The Real You
James 3:1-12
Bruce Barton: "For good or ill, your conversation is your advertisement. Every time you open your mouth you let men look into your mind."
Someone has said “that great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people.” The church that James is writing to was full of small-minded people who gossiped about each other and tore one another apart with their tongues. I wonder if churches today are a bit like that church. In writing to the church, James has more to say about the tongue than any other book of the Bible; not a coincidence as James is about "Practical Christian Living." Remember a few weeks ago we saw James say this in James 1:26, “if anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”
Jesus said in Luke 6:45, “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” (NIV)
Tongue control really is a choice we make. It takes spiritual discipline and Spiritual maturity to use our tongue for the good of others. It also is a heart issue. What comes out of our mouths really says more about what is really in our hearts.
Controlling the tongue is one of life's greatest challenges. Someone has observed, "The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail more than his tongue."
Let’s understand words are power. The Bible says this in Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
(NIV) We either build up with our words or destroy with our words. They bring life to another or kill another’s spirit. And which ever one we love to do that is the fruit produce. Good fruit that makes a positive difference in the world, or evil fruit that ruins lives and destroys the testimony of the church.
Do you remember the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me?” I don’t know who came up with that but it’s just not true because words can break our hearts. Broken bones can heal with time, but a broken spirit caused by words of death, is not quickly repaired.
Since such harm can happen from words we chose why choose to harm? That is why James says the tongue reveals that people choose to be how they are. The tongue reveals The Real You.
I. The Mark of Maturity (v.1-5) In his commentary Frank Gaebelein wrote: Tongue control? It will never be achieved unless there is first of all heart and mind control…. When any Christian comes to the point of yielding to the Lord-in full sincerity, cost what it may—control of his thought life, the problem of managing his tongue will be solved, provided that such surrender goes deeper than the intellect and reaches the emotions and the will. [Frank E. Gaebelein, The Practical Epistle of James, Tests of a Living Faith. (Great Neck, NY: Channel Press, 1955), 80f].
This Mark of Maturity and surrender means that we understand Ephesians 4:29“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)
We are not going to spend a great deal of time with v.1 and 2 because we will come back to those verses in a couple of weeks. However, the call is obvious. Unless a person has control of their tongue they should not be a teacher or in positions of leadership within the church. A mature Christian has learned to control their tongue.
Notice the two ways of control:
A. The Obedient Tongue (v.3) this requires obedience to the Word of God. In Romans 14:19 and 1 Thessalonians 5:11 we are commanded to edify or encourage one another. In his book, Encouragement The Key To Caring, Larry Crabb tells us this: “An encourager must know the power of his words and use that force to build up his Christian brothers and sisters. He must use his words carefully. From the book of Proverbs emerge three principles that should guide him as he speaks.”
1. Be Slow to speak
2. Be sensitive in your Speech
3. Be Gentle in your Speech (pg.114)
Dr. David Jeremiah said this, “God designed the church to be the place where people can be accepted for who they really are and be encouraged to become the people they were meant to be.” The Power of Encouragement, (pg.171)
What James is telling us is that an obedient tongue is able to affect the whole person. Not only that an obedient tongue will positively influence the entire church body.
We all know people right here that when they come up to talk to us we know they are going to say something encouraging. There are people that I know right here today that when they call the office or when they walk up after church a smile comes across my face because I know the affect their word of encouragement brings into my life.
B. The Subordinate Tongue (v.4-5) here we have the tongue described as a small rudder and member but it has control over something much larger. It is piloted by someone else. The idea here is the tongue is under control of the Master pilot, the Lord Jesus Christ.
When the storms of life toss us around the disciplined believer is able to not only be in control of their emotions but also able to take control of the environment around them because all look to a controlled person in uncontrollable situations. The tongue as a rudder is guided by the pilot because the believer has learned to trust the captain of his life.
Notice v.5. A little member, melos in the Greek. It is where we get our English word melody. It is an underlying thought of composing a song. James gives us a wonderful picture of the tongue as a little member that must be in tune with God, with itself, and with others to produce harmony. If it is not in tune the melody turns to disharmony and discord.
When a believer is not walking in fellowship with the Captain of our salvation then our tongues are out of tune with what God would have us to say. It is when we yield our rights and our lives to the pilot of our ship so we can be in tune with God and other believers.
Much like our singing today with just one of us off in our part the whole quartet would sound off. It is when we sacrifice and submit to God’s authority and to the good of the body as a whole that we learn our part in the harmony of the body of Christ. We all have a harmony part to play within this church family. When we do that our life song sounds better and the orchestration of the church comes together as a master symphony.
I. The Mark of Maturity
II. The Scar of Silliness (v.6-12) Here we see another person within the church a person who is unconcerned with the unity of the church family, a person that has deeply wounded others and lacks judgment. This is the immature believer who only cares for themselves and has chosen to go down a path of destruction.
Charles Osgood, a CBS newsman, reported the demolition of a Denver landmark. In two moving sentences he said: “For seventy-five years, the Cosmopolitan had been a leading hotel in Denver, Colorado. It was demolished in eight seconds.” Someone asked what he was thinking as he spoke those words. Osgood replied, “Construction is a long tedious process. Destruction is instantaneous. I wasn’t just talking about buildings. I was talking about reputations; I thought it’s much easier to be destructive than constructive” [Source unknown].
V.6 also makes it clear when a person is destructive, critical and negative about others they are letting Satan use them. Notice the progression of this evil tongue:
A. The Uncaring Tongue (**v.6**)
This type of evil speech says things like I don’t care what people think. It is the Christian consumed by self with no regard toward others or unity within the body of Christ.
They don’t understand that words really matter and they don’t care that words really matter. It can even be one sentence that sets a person on a path of destruction.
After Karen Carpenter died of heart failure at the age of 32 brought on by years of fighting an eating disorder, it came out that her fatal obsession with her weight was triggered by a single reviewer’s comment. When referring to Karen, this man called her “Richard’s chubby sister.” While I’m sure there were other factors attributing to Karen Carpenter’s struggles, this one comment unleashed a flurry of self-doubt, which led to her eventual disease and death.
B. The Unruly Tongue (v.7-8) The word unruly means unstable. They spout off about anything and everything. If they don’t like it we’ll all be sure to know it. The Bible uses this word four times. It tells us that a pastor, deacon and their wives and children must not be unruly (Titus 1:6). The Bible tells us many are unruly, according to Titus 1:10, and that we are to “warn the unruly” in 1 Thessalonians 5:14. This type of Tongue feels they have to share what is on their heart, but it is always tied to criticism.
They may say something nice. When they want to talk to you, you’ll feel uneasy because they mask what they say. They usually point out the negative and they mask it with I’m just trying to help you.
On their honeymoon, a groom took his bride by the hand and said, "Now that we’re married, dear, I hope you won’t mind if I mention a few little defects that I’ve noticed about you." "Not at all," the bride replied sweetly. "It was those little defects that kept me from getting a better husband."
C. The Unashamed Tongue (v.9-10) this next step of trash talking has really damaged the church. This has done more harm to the kingdom of God and it is the reason many don’t want any part of any church.
They praise the Lord on Sunday. They’re regular in their attendance, but when they leave church they are ruled by evil.
This type of tongue is constantly negative and critical about people. They sing on Sunday and spew poison about people when they walk out the door. They feel because of their faithful attendance and hard work they have a right to say anything they want. They’ll say, “I have a right to speak my mind.”
A man said to John Wesley, “I pride myself in speaking my mind; that is my talent.” Wesley said, “The Lord wouldn’t mind if you buried that talent.”
**end of V.10**
“My brethren, these things ought not to be so.” This is a plea to Christians. We don’t have to worry about the enemy destroying our churches we Christians often do that ourselves. When will we see we don’t have a right to say anything we want? Christians have no rights. We were bought by the incorruptible blood of the lamb of God.
D. The Unrepentant Tongue (v.11-12) this person would say, “If they don’t like it tough.” They have allowed themselves to be so saturated and polluted by the poison of
Satan that they are no longer speaking for God at all. It really leads back to the end of v.6 where their new nature Christianity is no longer visible. They have chosen to let the old nature reign and they don’t even realize they are set on fire by hell.
James uses the word “hell.” The actual word is “Gehenna,” and refers to a famed geographical site. Gehenna is a valley (the Valley of Hinnom) just outside Jerusalem that was used as a garbage dump. Fires blazed there continually and the valley came to be associated with the final place of punishment for the wicked. The metaphor graphically points to the source of corrupt speech.
Their speech is corrupted by bitterness, and they are leaving no lasting legacy for the kingdom of God. Here is probably one of the saddest commentaries to a person’s life. The church is relieved they are not here. Because they have caused so much destruction that other believers have left the church because of their bitter spirit.
Conclusion: Ladies and gentlemen we are known by our words. We are not fooling anybody and we are definitely not fooling God. Gossip within the body is not a person’s right to say whatever they think. It is destroying the testimony of the church and ultimately defiling the Lord Jesus’ bride.
Churches, families and individuals have been deeply wounded by the poor judgment of another. An Uncaring, Unruly, Unashamed, Unrepentant Tongue is Un-Godly. Whenever a person says I don’t care what people think. What they are really saying is I don’t care what God thinks, because God cares about people.
Ladies and gentlemen we are known by our words. Are you choosing yours wisely? When you walk up to someone do they begin to smile because they know you are going to add value to their life by a word of encouragement?
Pastor how can I know which type of tongue I have? Simple, Discouragers care more about problems than people. An encouragers care more about people than problems.
Which is THE REAL YOU?
PRAY
