HoHum:
Al Janssen- A few years ago, my wife, Jo, and I were walking through our neighborhood on a warm summer evening. I talked on and on about my day. “So, how was your day?” I asked Jo. “Did you have a good time at brunch?” That morning, Jo had met in a home with several women for a potluck brunch following their monthly prayer time. “There was one person missing,” Jo said. She paused, then with a sigh said, “Mary Ann didn’t come. Yesterday, Tom served her with divorce papers.” With that, the tears flowed. I grabbed Job’s hand. After a few silent moments, I asked, “Is there another woman?” Jo nodded. Anger welled up as I thought of this man who had served as a leader in the church we attended. I could almost write the script- I’d heard variations of it too many times. In this case, it was a “midlife crisis.” Tom wasn’t happy with his job. He wasn’t happy with his wife. He wasn’t happy with his life, and it was everyone else’s fault. So he was changing careers, switching churches and starting over with a woman 15 years younger than his wife.
WBTU:
Starting a series on the family and we will talk a great deal about marriage, the basic building block. This morning talked about how we need to be concerned with the next life and not so concerned with this life. Some might object to talking about family and especially marriage with the idea that there is no marriage in heaven (words of Jesus: “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” Matthew 22:30, NIV). Since there is no marriage in heaven the state of marriage and personally my marital state is not a matter of concern. We should talk about something else.
No, the Bible talks a lot about marriage and the family. Marriage and the family is talked about in the beginning in Genesis 2 and the Bible ends with the wedding supper of the Lamb in Revelation 19. In between the Bible has much to say about marriage and the family. Yes, all of this will be different in heaven but let us not be naive, the state of our family on earth has eternal consequences in many ways.
Judith Wallerstein makes this observation in her book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: “Having been raised in divorced or troubled homes, young adults have no idea how to choose a partner or what to do to build a relationship.” Where can young people find good role models? Unfortunately, many turn to the world of entertainment or sports where there are few healthy role models.
So where should we look? Our church and the Bible provide some good role models. Be surprised that God doesn’t just give us instructions about marriage. He inspires marriage with meaning by getting married himself!
In the OT God insisted that He was a husband to Israel. In the NT, the church is talked about as the bride of Christ. God hates divorce because He is married, and He has been faithful to His beloved despite many struggles. It is God’s marriage that can inspire our marriages with significance and meaning. No matter what our circumstances, God desires that our earthly marriages be a reflection of His and His love for us. So what does God’s marriage look like? What does this mean for my marriage?
Thesis: 5 observations about God’s marriage
For instances:
God’s marriage is a covenantal marriage
When did God get married? Hard to say but a good answer is in Genesis 15. “So the LORD said to him, “Bring me a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old, along with a dove and a young pigeon.” Abram brought all these to him, cut them in two and arranged the halves opposite each other; the birds, however, he did not cut in half.” “When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a smoking brazier with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces.” Genesis 15:9-10, 17, NIV.
This seems strange to us but here God chose a ceremony that was used among the tribes of the region for, among other things, pledging a boy and a girl in marriage. Such a covenant was irrevocable, even though it might be years before the 2 had a wedding feast and consummated their marriage.
God’s marriage is a passionate marriage
In one book of the Bible we find a young maiden working in the fields when a handsome young man notices her. He introduces himself as a shepherd and wins her heart. Then he asked if he could speak to her family about marriage and promised to make all the arrangements for their wedding. After that the young woman did not see him for months. Doubts came to her, and nightmares caused her to wonder if she’d lost her beloved.
One day, a huge caravan entered the town where the woman lived. Guarded by 60 soldiers, the group passed by. Suddenly, the king’s carriage stopped right in front of the woman, and a face looked out at her. “How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! ” Song of Solomon 1:15, NIV. It was her beloved- the shepherd was actually a king! He swept her into his arms and took her to his palace to be his wife.
This is the story behind the Song of Solomon. Many have viewed this book as a picture of more than marital affections. It is a picture of God’s love for Israel and Christ’s love for His bride, the church.
God’s marriage is a fought for marriage
When God’s beloved was unfaithful, God confronted her. When she didn’t repent, He exercised tough love, even sending her away with the hope she would come to her senses. The goal of God’s rebukes was always reconciliation.
The Lord instructs Hosea to: “When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, “Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness, because the land is guilty of the vilest adultery in departing from the LORD.”” Hosea 1:2, NIV. We find that this is an illustration of the relationship between the Lord and His people. We also find that Hosea fights for his wife much like the Lord fights to keep his relationship with His people. “The LORD said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the LORD loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.” So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley. Then I told her, “You are to live with me for many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will live with you.”” Hosea 3:1-3, NIV.
God’s marriage is a one sided marriage
There is no problem that anyone has had in a marriage that God doesn’t understand. Her is where we deal with the tough cases. Are we really expected to stay married when we are miserable? What if I give everything to my spouse and get nothing in return? By looking at God’s examples, I see that He has been in a one sided marriage many times, and still He remained faithful.
Look at hard cases like Russ and Marion Blowers. Russell F. Blowers preached at the East 91st Street Christian Church of Indianapolis for forty-five years until his retirement in 1996. The reason he retired was to take care of his wife Marion who had Alzheimer's. Russ said this: In the early years of my wife's Alzheimer's disease, she asked me one day: "what if the time comes when I don't even know you?" And I answered, "Well, I'll know you, and I'll be here for you." That is exactly what he did. His wife died in 2006 and he died in 2007. He was with her even when she did not know him.
God’s marriage is a heroic marriage
Christ laid down His life for His beloved, not because He enjoyed doing it or because we deserved it, but “for the joy set before him endured the cross” Hebrews 12:2, NIV. What was this joy? Christ wanted a bride. To have her He had to pay the price with His blood.
In this we find great meaning in: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25, NIV. Can say it this way: “Davon, give up your rights and become the hero to your wife, just as Christ was the hero to the church and gave Himself up for her.”
We need to learn how to live heroically. Our picture of heroes are fire fighters charging into burning buildings like on 9/11 and sacrificing their lives for others. It’s possible that someday I will be called upon to lose my life for my wife. But for most of us, the heroic marriage isn’t live out in such dramatic circumstances.
Every day I have numerous opportunities to give up what I want to do and instead to love my wife sacrificially. For example, I need to heroically bite my tongue when I would rather defend my actions against something Crystal says. Heroic love hugs my wife when she says she’s feeling tired rather than asking her about whether she has exercised or taken her vitamins. Heroic love gets up in the middle of the night when a child throws up rather than pretending I am asleep. Heroic love shuts off the television when I stumble onto porn while channel surfing.
Doing these and many other sacrificial actions every day causes us to find meaning in our marriage. “Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10:39, NIV. There is no better way to learn this truth than in marriage. I yield my right to happiness, and in the process of serving Crystal I find what I most desire.
A great marriage is available to any couple that follows God’s model marriage. It is God’s love that provides the vision for our marriages to go the distance.
