7 Keys To A Stronger Marriage 1 Corinthians 13:4-5NLT
“Pastor was swinging on his porch as one of his deacons came over to talk with him. “Pastor, I’ve got something to tell you. I’ve never told this to a soul, it’s extremely difficult to tell you this now, but my wife and I have had a fight almost every day for the past 30 years of our marriage."
The pastor was taken back. He looked away. He nervously took a sip of his coffee. He didn’t know what to say. The young Pastor replied, "Everyday?" "Yes, just about every day." "Did you fight today before you came to church?" "Yes." "Well, how did it end up?" "She came crawling to me on her hands and knees." "MY Goodness what did she say?" "Come out from under that bed you coward and fight like a man!"
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5. or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
Listen to 1 Corinthians 13:4-5TM So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self.
Marriage Therapy often calls for active listening, plus while affirming your spouse through paraphrasing, validation and positive feedback.
No interruptions, really listening while giving positive feedback such as- “So I hear you saying you want me to treat you as your best all time friend. I will do that, I can, yes, I will do that for you!”
Can I tell you, “Many marital conflicts don’t ever get resolved. There are always issues around: In-laws, children and money Etc.
Couple’s that retain mutual respect and understanding… stay together. Your attitude plays out over the long haul.”
Proverbs 12:18NLT Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.
Listen up men and go ahead and swallow hard. One day three men were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it.
The first man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof ! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about three hours.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned him into a woman.
She looked at the map, then walked across the bridge.
Remember, Marriage is a special relationship created by God.
According to Matthew 19:6 You’re no longer two, but one.”
7 Keys when conflicts arise.
Attack the problem, not each other.
Ephesians 5:21NLT And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
~ “Submission brings an all out attack against the adversary.” P.H.
There’s a real problem and sometimes the problem tries to divide- I say, “Attack it- pray over it!”
Again, attack the problem not each other. Most bad marriage problems stem from selfishness. “I want it my way!”
When conflict arise- You need to be heard, Stay calm and your partner’s more likely to take you seriously.
For you to be taken serious, you have to stay clam. This in return, allows the Lord to speak His peace and answer over the situation.
Paul wrote in Philippians 4:6-7TM Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Say, “stay clam and pray- believe!”
Ephesians 4:32NLT Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Kindness multiplying into becoming tenderhearted, forgiving one another- this all breeds calmness.
When conflict arise- Choose the best time to address the issues, not when you’re both tired and kids are hungry.
Remember, these are not suggestions.
1 Thessalonians 5:11NLT So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.
7 Tips to sleeping better, From the Mayo Clinic
* Stick to a sleep schedule- don’t cheat on certain days.
* Pay attention to what you eat and drink.
* Create a bedtime ritual- A hot shower or bath.
* Get comfortable- invest in a good bed and pillow.
* Limit daytime naps.
* Include physical activity in your daily routine.
* Manage stress- go to bed, leave stress out of the bedroom.
4. When conflicts arise, Consider your spouse’s viewpoint; men and women see things differently.
An elderly couple celebrating their fiftieth anniversary had no secrets, except for a shoe box the wife had always kept hidden under the bed. She agreed to let the husband look inside. When he did he found two crocheted dolls and 50,000 in cash. “Years ago, she explained, “my mother told me that the secret to a happy marriage was never to argue. Instead, when I got angry I should keep quiet and crochet a doll.” Her husband was delighted; she’d only been angry at him twice in fifty years! “Honey,” he said, “that explains the dolls, but what about the 50,000?” “Oh,” she replied smiling, “that’s from selling dolls!”
Hebrews 10:24NLT Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.
5. When conflicts arise- Remember, there’ll be times when you’ll have to compromise and times your partner will.
Romans 12:10NLT Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.
I have a good game for every couple to play- It’s called- “Out give one another.”
6. When conflict arise- Choose your words carefully.
Proverbs 25:11NLT Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket.
7. When conflict arise- Your answered prayer is just a partner away.
One woman wrote: Lord, I pray for Wisdom- to understand my man; Love- to forgive him; Patience- for his moods; Because, Lord if I pray for Strength, I’ll beat him to death.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12NKJ Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor. 10
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
James 5:16NLT Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
Benediction.
