Introduction:
In the recent debate over marriage, there are some who say that we need to get back to the biblical definition of marriage. When that is said others counter with saying that the bible definition of marriage is screwed up because of what we see in the OT. The Bible, especially the OT, approves of things that we find objectionable today.
To get people thinking about how screwed up the Bible is on marriage, there is this chart that is going around the internet. Pass out chart. Must say that someone has done research but the chart is misleading in several ways. Let’s discuss this chart (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QikkVCasr7U/TtmzyTVLoAI/AAAAAAAAFsg/pE-MGI0VWA8/s1600/biblical_marriage_chart.jpg).
Start with top left, man + woman (nuclear family) Genesis 2:24: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” This is the biblical ideal for marriage. Other stuff does not apply until the Fall that happens in Genesis 3 and is making the nuclear family look bad according to contemporary standards.
Next let’s go to the bottom, right. “If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the woman and her children shall belong to her master, and only the man shall go free.” Exodus 21:4, NIV. Now this is reading into this verse slavery as understood in the US. Yes, slave owners would arrange and encourage their slaves to have children so that they could have more slaves. If not producing children, the slave owner could make changes, either sell the woman and get the male slave another woman to have children. Even some slave owners had sexual relations with their slaves and the slaves had no recourse. This is slavery understood in more modern times. Slavery under the Law of Moses, the slave had certain rights. “Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and the LORD your God redeemed you. ” Deuteronomy 15:15, NIV. Look at the context in Exodus 21 we find that the slave can become a permanent slave of this master and the master has to accept him and then he can stay with his wife and children.
Next let’s go to the male soldier + prisoner of war. When the Israelites conquered the Promised Land, they were to destroy everything and kill all the people. The exception was virgin women. The soldier could take this virgin woman and make her his wife. This block is misleading because it says, “If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.” Deuteronomy 21:14, NIV. This sounds so barbaric and cruel. Kind compared to what the pagan nations did to women who were prisoners of war.
Next let’s talk about the rapist and his victim. “If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.” Deuteronomy 22:28, 29, NIV. This sounds inhumane that this woman must marry her rapist. Well, since this man was caught he has a choice: Death or pay the bride price and marry her. For the woman, we need to look at vs. 29, it can be translated “and he may pay,” instead of “he shall pay.” With “he may pay” the tone changes significantly. If her father accepts the bride price and agrees to accept the man as a son in law; then the man must fulfill the marital duties that go with sexual intercourse. However, how many times did this happen. Most of the time the father would want justice done for such a violation.
Next let’s look at the levirate marriage. Genesis 38 is a poor example of levirate marriage. No, levirate marriage is shown in a much better light with Ruth and Boaz in the book of Ruth.
Next the bottom 3 on left under Nuclear family. Hard to define concubines, covers many violations of Genesis 2:24. Root issue here is polygamy. This chart makes it sound like God approved of polygamy. If God did not approve of polygamy he allowed it to occur. There are several things that God allows to go on in this world because of mankind’s free will. But several good things came out of polygamy like the tribes of Israel. Well, the Lord can take any corrupt practice and bring good out of it. No, polygamy is not good and God does not approve of polygamy. The NT makes this clear.
Thesis: Let’s discuss several violations of God’s ideal for marriage as seen in the OT
For instances:
Polygamy
Monogamy, one man to one woman, is God’s design for marriage from Genesis 2:24. “For this reason a man (singular) will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife (singular), and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24, NIV.
However, within 6 generations, the Bible records: “Lamech married two women” Genesis 4:19, NIV. The OT reports that a significant number of individuals in the history of Israel practiced polygamy. However, the OT paints a dark picture of polygamy. Polygamy produced many hard feelings and broken relationships in the lives of those who practiced it. We find disruptive favoritism that resulted in family hatred and even violence. Jealously was often a problem between competing wives. Scripture reports that Solomon’s foreign “wives turned away his heart after other gods” (1 Kings 11:4), a violation of the first commandment. David’s multiple marriages led to incest and murder.
Those who practiced polygamy abandoned God’s design for marriage and caused much damage in their personal lives. The sin and disorder produced by polygamy is a testimony to the goodness of God’s design for marriage as first revealed in the marriage of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The OT does not speak of polygamy as a blessing and many passages in the OT clearly uphold monogamy as the ideal.
Divorce
Going to talk about this more in the future but we see the lack of durability of marriage. God designed marriage to be permanent.
One debate that I need to understand better goes back to polygamy. Divorce is mentioned as happening in the OT but in many cases the wife was just put away and was not allowed to remarry. Without a certificate of divorce she was still bound to her husband even though she was no longer “one flesh” with him. The man would simply take on another wife and the original wife was stuck.
“You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. “I hate divorce (more correct, putting away),” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.” Malachi 2:14-16, NIV. This wife of your youth was still around. She has not married another. She is simply pushed aside for another wife.
Even if full blown divorce, we find that God does not approve of divorce, for the OT uses the analogy of divorce to describe Israel’s spiritual apostasy. “I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. ” Jeremiah 3:8, NIV.
Adultery
One flesh cannot happen between multiple people. Adultery was a constant problem in OT. Most infamous was David with Bathsheba, but there are many others.
The OT says in numerous places the fact that God’s ideal for marriage is fidelity. ““You shall not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14, NIV. Many laws in the Holiness Code against adultery. The penalty for adultery was death. Moreover, the book of Proverbs repeatedly classifies adultery as both foolish and dangerous.
The Lord often used adultery to talk about how the people of Israel departed from Him, their first love, to pursue other gods. ““‘You adulterous wife! You prefer strangers to your own husband!” Ezekiel 16:32, NIV. God expected his people to be faithful- both to their spouses and to him- and was offended when they were not.
Homosexuality
We know that cities of Sodom and Gomorrah engaged in homosexuality from Genesis 19. These were not God’s people is true. However, Gibeonites in days of the judges have a similar account to Sodom and Gomorrah that happened right in Israel in Judges 19. Also there were numerous other homosexual activities that occurred in times of the Kings of Israel.
In the OT death was the punishment for homosexuality. Talk about more in the future.
However, the idea of same sex marriage is not only contrary to biblical laws but also runs counter to God’s design for marriage. Heterosexuality- not homosexuality- is plainly in view in marriage. “For this reason a man (masculine) will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife (feminine), and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24, NIV. Moreover, how can a same sex couple fulfill Genesis 1:28: ““Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.”” Genesis 1:28, NIV.
Even among the animals the writer of Genesis notes that God made each species male and female, “after its kind,” for the purpose of procreation.
God made us male and female for several reasons. WE complement each other as seen in Genesis 2. Even in same sex couples, one is more masculine and the other more feminine.
By the way, if we alter God’s design for marriage in this area, won’t people want to alter its design also with polygamy. How can we change marriage for one group and not for another?
