HoHum:
Several years ago, Redbook magazine did a computer survey on sexual attitudes and practices (not surprising). What was surprising in the survey was they sprinkled questions about religion in with the study. The survey of about 19,000 women showed that “strongly religious” women reported more sexual satisfaction than with “fairly religious women.” At the bottom of the satisfaction scale were non religious women; they are the least satisfied. Redbook editors admit to being “astounded” by this correlation. The editors’ could hardly offer an explanation. The “teaching” that physical pleasure is a necessary element in a good marriage is not the discovery of modern times, nor of psychology. This teaching is embedded in the Bible (notably in The Song of Songs) and has been appreciated and acted upon by people of faith for millennia.
WBTU:
Across the board, whether religious or non religious, 1 out of every 2 marriages in the US end in divorce. Here is another interesting statistic: A survey was taken that noted just 1 in over a thousand couples who prayed together saw their marriage fall apart.
Now most Christian couples pray together at church, before meals, and maybe with their children before they tuck them in for bed. However, rarely do they pray together as a couple.
The 40 day prayer challenge is where couples are challenged to pray with their partner for 5 minutes a day for 40 days. Out of this challenge a book was written called Couples Who Pray. Couples Who Pray followed the experiences of 24 test couples who agreed to take the challenge, praying daily. Wish I had the book but they have a web site (http://www.coupleswhopray.com).
Eugene Peterson- She came to see me at the recommendation of a friend. She had been troubled for years, seeing psychiatrists and not getting any better. The consultation had been arranged on the telephone so that when she walked into my study it was as a first meeting. Her opening statement was, “Well, I guess you want to know all about my sex life- that’s what all the psychiatrists want to know.” I answered, “If that is what you want to talk about I’ll listen. What I would really be interested in finding out about, though, is your prayer life.” She didn’t think I was serious, but I was. I was interested in the details of her prayer life for the same reason that her psychiatrists had been interested in the details of her sex life- to find out how she handled intimate relationships.”
What do sexuality and prayer have in common? These are both aspects of a beautiful thing called intimacy. A more accurate gage of a marriage should not be, “How is your (sex) life?” But “How Is Your Prayer Life?”
Thesis: How does praying together as a couple strengthen a marriage?
For instances:
Breaks down pride
Prayer is an admission that we cannot do this on our own. We need the help of God to get us through. We naturally want to do things on our own without anyone’s help. However, this is especially dangerous when applied to marriage.
“Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labour in vain.” Psalms 127:1, NIV.
“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18, NIV.
“For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” Matthew 23:12, NIV.
Prayerlessness is the very first sign of pride. Proud people don’t pray. In fact, the only people who pray are those who need God, know they need God, and can’t go on without God.
If we think our marriage does not need prayer, we need to be concerned about pride.
Shows vulnerabilities
When we pray together as a couple, we begin to hear how our partner approaches God. When we hear how our spouse prays, we understand their heart. We understand what they are really going through. We see the real person stripped of all pretension.
Praying together—or at least prayer together with any depth—requires presentation of myself as less than ideal, less than having it all together, less than whole. It requires the presentation of myself as who I really am rather than who I would like others to believe that I am.
Now in prayer we are talking with God. Even when we are leading prayer, we are talking with God. Vertical prayers are effective, horizontal prayers are not.
With this vulnerability we get honest with God and honest about our sins. We are much more able to forgive each other with this kind of vulnerability. What marriage does not have some areas that need forgiveness!
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13, NIV.
Someone has said, “Praying together is both a solvent and a glue. It dissolves resentments and bitterness, and binds hearts in new and joyous harmony.”
Increases communication
Let’s face it, men and women many times are focused on different things. Generally, A man is focused on his job, career. Generally, A woman is focused on children and relationships. Men tend to compartmentalize, dealing with one subject at a time, women have difficulty separating emotion from the conversation. Finances are usually a sore spot because one is a spender and the other is a saver.
In prayer we bring all of these things before God. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33, NIV.
In prayer and in reading the Bible, we should be directed toward things that are really important, realign our priorities, and find common ground.
Paul and Sandy Coughlin committed to pray for 40 days for 5 minutes a day. Paul says this, “I was a Christian nice guy, not because I was virtuous but because I lacked virtue. The virtue I lacked was courage. I had more fear in my life than I realized that had to be pointed out. When fear is in the drivers seat of your life you can’t win in love. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18, NIV. But the opposite is true that fear drives out love. For a passive person prayer can be a tough thing because you are so wide open and vulnerable.” However, Paul and Sandy committed to 40 days of prayer for 5 minutes a day and it has transformed their marriage. Many of these things would have never been brought out and discussed without a prayer time together.
Levels of mutual respect rise
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33, NIV.
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect ...” 1 Peter 3:7, NIV.
Husbands, make it a priority to pray with wife. Most of the time the wife sees that her husband is trying to take this head of the household seriously and her level of respect goes up. As the wife agrees to do this the husband grows in respect of his wife. As respect and love increase, so are the bonds strengthened in a marriage.
Respect is to give a sense of the worth or excellence to a person. “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” Proverbs 31:10, NIV.
Working toward agreement
“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3, NIV.
Nan Harris, a wise and elderly woman, was shut in because of severe arthritis. I would go to visit her from time to time. I cherished the times of conversation that we had. She was over 90 years old and had been a pillar in the church, but she was now unable to attend. A few months before my wedding, I went to visit her as usual. Mrs. Harris’ husband had died several years before and her children were all raised. I knew that she could give me some helpful advise. I asked her, "In a few months, I am getting married. Do you have any good advice for me?" She thought for a few moments and said something so simple but yet so profound. "Make sure that both of you pull on the same end of the rope." I have often remembered that in my marriage. If we cannot pull on the same end of the rope, we will end up pulling against each other.
““Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.” Matthew 18:19, NIV.
Oneness is enhanced
Dr Paul Tournier wrote: “It’s only when a husband and wife pray together before God that they find the secret of true harmony: that the difference in their temperaments, their ideas, and their tastes enriches their home instead of endangering it. When each of the marriage partners seeks quietly before God to see his own faults, recognizes his sin, and asks for the forgiveness of the other, marital problems are no more. They learn to become absolutely honest with each other. This is the price to be paid if partners very different from each other are to combine their gifts instead of setting them against each other.”
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24, NIV.
“A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12, NIV.
