our families. We are Christ’s slave. Sometimes He asks His slaves to clean up vomit out of love for Him.
Humility requires thinking of others more than of ourselves. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” Philippians 2:3-5
Humility requires getting our focus off our rights and our needs and onto others’ needs. Jesus certainly had the right for the disciples to wash His feet. I’m sure that His feet is as dirty as theirs. Jesus wasn’t focused on His needs or His rights, but on their needs. They needed their dirty feet washed, but they also needed this lesson in humble service. How many quarrels at church and in our homes would stop before they started if we would take our eyes off ourselves, our rights, and our needs, and instead think about the other person’s needs! A husband thinks, “I’ve worked hard all day, putting up with hassles at work so that I can provide for my family. Don’t I have a right to some peace and quiet when I come home at night?” Maybe, but that’s the wrong focus. Our focus should be on how we can serve our wife and children. The wife thinks, “I’ve been changing diapers, shopping for groceries with screaming kids, cleaning up messes all over the house, and trying to get dinner in time. Don’t I have a right for a little time by myself?” Maybe, but that’s the wrong focus. Humble service requires getting our focus off ourselves and onto others’ needs.
Conclusion and invitation:
Preacher, you don’t know my family, you don’t know my spouse, they are unlovable? At the Last Supper, Jesus is in the same room with a group of people about to betray him, deny him and desert him. And he knew it. Talk about hard-to like people. But what does Jesus do? He washes their feet. Whoa. He's surrounded by guys who don't deserve his love or respect. And he washes their feet. Right here, Jesus shows how to love the unlovable. It's not to just tolerate them. Or just not make fun of them. Or to pretend we love them. Instead, we should serve them.
