As I continue today to teach on living a skillful life, one filled with wisdom, together we will discover the importance of relationships. It has often been said that no man is an island although sometimes we try to live as if that were true.
In 1965 Simon and Garfunkle released a song titled “I am a rock.” Listen to these lyrics.
“A winter's day
in a deep and dark December.
I am alone,
gazing from my window
to the streets below
on a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock.
I am an island.
I've built walls,
a fortress steep and mighty
that none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship.
Friendship causes pain.
It’s laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock.
I am an island.
Don't talk of love.
Well I've heard the word before.
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber
of feelings that have died
if I never loved, I never would have cried.
I am a rock.
I am an island.
I have my books
and my poetry to protect me.
I am shielded in my armor
hiding in my room
safe within my womb.
I touch no one, and no one touches me.
I am a rock.
I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain.
And an island never cries.”
One of the greatest causes of depression is the feeling of being isolated. God never intended man to be a rock. His intention was for us to fellowship and care for one another. His intention for us was to be fruitful and multiply his kingdom.
God never intended for us to an island. Churches can become islands made up of those select few rocks who bind themselves together. God wants us to be continents. He wants us to be a holy nation who cares for our neighbors and those in need.
Proverbs 24:6 reads “So don’t go to war without wise guidance; victory depends on having many advisers.” There is a tremendous spiritual warfare going on around us for the souls of those who are unsaved. The body of Christ needs each other for advice and support.
James 2:26 states “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.” Our faith is shown in our relationship with others. If you do not have good deeds that reflect your faith then, according to God’s Word, your faith is dead and useless. Today we will discover four points of living in a proper relationship with our neighbors.
1) Our good works must be non-judgmental.
Proverbs 3:27 “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them.”
A man fell into a pit and couldn’t get himself out. People began to gather around and discuss the man the pit and his predicament.
One subjective person yelled down to him, "I feel for you down there."
An objective person stated the obvious, "It’s logical that someone would fall down there.
A Scholar scoffed, "Only bad people fall into pits."
A mathematician calculated how deep the pit was.
A news reporter wanted the exclusive story on the pit.
An IRS agent was concerned as to whether taxes had been paid on the pit.
One man sobbed, "You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen my pit."
A fire-and-brimstone preacher with a Bible in hand screamed, "You deserve your pit."
A Christian Scientist observed, "Do not worry. The pit is just in your mind."
A psychologist noted, "Your mother and father are to blame for your being in that pit."
A self-esteem therapist said, "Believe in yourself and you can get out of that pit."
An optimist said, "Things could be worse."
A pessimist claimed, "Things will get worse."
Then finally a man stepped from the crowd and walked to the pit. “I also have been in a pit” and offering his hand, he pulled him out.
Proverbs 3:27 is clear on one point. We are not to withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them. We get to decide who deserves it.
In our story there were those who felt that the man did not deserve help due to his own choices. He chose to step into the pit. His life style condemned him to being in the pit. His background would only assure that he would once again fall into the pit.
We have all been in the pit. Maybe my pit was different than your pit. God’s Word say’s we have all fallen short. It says that “our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies.” His Word says “He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.”
I was muddy. In fact I was mired in my sin. Jesus picked me up out of that pit and placed my feet on his solid ground. And He walked with me through the Holy Spirit.
We are not to deny or refuse to help unless we believe that those in need are not due our compassion because they are unworthy. If we are to be like Jesus, how can we determine that anyone does not deserve our good when it is within our power to help them? Do not turn a deaf ear to their cry or a closed eye to their needs. We are told to extend our hand to do good.
When we do not sit in the judgment seat and judge others we are told that God will not judge us. Matthew 7:1-2 reads “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.”
Jesus in John 7:24 said “Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly.” To live a skillful life filled with wisdom we must not judge.
2) Our good works must be proactive
Proverbs 3:28 “If you can help your neighbor now, don’t say, ‘Come back tomorrow, and then I’ll help you.’”
During the early days of the ministry of Dwight L. Moody, the great evangelist launched a series of meetings in Chicago with promise of the largest crowds that he had ever addressed up to that time. He was speaking on the life of Christ. On Sunday night, October 8, 1871, he took as his topic the trial before Pilate. As he came to the end of his message, he turned to Matthew 27:22, ‘What shall I do then with Jesus, who is called Christ?’
As a draw for them to return he concluded, ‘I wish you would take this text home with you and turn it over in your minds during the week, and next Sabbath we will come to Calvary and the cross, and we will decide what to do with Jesus of Nazareth.
Speaking of it in later years, Moody called that conclusion to his sermon the greatest mistake of his life. Even while the final hymn was being sung the fire engines began to sound on the street on their way to their first contact with the great Chicago fire in which Moody’s hall was laid in ashes, and in which it is estimated that over a thousand people lost their lives. Moody never saw that congregation again, and some of those to whom he spoke on that night died. Never again did Moody speak without an alter call following.
The argument has always been, “Who is my neighbor?” In the times of Proverbs your neighbor was your friends, companions, and associates. Pretty much the entire nation of Israel. But not only those within your community but those foreign to you also.
Deuteronomy 10:17-19 “For the Lord your God is the God of gods and Lord of lords. He is the great God, the mighty and awesome God, who shows no partiality and cannot be bribed. He ensures that orphans and widows receive justice. He shows love to the foreigners living among you and gives them food and clothing. So you, too, must show love to foreigners, for you yourselves were once foreigners in the land of Egypt.” In other words, you too were once in the pit.
Even when Jesus was alive there was controversy over the question “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus answered the question in the parable of the Good Samaritan. The neighbor is the one who shows mercy on others. But it takes two to be neighbors. So the neighbor is also the one receives mercy from others. They are not only our friends, companions, and associates but also those who are foreign to our community.
James 2:14 states “What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, ‘Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well’ —but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?
So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.”
To live a skillful life filled with wisdom we must do more than talk about our faith. We must be pro-active in meeting the needs of those less fortunate.
3) Our good works must be trustworthy.
Proverbs 3:29 “Don’t plot harm against your neighbor,
for those who live nearby trust you.”
This proverb could possibly be translated as “Don’t bring disaster on your neighbor by plowing up his field.” Agriculture was very important in Israel. To destroy someone’s field would mean destroying their livelihood. You would certainly trust those whose fields were next to yours. Only an enemy would wreak such havoc.
This is a true story that took place in 2003. The church service ended at the Lutheran Church in New Sweden, Maine as everyone took communion. It was the first Sunday after Easter, and the 50 people in attendance headed to the fellowship hour to have some coffee. Some of the people complained that the coffee was bitter, but people usually complain about church coffee, so they didn’t think much about it until some people began to get violently ill. By the end of the day, 16 people were hospitalized and one of them would die by the next morning. Police discovered that arsenic had been dumped into the 30-cup coffee maker, making this the nation’s worst case of mass arsenic poisoning. The next shock was that a well-respected member of the church, 53-year-old Danny Bondeson, a potato farmer, was found dead at home from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. He left a note implicating himself in the poisoning.
The story behind the story was that there was a disagreement in the church about a communion table. For years the church had a communion table that was against the wall, and the blessing of the bread and wine was done while facing the wall. The Bondeson family had donated a new altar so that the bread and wine could be done while facing the congregation. But traditions die hard, and the board seemed unwilling to replace the old altar, even though a new one had been donated, because they did not want to offend some of those who wanted the bread and wine blessed while facing the wall like it had always been done. Speculation is that Bondeson had become as bitter as the church coffee and decided to teach some people a lesson.
Here was a man trusted and respected by his church family. But his intentions were to plow under and destroy all that trusted him. To live a skillful life filled with wisdom we must be trustworthy. Others must be confident in our motives.
4) Our good works must be peaceful.
Proverbs 3:30 “Don’t pick a fight without reason,
when no one has done you harm.”
One bit of wisdom when Debbie and I were facing those teenage years with our kids was “choose your battles.” When we butted heads with them we had to decide if we could compromise on some issues. Some we could, others absolutely not. But we tried not to make every issue a battle. It seems though some people just go around looking for a fight.
How many of you remember the day that Joe Thiesman broke his leg. I’ll never forget it. You want to know why I won’t forget it. It is for the same reason you remember it. Because the NFL played it over and over and over… instant replay.
We tend to have instant replay in our mind. Do you know that people can offend you without realizing it? Do you think perhaps you have offended someone without realizing it? I know I have and I am pretty sure you have also.
A pastor’s son and his mom had been shopping and the boy had not behaved himself. As they were driving home, he could sense her displeasure and knew he would be punished. He asked, “When we ask God to forgive us when we are bad. He does, doesn’t he?” His mother replied, “Definitely, yes.”
The boy continued cautiously, “And when he forgives us. He buries our sins in the deepest sea, doesn’t he?” The mom replied, “Definitely, yes.”
The boy was silent for a while and then said, “I’ve asked God to forgive me, but I bet when we get home, you’re going fishing for those sins aren’t you?” The mother replied, “Definitely, yes!”
We are not to go fishing for the sins of those who have wronged us unintentionally. But that leaves a loop hole right? How about those who intentionally harm us?
Let me leave you with this scripture. It is 1 Corinthians 2:11
“No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit,”
You may think you know what motivated that person to do you harm. But we are called to not judge peoples motives. We are called to pray for them and not quarrel with them. We are called to give them the benefit of doubt.
To live a skillful life filled with wisdom we must be peaceful with others. We must learn to live Proverbs 20:3 “Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling.” The honor you receive is not only from others but also from God.
Our good works must show for our faith to be alive. We must help those less fortunate without judging them. We must be trustworthy and not quarrelsome. When we truly love our neighbors as ourselves then we are walking in wisdom.
