HoHum:
Gene Getz was leading some Bible studies on the qualifications of church leaders. Two men were there who were new Christians and had little knowledge of the Bible. After a few sessions these two men said, “You know this is the first time we’ve heard this list of qualifications from the Bible. But we’ve learned from experience in hiring people for management positions that this is the kind of men we’re looking for. We want men who have a good reputation. We don’t want a man who is cheating on his wife or sleeping around, because chances are, he’ll cheat the company. We certainly don’t want a man who has all kinds of domestic problems. If he can’t handle his own family, how in the world is he going to handle people in a steel mill?”
WBTU:
The qualifications for deacons, church leaders and the ideals for Christians are not finished when Paul addresses the wives of deacons. He then names two find requirements that relate to the deacons’ family life.
The need for marital purity and family qualifications:
When the Israelites left Egypt, God warned his people against the corrupt sexual practices of the surrounding heathen nations. He commanded His people to be separate from these nations and to uphold marital fidelity and sexual purity. this is also a principle of first order for the local church. These principles must not be violated or the church suffers the worst of consequences, as the OT demonstrates.
In Leviticus 18, Moses lists in detail all the sexual sins of the godless nations that would surround the nation of Israel. The children of God, warns Moses, must never practice such sins or they too will be destroyed. Read Leviticus 18:24, 30
Tragically, many Christian denominations have learned absolutely nothing from the OT about the dangers of pagan standards of sexual behavior, marital fidelity and family structure. In nearly every major Christian denomination- God’s laws regarding marriage, divorce, sexuality, and gender differences are being discarded and replaced with corrupt practices. Adultery and other sexual sins among church leaders is at epidemic levels. In some groups, divorce and remarriage is not a big deal. Some major Christian denominations have even begun to appoint open homosexuals as preachers.
Remember that we have to have standards as we go through this teaching. Might disagree with some of them but we have to have standards. SAdly, too many churches have no standards when it comes to marital, sexual and family matters.
The need for exemplary church leaders:
The local church isn’t a country club or a casual self help group. The NT tells us: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” Ephesians 5:3, NIV.
A godly marriage lived according to God’s laws is meant to be the means of untold blessing and is the best protection from the corrupting influences of this sinful world. It is the best protection and hope for our children and our churches. But a family can’t stand alone in a morally degraded and hostile environment. Christian families need the local church. We need sound biblical teaching. We need to see good models of fatherhood and motherhood.
A local church that is alive and functioning properly can help many families. Evangelists, shepherds, and deacons are chief among those who model God’s design for the Christian home and provide sound teaching on Christian family life. This is one reason why God demands that their homes and marriages be in order.
A big part of Satan’s strategy to destroy God’s people is to destroy the marriages and families of those who lead the church. If he defiles the shepherds of the congregation, the sheep will follow their sinful ways or be scattered. To protect the local church, God has placed specific marital and family qualifications for church leaders. Therefore, the church must insist that its leaders meet these qualifications before serving and while serving. If not, the local church will sink into the toxic wasteland of the world’s marital and family values.
Thesis: Let us examine these two qualifications in detail
For instances:
husband of but one wife
This phrase and the corollary “the wife of one man” occurs 4 times in the NT. Look these up. 1 timothy 3:2, 1 Timothy 3:12, 1 Timothy 5:9, Titus 1:6
The debate that deacons must be married. Had one man who was not married and wanted to be deacon, not able. After this decision, this man was upset but continued to serve as Sunday School teacher. Encouraged this young man that he could do service that others could not do because not married, however, could not be deacon.
Another debate is about remarriages. Paul does not disqualify widowers from serving who remarry. We have to go with the whole NT teaching on the death of a spouse and remarriage.
Another debate is about divorce and remarriage. In the case of remarriage after a divorce, unlike the death of a spouse, two or three living women could have been married to the same man. It can be interpreted that Paul and the HS prohibit a remarried divorcee from office because his ex wife (or ex wives) creates for the deacon, and the congregation, potentially offensive, embarrassing, or vulnerable situations. Therefore, divorced men are not qualified and that is the position here. Again we must have standards. Also need to provide areas of service for those who are not married and those who are divorced. Glad to see we do.
These are all side issues that consume a lot of our time. The main thrust of this is that this phrase is meant to prohibit all sexual and marital deviation from faithful, monogamous marriages. This clearly prohibits deacons from polygamy, unScriptural second marriages, concubinage (living together), same sex marriages, and/ or any Biblically questionable relationships. The main idea here is “to be a one woman man.”
What about a man who is married to one woman but has a mistress on the side? “He is committing adultery and therefore is not fit to be a deacon.” I agree. What about a man who indulges in pornography or is flirtatious with women? Must be a One woman man
Many circumstances that we can bring up that are difficult to answer. All marital deviations from God’s standard confuse and perplex us. They raise painfully controversial questions. Sin always confuses, distorts, and divides, so there will always be diverse opinion on many of these things. This is no way diminishes the local church’s obligation to face these issues and make wise, scripturally sound decisions. In all these heartbreaking situations, the honor of Jesus’ name, faithfulness to His Word, and prayer should be our guides.
must manage his children and his household well
Another debate is that the church leader, deacon here, must have at least one child. How could have Paul said this differently? If Paul said must manage his child well then these same people would say that to be a church leader must only have one child. Also do these children need to be biological or do adopted children count? What about a couple who are unable to have children? What about a couple who decide not to have children? Much debate but few answers.
Overall, This means he must be a responsible Christian father and household manager. He must provide for his family- financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
This means that while his children are children they must obey and submit to his leadership in the home. 1 timothy 3:4 is much the same for elders. The Bible tells fathers to discipline and instruct their children, not provoke or exasperate them. “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4. Be a godly father.
“Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.” Psalms 127:3, NIV. Elton Trueblood said this: “No matter how much a man may be concerned with his work in the world, he should not care about it as much as he cares for his family. This is because we have, in our families, a bigger stake than most of us can ever have in our employment. We can change business associates... we can leave a poor job... but we cannot change sons. If we lose the struggle in our occupational interests, we can try again, but if we lose with our children our loss is final.”
Children need constant training, discipline, and lots of love and affirmation. A Christian father must never be passive about the training of his children. If he is diligent, his children will benefit greatly and so will he. “A wise son brings joy to his father” Proverbs 10:1, NIV.
Please notice that there are no perfect, problem free children in this world. Even the best Christian fathers and mothers have child related problems, but these parents resolve the problems and are involved with their children in responsible, caring ways. They guide their children through the many storms of life. Such fathers, who manage their children well, meet an important qualification for deacon.
What about when the children leave the nest and then leave church and the faith? We raise them the best we can and trust in this promise. “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6, NIV. But does this disqualify someone from church leadership? In many cases the leader has been serving for years.
This verse might help us, Titus 1:6: a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. This is for elders but might help us with this issue. Two things here:
1. Adult wayward children are a source of concern. Those who interpret this to mean that all the children of a church leader must be faithful Christians place an incredible burden on a father. Even the best of Christian fathers cannot guarantee that all their children will believe or follow the faith when they leave the nest. However, this should not be glossed over.
2. Wild and disobedient refers to a person who is living a riotous, immoral, and maybe even criminal life, characteristics that could only be true of adult children. This is not describing a 5 year old child. Overall this needs to be a personal decision of a father as to His abilities for church leadership. Paul is not teaching that a spiritual leader should resign if he is not 100 % successful with his children.
The reason for this qualification is obvious. A man’s ability to manage God’s church is directly related to his ability to manage his household. If he can’t care for his family properly, he can’t care for the family of God.
