HoHum:
A man and woman, both 60 years old, had just spent the day celebrating 40 years of marriage. They got home and were examining their gifts when all of a sudden an angel appeared and said, “Because you two have been such a loving couple all these years, the Lord is going to give each of you one wish.” The wife jumped up and said, “I want to travel around the world.” Poof! Airline tickets to London, Paris, Moscow, and Tokyo appeared in her hand. Next it was the husbands turn, he scratched his head and then said, “I’d like to have a wife 30 years younger than me.” Poof! He was all of a sudden 90 years old.
WBTU:
Covenant is mentioned in 272 verses of the NIV Bible. This is a key concept of Bible
When then is the meaning of this word covenant, which is woven so much into the fabric of Scripture? A covenant, like a contract, is an agreement made between two or more persons, but the nature of a covenant is different from a contract.
Thesis: Sharing 5 characteristics of a covenant relationship
For instances:
1. Covenants are initiated for the benefit of the other person
“From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father’s house. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.” 1 Samuel 18:2-4, NIV. Notice that Jonathan took the initiative in this covenant. His first act was an act of giving. Jonathan’s motivation for making a covenant with David grew from his love for David and not from a selfish desire to manipulate David to do something for him.
Read Ruth 1:16-17. Verse before this Naomi mad it clear to Ruth that she had nothing to offer her. Yet Ruth’s commitment to Naomi clearly grew from her concern for Naomi’s well being. While David and Naomi’s sense of commitment to the covenant was fully as strong as that of Jonathan and Ruth, they did not initiate the covenant. Covenants are born from a desire to minister to the other person, not to manipulate the person or to get something.
In a covenant marriage each spouse is committed to the other’s well being. Obviously, if both of them keep the covenant, then both of them will benefit, but the motivation and the attitude is not self gratification but giving of self for the other’s well being.
Come on Davon, how many entered into marriage this way? Let’s be honest. I wish I could say that my supreme motivation when I got married was to make my wife happy. In all honesty, I must admit that most of my thoughts centered on how happy I was. I must admit that my marriage at times is less than a covenant marriage. Many operate on a contract mentality. Must grow in the Lord and grow in marriage.
2. In covenant relationships, the parties make no holds barred promises
Ruth 1:16-17 and then Ruth 1:18. Notice that after Ruth makes this no holds barred promise, Naomi responds by letting Ruth come along. I suppose Naomi could have refused. However, she accepted Ruth’s no holds barred promise so the covenant was entered into by both parties.
In the New Covenant with Jesus Christ God gives some no holds barred promises. God wants to forgive our sins and give us an inheritance and much more. In order for us to have God’s forgiveness we must respond. Now God has made full provision for our sins, and he stands fully ready to forgive at any moment. God will not withdraw his covenant promise (ends at death), but if we are to have this covenant we must be willing to respond in belief, confession, repentance, and baptism.
Covenant marriages are characterized by no holds barred promises especially when we examine wedding vows. For example, many ceremonies include this: Wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife? To live together in the holy estate of matrimony; wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep thou only unto her so long as you both shall live?” To which husband responds, “I will.” And wife makes a similar pledge to husband. This is the language of covenant marriage, not contract marriage. Sadly, even though couples have stated a covenant relationship, they practice a contact marriage in which giving is based on the spouse’s behavior.
3. Covenant relationships are based on steadfast love
Hesed in OT; agape in NT
“Because of the LORD’s great love (loving kindness) we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22, 23, NIV.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV.
WE make contracts with almost anyone, even an unknown salesperson, but covenants are made only with those with whom we have loving relationships. “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.” “And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.” 1 Samuel 18:1, 3, NIV. Jonathan did not make a covenant with David to establish a relationship; the covenant grew from a loving relationship that was already there.
God’s stedfast love motivates us to enter into covenant with him. We know in our hearts that God is committed to our best interests. Therefore, with confidence we can commit our lives to loving and serving him. In covenant marriage, it is much the same. We enter our marriage with a sense that we are loved and that we love each other; thus, we can freely commit ourselves to each other for life. We are then responsible for maintaining this attitude of love throughout the marriage.
This is far deeper than a romantic feeling. Steadfast love does have an emotional element, but it is primarily a way of thinking and behaving toward one’s spouse. Steadfast love is choosing to have loving regard for my spouse, choosing to focus on her positive characteristics, and expressing appreciation to her for these characteristics. It is doing things for her that will express this attitude.
At the heart steadfast love is a choice. That’s why Paul commanded husbands to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25) and challenged wives to learn to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). Something that can be commanded, taught, and learned is not beyond our control. We choose our attitudes toward our spouse. The attitude of steadfast love is the single most important factor in a covenant marriage.
4. Covenant relationships view commitment as permanent
Ruth 1:16-17. We cannot read these words without hearing the ring of permanence.
The permanence of human covenants is illustrated in Jonathan’s covenant relationship with David. The covenant was made when David was young and long before he became king of Israel. Years later we find David asking, “Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”” 2 Samuel 9:1, NIV. It was discovered that Jonathan had a crippled son named Mephibosheth still living, so David brought him to his own house and cared for him the rest of his life. David’s contract with Jonathan was permanent even after Jonathan’s death.
“Till death do us part” or “So long as we both shall live,” are statements of permanence. This is not a contract for the next 5 years or until we find a “justifiable reason” to end the marriage.
5. Covenant relationships require confrontation and forgiveness
Two responses- confrontation and forgiveness- are essential in a covenant marriage. Confrontation means holding the other person responsible for their actions. Forgiving means a willingness to lift the penalty and continue a loving, growing relationship. Notice here confrontation and forgiveness with covenant of David““If his sons forsake my law and do not follow my statutes, if they violate my decrees and fail to keep my commands, I will punish their sin with the rod, their iniquity with flogging; but I will not take my love from him, nor will I ever betray my faithfulness. I will not violate my covenant or alter what my lips have uttered. Once for all, I have sworn by my holiness--and I will not lie to David-- that his line will continue for ever and his throne endure before me like the sun; it will be established for ever like the moon, the faithful witness in the sky.” Selah” Psalms 89:30-37, NIV.
God’s response to man’s failure has always been confrontation and a willingness to forgive. Our failure does not cause God to withdraw his covenant. In human relationships it is no different. None of us is sinless or perfect. We will sometimes fail one another. We will fail to live up to the covenants we have made with each other. Such failure need not destroy the covenant, but it does call for confrontation and forgiveness.
Some people have trouble confronting and some people have trouble forgiving. Covenant marriage is marked by a commitment to responsible living and a willingness to forgive when the spouse fails. There will be failures in every marriage. Although our covenants with each other have been seriously made, we will sometimes fail to live up to those covenant commitments. A good marriage is not destroyed by some failures, but a good marriage will be destroyed if we are not willing to deal with our failures and renew our covenant. Like our relationship with Jesus Christ, we must renew our marriage covenant from time to time.
