Happy day after Valentine’s Day. Guys, I hope you remembered in time to celebrate with your lovely spouse. Valentine’s Day is a good day to take that special someone out on a date, perhaps a dinner and a movie. Well, this year the media is all aflutter about a movie based on the book “Fifty Shades of Grey”. There are probably not too many people who have not heard of this book. Since it was written in 2011, it has become the #8 best seller of all time. It is currently #3 on the New York Times Best Seller List, where it’s been on the list for 75 weeks. It has sold 100 million copies, surpassing “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” by 15 million copies and is fast approaching to overtake “The Hobbit.” In four years, it outsold a great book based on Christian principals that was published 65 years ago.
This past weekend it was released as a movie. It is estimated that it will generate $89 million dollars at the box office, shattering the opening weekend of “American Sniper”, making it the most lucrative debut of an R rated movie in history. One theater in Ireland is showing the movie on all 12 screens due to the presales of 3500 tickets.
Of course Wal-Mart is not about to let this opportunity to make a dollar slip by them. You could have bought your significant other a romantic gift basket featuring a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' theme. The basket includes gourmet snack foods, bubble bath, handcuffs and mask, and other assorted goodies in a gift box hand-tied with a rope. And Target has a line of lingerie with a “Fifty Shades” theme.
Now, anyone who has read the book will tell you it’s a complicated love story between a man and a woman. For the record, I have not read this book. The title of the book speaks of the complications in this man’s life.
The author said that she chose the surname of Grey because nothing is black or white; it depends on your point of view. Thus, she is not is not judging Christian Grey’s behavior but telling a life full of ‘shades.’
In fact, the shadows are the different facets of the life of Grey. In the book Anastasia Steel and Christian Grey have a conversation, where he tells her a little about what happened to him in his childhood. He has a tormented soul, he is a man with many shades… 50! Hence the title, “50 Shades of Grey.”
To some extent her analyst of life being in a gray area at times are true, even in relationships. There are things in the life of my wife and myself that can be gray, not clearly black and white. So I thought I would solve that problem by making a list of those gray areas and write them on her Valentine’s card. Allow me to share that list with you.
“Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it down.
Do not ask me what I am thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
Shopping is NOT a sport, and I am never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Ask for what you want. Let me be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
I don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think I’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to me with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what I do.
Anything I said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If something I said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I meant the other one.
You can either ask me to do something or tell me how you want it done - not both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do I.
When it comes to colors peach is a fruit. I have no idea what mauve is.
I am not a mind reader and never will be. My lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little I care about you.
If I ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", I will act like nothing’s wrong.”
I don’t think my attempt to clarify went over very well. I come to realize that in marriage sometimes gray is acceptable. But is it acceptable in your walk with God. Are there gray areas that the Bible is not very clear on? And how can we be sure that a gray area is not actually a sin problem?
As you can see on your bulletins, I have listed some things that people might consider gray. They may not apply to you, for instance dancing, but you may have a strong viewpoint against some of these items. Take a moment and mark through those items that you feel are wrong.
Abortion - Partying -Pornography -Divorce -Astrology -Remarriage -Effeminate -Not being baptized -Fornication -Dancing- Dirty jokes -Fighting in wars -Use of drugs -Celebrating Halloween -Santa Clause- Version of the Bible -Women preaching -Tattoos - Piercing -Long hair on a man- Short hair on a woman -Wearing of Jewelry - Choice of lifestyle -Living together and not married- Smoking -Cussing -Gambling -Type of music -
R rated movies -Birth control -Inter-racial marriages - Tobacco use - Little white lie - Drinking
Allow me to share my stories from some of these items.
As I shared my stories with you, I hope you noticed that people, me included, were actually giving their spiritual preferences over spiritual principals. It is the thought that what is okay for me to do might be wrong for you to do. Therefore I can participate in something with a clear conscience. But the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:23 “You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’ —but not everything is good for you. You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’ —but not everything is beneficial.” So how can we better define those gray areas? There are five factors we need to look at. The first factor that helps determine whether something is in the gray area is “Is it sin?”
1 John 3:4 “Everyone who sins is breaking God’s law, for all sin is contrary to the law of God.” We, who are Christians, pretty much know what God’s laws are. When it comes to God’s law, we cannot stand on spiritual preferences. We must stand on spiritual principles. Look at your list again. Is there something you need to mark through because you know it is sin? If so, do it now. It’s okay. God already knows that sin is in our lives. We’re not going to shock him.
The second factor that helps determine whether something is in the gray area is “How does it affect others?”
1 Corinthians 8:9 “But you must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble.”
Paul gives an example of this in his letter to the church at Corinth. There is a group of believers who see nothing wrong with eating meat from animals that have been sacrificed to false gods and then sold in the marketplace. Since they are false gods then the meat is not unclean. However, there is another group who feels that the meat is unclean.
Paul agrees with the first group. No food is unclean in itself. So Christians are free to partake of any foods. Paul basically says buy the meat without worrying where it came from. He also tells those who feel that it is wrong to eat this meat not to sit in judgment of those who feel it’s okay.
He also instructs the other group not to despise those with strong feelings against the eating of this meat. Rather they are to be more concerned about not tempting their brother to stumble against their own beliefs. I believe Paul was a meat eater and loved it. But listen to what he says. “So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live—for I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble.”
For us, it may be a glass of wine or a beer with our pizza. We may see nothing wrong with it while a friend with us would never drink an alcoholic beverage. Not only are we not to tempt them with it but if they are weak we are not to do it around them.
So looking ay your list are there things that might affect others in a negative way and cause them to stumble? If so, mark through them.
The third factor that helps determine whether something is in the gray area is “How does it reflect on me?”
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 “Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others.”
People who know you are a Christian are watching you. You can depend on it. They watch to see if you live like them. They listen to see if you talk like them. They really want to see something in your life that is different from what they are experiencing. We are to make it our goal to live a quiet life apart from the useless noise of the world. A quiet life entails guarding our actions and our words. A quiet life is not behaving like the world but rather like Jesus. When you live a quiet life people will respect your choices. So much so that your choices will have an affect on them. They will gravitate toward you in times of need or pain. There will be no need for you to depend on others to praise the way you live your life. It will be available for all to see.
Look at your list. Are there things not marked through that look more like the world than like Jesus? Are there things that those around you are doing and they seemed shocked that you do them also? If so, mark through those items.
The forth factor that helps determine if something is in the gray area is “What does my conscience say?”
Romans 14:22-23 “You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right. But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.”
Your convictions outweigh your belief. Again, the issue here is meat sacrificed to false gods. Paul says if you are okay with what you are doing then that’s a blessing. There is no need to broadcast it or to try to convince others that it’s okay. Keep it between you and God.
Look at your list. Now it gets a little tougher. If something on your list is not marked out, is there any doubt in your mind that it is all right? Are you looking at something and wondering is it okay for me to do that?
Remember I said that it’s not the Holy Spirit that brings guilt. That is the job of the devil. The Holy Spirit brings conviction. He simply opens our eyes to things in our lives that are not in the proper relationship with God and encourages us to rid ourselves of these things. We have a free choice of what to do. Are there things on your list not marked out that you have doubt about? Mark through them.
The last factor that helps determine if something is in the gray area is “How wise it?”
Ecclesiastes 2:3 After much thought, I decided to cheer myself with wine. And while still seeking wisdom, I clutched at foolishness. In this way, I tried to experience the only happiness most people find during their brief life in this world.
It is believed that King Solomon who held the title as the wisest man who ever lived wrote Ecclesiastes. But as he got older, he seemed to lose his wisdom. Here he refers to possibly a drinking problem. He hints at trying to find happiness in a bottle of wine. He admits his attempt at gaining wisdom was actually foolishness.
Again back to you list. Is there anything remaining that you know is not wise for you to do? Is there something harmful to your health? Is there something harmful to others? If so mark through it.
Now you probably have some items left. Those items are gray areas for others. There are people who would disagree with you not marking these items off your list. As believers we are to stand on this Latin quote, "unity in necessary things; liberty in doubtful things; charity in all things …” We are united in the cause of Christ but are willing to give you the liberty to believe in those gray areas the way you chose to believe and we do so with love.
How about those items that have been marked off your list? Here is the challenge. The items marked off were done so because you felt they were wrong or because you know they are not pleasing to God. And if they are not pleasing to God then they must be faced.
We must decide on how we can reconcile our life to God. What things do we need to surrender to him? What things do we need to confess and ask for his mercy? God allows each of us our gray areas as long as they are gray. But when they become black and white, they must be dealt with.
