I've been preaching the Good news of the Gospel for the better part of 20 years now. I’ve wrestled with the Bible and I’ve learned the ropes. You could make a good argument that I’ve got the salvation recipe down to a “T” I know the verses, the language the theory and the experience; I had learned the entire process and I started excelling in working the works of God in all earnestly and vigor. Being head elder was just the seal of my perfection. Wait, I did not boast of course. I knew full well that I was imperfect by theory. My knowledge caused me to be puffed up. But o me o my - The devil had me fooled, was I ever wrong? Yes I was! This was a recipe for disaster and it affected my relationship with Christ, my humility and my salvation and ultimately eternal life!
Nevertheless, looking back I can see Gods hand executing His purposes in my life, as far as I went. He is still leading me, All along the way I heard a still small voice saying, this is the way walk in it! However, I dismissed it as my imagination and my conscience– it can’t be the Holy Spirit, can it now? if I yield to this voice, which is not a voice but my mind playing tricks on me I could become a victim of my own thinking being fooled by my imagination and my own mind. I could fall prey to the devil and his devices, so I reasoned!)
Many years ago, I was saved and baptized but my experience dulled over time
But the still small voice persisted giving me a very weird idea, you are not goanna make it! You are caught in a form of religion without the power of it. You are stuck in a rut.
I listened to this voice attentively (it’s becomes crucial when it involves to my salvation, and I refuse to lie to myself) So, I tried to get out of the rut, I knew there was a problem with me and with the church, I could not grow in a church where there is a form of religion, thus I tried to change it. I was resisted and I fought the good fight with everything in me - I got nowhere. Thinking I did.
Searching the Scriptures and praying about it, I received another message and I wrestled with this idea: What would happen if Jesus should come now! What would the outcome be, would you make it? – You forsook your first love and you are trying to justify your sins what if? What if you’re caught in this condition when Jesus comes or death, whichever comes first (I knew I had to be honest and sincere) remember I won’t lie to myself.
Well, I could answer this concern instantly, I am saved and if I commit sin I will be covered by the robe of Christ, by His righteousness– this can become a nice cliché and an easy way out, mentality! Justifying my pet sins unconsciously believing in salvation by force. This is not lying to myself, be honest if you think you can’t lose your salvation you are lying to yourself in order to justify your erratic lifestyle But I wanted to be true to God, so while beating myself up I heard the still small voice again saying this is the way walk in it. (it is as the Jesus describes it, you don’t know where it comes from, its like the wind but you are aware of its influence John 3)
I searched for answers by praying and Asking God to lead me, Studying the Word of God and gaining knowledge, Jesus led me verse after verse speaking directly and intentionally to my current concerns. But I am a hard nut to crack – very stubborn (the misinterpretation of the theory I had caused me to have a false sense of assurance. It effectively silenced the still small voice and caused me to be overwhelmed with trying. It was time consuming! And it created bad relationships.
Nevertheless I persisted, knowing that I’m saved by Grace and not by works. We use these truths as cliché’s, don’t we. I knew full well what grace meant. Grace means unmerited favor, grace is bestowed on us as long as we stay close to Jesus in an active and life changing relationship) I knew that works should be the evidence of our salvation and works won’t save me. But I did not know the practical application of these words I thought I did. So, I started doing what I thought a saved person should look like. In other words, doing evangelism preaching, helping the poor, and so on. I found myself turning back to my own efforts to work away from my first love, Actively doing the works of God because I do believe that we will be judged by our works and I did give my life to Christ so I am OK, right, - think again – wrong!. (If the truth be told, unconsciously, I performed these little tasks to score points to have the right to the tee of life. I believed I was covered by the robe of righteousness. I had the fruits but unconsciously I was actually working hard to impress God, it was not fruits at all).I believed I had the fruits of the Spirit I mean I am doing these good works for God I mean I was preaching that we should never try to impress God by our own works. But that’s exactly what I was trying to do)
Fruits should come from a relationship with God, obeying, not to be saved but because we are saved) (this sentence could becomes a nice slogan to use if you don’t know what you’re talking about) I thought I was doing the right thing, after all, I had such a good grasp on the theory, so I am putting it into practice. I am doing exactly what is expected of me.
But the still small voice persisted. “Are you not a white washed tombstone full of dead man’s bones” – you should draw closer! Working the works of God has more to do with meekness humility, Love for God and love for your fellow men from a sanctified life. It’s supposed to be true love humility and sacrificial outreach. These works became hard to do. I was burdened with the heavy yoke of obedience (it should be light though) and I am falling as far as I’m going.
But this doubt persisted. Think about the parable of the seeds. Is it possible that I will end up being choked, enticed and engulfed by the world or, will I end up without roots, or losing my calling or worse?
This woke me up and I heard a new message. You should ask God to help you to resist temptation by prayer and being in God in other words give it to Christ! Just like that, He will take it. Ask seek and knock A.S.K (two other nice term to use if you don’t know what you’re talking about).
This got my attention, so I started praying, Lord I am failing. I am just not drawing close enough and I don’t know how. But I am asking! Again I heard the still small voice, give it to God, first seek the kingdom of God you’re not doing it. you are not practicing what you are preaching, are you?
But this is just impossible! How do you give something to God? How? I don’t know how! So I prayed and asked; that was all I could do. The Holy Spirit caused me to be so desperate that I called a Pastor and I asked Him “how do give something to Christ” Well to make a long story short - they didn’t know! And I was stuck in this dilemma. How do you give it to God? You can’t hand it over! Spiritually Speaking, This concept was hard, very hard! Knowing that I did not give anything to God except my efforts.
So, I am a still a sinner full of sin (but I had another card up my sleeve and it was an “A” and I used it! It went something like this “all have sinned and come short of the glory of God”) that’s it - I’m doing well! No more worries, I just kept on prying and asking and doing what I’m doing. But the Holy Spirit wasn’t through with me, and He won’t leave you if you are honestly sincere. The Holy Spirit warned me and He assured me (You are forming another very nice cliché” and I realized that I’m a hypocrite, and the still small voice added, practice what you preach!
So, I heard the still small voice again! Jesus is coming back and you are not ready, you will not make it! Don’t fool yourself. What are you going to do if Jesus comes now? What will you give to do come to Christ? Whatever! I replied. In my mind the dialog went on. Whatever you do, you must do it quickly. the end is near; ask Jesus for help!
So, what on earth should I do, I just don’t have complete assurance, actually by now I knew I’m not ready and Jesus is almost Here I heard another voice (a cliché again) - nobody is perfect, and God will cover you, just be good –things will change just wait and see!
This scared me! And the still small voice interrupted and said. You don’t have complete assurance of salvation and you’re not succeeding in being good! Practice what you preach; you are not seeking the kingdom of God wholeheartedly!
So I reasoned, I better shape up, and I started practicing what I was preaching. I gave over, I said, Jesus I cannot do it, help me, I will pray till you do. I experienced everything I knew on a new level. I started at the basics: I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed, repeatedly and continually asking for that assurance of salvation, Then I heard the still small voice again – you’re praying for the wrong things – ask for guidance and salvation, you have a false sense of assurance. You’re not saved you’re a hypocrite! This scared me a lot -So I practiced what I preached, I mean it is just that serious! So I started praying for the reality of salvation.
I started with asking seeking and knocking continually. Guess what - nothing happed!
I was horrified, actually this made me very nervous!
So I heard the still small voice again: you are not sincere, you are going through the motions. You preach to others but you are not practicing it, in fact you have all the knowledge and your condemnation will be worse than those who don’t know the truth! Remember the judgment begins at the church, what will you do once the mercy door closes? What will you do if the Holy Spirit is poured out and you don’t receive the Holy Spirit during the time of the latter rain?
All I can say is, – Fear is a good thing! God uses fear to draw us closer.
So, I started praying: and the still small voice persisted: Salvation is of the Lord -I knew that!
Or did I? Yes I did, but I didn’t experience it. The voice was heard again, you are not sincere, you are not saved, and you won’t meet Jesus in this state. how sad will it be if you reject him when the new Jerusalem descends, you can’t let that happen you love him too much and you want to meet Him like this. You want to meet Jesus, right? You want to be in that number right? What if you are lost when the Savior comes, knowing that you proclaimed and longed for His Salvation.
This scared me, no, it was more than scary. This message filled me with sorrow – can you see how the Holy Spirit took me through the various stages of salvation!
I prayed, Lord I don’t want to miss such a gift, I don’t want to neglect such a salvation. I want to meet you Jesus. I am not after the reward of Heaven. It would be nice but I want to meet Jesus and I will be grateful for the reward of meeting Jesus, this is my most important priority! I want to meet the God who loved me enough to die for me. I want to experience life with you forever. I want to hear the words “well done good and faithful servant, come in and inherit the Kingdom of God” the voice said, you are not succeeding!
So, I prayed the following prayer repeatedly, and I asked the church to pray with me.
I pleaded, Lord, please save me, no matter what it takes. Please make it easy for me and explain the mystery of salvation to me. Please give me your Holy Spirit, no matter what it takes, I mean it! And I will keep on asking knocking seeking till you come and I will count everything else as dung. Just save me!
Well, what should I say, the Holy Spirit got a hold on me and gave me a determination to keep on praying just as Jacob did. I prayed, Lord I won’t stop till you bless me.
So I prayed and prayed and prayed, and I kept on praying, saying- no matter what it takes, I will do anything just lead me, do what it takes! WHATEVER IT TAKES! Take my life let it be holy consecrated to you. I don’t intend to be lukewarm. Help me decrease so that you can increase!
Just lead me to will according to your good pleasure and help me to fulfill my mission as you have planned it for me. Please you are the Author and the finisher of my Faith, please finish it! Please Lord completes it unto the end. Help me to get out of your way. I don’t want to neglect such a salvation, nothing else is as important. No matter what it takes, save me!
That Saturday we prayed about it, Ernie commented. Be careful what you pray for!
I replied, I mean it though, and I really did!
Well I went to sleep and couldn’t sleep for 2 days, and I woke up in Hospital, In Intensive Care.
This was a very strange encounter:
Now I hear the still small voice all the time and much clearer.
This is what I had learned and through experience this time:
How are we saved? We are not saved by doing good, not at all. We are saved by surrendering. After surrendering comes rebirth. Out of rebirth comes kindness, gentleness, longsuffering and so on. These are fruits flowing from a saved life. These fruits will not come from us or our own efforts. That means we must decide that we want be saved and changed. Be convicted to the point where you want to die to sin – kill that old man of sin. You are a new creation, when you wish to sin, pray and remind yourself. I am dead to sin and alive in Christ Jesus. Ask for victory. Persist by actually dying to that sin, say; I will rather die than sin. Ask Jesus to give you the power to overcome, then when the sin comes, and ask that Jesus will remove it from your brain (When tempted, connect the sin with being doomed! being lost will be horrible and so unnecessary)
Then by some unexplained miraculous intervention you will be successful, who could have believed that it could happen to you!
Don’t become complacent though - you must keep on asking. Ask for help, ask for faith, ask for the Holy Spirit and His power, Ask for conviction, ask for knowledge wisdom and rebirth. Ask for fruits. Ask the Lord to change your wants and your desires, and to keep you stayed on the path (the narrow one of course) most importantly ask for time and ask for occasion and more important than that ask that you will not lose your Fist Love by returning to self initiated worthless works. Ask for love and humility and understanding, to be peacemakers and ask that the Lord will change your nature. Ask that He would lead you to accomplish His will in your life no matter what, and mean it! Ask for guidance, and ask for conviction. Let me say it again, Mean it!
These fruits is not a go and do kind of thing. This is being saved by asking God to supply your every need and total reliance on the Lord, asking Him to lead you to salvation - all the way! Ask Jesus to complete the work that he has started in you. Beg Him to finish your faith since He is the author and finisher of it. Remind yourself of the promises that God has made. Believe that He can do it and believe that He will. This is His calling, His faith, His grace, His salvation, He is the perfecter of our faith, isn’t it true? – You will be imparted with salvation, knowledge power and victory. Just stay the path. Keep on keeping on, holding to Christ praying for more. Ask God, Please do not allow me to stop thinking about praying, help me to be a prayer warrior. Help me to pray daily all day long, wherever I go. REMEMBER TO! A.S.K,(ask seek and knock) God what is the next step. – be persistent, no nag! By beholding you will become changed by the radiance of the Holy Spirits Glory (Position yourself to be blessed by God) Flood your senses with Godly information. Drop your TV from a cliff. A few daemons will flee with it. Rid your life from temptations. You do not want to let soap operas and promiscuous actors who hate the Lord influence you’re Spiritual grow, do you now. Be careful little eyes what you see. Go on sing this song; you didn’t learn it for nothing. Everything must be done to His glory. It will never be your efforts. Your efforts will always be filthy rags. But once you are genuinely saved your efforts will be boosted by Gods power. You will give the step and He will direct your footsteps. Stop! Turn around! And let God be God in your life! He is more than your Savior, He is your Savior, your Law giver, your Advocate and you’re Judge. or did he die so that you can get saved and continue in sin? (If Jesus died to abolish the Law which is a transcript of His Character and a demonstration of love and If He died so that we can receive a license to sin then we would be better off without His sacrifice, wouldn’t we – Is it true? Matt 5:17-20)
Say, it as if you mean it. Give the first step away from sin. (Salvation and acceptance is more than grace, it is reaching out and meeting God halfway isn’t it? The work of the Holy Spirit cooperating with your efforts is like stepping to a cliff with a hang glider. You must trust and take the plunge, He will hold you up. It’s all about acceptance and allowing Him to dwell within you and to transform you. Create a clean environment or He will leave. Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, buy out the time. Pray continually, seek Him diligently) you need Him more than oxygen. When you are tempted and lusting after sin why don’t you decide listen to God by asking Him to give you the victory by not wanting to sin Power to overcome acts 1:8. It is very hard to sin while you’re praying. God will change your abilities so much you will not even comprehend it (if God can’t keep you from sin, then you are saying that the devil is bigger than God, aren’t you?) Just keep on praying every waking hour, every possible moment and give it to God by letting go. It is not about working it’s about refusing to work, relying on His Work to produce fruits in you which is your proof of salvation. When the devil comes knocking at your door why don’t you call Jesus to open it! – You should cultivate a habit of nagging studying praying and praising God. Is this not the whole duty of man!
Every step you want to make, don’t make it by yourself, ask the Lord to help you to make it - don’t lose your fist love.
It’s received by osmosis: gradual absorption: the gradual, often unconscious, absorption of knowledge or ideas through continual exposure rather than deliberate learning
Your destination is heaven. Use the Bible as your roadmap and the HS as your compass. (Remember will be difficult to find it and few will) will you? how serious are you really?
Meditate on meeting God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Meditate on the Law, grace, salvation, Heaven, perfect Love, joy, peace, everlasting happiness, heaven as our home, eternal bliss. Ruminate on discovering all kinds of mysteries. Be heavenly minded. What would it be like to see Jesus piercing through the clouds? What would it be like to receive a glorified flying body? What would fellowship with God and His Angels be like? Can you imagine perfect worship and the music in heaven? God and Jesus will be our Pastors. What would it be like departing to heaven…? Meditate on the following things. How will the food taste. What would a new earth without a sea look like. I mean all the water will be spread over the earth and it will be clean. where did God come from, where did he get all of this power, where did he live before there were any heaven or earth, how are the universe suspended and maintained, what will the new Jerusalem be like. What would perfect love be,
What would your mansion look like, and having fun continually never getting board, being perfectly happy - all the time. If God is love and all powerful how far can He go when it comes to making you happy. No fear, no stress, no sickness. You will not experience anther bad relationship. Just Joy peace and happiness. I’m looking forward to meeting God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, the angels and all of the saints being reunited, witnessing the recreation. Think about it, Jesus waked through walls, that’s a miracle, how did he do it. Cherish this sense of awe. No more sin! Forget the Golden streets, there is more to heaven than that! It’s just an ad on!
This is our calling, to be a servant of Jesus, Wait! What does the word servant mean? In the original, servant means “slave”. Jesus came as a slave, He left us this example, and He came to serve, not to be served. Are you being served? Or do you serve yourself. Are you catering for lusts and the opinions of your friends, are you being swayed by the opinions or acceptance of those who want to live worldly? Are you asking your worldly friends for Christian advice. Be careful! ask Jesus.
are you persistently or unconsciously feeding the old man of sin- stop it and reject it and trust in Jesus or you will loose your step and remember It’s impossible to receive salvation by doing good deeds, even though you will be judged by your deeds, better known as fruits. Don't dabble in sin, it will consume you. You must come to Jesus by grace through faith.
God don't mind nagging But he hates silence look at this
The Parable of the Persistent Widow
18 Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart, 2 saying: “There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man. 3 Now there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, ‘Get justice for me from my adversary.’ 4 And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, ‘Though I do not fear God nor regard man, 5 yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.’”
6 Then the Lord said, “Hear what the unjust judge said. 7 And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? 8 I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?”
Call out to God. You may ask – HOW do I do that: Answer: anyway and every way you can!
